Please Speak Well of Me – Chapter 1
First fanfic ever, so be nice. Just my version of what happens immediately after Season 2 finale. Taking some liberties with the story.
It had been ten days since he left with Klaus and four days since she finally accepted it.
She spent the days following his departure laying in bed, refusing to accept that he was gone and drowning in the sadness that resurfaced when he left – Jenna's death was too much to fathom immediately after the sacrifice. When Stefan left, the floodgates opened and all of the pain that had been repressed, for the sake of Jeremy or her own general sanity, was almost too much to bear.
Everyone came and went, stopping in to check on her; following the same script as the one before. They ask her to get out of bed; to take a shower and eat something. Alaric knocks to ask if she needs anything, but never enters. Bonnie and Caroline come by to try to take her mind off things. They tell her about the gossip around town and try to get her to watch television – anything to distract her from what's going on around her. She doesn't speak a word until she asks them to get her some water, slowly rising out of bed to lock the door behind them when they go.
Damon comes over everyday. He updates her on his progress; the places he's searched, the research he's done. How he thinks Klaus and Stefan are in Alabama. The next day, New York. He brushes her hair out of her face and tells her that it's all going to be okay. That he'll find them, kill Klaus and bring Stefan home. Soon, it'll all be over. She never looks at him, facing the window and keeping her eyes closed to hide the salty tears begging to come out.
She thinks of how much easier this would all be if she would have allowed herself to turn. She wants so badly to be able to turn it off; to pretend nothing is missing and nothing hurts. For this, she thinks, Damon may have been looking out for her best interest, and part of her resents Stefan for not allowing it. She thinks of him, out there uncontrollably reveling in what he never wanted to be. She wonders if he's enjoying it; if there's any part of the person she loved left inside of him. The idea that there may not be is what breaks her heart the most.
"...I have a friend in Toronto who says that there are rumors that they are headed over the border. He's going to keep an eye out for me and the first sign that they are there, I'm gone…" Damon says, emphatically pacing across her room. She rolls over and sits up to face him. He stops mid-sentence in surprise that she's even paying attention.
She pushes the hair matted to her face away and crosses her arms. "And what if he's not there, Damon? How long are you going to follow these hunches before you realize that he's gone forever?" She says, with a bitterness that Damon has never heard from her before.
"He's not gone forever. Don't say that." He says, sitting on the edge of the bed next to her, close enough to see the tear tracks down her face.
"Why not? I don't want to live like this, Damon. I don't want to wait for you to come over everyday and break my heart all over again when it's another dead end. I can't."
"I never said I would find him overnight, Elena…" Damon says, as she scoffs and adjusts in her bed. "But I promised I will find him, and I will. I wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for the choice he made. And if it takes me the rest of my life to find him, then it is what it is." He says, grabbing her hand. She quickly yanks hers away.
"I can't spend the rest of mine that way." She moves to the other side of the bed and gets up, going to her dresser to grab the first clean change of clothes in three days. She walks towards the bathroom, turning before she enters.
"I'm tired, Damon. I didn't think it was possible to be tired after laying in bed for days. My body aches. I feel like my heart is barely beating but it's racing at the same time. Sometimes, I can't even breathe and nothing is getting better. I can't lay around anymore and just wait for something to change. I've never been this girl. I won't be her now." She says, unfolding a towel from its place on the shelf and starting the shower.
"I'm glad you're up." Damon says calmly, standing up and walking towards the bathroom, making sure to stand just far enough away not to intrude. "I don't want you to feel this way anymore, either. And neither would Stefan."
"You have no idea what Stefan would want. All you ever did was disregard what Stefan wanted. And look where he is now. Suffering, again, for you." Elena replies, shutting the door; silently requesting he leave. The words leave a mark, as Damon nods his head in acceptance and begins to leave. He hesitates, standing against the bathroom door, resting his forehead on the center pane.
"I will find him, Elena. I will call you from Toronto." He waits for a response and leaves as he hears the curtain being pulled back as she enters the shower.
On the other side, she lets the warm water run down her face as she leans against the cold tiles. She stays here for a few minutes before slowly washing her hair, letting the sweet smell of shampoo and soap linger – the first comfort she's had in days.
She quickly exits the shower and changes into jeans and a tee-shirt, walking over to the dresser and shoving random clothing into a bag. She'll figure out how it all goes together later. She finishes packing and begins moving toward the door when she stops. She tears a piece of paper out of her journal and leaves a note on her bed for the next visitor who comes. Probably Caroline to come watch Maury on her bed and pretend that Elena was watching too.
Everyone –
The only way I can make this okay is to know that I've done all that I can to bring him back. I love you all. I will check in.
Damon, don't follow me.
Elena