There are a handful of moments in life where time stops. Sometimes it's the moment immediately following a difficult question and you're left biting your lip in anticipation of an answer that may destroy you. Sometimes it's the moment someone in green scrubs and a surgical cap shakes their head apologetically and tells you that they did everything they could.
For Jounouchi, one of these moments follows a card game.
Red Eyes is down. The chain cuffed to his wrist softly clinks in the cool breeze. The salt from the water permeates the air and fills his lungs with each anxious breath. Of course, all of these are knocked to the periphery while Jounouchi is faced with the horrifying sight of his best friend laying face down on the dock and not moving. The key to his friend's survival is in an open box right in front of him, and he is not moving.
There's no decision to be made. He has to save Yuugi. He can't —after what just happened—there's just no way he could ever, would ever, let Yuugi die. After discarding his duel disk and Yuugi's puzzle, Jounouchi grabs the chain and leaps.
It's that moment, two seconds before the anchor would drag them down to the bottom of the ocean that the countdown stops. It's just Jounouchi. Just him, swinging through the air towards that open box, one thought filling him with determination as the wind whistles and whips against his skin. He may be dragged to the bottom of the ocean, but he's make damn sure Yuugi would survive. He owed him at least that much.
It takes an eternity, but finally it happens.
Boom! Crash! Splash!
There's a jolt of pain as the chain yanks him back, and Jounouchi is plunging toward the bottom of a cold, unforgiving ocean. Even as he sinks, a dread colder than the glacial water that envelops his body and sharper than the salt that stings his eyes creeps upon him. He is sinking and terrified that he was about to die, but more than that, he never got either key.
He never got the keys, and Yuugi is there with him, bubbles surging from his open mouth while whatever sound he's making is absorbed by the sadistic water. He's losing air and a blind panic constricts Jounouchi's chest.
They are going to die here, Yuugi is going to die here, and it's all Jounouchi's fault.
The anchor hits the sandy bank below and they stop their descent. They're suspended now in the eerie green quiet with the metal cuffs biting cruelly into their wrists. Bubbles tickle skin as they race toward a surface Jounouchi may never see again while hair billows out in all directions.
He looks over at Yuugi and his heart aches at the pain his sees lining his face as he struggles not to breathe in water. Resolve settling, Jounouchi knows what he has to do.
He maneuvers closer, no easy feat upside-down, and takes Yuugi's head in his free hand. Yuugi's eyelids flutter at the contact and his listless gaze rises to meet Jounouchi's eyes.
Taking a moment to steel himself, Jounouchi closes his eyes and the distance between them. He may not have enough air in his lungs to stay down there long, but he hopes it will be enough to keep Yuugi alive until help comes. It has to be enough.
Just as their lips make soft, fleeting contact, something comes between them. Jounouchi's eyes open to find Yuugi's trembling hand covering his mouth and gently pushing him back. Alarm stabs Jounouchi as he lets go of Yuugi's head to free his mouth, only for Yuugi to intercept by lacing his fingers through Jounouchi's. With sad eyes, Yuugi shakes his head.
There's a crash from above, but Jounouchi can't tear his eyes away from Yuugi's. Doesn't he realize that Jounouchi's trying to save him? Does he want Jounouchi to watch him die?
There's a shot of black that shocks Jounouchi enough that he shouts. When he closes his mouth, cursing at his momentary lapse as the escaped air rushes to the surface in wobbling bubbles, he's surprised to notice the thing that had startled him was Mokuba. His long hair swirls around him as he grabs Yuugi's cuffed wrist and inserts the key into the lock.
If he could have afforded the loss of air, Jounouchi would have sighed in relief. In a few moments, Yuugi will be at the surface. He'll be safe… and Jounouchi will still be down here.
Crap, Jounouchi is going to die.
His lungs suddenly decide to remind him just how much he needs air and he needs to get to the surface now. He tries pulling his hand through the cuff, but it's no use. The cuff is just too tight and Jounouchi is running out of time.
Jounouchi looks up as if, just by hoping hard enough, he'd be gifted with his own key for survival. Oddly enough, that's when he sees the small key sinking down toward him.
~oOo~
Jounouchi bursts from the water and gasps a greedy lungful of air. Lightheaded and blinking away the stars that cloud his vision, he focuses on breathing. For a moment there he hadn't thought he was going to make it, but here he is. He's alive. For this one, great moment, he's alive!
"Seto!" he hears Mokuba shout. "Big brother, help!"
Jounouchi looks over and feels like he's been dragged into the ocean a second time. Mokuba is pulling himself onto the dock while Kaiba has his hands under Yuugi's arms and drags his unresponsive body out of the water. Kaiba has Yuugi laid out flat on his back by the time Jounouchi makes it to the edge.
"How is he?" Jounouchi pulls himself out of the water, clothes clinging uncomfortably to his body, and crouches down beside them. Kaiba ignores him and leans forward so his ear is by Yuugi's mouth while his eyes are trained on his chest.
"I-I—" Mokuba gapes, and Jounouchi turns his attention to him. "We were almost to the top when he started coughing. I couldn't stop it, and I almost dropped him, but then he—he just went still." Mokuba meets Jounouchi's gaze with over-earnest eyes, like he's expecting Jounouchi to scream at him. "I didn't know what to do."
Kaiba curses under his breath, earning back Jounouchi's attention, a strange expression on his otherwise annoying rich boy face.
"He's not breathing."
No, Jounouchi's heart drops as his gaze falls back down to Yuugi's still form. No, this—this is all my — urgh, dammit, Dammit, DAMMIT!
"Move over," Kaiba demands as he repositions Yuugi's head. "I need space."
"But I—"
"I'm going to take a guess and say that you don't know how to properly perform CPR," Kaiba voice oozes condescension. "So step back and let me handle this. Unless you want to finish the job, puppet boy."
That cuts Jounouchi deep, but for all it hurts, Jounouchi does what Kaiba says willingly and gets to his feet. As Kaiba begins mouth-to-mouth resuscitation – no, no, no, no, this isn't happening, no – Jounouchi looks away. He's going to be sick.
"Guys?"
Jounouchi looks over his shoulder and sees Anzu running toward them. Had she been there the whole time? She stops short of them, eyes darting from person to person, before finally resting on Jounouchi.
"What—" her voice is trembling. "What the hell happened? I don't—when—how did this happen?"
Jounouchi's hands ball into fists at his sides. He has to tell her. Only a coward would try to hide it, and if he were any sort of man, he'd admit to what he'd done.
"I…" his voice gets stuck.
"Marik forced him and Yuugi into a duel," Mokuba cuts in. He explains what happened and Jounouchi looks back at Yuugi, wincing at the way his limp body jerks when Kaiba switches to chest compressions that look far too aggressive than they should. Jounouchi's fingers itch to do something. Anything.
God, why am I so useless?
Jounouchi tears his eyes away from the sickening sight and notices the puzzle glinting in the sunlight. That gives him a thought. The Other Yuugi. Maybe… it's worth a shot.
"Jounouchi!" Anzu calls after him, but he doesn't stop.
Jounouchi's steps are thunderous against the creaking wood, and he nearly topples off the dock as he rounds the first corner in his haste. He runs, rounds the second corner, zeroing in on the gold puzzle. There's an energy about it, like it's awake and urging Jounouchi to move faster.
Well, Jounouchi isn't going to disappoint. He doesn't bother stopping as he grabs the chain and races around the other side of the dock, completing the lap with Yuugi as the finish line. Jounouchi drops to his knees beside him, gritting teeth against the pain, and shoves the puzzle into Yuugi's hand.
It happens so fast that Jounouchi completely misses the when of it happening. Whether it's the moment before the puzzle makes contact or the instant gold meets skin, Yuugi coughs up water like a sputtering fountain.
"Yuugi!" Jounouchi gasps.
"Move back," Kaiba snaps as he rolls Yuugi, still expelling water, onto his side. Once again, Jounouchi does what he says, though now it's harder to keep his cool now that he can see signs of life in his friend. "I know you're not the brightest crayon in the box, but I don't want to have to keep telling you to keep your distance."
Yuugi stops coughing so aggressively and he's gasping for air, but Jounouchi can't help feel a spark of joy amongst all the other emotions roiling under the surface of his skin. He's alive. He's alive.
Kaiba, Jounouchi thinks without a hint of irony, Thank you for saving my best friend. I owe you so much.
"Is he going to be alright?" Anzu asks as she kneels down. Her hand is hovering outstretched, like she wants to touch Yuugi but she's afraid to do so.
"He will if I have anything to say about it," Kaiba smirks. "He owes me a rematch, after all."
Never mind, Kaiba is still a dick. Jounouchi has free reign to continue hating him forever.
"We need to get him to the helicopter," Kaiba stands up and steps over Yuugi's shaking body, shooting Jounouchi a superior look in the process. "Make yourself useful and carry him over."
"Shut the hell up!" Jounouchi snaps. "Don't take advantage of the situation to boss me around."
"Just do it, loser."
Jounouchi clenches his fist and takes a deep breath as Kaiba continues walking toward the yard with Mokuba following close behind. With the intake of breath comes calm, and with its release comes control. He has more important things to worry about than a bruised ego.
He slides his arms under Yuugi and lifts him up, but despite how much care he uses, he jostles Yuugi quite a bit. Even so, Yuugi keeps a firm grasp on the puzzle, now cradled to his chest. Jounouchi has a fleeting flashback to carrying Yuugi out of that fire, and his guts twist at the idea that this is becoming a trend.
"I guess we just follow Kaiba to the helicopter," Anzu picks up Yuugi's discarded belt and duel disk.
"Katsuya!"
That voice… Shizuka. Jounouchi turns toward the sound and sees his sister, a smile on her face and bandages over her eyes. She's in front of a red car he's never seen before with Mai, Otogi, and Honda.
She tries to run toward him only to be stopped by Mai's hand on her shoulder. Mai whispers something into Shizuka's ear, her wide eyes never leaving Jounouchi as she does so. He doesn't know what she says, but it must scare his sister.
"Katsuya!" Shizuka shouts. "Are you okay? What happened?"
"Shizuka…" Jounouchi says, unable to do more than stare at her. He has to leave, but his sister is there, but he has to leave. "I—"
"Go," Anzu says as she nudges him in the direction Kaiba went. "Get him to a hospital. I'll explain as best I can, and we'll follow you from the ground."
"But I—"
"Don't worry," Anzu says, eyes soft. "I'll take care of your sister, you just take care of Yuugi."
"… Okay," Jounouchi nods, his grasp on Yuugi's body tightening, and takes off running. It hurts to turn his back on his sister, especially after all he'd faced in his fight for her, but he trusts Anzu to take care of her. Besides, it wasn't as if he deserves to see Shizuka right now.
Jounouchi speeds away from the car and around the ship to see there is in fact a helicopter waiting for them. Once they're in sight, the helicopter blades start whirling and the second they board they begin their ascent.
"Just hang in there," Jounocuhi says as he sits down and props Yuugi up next to him. He double checks to make sure the puzzle wasn't lost in transit and is relieved when he sees it still firmly in Yuugi's grip. "We're gonna get you help."
He's so distracted by making sure that Yuugi's okay that he doesn't realize that they're going in the wrong direction until they're already a good distance from the closest hospital.
"What the hell, Kaiba?" he demands. "Where are we going?"
"Where else?" Kaiba says from where he's leaning back casually in his seat. Sometime before Jounouchi boarded, he had taken off his stupid white coat and gave it to a shivering Mokuba, who now sits wrapped up in a coat so oversized he looks lost in the fabric. "We're going to the location of the Battle City Finals."
"What!?" Jounouchi yells. "Are you out of your fucking mind? We need to get him to a hospital."
"Do we?"
"Look at him!" Jounouchi gestures angrily at Yuugi. "Does he look well enough to compete in your tournament?"
"We can hardly have a proper rematch in a hospital room," Kaiba shrugs, a small smile playing at his lips. "Besides, I have every confidence in my doctors."
"Your doctors?" Jounouchi feels like he missed a huge chunk of their conversation.
"After what happened at the last tournament, it just made sense to have a team of doctors on hand," Mokuba elaborates.
"You don't really think I would bring Yuugi to the tournament without making sure he'd be well enough to duel, do you?" Kaiba condescends. "It would cheapen the victory if Yuugi isn't at his full health for our duel.
Jounouchi clenches his fist.
"Is that really all you care about?" Jounouchi demands. "Are you really so much of a selfish prick that Yuugi's health means nothing to you unless you're dueling? He sticks his neck out for you again and again, he even calls you his friend, and this is how you repay him? What the hell is wrong with you?"
"Are you sure it's me you're speaking to," Kaiba drawls as he looks out the window. "I am the one who revived him, after all."
"Of course I'm talking to you," Jounouchi snaps. "Who else would I be—"
"Jou…"
The sound is so soft that Jounouchi almost misses it at first, but once he recognizes it, he looks down at Yuugi and something in his chest stings.
Yuugi's breaths have calmed down from the desperate gasps they had been at the pier, but they're still a far cry from what Jounouchi would consider a normal breathing pattern. His eyelids flutter but that's about as close to consciousness as he seems able because his body slides to the side so his head comes to rest on Jounouchi's arm.
"Jounouchi-kun…"
Jounouchi adjusts their position so that his arm is wrapped protectively around Yuugi's icy shoulders. Jounouchi he curses the fact that he left Yuugi's warm, dry jacket at the pier.
Just another way he came up short today.
~oOo~
Jounouchi stalks the hall outside the sick bay like a tiger stalks a cage. The doctors had shooed him out with the promise that they'd let him in once they had assessed Yuugi's condition, but they seem to be taking forever. It's enough to drive a man insane.
He take a moment to pause and stare into the engraved eye on the puzzle. They were going to do X-rays of Yuugi's chest and asked Jounouchi to leave it on the side table for safety. He hadn't wanted to leave there when Yuugi wouldn't be awake enough to protect it, but now that it's in his hands Jounouchi isn't really sure what to do with it. Just holding it feels wrong, but he can't wear it either because that just seems even worse somehow. He goes back to pacing.
"Jounouchi!"
He stops in his tracks and turns toward the sound and sees Anzu rushing down the hall, a duel disk and jacket held close to her chest with one arm. With her other hand, she leads Shizuka, who is also carrying a duel disk, toward him.
"How's Yuugi?" Anzu asks when they come to a stop beside him. "Is he okay?"
"I don't know," Jounouchi says bitterly and some of Shizuka's tension leaves as Anzu's grows. "They said the room's too small for me to be there while they do their tests. Where's everyone else?"
"Last we saw them, they were arguing with Kaiba's cronies," Anzu nods back the way they came. "We only got by because we had to bring the finalists their decks… and Honda distracted them long enough for us to get past. Besides, I wanted you to know I kept my promise."
Jounouchi forces a thankful smile an turns to his sister. "Hey, Shizuka."
"Katsuya," Shizuka grins sadly. "I'd say it's good to see you, but…"
"It's good to see you too, sis. I'm sorry I wasn't able to meet you back then."
"Don't worry about me," Shizuka says, her young face lined with concern behind her bandages. "It's you I'm worried about. Anzu told me what happened—"
"She did, did she?" Jounouchi casts a glance at Anzu, who at least has the sense to look sheepish.
"Yea, she did," Shizuka's voice catches. "Please, Katsuya, I need to know that you're okay."
"I'm…" Jounouchi tries for words, but nothing is coming to him. He'll just wing it. "I'm okay, really. I mean, I'm not hurt or anything."
"But there's something," Shizuka urges. "Something you're not telling me."
Jounouchi stares into the eye of the puzzle again, unable to face his sister.
"I'm sorry Shizuka," he says. "I'm not the brother you deserve. All the things I did—the way I hurt my best friend— I don't have the right to call myself a duelist with all this ugliness in my heart. You need strength and courage, but I have none to give you. I'm nothing more than a common coward."
"Stop that!" Anzu says and her slap is as painful as it is sudden. "Don't talk that way about yourself in front of your sister. You can't have helped being controlled by Marik any more than I could. I know you're worried, but Yuugi will be just fine. He always is. So stop feeling sorry for yourself and be there for your sister!"
"Anzu—"
"Are you forgetting everything you went through for her? Don't you remember how hard you fought for her? How can you just throw that all away—"
"I'm not throwing it away!" Jounouchi snaps. "God, that's not what this is at all!"
"Then what is this?" Anzu demands. "Enlighten me."
"This—" Jounouchi finds he doesn't have an answer. "I just—"
"Katsuya."
Jounouchi looks up at his sister's voice. There's a small, strange smile on her face as she holds the duel disk in her hands out toward him. When Jounouchi doesn't take it, she pushes it into his chest.
"Take it," Shizuka says. "It's yours."
When Jounouchi still doesn't take it, she reaches out and grabs his arm. Before she can fiddle around blindly to put it on, he takes it from her and does it himself. It's a little awkward while still holding the puzzle, but once the latch clicks, Shizuka's smile grows a little.
"I don't know much about any of this. A lot of it is a little too fantastic to believe, but there's one thing I do know. I know that my big brother is a strong person, a courageous person, but most of all, my big brother is a good person."
"Don't—"
"I just spent all day with your friends," Shizuka says. "Do you know what we did the whole time? We talked about you. Your courage. Your determination. Everything that you are. These people know you better than anyone and all they had to say was good. You're a good person, no matter what that man made you do.
"But if you can't see that," Shizuka reaches up to untie her bandages, "then I'll just have to give see it for you."
Something in Jounouchi's heart jolts. "Shizuka, what—"
"You've been so strong for me," the bandages fall around her shoulders to reveal Shizuka's closed eyes. "You gave me the courage to face this operation. I wouldn't be where I am today without you. Now it's my turn to return the favour."
Shizuka takes a nervous breath and opens her eyes. It must be difficult for her because she blinks hard and squints at him. When a tear starts running down Shizuka's cheek, Jounouchi drowns in the fear that everything they'd worked for had been for nothing.
Then her smile lights up her entire face.
"Katsuya," Shizuka throws her arms around Jounouchi's torso in a surprising tight embrace that Jounouchi is more than eager to return. "I was terrified the operation would fail, but now I'm so happy. You've done so much for me and made me strong enough to face my fears."
"Big brother," Shizuka continues, "I've found you."
He lets Shizuka decide when to separate, and after a while, she squeezes him once more and lets go. She's still smiling up at him and he finds himself returning it.
The door to the sick bay opens and Jounouchi snaps back to the situation at hand.
"How is he?" Jounouchi asks, trying to see around the doctor who opened the door but only able to see the foot of the bed Yuugi should be in.
"Our initial assessments are very good," the doctor assures with a smile, and tension leaves Jounouchi's body in a huff of air. "He woke up shortly after we had taken his vitals, and the results of our tests suggest the risk of any lasting brain damage is minimal to nonexistent."
Jounouchi feels like the world disappeared under his feet. No brain damage is good. That's a good thing. So why does it still grate against his nerves and make him want to throw up? He hadn't considered brain damage to be a possibility, and to hear it in any relation to Yuugi… god, he's such an idiot.
"We're still waiting on the results of the blood test so we'll have to keep him on oxygen until we're sure he can be safely taken off, but so far everything else checks out. We'll have to keep him under observation to ensure that no complications arise, however I feel confident in saying that we expect your friend to make a full recovery. He's a very lucky young man."
God, Jounouchi may actually throw up now. What the hell is wrong with him?
"He's been asking for you, if you want to see him," the doctor steps aside but Jounouchi had already started rushing into the room the moment he knew Yuugi had been asking for him. When he sees Yuugi though, he stops short.
Yuugi looks perfectly fine. He's sitting upright, clad in an oversized tee-shirt and pajama bottoms. He must have been watching the door and when he sees Jounouchi, he smiles one of those too big for his face smiles from behind his oxygen mask.
"Jounouchi-kun," Yuugi's voice is a bit muffled. "You're okay!"
Jounouchi is relieved, of course he is. His friend is okay and the joy he felt at the pier when life returned to Yuugi's body sings and soars in his chest. Still, some part of him is paralyzed. His friend is okay, and Jounouchi is still terrified.
"Yuugi!" Anzu says as she comes up beside Jounouchi. He hears the sick bay doors slide shut behind them. "Thank goodness. We were so worried about you."
Yuugi chuckles, fogging up the mask a little, then rubs his neck in that self-conscious way he sometimes does. "Yea, I guess it must have been scary. Sorry for putting you through that."
"You shouldn't be sorry," Jounouchi says and winces at how angry he'd sounded. He tries for softer this time. "It's not your fault."
"Oh," Yuugi's voice is unsure, like he wasn't expecting Jounouchi's answer and isn't sure how to respond, and an awkward silences descends.
"Are you okay?" Anzu says hurriedly and sets the duel disk and jacket on the bed before pressing a hand to Yuugi's forehead. "Can I get you anything?"
"I'm fine Anzu," Yuugi says.
"Are you sure?" Anzu says as she takes her hand away. "I could go find more pillows, something to eat, some water—"
Anzu puts a hand to her mouth and watches Yuugi. She looks like she's unsure as to whether or not she should apologize, when Yuugi starts laughing harder than Jounouchi thinks he should given his condition. Soon Anzu and Shizuka join him and Jounouchi feel like he's the only sane one in the room. The laughter dies down when Yuugi's laughter gives way to a coughing fit.
"I'm so sorry," Anzu says sheepishly. "That was—"
"It's okay," Yuugi assures her as his coughs subside. "It was worth it."
"Well it's nice to see that your good spirits are intact," Anzu says, and Jounouchi suddenly remembers he's holding the puzzle. He clears his throat and hands it to Yuugi.
"I think you'll be needing this."
"Thank you," Yuugi smiles gratefully as he takes the puzzle and starts to removes his oxygen mask. "I knew you'd keep it safe for me."
"What are you doing!?" Jounouchi springs forward and pushes the mask back to Yuugi's face. "You need that!"
Yuugi blinks up at Jounouchi it surprise and Jounouchi fears he may have overreacted. Yuugi's surprise gives way to understanding and he takes Jounouchi's wrist and pulls it and the mask away from his face. It felt sickeningly familiar somehow.
"It'll only be off for a minute," Yuugi says and drapes the chain of the puzzle around his neck. Once the puzzle settles, Yuugi takes the mask back and straps it back onto his face. He looks up at Jounouchi and asks, "Better?"
"Yea," Jounouchi nods, feeling hollow. "Much better."
"Are you okay?" Yuugi asks, his large eyes sharp with concern. It makes Jounouchi hate himself a little more.
"Yea, I'm fine," Jounouchi responds. "I'm sorry."
"That's okay," Yuugi says. "I get why you want me to keep the mask on."
"That's not it," Jounouchi says and mentally curses. "Well, that's part of it, but it's not everything. Yuugi, I—"
The doors behind them slide open again and they turn to see Honda, Otogi, Mai, and Bakura (wait, Bakura? What the hell is he doing here, hadn't he been hurt?) rush into the room.
"Yuugi!" Honda cries. "Oh man, it's so good to see you. When we saw Jounouchi carry you to the helicopter, we thought you were a goner!"
"Nope, not gone," Yuugi says with a smile and glances back at Jounouchi. "I'm here, safe and sound."
"Good," Honda says. "I don't know what we'd do if you—Shizuka! Your eyes!"
"What?" Shizuka blinks in surprise. "What about them?"
"They're beautiful," Honda and Otogi say in unison.
Before Jounouchi can think of clobbering that two for ogling his sister, and before they can think of clobbering each other based on they way they're glaring, Yuugi speaks up again.
"Shizuka… you're Jounouchi-kun's sister!"
Shizuka laughs and bows her head. "I am. It's nice to meet you, Yuugi."
Yuugi returns the bow. "It's nice to meet you too. Jounouchi's told us so much about you."
"Good things?" Shizuka jokes.
"Of course!" Yuugi says emphatically. "Jounouchi fought so hard for you in Duelist Kingdom. You mean so much to him, and- Jounouchi where are you going?"
Jounouchi stops at the door. He hates feeling like he's running away, but he just can't be in this room any longer. It's too… normal. He hates how they're all acting like nothing happened when there's an oxygen mask on Yuugi's face and a would be murderer in the room.
Everyone's staring at him now, and he can't be there anymore.
"I'll be back soon," he finally says. "I just—I have some things I need to do."
He doesn't wait for a response before he stalks off down the hall.
~oOo~
It an unprecedented turn of events, Kaiba had announced that the tournament finals would be delayed twenty-four hours due to technical difficulties in getting the blimp off the ground. Jounouchi suspects that reason is full of crap given everything he knows about Kaiba, but he isn't about to shake his head at a good thing. The extra time benefits everyone, most of all, Yuugi.
Jounouchi tries to remember this delay is a good thing as he's walking down the halls of the blimp hours later when the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end and he's checking around every corner for that psychopath, Marik. Sharing a blimp with that guy makes Jounouchi's blood boil. After all the things that prick has done—made Jounouchi do—he should have been disqualified on principle. He takes a moment to be grateful that his friends were protecting Shizuka.
Well, he thinks, stopping outside of Yuugi's assigned room, not all my friends. He takes a deep breath and knocks on the door.
There's the sound of soft footsteps from inside the room and the door opens to reveal Yuugi.
"Jounouchi-kun!" he says in surprise and steps aside for Jounouchi to enter. "Is everything okay? You never came back to the sick bay and no one was sure where you went."
"I'm sorry," Jounouchi steps into the room, feeling out of place as the door slides closed behind him. "I didn't mean to make you worry. I just—I needed some air. I'm okay."
"You're not okay!" Yuugi insists and the desperation in his voice makes Jounouchi feel like he's drowning again. "You've been acting really weird ever since we got here and of course I'm going to worry about it. If there's anything I can do, please—"
"You were going to die," Jounouchi snaps before he can stop himself. All his guilt, all his self-loathing and anger squash down his carefully prepared apology. Yuugi is taken aback, but now that the words are out, they won't stop. Fuck. "You were going to die back there, don't you understand that?"
"I-I—" Yuugi stammers.
"You were going to drown and it as all my fault because I couldn't keep that asshole out of my head—"
"Jounouchi—"
"And by the time I was able to break his control, it was already too late. I tried to save you but I wasn't fast enough—"
"Jounouchi—"
"I almost cost you your life! You said you l-loved me and there was nothing I could do to help you because you were going to let me watch you die rather than take my air and for a while you weren't breathing and I had to let you be saved by Kaiba—"
"Jounouchi-kun, STOP!"
Jounouchi stops and looks over to see Yuugi has his eyes screwed shut and tears streaming down his face. Shit. Shit. This is not at all what Jounouchi had wanted.
"Yuugi, I—" Jounouchi tries softer this time. "I'm sorry."
"Please. Don't apologize," Yuugi says, his hands balled into fists at his sides. It's only when the silence floods the room that Jounouchi realizes how loud they had been. With just the two of them in silences, pain in Yuugi's face again, Jounouchi feels his heart break all over again.
"You didn't do anything wrong," Yuugi opens his eyes and meets Jounouchi's gaze. "Marik is the one who forced us to duel. He's the one who made you do all those things, but you broke through! You fought for our friendship and in the end you beat him."
"Not soon enough," Jounouchi says. "If I had been a little stronger, if I'd had a little longer I could have saved you properly."
"You have saved me!" Yuugi sounds exasperated. "Think of everything we've been through together. I wouldn't be here now if it weren't for you."
"Have you not been paying attention? I almost killed you today."
"Marik almost killed me," Yuugi insists, taking a moment to wipe his tears on his sleeve. "He attacked your mind, but you broke through. That's what saved us both!"
Jounouchi laughs darkly and shakes his head.
"What if it was me?" Yuugi asks.
That gives Jounouchi pause. "What do you mean?"
"What if Marik had controlled me?" Yuugi says. "Would you have blamed me if he forced us into a duel but I was the one he was controlling?"
"That would never happen," Jounouchi shakes his head. "You would never let Marik get away with that."
"How do you know?"
"Because…" Jounouchi find the end of the sentence impossible to find. "Because you're too good for that. Even if Marik got into your head, he wouldn't be able to make you do the things I've done. He could never make you hurt me because he could never change your heart so much."
Yuugi is quiet a moment and his brow is drawn together like he's trying to solve a particularly difficult equation. When he stumbles upon an answer, a stricken expression crosses his face. "You… you think I value our friendship more?"
Fuck.
"No! God, shit, that's not it at all," Jounouchi runs a hand through his hair. "Our friendship is one of the most important things in the world to me. I–" Jounouchi takes a deep breath "–I love you too, Yuugi, and I don't want you to ever question that."
"Oh," Yuugi says, his suddenly surprised face turning oddly pink. "Okay."
"It's just…" Jounouchi casts about for that apology. "I know that Marik was the one in control, but it's my body. He used my body to hurt you, and that scares me. Shit, it scares me more than I could have ever imagined. You're one of the best things to ever happen to me and I nearly lost you. It makes me feel like more of a failure than I have in years, and the worst thing is that he's here on this blimp with us. It could happen again."
Yuugi's arms are around Jounouchi's torso so fast that Jounouchi has to forcibly suppress his fight or flight response. There's a beat where it's just Yuugi holding him in an embrace so tight Jounouchi swears he can feel Yuugi's heartbeat around the puzzle's chain and through their clothes. He's glad that the puzzle itself had swung to the side.
Slowly, Jounouchi wraps his arms around Yuugi and returns the embrace. They stand like that for a long time. It's almost surreal how real it is, how reassuring. They're here, together, and they're safe.
"You're good, too," Yuugi's voice is soft. "I know your heart. Whether you believe it or not, I know for a fact that you're good. You've proved it over and over again.
"I can't promise Marik won't try something like that again," Yuugi says and Jounouchi's arms tighten their hold. "But you fought him and won once, I know you can do it again. You're strong Jounouchi, and no matter how the deck is stacked, I know you will fight your hardest. Our friendship is one of the most important things in the world to me, too." Yuugi pulls back enough to look Jounouchi in the eyes.
"I trust you with my life, Jounouchi," Yuugi's voice is so earnest and his gaze so genuine that Jounouchi can't help but believe him. "It'll be hard to face what lies ahead, but remember that we're not doing this alone. We're part of a team, and as long as we stay strong and fight for each other, we can overcome anything Marik throws our way."
His tone makes something in Jounouchi crack and he smiles. Suddenly, Jounouchi can breathe again.
"Thank you," he says, unsure what he did to deserve Yuugi's friendship. Yuugi answers him with a smile, but Jounouchi needs him to know. "I mean it, thank you. You… you make me want to be a better person."
Yuugi smiles up at him and disentangles himself from Jounouchi's grip. Jounouchi lets go. Now that they're separated, Jounouchi misses how solid Yuugi had felt in his arms. The warmth that lifted him had dissipated into awkwardness. What now?
"All this life and death stuff, it kinda sucks that we can't just be sixteen, huh?" Jounouchi says as he shoves his hands into his jacket pockets.
Yuugi laughs humorlessly and stares down at his feet. "Yea, I guess it does."
Jounouchi nods and looks back toward the door. "Well, I should probably get back. They'll be wondering where I got off to."
"Yea," Yuugi says without looking up. Jounouchi is almost to the door when Yuugi speaks up again. "Unless you want to stay."
"Stay?" Jounouchi turns around and meets Yuugi's gaze again. There's a moment where Yuugi tilts his head, as he usually does when he's listening to the spirit of the puzzle, and he turns a startling shade of red.
"What I mean is, we can just hang out. Maybe play a couple rounds of Duel Monsters? No Marik, no holograms. We can just be sixteen."
"Yeah," Jounouchi feels like his smile is taking up his entire face. "Let's go be sixteen."
~oOo~
Jounouchi hasn't checked the time, but he suspects it's well past three in the morning. They'd played a few games, a couple of which Jounouchi almost won, but this was likely to be the last round of the night. He can barely keep his eyes open as he looks at the cards in his hand.
"That's it, I'm out," Jounouchi says with a yawn as he lets the cards fall onto his crossed legs and the bed below. "I think sleep wins this round."
He looks across the bed to see Yuugi curled over, fast asleep, on the pillow on the opposite end of the bed. Jounouchi smiles.
"Seems like sleep beat you this time too."
Jounouchi swings his legs over the side of the bed and stretches his arms over his head. When he's satisfied, he stands up and carefully takes off Yuugi's shoes and maneuvers him into a more comfortable position on top of the covers. Confident that Yuugi won't wake up with a sore neck, Jounouchi heads for the door.
Something stops him. He looks back and sees that Yuugi, still deeply asleep, has Jounouchi's wrist gripped tightly in his hand. Jounouchi smiles and gently tries prying Yuugi's fingers open enough for him to make his exit.
"Come on," Jounouchi urges softly. "You can't want to me stay here all night, can you?"
Much like they had been every time Yuugi held the puzzle in crisis, Yuugi's fingers wouldn't budge. Jounouchi looks at his wrist, then to Yuugi, and back to his wrist. What should he do now?
"You really want me to stay, don't you?" After a moment of consideration, he huffs and gives up his attempts to escape Yuugi's clutches.
"Fine then," Jounouchi says, toes off his own shoes and climbs into bed next to Yuugi, careful not to disturb the mattress too much. "Probably not a good idea to leave you alone, anyway."
He settles down and closes his eyes. The bed is soft, softer than his bed at home and a lot less creaky. The air is cool against his skin, but not so cold that he wishes for the protection of the petal-soft blankets below. His position is a bit awkward since Yuugi's grip on his wrist means he has to lie with his arm wrapped around Yuugi. Even so, he can't find it himself to feel embarrassed by this level of intimacy. Quite the opposite.
With a yawn, he prepares for a well-deserved rest.
After what feels like hours later, despite how deeply he breathes, how heavy his eyelids are, or how much his body craves it, sleep eludes him. He shifts his body a bit, adjusts where his head rests on the edge of the pillow, and sighs. In the end, he opens his eyes and resigns himself to a long, sleepless night.
With not much else to do, Jounouchi just watches Yuugi breathing. It's so strange to think that just a few hours ago, Jounouchi had been scared that Yuugi would never do that again. Yet, here he is breathing as if it isn't the most amazing thing in the world. Far away from countdowns and murderous manipulators, Jounouchi finds he could lie there for hours, just watching the rise and fall of Yuugi's chest. A long night suddenly doesn't seem so bad.
There are a handful of moments in life where time stops. Sometimes it's the moment your lips meet you're the love of your life's for the first time. Sometimes it's the moment of pure bliss that comes with singing at the top of your lungs around a campfire with friends on a cool summer night.
For Jounouchi, one of these moments follows a card game.