Draco Malfoy was walking through the halls of Hogwarts on gloomy evening when Voldemort stepped through a doorway and slapped Draco. Draco fell to the ground.
"I thought you loved her my lord" Draco whimpered staring into the distance.
"Professor McGonagall loves cats not me" Voldemort shouted angrily.
"My Lord, she will learn to love men with no noses" Draco stated
"Maybe your right Draco but then again maybe i should kill all cats" Voldemort murmured
Draco lay there silently thinking about his big, fluffy white cat named Cuddles. He shuddered to think what Voldemort would do to Cuddles.
"M-m-m-my Lord mayb-b-be you-u-u should-d-d not-t d-d-do tha-a-at" Draco stuttered
"What are you so scared for Draco?" Voldemort questioned.
"Nothing" Draco mumbled effectively terminating the conversation.
Meanwhile...
Harry is sitting on his bed watching his map. He saw Malfoy and Voldemort talking and gasped dramatically (for effect of course). Being the nosy bastard he is he gathers his invisibility cloak and trundles down the stairs to eaves drop. Once Harry gets to the corridor, the nosy prick pulls out his wand. Fortunately for Draco and Voldemort Harry hears some of their conversation. Gasping (again for dramatic effect) Harry runs off to save Crookshanks whom he loves like a son. As Harry slow-motion ran (you guessed it for the effect) through the corridors he encountered a boggart which turned into a fluffy ginger bunny. Harry looked dramatically towards his right quirking his eyebrow, turning round slowly (for effect) he began slow motion towards the window...he jumped...and died a slow dramatic soap opera death.
Else where in the castle...
Minerva McGonagall and Albus Dumbledore are swapping pick-up lines..
"Is that a wand in your pocket? or are you just happy to see me?"
"I can top that just gimme a minute" Dumbledore replied "Oh I know, Hagrids not the only giant on campus"
"Can I whomp your willow?"
"You are like a bottle of Skele-Gro: You're growing me a bone."
"One night with me and they'll be calling you MOANING Myrtle."
" I want to get my basilisk into your chamber of secrets."
" Want to have a Tri-Wizards Tournament? Well not really "Tri-Wizard," I was thinking more one wizard and two witches."
"If I try hard enough, I can get a really big patronus. All I have to do is think of happy things."
"I know you want me to manage your mischief!"
"Are you speaking parseltongue? 'Cause you're talking to my snake."
" Could I borrow your wand? I need to practice my 'swish and flick.'"
"Have you been using the Petrificus Totalus spell? Because you've made me real stiff."
Laughing like maniacs the pair stumbled off to find a bigger bottle of Fire Whiskey.
They ended up outside Snape's storage cupboard and found a bag of gillyweed that a student had smuggled into the school grounds. So they smoked up and went to play with the Unicorns who were frolicking on the school grounds. Voldemort saw McGonagall and got into a jelly rage and turned the school into a big bowl of strawberry jelly which suffocated everyone in it including Voldemort...What a silly bugger.
The End.