Ok, hi people who are about to read this. This is some random skit thing that I decided to write out of boredom. Hope you like it!
Disclaimer-Sadly, I do not own Bella, Edward, Alice, or her yellow Porsche. Oh well :( But I do own the Random Chinese Lady!
A Day At The mall With The Cullens
Another Twilight Skit
Once again, Alice forces Bella to go shopping with her. But this time, Edward is coming along. They are at the Dayton Mall. (Don't ask why, they just felt like coming all the way from Forks to Dayton to go to the mall.) They are driving in Alice's Porsche.
Alice-Aren't you excited, Bella?
Bella-Yeah, sure…tell me again, why are we going to Ohio just to go shopping?
Alice-Because we can, ok? And, I wanted to drive my Porsche. You're not allowed to drive them in Forks anymore.
Edward-And, tell me again, why did I have to come?
Alice-You're gonna help Bella decide what to buy.
Edward-Umm…ok?
Bella-Alice, this is getting ridiculous. We just went shopping two days ago.
Alice-So?
Bella-I'm running out of shopping money!
Alice-Who said you have to pay for your stuff?
Bella-NO! I won't let you buy me stuff!
Alice-Why do you have such issues with people buying you stuff??
Bella-I don't know…ok, I guess you guys can buy me stuff…but no expensive cars!!
Edward-Aww, but I was gonna get you a--
Bella-NO!
Edward gives Bella a hurt look
Bella-Hugs Edward and gives him an apologetic look I'm sorry…I guess you can buy me whatever you want…if it will really make you happy…
Edward-Kisses Bella Thank you!
Alice-OH YEAH!! Do you guys mind if we take a side trip to the car dealership real quick?
Bella-I didn't mean you could buy me a car right now! We'll do it later, when we're back home…or not at all.
Edward-sighOk, but your still getting a fast shiny car.
Bella- mutters under breath Stupid shiny Volvo owner…
Alice-giggle What kind do you want?
Bella-We'll talk cars later…we're at the mall.
Alice-Ok, hang on, I just gotta find a parking spot…
They find a parking spot and go into the mall.
Alice-Ok Bella, where do you wanna go first?
Bella-Umm…I don't know.
Edward-How about…Victoria's Secret?
Bella-What the crap? No, let's go to Forever 21…which is what I might be if someone doesn't change me into a vampire anytime soon.
Edward-You know I don't care about you're age, Bella…and Technically, I'm almost 100 years older than you.
Bella-Ok…I guess age doesn't really matter…eww, I'm engaged to an old man! Just kidding, you know I love you anyway. And, you may be over 100 years old, but that's not technically your age. Your age is 17…and that's what it will always be…and I'll always be older than you…
Edward-Remember, Esme is older than Carlisle….you don't see her freaking out about it, do you? Age doesn't really matter.
Bella- Ok. Just as long as I'm not a day over 19…
Edward-I'm pretty sure you'll be changed by then, Bella…
Bella-Ok, lets just get this over with…to Forever 21!
At Forever 21…
Alice-Looking at a really cute red shirt How about this, bella?
Bella-I love it! Edward?
Edward-You look beautiful in anything…it doesn't really make a difference. But yes, it is a rather beautiful shirt.
Bella-Ok, I'll go try it on…
Five minutes later, after Bella tries on the top…
Bella-I love it even more when it's on!
Alice-Well, buy it then!
Bella-Ok! I'm getting these jeans to go with it too.
Outside the store…
Bella-So, where should we go now?
Edward-What about Victoria's Secret?? Wait, I have another store pun: What is Victoria's Secret? She's lesbian! Hahahaha!
Bella-Ok, ok, but seriously, where are we going?
Alice-Let's go to Abercrombie & Fitch.
Bella- Ok. But I don't really like that store…
Edward- I'll get something there…Bella, you can help me pick it out.
At Abercrombie & Fitch…
Bella-Ok, so what do you want to get?
Edward-I don't know…you pick something out.
Bella-Ok, but I'm warning you… ooh; this shirt would really bring out your eyes! Umm… what did I just say?
Alice-All this shopping has finally paid off! Yay!
Bella-Ok, well, here Edward, try this on. hands Edward a dark blue polo shirt
Edward-comes out of dressing room with shirt on What do you think?
Alice- ooh, Bella was right! It does bring out your eyes…but only when you're not thirsty, I'm not sure how it would look with black eyes…
Bella-I think you look great! Well, you could wear a potato sack and still be beautiful, but still, the shirt looks great on you, Edward!
Edward-Ok, I'll be sure to only wear this after I hunt, Alice. Thanks Bella! I'm going to buy this, and then we can go to the food court, it's lunch time…for Bella, of course.
Bella-Ok.
Alice-What do they have to eat up there, anyway?
Bella-I don't know, but it smells good.
Alice-It smells disgusting!
Bella-Well, I'm sorry everyone doesn't eat bears and mountain lions!
Alice-Seriously though, what is that?
Bella-I don't know….how come you guys will eat live animals, but not cooked ones?
Alice-Umm…Bella….we don't eat the animals, we drink their blood. When you humans cook them, all the blood gets cooked out.
Edward comes back
Edward-Ok, so what do you wanna eat? There's Chinese food, pizza, Chik-fil-a, and a Steak place.
Bella-I'll have Chinese.
They walk over to the Chinese food place.
Random Chinese Lady-You want to try teriyaki chicken?
Edward-No, thank you.
RCL-What about you?
Alice-Holding back gags No, thanks.
RCL-You?
Bella-Sure! eats chicken
Alice-How can you eat that?
Bella-Umm…it's good.
Edward-makes face Good? It smells awful! I guess it's just because of…what we are…you would probably say the same thing about what we eat…or drink, rather.
Bella-Ok, I'm ready to order now. I'll have some of that chicken Alice makes a face and some fried rice.
Another Random Chinese Lady- Ok, thank you. It cost 5.50.
Bella-hands money, takes food
RCL-Thank you. Have nice day.
Edward-Where do you want to sit?
Bella-points How about over there?
Edward-Ok.
They go and sit down
Edward-So, about our wedding food…what are we gonna do? After all, there's gonna be 7 vampires there…we don't want them to be gagging the whole time.
Bella-Umm, I have no idea.
Alice-I'll think of something.
Edward-You always do…
Bella-Alice, what would I do with out you? Oh wait, I already know what I would do without you guys…I would go make friends with some gay werewolf and be in like some weird trance thing. That wouldn't be good…
Edward-Good thing Victoria killed Jacob.
Bella-Yep, good thing.
Alice-Yeah, but he'll probably come back to life so we can do some more funny crap to him.
Bella-Did Victoria kill all the werewolves yet?
Edward-Yes. snicker
Bella-YES!!
Alice-They're all gone! Finally!
Bella-Ok, I'm done with my food now…where do you wanna go?
Edward-Victoria's Secret?
Bella-glares at him OK, fine.
At Victoria's Secret…
Bella-Ok Edward, why did you want to come here.
Edward-I don't know. I was just kidding.
Bella-OH MY GOD!! Oh well. Hey Alice, where do you wanna go?
Alice-Hmmmm. Hey, lets go to Macy's and buy you a Coach purse.
Bella-Oh…. alright.
At Macy's…
Alice-Do you like this one Bella?
Bella-Yeah. Sure. Whatever. Let's just buy the thing and get out of here, shall we?
Alice-Ok, gosh! Here, I'd like to buy this.
Cashier Person-That will be 4,567.99.
Bella-HOLY--
Alice-Calm down, Bella, I have a discount card!
Cashier Person-Ok, with the discount, it's 4,569.98.
Bella-Oh, yeah, cuz that makes it SOOO much better…
Edward-I really think you are making too big a deal out of this, Bella. Just calm down. I'm sure, if you could, you would buy expensive things for us.
Bella-Yeah…I guess you're right… but seriously, a one cent discount? What's even the point?
Alice-Ok, let's go now.
Edward-Where did you park the car?
Alice-Way over there…is there anyone around?
Edward-No.
Alice-Ok. We're gonna make a run for it.
Edward-Get on my back, Bella.
Bella-gets on back You know, I'm totally used to this now.
Edward-Good. This is how you'll travel when you're a vampire.
Bella-Is it fun?
Edward-chuckle Very. But you get used to it after a while, and then it's just normal, like walking.
Bella-Well that's nice to know.
Edward-whispers I love you.
Bella-I love you too.
Edward-And I don't deserve how much you love me.
Bella-You deserve every bit of love I give you.
Edward-Well that's nice to know.
Bella-kisses him Good.
THE END
PLEASE REVIEW!! And tell me if you were laughing your butt off during the Chinese lady thing, because I was!