A Ballad of Computerisation

A/N: 'Parody is merely a compliment masquerading as humour' - Willy Russel, 'Educating Rita.'

For my brother, who knows about such things.

~:~

1

The Internet is faster, for they say so,

and surely geeks at Microsoft must know,

They can prove to you with figures why it pays so,

starting with tax evasions long ago.

When a plain and simple page layout is wisest,

they fill it with all buttons known to man,

and when you have no time to do an update,

they will tell you it is time to Virus Scan.

2

Now Wikis are quite rightfully pretentious,

for their information's always up to date.

But if the issue really is contentious,

you must wait until the edit wars abate.

When the hackers have made off with all the data,

the admin's deeds are vehement and swift:

he will tell you there's a problem (much much later),

by email so you will not be too miffed.

3

Then nothing can be nicer or more Froogle,

for those who shop in swift and rapid style,

than to type your shopping query into Google,

where it trawls through data centres by the mile.

It has taught us to appreciate a bargain,

with free shipping, special offers and all that;

but if your search has found a British website,

there lurks the dreaded spectre of 'Exc. VAT.'

4

Computers now are tablets, macs and smart-phones

new devices in bewildering array;

Owned by the very smartest sort of people,

who use each and every one of them each day.

But there really is a very special feature,

which sets the everyday PC apart:

For ev'ry time you have the slightest problem

It will tell you quite succinctly, "Please restart."

~:~