Short
Written for The Houses Competition, Year Two, Round Nine

House: Hufflepuff

Year: 5th

Category: Short

Prompts:[Speech] "You were the one with noodles in your hair."

Word Count (Google Docs): 703

Betas: Jetainia, Aya

Title: Baby Talk

Summary: Victoire and Teddy's children wordlessly plot against each other while their parents endure sleepless nights and dirty nappies.


"Mummy likes you best!"

"No, I don't think so. Look at the way she puts all those shiny things in your hair and gives you the sweet smelling bubble bath. All I get is rosemary and lemon stuff. And that powder for my bum. What is that even supposed to do, anyway?"

"It's supposed to keep you from turning colors. Don't you pay attention? When your bum goes pink, they put on the white stuff to make it the right color again. If they don't, your whole body will turn pink. Haha, that would be funny, wouldn't it? A big pink nose and pink ears and a huge pink forehead. Then we could call you Pink Petra. Hahaha!"

"That's not fair, Clarise, you can't call me names!''

"Oh yeah? Watch me. Pink Petra! Pink Petra!"

"Mmmmuuuuummmmaaaaaaaaa!"

Victoire Lupin came running over to the bassinet that held her two precious bundles of joy. One was currently screaming his little head off, and turning a bright shade of red in the process.

"Come here, my little tomato child," she said soothingly as she scooped him up from the bassinet he shared with his twin sister. After four months, she thought she'd have gotten the hang of taking care of twin babies, but even now, she was counting down the hours until her husband got home.

"Darn, and it's only half past ten!" she muttered under her breath. She rocked the crying infant some more, marveling at how content and smiley her other one was, cooing and gurgling. Then she put him in the baby swing and flicked her wand at it to start it up. "That's my boy," she said. "Now get some rest while Mummy sits in this chair and pretends to take a nap before your next feeding."

Victoire felt like she hadn't slept since the twins were born. Wednesdays and Fridays her mother in law would come over and give her a break, and she'd get some overdue rest. But today was Monday, and enduring two more days seemed like forever away.

"Hush little baby, don't you cry…" she murmured, rocking in the chair along with the swing. She closed her eyes and tried not to hear the wailing child whose nap was long overdue.

"I'm gonna be seasick, thanks to you," Petra muttered, glaring at his sister in the bassinet. "Just wait until lunch!"

"I don't know why these things are called high chairs. They can still get to us without a step stool," Clarissa said.

"Should have put those noodles in your mouth, Clarise. That's where they belong. Now we're back to spoons of goo."

"Don't put that on me, Petra. I was the one feeding myself. Did you see Mummy's smile?"

"You were the one with noodles in your hair,"

"Hey, at least I was trying. You kept whining until Mummy fed you herself. How are you going to take over Muggle Television if you can't even feed yourself?"

"Daddy said I can do whatever I want because I'm such a cutie! Besides, letting Mummy feed me is cute! She said I was adorable! Oh look, Daddy's home!"

"Ugh, they're kissing again!"

"Quick! Make some noise to get them to stop!"

Teddy Lupin pulled back after kissing his wife hello. She looked so tired, and the children were making such a ruckus in their highchairs, with food practically everywhere on them except in their mouths.

"Ah, where are my little angels?" He turned to his wife and gave her a hug and a long sigh. "Why don't you go and lay down, and I'll spend time with these two adorable things!"

"Wait, that's cold!"

"Hey, that was MY noodle!"

"Oh, he's lifting me up. Bye, loser!"

"No you don't, I'm coming too. Nyah nyah!"

"Yay! Floor time with Daddy!"

Teddy Lupin looked at his two angels, asleep on the carpet. He hated to move them to the bassinet, but it wouldn't be safe for them to wake up unattended. He scooped up one, and then the other, and laid them side by side in their bassinet. Then he went into the bedroom and kicked off his shoes to lay beside his other angel, Victoire, who was already fast asleep.