Breathing

Author's Note:

This plot was develop during a fit of insomnia and writhing on the bed. I love writing Penelo in pain, because it causes Larsa pain too. I'm evil yes. But, I love happy endings, which include deaths. Warning the last bit may not be for those who do not like sad and dead endings, if you do not like sad and dead endings, you can go away. Otherwise, I love torturing myself and thus make sad and dead endings.

Acknowledgements:

David, your smile will take me, if only I could.

Landon, you are my Larsa-mannequin, you should stay in Archades.

Althea, story failed, help me up.

Jamie, you backstabber, idiot, I hate you to death.

He looked away.

She tried to stop the screams from erupting as her whole body burned excruciatingly against her flesh. Her vision hazed as the pain intensified.

She clung desperately unto the thrashed bed as the blazing scorched her alive. The throbbing sear that was raking down her began to overpower her limp control.

She screamed.

The screams were screams of torment and torture. They reached the depths of the house and reached the ears of those in it. She flailed again, unable to bear the suffering that caused so much hurt to her.

The screams sounded to her not her own, but thousands and thousands of mad hordes that screamed in burning fire, in blood-stained metal. The screams were roaring of the dead that welcomed her to join them.

Her consciousness slipped, but still she fought on, despite the harrowing cries that now resounded eerily. She gasped for air, her parched lungs constricting as her heart throbbed desperately to keep her alive.

He had said earlier that if it came again he would not be able to watch her kill herself.

She convulsed, arching her back as the fire grew larger and larger. The anguish now peaked and the screams intensified into the wraith-like wail of death. Torture, torture tolling into her body and embedding into her as the blades of ordeal impaled into her. Galtea, what did I do to you?

She dimly heard his panicking voice, out of desperation, he was talking to her.

"Look at me!" He shouted angrily. She tried and tried to look at him. But her eyes would not obey her as the fires raged inside her. "Penelo!" His shout came again, and again. She could not look at him. His unshed tears ghosted his aching face and the shouts came out in fraught whispers.

She screamed harder and harder, until she could no longer hear her shallow breathing, the faint thump of her dying heart.

Endless torture and cruelty, as she felt the spear of Heth himself slowly piercing her, corroding her and eating her alive, she could not endure it.

The brutality skewering her and decaying her aching bones and her screams still ringing, she started to slip.

"No…" His faded voice echoed in her ears.

She would not be able to hold on, she thought as the pain now became too unbearable. Her vision blurred into the ragged edges of endless black as her body limped. Her screaming subsided.

The fraying scorching began to fade away, and in her respite she felt the arms of unconsciousness wrap around her. She was burned and she was tired.

In the torn vestiges of her blurred eyesight, she saw his face.

Pained also. She knew that her pain caused him pain, probably doubled in the fact that he could not do anything to help her recover from the constant waves of agony. His eyes reflected the same fire that had tortured her.

His voice came out faintly. "Penelo, is it gone?"

She did not know if she nodded or whispered. Her mind was staggering into the deep pit of sleep. But very, very softly she heard her voice slide out of her bleeding lips.

"No."

He shook his head and Penelo tried dreadfully to keep awake a little longer. A faint whisper, a phantom transparent and inaudible but she knew those words that had too often slipped out.

The dark and dense black of sleep engulfed her and she gave in. After all, could she fight any longer?

The dim overhead light swung silently side to side. The windows offered saturated sunlight, and the floorboards were frail and old. This wasn't the type of room he would put her in.

Larsa stared at Penelo's limp body, her face still contorted into pain as she slept after one of the harsher and crueler attacks five hours earlier.

He had received Vaan's rushed visit, half-yelling into him that Penelo was dying. He had dismissed everything else and all business he had to come to the port house where he had found her… dying.

He would not cry, as tears often made the situation worse. He had to remain clear-minded.

Larsa slowly sunk into the chair next to the double bed. How could he remain clear-minded if the one at stake was someone that was intolerable to lose?

Her tattered breath already had a deadline, her heartbeats sounding more of a countdown. Larsa had not and did not want to believe that she was going to die. He stroked the damp locks of hair away from her face.

Everyone was downstairs or outside. They could not bear to watch, lest could they bear to hear. But Larsa knew that even the queen had shed tears for Penelo.

He would have to get out of this room unless he wanted to succumb into the weakness and satisfaction of weeping. Slowly, shakily he stood. His heavy footsteps thumping as he reached for the doorknob.

He twisted it open slowly, the door moaned and Larsa stepped out of the room.

He was met with anxious faces, as they had all gathered around the table directly outside Penelo's room. Larsa attempted to remain composed, which he barely did as he stepped near the group.

"My lord." Basch's gruff voice spoke and Larsa looked up, questioning. Basch stiffened and directed his eyes to Vaan.

Vaan hesitated, but still he spoke. "Larsa…what happened…it was…sounded worse than before."

"It…was." Larsa lowered his eyes, reaching for a chair and lowering himself onto it. "Very much worse than before."

"What kind of disease is this?" The queen's shaken whisper came from behind Larsa. The emperor did not turn to answer her; he rested his elbows on the table and covered his face in his hands. "Intensified poisoning…"

He looked up when he felt Basch's hand on his shoulder. Larsa sighed roughly and shook the Judge's hand off him. He did not need pity right now.

He heard the Lady Ashe's voice again. "Lord Larsa, do calm down." Larsa could not handle the reigns of his emotion anymore and he immediately slammed his hand on the aging table, Larsa held the glare on his hand.

He could have prevented this from happening he knew, if only she had allowed herself to stay in the palace a day longer she would never have went into that dreaded hunt for that dreaded mark. She would never have gotten spitted alive with the poisoned sting of the Vyyral.

Larsa's hand hardened against the tabletop, his fingertips whitening against the pressure of the restrained fury and anger that would drive him berserk lest he unleash it. He strived once again to remain calm.

Then he heard it, a faint rustle of movement from Penelo's room.

He bolted up, the chair half-toppling down as he reached the door in five strides. He twisted the knob open and then stepped in.

Penelo was awake, propped up against her pillow laid on the wooden headboard.

He closed the door and stepped closer, half-jumping inside himself to see Penelo awake and not screaming. "Larsa." She said, as her voice and her smile both weak.

Larsa smiled, sitting down on the edge of her bed. Penelo sighed and brushed away a wandering lock of her pale golden hair.

"Penelo, forgive me this." Larsa pulled her in for to wrap her in his arms, clinging onto her. Penelo half-laughed and half-coughed as the hug was returned to him, even though the arms around his neck were cold and fragile.

Penelo spoke against his chest. "I guess you're happy to see me." She smiled again and Larsa nodded. Penelo sighed once more before lowering one hand to trace the embroidery of the suit that Larsa wore. "I'm sorry you had to watch that earlier."

"Why do you apologize?" Larsa asked startled that Penelo was trying to ask for forgiveness for something that he blamed onto himself. Larsa' arms tightened.

"It's not fair that you blame yourself for this." Penelo whispered and her fingers found a rather interesting string that wound all the way down his chest and his shoulders. She giggled and pulled on the string. "Cute string."

Larsa flinched as the tug tightened the cloth around his shoulders and he struggled to answer Penelo's reply not comment on the design of his clothes. "Penelo…"

"Can we not talk about it?" Penelo cut him off and she skimmed her fingers on the Solidor-crest pendant that dangled around his neck. "I might scream at you." She laughed at her own joke and Larsa gave a scoff.

"It hurts a lot, you know. The pain." She whispered after a silence and this time she met his worried eyes. "I just can't control myself."

Larsa closed his eyes and stroked her hair. "It does not matter." Could he tell her that it was the same torture for him?

"Is Ashe outside? Where's Vaan?" Penelo began to ask about the others waiting outside. Larsa nodded and asked if she wanted to see them. Penelo hummed thoughtfully. "Later. Can we stay like this a little longer, please?"

Penelo felt Larsa kiss her at the top of her head and she laughed. "Larsa, only my father does that." Larsa smiled again and then leaned down to give Penelo a kiss on the lips this time. Penelo gasped, and the she relaxed, her arms winding around his neck as her lips kissed him back urgently. She pulled him down on the bed and the fire that had so long tortured Penelo now smoldered against her intensely but not painfully. She laughed silently. "Only my Larsa does this."

The air clogged at the back of her throat as her lips parted and Larsa now breathed heavily, his hot breath fanning her face. Penelo closed her eyes and then pulled him in for another when the sharp stab of searing stone pierced her back.

"Larsa!" Penelo shouted breathlessly, her arms clutching now in pain and not in desire around Larsa's neck. She jolted upright, bringing Larsa up with her as the same severe fire now flamed again in her. Larsa watched helplessly as Penelo thrashed against his chest. Her wide open eyes held his as her hands gripped on his chest, seething in excruciation.

"I'm sorry." Larsa whispered and drew her in for an embrace, as her arms gripped harder and her breathing constricted on him, Larsa continued to apologize.

It happened too fast, Penelo's struggling, Larsa's apologizing, her suffocating, his crying, her dying, his shaking.

"I can't endure to see you in pain, not anymore. I'm so sorry, Penelo." He whispered against his tears at her now lifeless body. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." He lowered her gently back on the pillow.

"Penelo, Penelo…" Larsa now cried loudly, his tears not bothering to be contained. "Penelo!"

Then Basch came in and Vaan stood shocked against the wall.

Ashe screamed and screamed until the crying and the tears filled her up and she crumpled on the floor, Vaan went over to her and tried to console her.

Basch had checked Penelo for a pulse as Larsa cried and cried at what he had done.

"I killed her! I killed her! I killed her!" Larsa screamed at the lifeless girl on the bed and Basch held him back, saying that he wasn't to blame.

Not to blame, even if he himself killed her.

The balmy breeze blew over him, swathing his body in fresh wind.

"Penelo." He whispered, as he crouched down on the ground, brushing away the fallen brown dry leaves that had cascaded over the slate stone. "I miss you." The black robe wrapped around him swayed again, and he smiled sadly at the stone before he stood up.

She was always beautiful, her pale golden hair flying in the wind as the wind blew against her. Her smile was always radiant, as the blue glow of her luminous eyes came. But she was always dead, even if Larsa saw her every time he visited her grave.

"Larsa, I miss you too." Her whispered voice echoed even though she did not open her mouth. Larsa smiled and sighed.

Penelo shook her head, as if reading his thoughts. "You know that what you did has been forgiven even before you did it." The voice came again as she smiled. Larsa nodded but his voice betrayed him. "I… never told you that-"

"You love me? Larsa, I've known." The ghost laughed and Larsa smiled again as Penelo looked at him earnestly. "I love you, too."

Then the sun rose up from the hills behind her and the glower of the angry sun blinded him, he closed his eyes to shield himself from the blare of light.

He opened them again and saw that she was gone.

THE END