Rushing and racing and running in circles
Moving so fast I'm forgetting my purpose
Blur of the traffic is sending me spinning
Getting nowhere
He was running. He was always running.
His feet thundered down the metal stairs, clanging noisily as he went, drowning out his screaming brain. He never stopped running.
It seemed these days all he did was run. Run to the plane, run to the party, run out of her arms.
Life was so fast, never ending, constantly pulsing on. Somebody always wanted a little bit more, more of the superstar, less of the real him.
He was coming to the end of his tether, he was running out of himself. Soon there'd be nothing left to give.
But he honestly believed that if he didn't stop running, he'd find just that little bit more. If he kept running, reality wouldn't catch him and he wouldn't crash.
The whole world loved him, wanted him, craved his presence and smile. They loved Troy Bolton, shiny and charismatic, they loved him on the outside. If that was what they wanted…
He pushed a little harder and his mind screamed a little louder. Stop, stop, STOP!
This wasn't what everyone wanted, they didn't want to see him helpless, they didn't want to see him falling apart. They paid for a show, and they were sure as hell going to get it.
His limbs groaned in protest as he pushed them down another flight of stairs. There was always somewhere he needed to be, but this time… he didn't know where he was going. He just needed to move forward.
His footsteps echoed in the concrete chamber of the unfamiliar building. All around him, nothing familiar, nothing comforting. He was falling apart.
In this world there was nothing but him. Surroundings blurred past him, there was no time for reflection. He was alone and he had to keep running.
And suddenly his legs gave out. His knees buckled and he swayed, collapsing onto the stair beneath him.
Panic filled his chest and he swore he could feel the bitter cruelty of reality breathing down his neck. He had to run, he had to hurry, he couldn't let reality win.
His chest heaved, darkness pressing in around him. He was suffocated, they were suffocating him. His hands began to trembled and his eyes began to sting. He was falling apart.
'Troy!'
For that moment he wasn't alone. The clacking of high heels echoed off the concrete and she skittered down the stairs hurriedly. He didn't look to see her, he just knew she was there. Her skirt swooshed as she drew nearer and he began to shake. He couldn't stay, he couldn't stay.
'Troy!' she cried again, 'Stop!'
Stop. He would have laughed if he remembered how. Stop? How did he stop anymore, did he even know how? So many years of his life he had been running now, how did he stop?
And then she was there, at his side and he couldn't fight off reality anymore. The mere sight of her and the damn broke. Months, years of running had numbed his reality, dulled the inevitable pain. With her, he was awake.
The first sob ripped through the silence and he felt as if his chest was being cracked open. It was too much to bear.
She was beside him at a flash, on the step with him, holding him. His body seized violently as reality finally held him captive.
He had been running. Running since he graduated, running away from her, running for the dream that he didn't want anymore. Not like this.
It had been so promising. He had wanted the fame, the chance to be in the spotlight and that's what it should have been. He was at the height of his career, everybody wanted him. But they wanted too much.
He was so confused, he no longer knew how he felt. His heart ached, constantly warring with his mind, usually losing the battle because… there wasn't time for feeling.
Shame filled him, flooded his every fibre. He chose this life, he wanted this dream. She had been there, supported him every time he walked away from her, let him go because that's what he had wanted. Instead he had succumbed himself to a life of solitude, chasing himself around in circles. After all this time, he was left with nothing but… nothing.
The sobs grew louder and his body racked violently. He couldn't bear this anymore. He couldn't run anymore, he had nothing left to give.
Her hands were soft, whispering over skin, holding him to the ground. The pain was excruciating, his heart shattering, his brain howling, his limbs aching and tired, but she never moved. She wanted to be there for him, even when he wanted to give up.
She held him to her chest fiercely, his head crushing against her throat. Her pulse fluttered against his cheek, reminding him of the life he could have been leading. Pure, simple, so perfect.
Instead life was in fast forward and he had missed it all. He had left her behind.
Her lips brushed through his hair reverently and she murmured to him, rocking him in her arms.
'Troy, I'm here for you,' she vowed, 'We're here. Together. And we'll be fine,'
He couldn't stop the sobs, the damn had been broken and for the first time in years, time had been stopped.
As he shook with cries, she sat unwaveringly at his side. She was the only thing keeping him from shattering into a million pieces, she was the only thing holding him together.
Eventually the cries slowed, into soft weeping, his heart shattering one final time.
'Sssh…' she soothed, her long fingers stroking his back with tenderness that made him want to cry all over again, 'It's okay. I'm here for you,'
'I'm so tired,' he murmured, 'I've been running… all these years. There's been no time, no time for anything, just… running,'
'I know,' she whispered.
'I'm just exhausted! All I wanted was to be with you and I keep running away,'
She nodded against the top of his head, brushing her lips fondly against his hair, 'Yes,'
'I love you,' he cried.
'I love you too,'
'I don't want to run anymore. I don't want this life! This wasn't my dream'
She laughed softly against him, the hum vibrating through him, 'I know Troy. I know,'
His head dropped to the crook of her neck weakly and he sighed, 'I'm just exhausted,'
My head and my heart are colliding chaotic
Pace of the world I just wish I could stop it
Try to appear like I've got it together
I'm falling apart
How long they sat there, Troy would never know. But he did know that she was the only thing keeping him together; his true rock. She never wavered at his side and continued to promise him the world when so many times he had failed to give her anything. When he was seventeen all he ahd wanted was the world. He'd wanted fame and he'd wanted her. Now he was losing it all.
Somewhere in that time, her fingers laced with his and together they sat in that stairwell, clinging to one another.
She ahd been here all this time and he'd been running in the opposite direction. How could this have happened?
'They love you Troy,' she whispered eventually, her breath sending shivers coiling up his spine, 'They love you and they all came here to see you,'
'I can't,' he murmured helplessly, 'I can't give them anything. I have nothing,'
'You have me,' she promised, 'You have me and Troy… you always will. You'll never have nothing,'
'I can't Gabriella,' he vowed, shaking his head against her collarbone, 'I can't do this, I can't go out there again,'
'You have to,' she replied quietly, 'And you can. I know you can,'
'But…'
'I'm here for you,' she promised, 'You don't have to run anymore. Slow down… with me,'
She got to her feet gently and stood before him; tiny, perfect and just a little broken hearted. His first and only love.
The way she sad way she smiled at him made his heart yearn for her, and her eyes shone with promise and trust. You can do this.
She extended her small hand, inclining her head gently, 'Together Troy. Nice and slow,'
He was drained, physically and emotionally but for a moment she made him feel like he could. He reached for her hand and allowed her to pull him back to his feet, pull him back together.
Their fingers laced tightly and her energy glowed within him. All of her promise, all of her hope, all of her faith, renewed and repaired his broken weary heart. He could do this…
Together they took the first step. A new beginning, life out of the fast line, how it was supposed to be.
Save me
Somebody take my hand and lead me
Slow me down
Don't let love pass me by
Just show me how
Cause I'm ready to fall
When they reached the bottom of the stairwell they emerged out into the open. The roaring grew louder and the high pitched squealing grew to new levels. Cameras began to flash in the faces but not once did Gabriella flinch from his side. They made their way through the crowd slowly and they clawed at him ravenously, they always wanted more.
At one time he would have given it to them, pouring his soul to them before collapsing helplessly in the limo afterwards. With Gabriella he was going to be okay.
As they wandered through a gaggle of screeching teenage girls, Gabriella squeezed his hand, just to let him know that she was there and for him that was enough. Eventually they slid into the car together and Gabriella curled into his side. She leant up and press a dainty kiss to his cheek.
'We did it Wildcat,' she whispered, 'And we'll keep doing it, together ok? We'll take it slow,'
Troy leant back against the leather seats, his head rolling back, their hands never breaking.
'Nice and slow,' he replied.
The car pulled away from the curb and for the first time in years, Troy watched the scenery pass him by. Gabriella's reflection smiled back at him in the window and he sighed. All this time while he was running himself into the ground he'd managed to find the place he'd belong all this time.
He was done running.
Slow me down
Don't let me live a lie
Before my life flies by
I need you to slow me down
-Emmy Rossum
Hmm… well, I guess you never know what to expect when you start writing right? I've had this on my hardrive for a while now and I figured that while I was in between stories it wouldn't hurt to post this for you all. This came from a scene of the Hannah Montana movie, I took my little sisters to it the a couple of months ago and one thing lead to another. I had definitely not intended for Emmy Rossum's song to be a part of the story and it wasn't until I'd finished it that I realized how perfect it was for the story.