Summary: The mind is a funny thing, losing some memories but keeping others framed in perfect clarity. But the heart never forgets. And true love will always find a way.
A/N: Hello all! This story is based on the movies with a little of the books thrown in for good measure. It takes place after the Voyage of the Dawn Treader. I hope to update at least once a week. Anyway, enjoy!
Disclaimer: To my great disappointment, I cannot claim The Chronicles of Narnia as my own. The series and all the characters therein belong to the amazing C.S. Lewis.
The Heart Holds On
Chapter 1: The Unknown
The dream had been so beautiful.
If only she could remember it. A pair of brown eyes swam before her as she slowly came back to consciousness. She struggled to hang on to that image, to put a face to the eyes, but nothing came to her. It had been a man's face, of that she was certain. But… who?
Her eyes opened for the first time in what felt like months, and at first she was blinded by the bright, morning light streaming through the window. The bed was soft; heavenly soft, and she was content to lie there until the previous day came rushing back to her.
Only, it didn't.
But she was sure she'd done something yesterday, hadn't she? Her mind drew a blank. She gazed around the room, hoping something in it would strike her memory, but nothing did, though it was a beautiful room. Fresh lilies sat on her bedside table and the soft, white curtains billowed in the breeze. There was an old chest in the corner and an armoire on the left wall, but other than that, the room was rather empty, as if no one lived here. Was it a guest bedroom? Had she stayed the night at someone's house?
Hesitantly, she attempted to pull herself up; a feat that required a lot more effort than she thought it should. Her muscles were just so weak and every joint in her body was stiff. She must have slept for hours. Looking down, she noticed she was dressed in a modest, white robe and her brown locks cascaded over her shoulders.
She pulled a strain of her hair around to look at it, trying to remember how she normally styled it, but she couldn't even picture her face… or anything about who she was. Her heart rate sped as she tried to sort through the mystery and she felt a cold sweat bead on the back of her neck.
What had happened to her?
The creaking of the door jolted her from her troubling thoughts and a middle-aged woman in a dark blue, long-sleeved dress strolled in, carrying fresh linens and whistling to herself. But as her eyes landed on the girl in the bed, she let out a shriek of surprise.
"Oh my goodness! You're awake!"
The girl in the bed tilted her head curiously, examining the woman's words. Why shouldn't she be awake? Was she not supposed to be here? After several seconds, the woman's heart seemed to slow down and she smiled warmly at the girl.
"I'm sorry, dear. I didn't mean to frighten you. I'm Anmarie, your nursemaid."
The girl attempted to speak, opening and closing her mouth like a fish at first, and finally managing to let out a raspy squeak.
"Oh, don't try to talk. There'll be plenty of time for that. Why don't I get you some water first… and then maybe a bath?"
The girl just continued to stare, frustrated by her silent mouth. There were so many questions she wanted to ask, but her throat was raw and scratchy. Anmarie returned with a big cup of water and the girl drained it quickly, feeling rejuvenated. She decided to test out her voice again.
"W-w-where ammm… I," she asked.
"Where… You're in Archenland, my lady; in the king's palace. King Gavin himself found you."
"Found… me?"
"Yes. You were just lying in the woods, unconscious. The king's men asked around, but no one seemed to know who you were. Do you remember anything?"
"No. Nothing."
Depression hit the girl hard as she realized how true that statement was. She knew somewhere she should have a family; a mother at least, but no one came to mind. Had she lived in this… Archenland her whole life? She tried to remember being in the woods, but couldn't even call to mind a familiar tree.
"King Gavin will want to speak with you soon. He's been very worried about you, even coming to check on you himself! I'll start your bath so we can make you presentable."
The girl nodded, but as Anmarie rose to leave, she felt another question nagging at the forefront of her mind.
"What happened to me?"
Anmarie turned, a distressing gleam in her eyes.
"No one knows. The king and his men found you almost a month ago. You suffered no injuries that we could see. You would only wake long enough for us to feed you and then… you'd just drift back into unconsciousness. It was a strange condition."
Anmarie gave a timid smile and hurried off to prepare the bath.
CoN
Lucy paced the halls impatiently, waiting for her mother to arrive. Though she hated to leave her cousin, Eustace, behind, she was anxious to see her parents and her sister after so many long months. But they were late; extremely late.
"Would you stop all that pacing? You're making my stomach hurt. Just sit down," Edmund complained from his seat in the wingback chair by the fireplace. Normally, the chair was always occupied by his annoyingly rude Uncle Harold, but he and Aunt Alberta had gone to the library for the day, not even bothering to tell the children goodbye.
"I read a book about people who stress overmuch and it said it brings on premature aging," Eustace spoke up from his place on the sofa.
"Oh please, not the books again," Edmund begged, just the slightest smirk lighting his face.
"There's nothing wrong with my books. I've learned a vast array of knowledge from them. If only I'd been fortunate enough to get my hands on one of the Narnian volumes. I could probably have surpassed even King Caspian's knowledge of his country."
"Yes, I'm sure you would have shamed us all," Edmund mocked, earning himself a pillow in the face.
"Will you two stop it! What if something's wrong," Lucy complained, staring forlornly out the window.
"I'm sure nothing's wrong. They have Su with them, remember? They probably had a hard time loading all those suitcases full of make-up and silly dresses," Edmund teased.
But just as the words left his mouth, a loud whirring sound filled the air. Lucy quickly identified it as the siren of an ambulance and just then, it rushed past the house, heading for the train station.
"Edmund…," Lucy called in a quietly, frightened voice. "You don't think…"
Edmund couldn't respond, but his eyes held a haunted look as he stared out the glass. In a second, he leapt up and rushed to the door, throwing it open and taking off down the street. Lucy was only a half step behind, followed by Eustace. No one bothered to close the door.
The train station was only a few short blocks away and a large crowd parted to allow the ambulance passage. Edmund shoved his way through the onlookers, silently praying that it was a coincidence and his family was somewhere in the crowd, watching like everyone else. He finally broke through the last of the people and saw a yellow taxi on the side of the road. The side had been completely smashed in. Someone close by was sobbing and his heart stopped when he recognized that familiar sound.
"Mom," Lucy called, starting to step past Edmund, not fully realizing the situation. He caught her arm, holding her to his side.
For a second, she wanted to push him off, determined to get to her mom and then… she saw a familiar blue heel lying in the street. She'd been with Susan the day she'd picked them out.
"Oh no… no, no, no," Lucy sobbed. If it hadn't been for Edmund's hold on her, she would have collapsed to the ground.
CoN
The king's chamber was amazing. The chairs were big and luxurious and the paintings had the most brilliant colors. The girl had soaked for a full thirty minutes in the sweet smelling bath water and was now dressed in a pale yellow gown. Her hair had been brushed with pleasant oils and her skin was radiant. She had thought that with her recent brush with death, she'd look a little more… homely. But after looking in the mirror for the first time, she saw a girl full of life. Her blue eyes sparkled and her skin was as smooth and light as ivory.
What could have happened to her to make her forget her entire life?
The doors opened suddenly, startling her from her thoughts and a handsome man with blond hair strode in wearing a green tunic that brought out his emerald green eyes.
"My lady… I'm so glad to see you awake," he announced, moving to take the chair beside her and bringing her hand to his lips for a soft kiss.
It felt like there was something she should be doing – he was royalty after all; wasn't there some form of etiquette she was forgetting? He seemed to notice the lost look about her and gave her a warm smile.
"I know this must be so confusing for you. Your nursemaid told me of your memory loss. I'm sure it will return in time."
"I hope so. I feel like there's this whole life I just… lost."
"We're doing everything we can to find your family, or any indication of where you come from. There was a bracelet on your wrist the day we found you. It had a name inscribed on it… yours, I assume," he explained, holding out a silver chain for her to see.
There, in flowing cursive was the name Susan.
"Susan," she whispered, feeling the unfamiliar word roll off her tongue. Shouldn't this call forth some memory, or even sound… right? But she didn't recognize it at all.
"You look brilliant in that color; like an angel. It has brought me great peace to see you so radiant."
"Um… thank you," she murmured, smiling faintly at him.
"Would you care to take a walk with me? Maybe some fresh air will bring back something," he insisted, rising and offering her his hand, which she took gratefully.
"The land outside looked beautiful from my window. Are the mountains I saw close by?"
"Fairly. They are the barrier between our country and Narnia."
As they spoke, he led her down the corridors of the bright castle, its walls hung with ornate tapestries and paintings of brave men in gleaming armor. Several times she past pictures of a lion, so stunning and magnificent and with a face that displayed authority and honor. As they walked, she replayed the one piece of her life she'd managed to recall… a pair of brown eyes.
They were not her own, which had turned out to be a very light blue, nor were they those of the king next to her. She'd been focused on them since she'd awoken, sure that they were the key to the life she'd lost.
But she was distracted from her thoughts as the doors opened before her revealing the vibrant kingdom before them.
"Oh… this is…," she began, but was at a loss for words.
As she floundered, her gaze returned to King Gavin, who stood staring at her with similar awe.
"Forgive me, but I haven't seen an equal to your beauty in all my kingdom," he whispered, reaching up to catch a stray lock of her hair as it fluttered in the breeze. This simple touch sent flutters through her.
But it felt wrong.
She couldn't fathom why. King Gavin was handsome and a perfect gentleman. Maybe she was already pledged to someone else. If only she could remember. Something was there, buried in her mind and begging to break free, but she just couldn't pull it forth. Her thoughts kept coming back to the eyes…
"Shall I show you the gardens," he asked, and Susan nodded excitedly.
They stepped through the silver gates into the most perfect place she'd seen yet. Roses and lilies surrounded them and leafy green vines climbed the garden walls. Every color of the rainbow was present and the smell was heavenly.
"It's amazing," she acknowledged, leaning in to smell the white roses by her side.
"I am glad to hear it. I know you don't remember, but I have been watching over you since we brought you in, and I spent several sleepless nights praying for your speedy recovery. And now those prayers have been answered. To you it must seem like we just met, but you have been my only thought these many weeks. Seeing your eyes finally open is the greatest miracle I have ever received."
His words caused the butterflies in her stomach to somersault, but there was still something wrong with the feeling. Though she was flattered by his words, it felt as though her heart already belonged to someone else; like she had some long lost love out there waiting on her.
But if that was the case, wouldn't he have come looking for her?
"Thank you… for taking care of me."
"It was my honor."
His gaze locked on hers and his hand reached up briefly to caress her face. There was a passion there she couldn't deny, and part of her wanted to cling to it, to have something in her life.
"There was something I wanted to ask you, if you're feeling well enough. In two days I am leaving for Narnia. The king is getting married and I've been asked to attend. I'd be honored if you would accompany me," he asked, smiling warmly at her.
Susan thought it through, but honestly there was no question. She had no memories and no family. King Gavin and her nursemaid were the only two people she knew; she couldn't bear the thought of being separated from him.
"Of course."
"Thank you. I know you will love Narnia. It is a land even more enchanting than Archenland. And King Caspian is a wonderful king. I'm sure he'll be excited to meet you."
And just like that everything froze.
Susan knew the world around her must still be in motion, but at the sound of his name, even her breathing ceased. Caspian! She couldn't recall a face or even a moment she'd spent with him, but there was such an intense feeling of familiarity that associated with his name that it sent a jolt of surprise through her.
"Susan? Are you alright? Do you want to sit down and rest," King Gavin asked, placing firm hands on her shoulders as she swayed.
"Um… no, I fine. I just… um… I'm fine."
A/N: For anyone who hasn't read the books, Archenland is the kingdom below Narnia and lies in between Narnia and Calormen. For further insight, I highly recommend reading The Horse and His Boy. It's one of my favorites. Please, let me know what you think! Praise and constructive criticism will be greatly appreciated!