Where Did You Learn That?
Humour/ Smut kind of thing. I'm actually glad don't own Glee…..Cause then this would happen…..
Blaine's POV
I was sitting in the doctor's office waiting for my monthly checkup. I was reading Gentleman's Quarter because I was bored. At that moment, when I turned the page, the next article was titled Wanna Try Something New? I read it because I was bored. I started reading and the guy in the article felt that sex became boring with his wife and wanted to try something new (Hence the title). So what he did was he got home from work earlier than his wife, stripped down naked, turned off all the lights and decided to meet her at the door. With a bow and two flashlights. And it worked. Their sex life had never been the same.
"I could do that!" I said. Everyone in the waiting room looked at me.
-Later-
Have you ever read a great book. And then it was made into a movie. And the movie was shit? Here's my movie….
A couple days after I read the article, I was sitting with Kurt watching a movie. When we finished the movie, Kurt wanted to know if I wanted to go with him to take it back to the movie store.
"Nah , I think I'll hang around here."
"Ok. I should be back in 5-10 minutes." Kurt said.
"Cool. Love you. Bye." I replied. He went out the door. I jumped off the couch and ran into my bedroom. I stripped down, grabbed the flashlights, put the bow on and shut the lights off. I thought myself how hard this would be to explain if my parents came back because of an emergency. My only excuse would be
"I needed to wash my clothes." Suddenly, I heard Kurt open the back door. I smiled to myself, thinking Boy, is he gonna love this. My smile faded when I heard the unmistakeable, nasal pitched voice of Rachel Berry. Shit. I ran into the bathroom and hid in the shower.
"Yeah, Finn and I just thought you'd like to double date."
"Sure, just let me get Blaine. Blaine? Blaine? He's got a wax buildup, but it'll be getting flushed out soon." I could hear my cell phone going off, but couldn't nswer.
"Why are all the lights off?" Finn asked.
"I don't know." Kurt said, sounding concerned.
"He probably went out for a walk." Rachel amended. I was sitting in the shower going What the hell is wrong with me?! They were 39 minutes looking for me, when I heard,
"We'll meet you at the restaurant." Finn said.
"I hope he's ok." Kurt said. They left. I heard the bathroom door opened and pulled the curtain back.
"I'm sorry, Kurt."
"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?" Kurt yelled
"I was trying to be sexy."
"IT'S NOT SEXY IT'S JUST CREEPY!"
"Sorry."
"WHERE DID YOU LEARN THIS?"
"Apparently, I didn't learn it otherwise we wouldn't be having this conversation."
"WHERE DID YOU THINK OF THIS?"
"I read it in a magazine."
"I TOLD YOU NOT TO READ THOSE MAGAZINES! GOD FORBID YOU READ TIME'S MAGAZINE OR SOMETHING?"
"I know."
"What's with the bow?"
"I'm supposed to be a present."
"Well you need more wrapping, go get dressed!" I pouted all the way to my room, telling myself I shouldn't try and be sexy anymore.
"Sorry. Again." I called from the bedroom. Suddenly, he came into my room and wrapped his arms around me.
"That's okay. I thought it was sexy, actually." Kurt said. His hand travelled down my stomach until it reached it's destinat
"Fuck Kurt…"I groaned, still gasping for breath. I felt Kurt's smirk on my hip as he licked and sucked his way lazily back up my body. I blinked heavily as Kurt began the process of creating a large hicky on my right collarbone. I pet the top of Kurt's head humming pleasantly, ignoring the chill of the room that seemed to have appeared rather suddenly.
"You look about ready to pass out Love." Kurt teased entertaining himself with one of my nipples. A phone vibrated. Neither me nor Kurt made a move to answer it and it stopped quickly. The other started. I blinked one eye open, glaring at the phone buzzing on the nightstand. It stopped but the other started up again. Kurt chuckled sitting up a bit.
"Answer it; they're just going to keep calling." I groaned but reached over to grab my phone.
"What?" I demanded.
"We're outside." I blinked,
"What?"
"We're outside." Finn repeated.
"Why?" I asked trying to ignore what Kurt was now doing to my thighs, it was rather difficult though and I had a feeling I sounded a little breathless.
"What are you doing?" Finn asked suspiciously. I held the phone away from my mouth biting my lip.
"Er, uh nothing…" I answered when I thought I could manage it, though it didn't really make a difference because I moaned as Kurt swallowed me rather suddenly.
"Oh ew, fuck dude, are you guys having sex?" I couldn't help blushing collapsing back onto the pillows and choking down a groan.
"Er no." I yelped. There was a silence on the other end.
"Why the hell would you answer the phone?" Finn finally asked.
"You kept calling!" I burst "I mean we weren't…er aren't…" I stammered between gasps. It wasn't exactly a lie, I might be halfway down Kurt's throat but that didn't really count as actual sex.
"Should we just meet you at the restaurant?" Finn asked sounding desperate to get of the phone.
"Er, yeah." I managed before hanging up, I had totally forgotten about dinner. Kurt smiled before releasing me.
"Get dressed." He said.