Author's Note: This is my thirty sixth episode of Epic Rap Battles Of History. This episode, something a little different. In honour of the new year, the first rap battle of 2014 will be the 4 main characters of 'The Reaper' Vs. the 4 main characters of 'Te Amo, Rainbow Dash'. I don't own the characters in the rap battle or the ERBOH series themselves. I do however own the stories mentioned.
Now ladies and gentlemen, before I start this rap battle, PLEASE be sure to read both 'The Reaper' & 'Te Amo, Rainbow Dash' first! This rap battle will contain major spoilers for both stories!
Also, this will have the return of the KJ ERBOH Arena and will have a crowd, but there won't be interaction from the latter in this battle.
BTW, if you go to the end and see no credits, that means all the characters were done by me.
Beat: Eminem – Till I Collapse [Official Instrumental w/ DL Link] (/watch?v=C0IjKeb4Xq4)
(The KJ ERBOH Arena is shown under a night sky. Time speeds up to show a sunrise appearing as the start of Eminem's 'Till I Collapse' begins. After the sun is visible, footsteps can be heard on both sides of the stage. After a few seconds, Nutty, Flaky, Flippy & Sniffles (from 'The Reaper') walk on from one side of the stage whilst Soarin, Rainbow Dash, Braeburn & Pinkamena Diane Pie (from 'Te Amo, Rainbow Dash') walk on from the other side. The two groups stop when they both reach the centre of the stage as the music pauses at 33 seconds in.)
(Nutty)
"So, it's the new year. No longer 2013."
(Braeburn)
"An' KJMusical has brought us here to start the first rap battle of 2014."
(Flippy)
"Seems only fitting."
(Pinkamena smiles.)
(Pinkamena)
"Let's do this."
(Flippy clicks his fingers and a large crowd appears and starts cheering wildly as the beat starts up from where it paused.)
Epic Rap Battles of History!
(Braeburn)
"So, who's goin' first?"
The Reaper…..
(Nutty)
"KJ took a lot more time making your story. You go first."
Vs.
(A microphone is shot up into the air. Rainbow Dash flies up and catches it, but then throws it down at the stage where it bounces off the ground and flies into Pinkamena's hoof.)
Te Amo, Rainbow Dash!
Begin!
(Pinkamena)
So this is how KJ wishes to start off 2014?
I represent MLP, we'll be winning like Charlie Sheen!
Sniffles, face it, you're a pitiful excuse for a killer.
A Shakespeare-inspired tragedy is WAY better than a slasher thriller!
That Grim Reaper costume you wear's cliché, you should feel humiliated,
Plus, you only started killing because you got your hand mutilated!
You fake your death around me, I'll put you in a coma!
And I'm sorry, but nobody cares about your French diploma.
(Sniffles)
That's rich, coming from the darker shade of playful pink!
Your kills are unoriginal and consists of everything but the kitchen sink!
You got consumed by your blood lust like it was a red mist
And since you killed your original self, you should no longer exist!
Trying to outdo us is one of your millions of mistakes,
And your story's hardly original, it incorporated 'Cupcakes'.
You're a cliché pony murderer, you're far from brilliance!
Getting fillies to help you murder? Talk about a bad influence!
(Braeburn)
Why don't ya shut up Sniffles, you've rapped for long enough!
I've seen your death in 'The Reaper', you ain't THAT tough!
Now Flippy, before you start, I'll be makin' ya end!
Don't get upset with Flaky, she never was ya girlfriend!
Ya believed a letter written not by Splendid, but a stranger
And ya had the time ta' insult Nutty when ya'll were in danger.
Nutty takes ya girl and your sanity gets even more cut.
This battle will end like ya life in your story: with a knife to the gut!
(Flippy)
Brilliant diss Braeburn, like I haven't heard that one before.
Your role in your story was as pointless as Act 1, Scene 4!
I know your fic a tragedy and Soarin's demise is meant to be grim,
But think how the story could've ended if you actually helped him!
Your neglect of Soarin left him distraught and his sanity ripped apart.
In a relationship? Go ahead! Kiss Soarin and break your marefriend's heart.
'The Reaper' had suspense on its readers, making them hold their breath.
And the same thing just cannot be said about Rainbow Dash's death.
(Rainbow Dash)
Hey! You think you're top dog! At least I HAD a coltfriend!
Flaky walkin' out on ya made you hate Nutty 'till your end.
Speakin' of Flaky, you're a terrible girlfriend and I have proof,
Going into a one sided relationship for a friend's good will is a bad move!
Our roles were 20% cooler than yours. Ours were like pearls.
Ya shot Flippy? I'm surprised you weren't killed by the fangirls!
I'll be goin' through this rap battle with ease like a champ!
I only slept with Soarin once 'cause unlike you, I'm not a tramp!
(Flaky)
Okay honestly, I don't even know what to say…..
Against a mare that only lived until halfway through her play!
Also Dashie, I don't see a reason why you should be with Wonderbolt chumps,
And you never told your friends about your first date for 3 months!
When you brag about your 'coltfriend' Soarin, you're only showing off vanity,
When you died, you became a ghost that only drove him to insanity!
Driving ponies to murder? Is that how you get your sick kicks?
And as of now, 'The Reaper' has over 70 reviews, you only have sixty six.
(Soarin)
You may have more reviews than us, but don't assume you're awesome.
At least 'Te Amo, Rainbow Dash' doesn't have scenes that rip off Shane Dawson!
Nutty, your fedora and trenchcoat aren't the best clothing for you to wear.
Plus, who seriously on earth cries after having a horrible nightmare?
Now I understand your story was a piece of fan fiction,
but ya don't reflect your original self with his candy addiction
You stole Flippy's girlfriend, still think your heart is pure?
You're a terrible detective; you cry a lot and are immature!
(Nutty)
You think I'm immature? Well Soarin, compared to me, you're no worse.
Your quest for revenge against Pinkamena had you shut up in a hearse!
Ours story's more popular than yours, there's no need to scrutinize.
Also, you ruined your uniform, destroyed your trophies and attempted suicide.
You proposed to Dashie, but she decided not to be your wife.
Your parents died, that's sad but you see them again in the Afterlife.
Why don't you fly home and cry to yourself in defeat?
Tell Comet Fire & Trixie I just murdered you and your crew on this beat!
Who Won?
Who's Next?
You Decide!