'Fuck.'
Sirius had slammed his bag down onto the breakfast table, the jug of pumpkin juice shaking precariously, and sat down with a scowl. Peter had followed with an expression none too happier.
'What?' James inquired, a rather amused expression crossing his face. He sat beside Lily, the two always down at breakfast earliest, and raised a questioning eyebrow at his friends.
'Slughorn just gave us detention.' Peter glowered. 'Tonight.'
James' grin quickly fell. 'Shit.'
Sirius hit the table with his fist, swearing under his breath.
'What happened? Lily asked. She hesitated. 'Where's Remus?'
'In bed. We told him we'd bring him some food, and then,' Peter said. 'We went and got a fucking detention.'
'You mean I got the detention. I'm the fucking twat who thought it'd be funny to turn Avery's hair green.' Sirius groaned. 'It was possibly the most unimaginative thing I could've pulled on that oaf.'
Lily gave his hand a squeeze, biting her lip in worry. 'Don't beat yourself up about it. I'm sure… I'm sure Remus will understand.'
'Understand what?' Sirius snapped. 'That his supposedly best friends have abandoned him the only night he needs them? What kind of fucking useless mates are we?'
James raised his eyebrows. 'I haven't got detention, have I? My evening plans haven't changed.'
'James-'
'Look, you two prats do your detention. I can manage it by myself.'
Lily was looking at him with the same refusing expression as both Sirius and Peter.
'Mate, don't be fucking mental.' Peter said. 'You could get seriously hurt.'
'I kno-'
'No, James.' Sirius' voice dropped. 'It's bloody well dangerous enough when it's all of us. You're not doing it alone.'
'James, they're right. I already worry myself crazy all night when all three of you go out. It's just not safe.' Lily's eyes were wide, her voice a whisper. He found her hand under the table and rubbed it soothingly.
'Listen, all of you. I know it's not safe, I'm not stupid.' Sirius scoffed at this. 'But, I'm not letting Remus suffer by himself, hurt himself because you two got in trouble.' James was now staring pointedly at the boys. 'If I get hurt, it'll be worth it. I'm not leaving him alone.'
'Whatever Gryffindor pride you've got shoved up your arse, get it out.' Peter said, his tone slightly harsh. 'We're not letting you be a wolf's chew toy tonight.'
'Pete-'
'You're both going to get hurt. Remus won't want this, James.' Lily placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. Sirius remained silent.
'I would do it for any of you.' James said quietly. 'This is Remus. There's no way I'm sitting this one out.'
Sirius looked across. 'Mate, you know I'm with you on anything, but Lily's right. At least talk to Remus first.'
James gave a stiff nod, stood up and slung his bag on his shoulder. 'Right, well thanks for the support.' He gave Lily a very quick kiss on the top of her head. 'Muggle studies now.'
Sirius, Peter and Lily watched James leave in silence. Only once he'd gone did they turn to each other.
'He just needs to think about it. Talk to Remus.' Lily sounded much more confident than she felt.
'Right.' Peter said, grabbing a slice of toast from the rack. 'Right.'
'Bloody idiot.' Sirius said.
Double Runes, the last lesson of the day, came to a close and Lily was out the room and running up the stairs before the bell had finished ringing. She'd eaten lunch with Mary and Emma as usual but, as she'd guessed before even setting foot in the hall, James hadn't shown up to sit with the rest of the Marauders. In fact, though she was very aware of why, Remus hadn't showed up either and as Lily had looked at the spot usually filled with the boisterous group of boys, she had only found Sirius and Peter, heads bent, talking quietly to one another.
Flying out of the Runes classroom, leaving a thoroughly confused Mary to gather the work, Lily had only one thing on her mind. She'd been going over the situation in her head all day, wondering if the idea of James risking his safety like this would be the most idiotic thing he'd ever do. Then she wondered if letting him go would make her a terrible girlfriend because, really, what type of girl let's her boyfriend go out in the night to run around with a werewolf? But then, she countered, she really did care for Remus, and the thought of him being alone all night like that was enough to make Lily consider going down to the shack herself.
What she really wanted was to see James. He hadn't been in Herbology, the only class they shared on Tuesdays and, knowing him, he wouldn't have turned up to any of his lessons, most likely to have stayed with Remus all day. She supposed that, despite his stubbornness, his loyalty really was quite admirable.
'Gulping plimpies,' Lily's voice came out in a hoarse whisper. She put her hands to her knees and breathed in deeply before lifting her head to see the portrait of the Fat Lady open up to the common room. To say she was rather proud of being the first person to arrive that afternoon, seeing as her Ancient Runes classroom was just about on the opposite side of the castle, was quite the understatement. It wasn't long, however, before students coming from nearby classes were filing into Gryffindor tower, and Lily had only had time to fling her book onto a chair nearby before being surrounded by loud chatter.
She made her way through the pieces of furniture, still breathless from the sprint across the castle, and began to climb the stairs of the boys' dormitories. It was five o'clock.
Lily knocked softly on the door of the fifth floor before letting herself into the room.
'Hey,' she said gently. James was sitting cross legged on his bed with a book. He looked up to the sound of her voice and gave a small smile.
'Hi,'
She walked across the messy floor, seating herself opposite James, and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Her hands fingered with the pages of the book that she was now focusing her attention on. She could almost feel James watching her.
'Out with it, then.' He sighed.
'What?'
'Tell me that doing this is stupid and that I could get seriously hurt –'
'James.'
'- and that you wouldn't know what to do if I did because you love me too much to let me do thi-'
'James.'
He grinned at her as she slapped his knee lightly.
'I'm not going to be one of those girls that orders her boyfriend around.' Lily said, looking straight at him now. 'I came here to check up on you. You didn't come to any of our lessons.'
'I'm fine. It's Remus I'm worried about.'
'I take it Mrs Seline's taken him then?'
'He should be in the shack by now.'
'Does he know?'
James hesitated. Lily already knew the answer. 'I didn't want to worry him.'
They were quiet for a few moments.
Lily sighed and bit her lip, finally making up her mind. If Remus was going to do this, she thought, he wasn't going to do it alone. James was strong, he was good at what he did, and she knew that if anyone would take care of Remus like this, it was going to be him. It was funny to think of it in that way, but Lily had always felt safe with James. She felt like nothing would hurt her, that James would always be able to protect her. It was a nice feeling.
'I think you should go.' She said.
James closed her hands in his and smiled gently.
'Peter's still annoyed but I reckon Sirius wants me to do it, too.' He said. 'They came up here at lunch.'
'Well, I get where Peter's coming from. I'm not all that happy about this either and will probably be up all night. If I fail my transfiguration assessment tomorrow, it's on you.'
James laughed. 'You'll do brilliantly, Lils,'
'I hope so. I'll just feel so much better when I know you and Remus are safe.'
'We'll be fine, I promise.' He said and, again, Lily couldn't help but feel that theywould be fine. James seemed so certain.
'So,' she said, lifting her satchel from the floor and placing it between them. 'We got a lot of Herbology homework today.'
James pulled his head back and groaned. 'Lily –'
'Hey, I'm not letting you fail a class. We started our project on Devil's Snare and Professor Sprout said it was sure to come up in our exams.' She pulled out a textbook from the bag. 'Oh, and you're my partner so if you're not going to do the work I can always ask to choose someone else. I must say Aaron Finch was looking quite dreamy today…'
'Fine,' James huffed.
Lily laughed and pulled out a quill.
The next hour passed quickly; Lily recounting the lesson for James in the first ten minutes or so and then going on to start working on their project. They chatted all the while, the topic of the evening long forgotten. That is until Sirius barged through the door.
'Woah woah woah,' He pushed his way back out rather hurriedly, hands over his eyes and slammed the door shut.
'Sirius we're doing Herbology homework.' Lily called, suppressing a laugh.
'Are you both fully clothed?' Came Sirius' muffled reply.
'Yes, we're bloody well fully clothed you twat!'
'Are you absolutely certain?'
'Get in here, Sirius.'
'Alright, alright. Just making sure.'
He opened the door again and walked across to his bed.
'I don't want another St. Gwydion's day calamity, if it's all good and well with you.'
'Sirius!'
'What? Seeing your two best mates doing that…' He shuddered.
Lily put down her quill and turned to face him.
'Where's Peter?'
'Trying to convince Slughorn to move detention to tomorrow. It's his third attempt.'
James raised his eyebrows. 'Like that's even going to work. Only person Slughorn would do something like that for is –'
'Lily.' Sirius finished. 'I know.'
'What?'
'C'mon Lily, like you haven't noticed.' James said. 'That man's got the hots for you like my Aunt Tessa has for cinnamon buns.'
'Ew!' Lily replied. 'You two are mental, he just likes me because I'm good at potions!'
'Oh, Lil.' Sirius said, laughing.
She was shaking her head. 'Ew ew ew.'
'We should probably start on the plan for tonight.' Sirius grabbed a notebook and a quill from the table next to his bed. 'Obviously we can't use this one.' He said, holding up a page filled with sketches and notes, and tossed the paper in the bin.
'We should wait till Peter gets back.' James said. 'And Lils, you don't have to be here.'
Lily raised her eyebrows. 'If that's your way of kicking me out, it's pretty bad. I know I'm not exactly one of you but I can still be helpful.'
James and Sirius looked at each other. Lily stayed put.
'In fact,' she said, lifting herself from the bed. 'I will leave. I'm going to go and get Slughorn to move the date.'
'Lily…'
'No, you're right. If I can do anything, I'm getting you and Peter out of that wretched detention.' She slung her satchel onto her shoulders and held out a hand to James. 'Just give me the map and I'll be on my way.'
He pulled the parchment from his pocket and placed it in Lily's hand. 'It's not going to work.'
'We'll see.'
'You were right.' Lily muttered. She shut the door behind her and sighed. 'I tried, I really did.'
Lily had left Gryffindor tower with determination, making her way down the staircases to the dungeons. The map showed Slughorn in his office, though Peter was no longer there. With a quick scan, she'd found him walking up to the common room on the other side of the castle. She was ready to bet he had been unsuccessful.
With a knock and a 'Come in!', Lily entered the office. Slughorn was seated at his desk and put his quill down when he saw her.
'Ah Miss Evans! What brings you here today?'
'Good evening Professor,' Lily said uncertainly. She took a few steps forward. 'I actually wanted to speak with you about uh… about the detention you gave Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew today.'
'Do continue, Miss Evans,'
'Oh um, well… you see, what happened this morning… well, it wasn't Sirius' fault. It was mine.'
'Lily? Please take a seat.' She did.
'I was the one who turned Avery's hair green, sir.' Lily said with more confidence. 'Sirius took the blame so I wouldn't get detention and -'
'Miss Evans, I did indeed witness the entire incident and know perfectly well Mr Black is guilty.' He raised his eyebrows. Crap. Lily thought, it was worth a shot. 'While I admire your chivalry in coming to take the blame, I must ask that you don't go about this again. It could very well get you in trouble.'
'But sir-'
'Now now, Miss Evans. This is hardly your business, I think. Please respect the punishment given to both young men and be on your way.'
'Professor, if you could just move their detention to tomorrow night –'
'That has been a very popular request today, I must say. You don't want to be raising my suspicions too much now, do you? Black and Pettigrew have been rightfully punished and I must ask you to not question that for what I've given them.'
'Please sir, I -'
'Miss Evans I will no longer discuss the matter. Please head back to your common room before I put you in detention along with the boys.'
'Right.' She said. 'Sorry, Professor.'
Lily lifted herself from the chair and walked from the office without another word. Well, she thought, that was totally useless. She sighed and headed back to the tower.
It was half seven by the time Lily had entered the boys' dormitory again.
'Knew it.' James replied. Peter was sitting on his bed, scribbling something on parchment.
'Thanks for trying, though' Sirius said, shrugging. She went to sit next to James and fiddled with her hair.
'You've come up with a plan?' She asked.
'Pretty much. S'not as complicated with just one of us, plus we'd already got the staff schedules down.' Peter said.
'Well that's good then, right?' Lily said with as much optimism as she could muster. She placed the map onto the table next to her. 'There you go. Are any of you going to dinner?'
James, Sirius and Peter all murmured that they 'weren't hungry' and 'there was no point'.
'Alright then, I'll see you later. Sorry about the Slughorn thing, I did my best.'
'Bye,' they mumbled as Lily left the room. She had the distinct feeling she'd interrupted a conversation not meant for her ears, though quickly forgot about it once she found Emma in the common room.
Dinner was either the best or worst part of Lily's day. She couldn't decide. The food was delicious (chicken salad, pepperoni pizza and her favourite: chocolate profiteroles), and it felt good to chat with Mary and Emma. But she couldn't help herself from checking her watch every few minutes, thinking about James going out to the shack by himself, waiting until the time came where she'd have to see him off and worry herself crazy for hours. It made her feel a little queasy.
In no time at all, it was nine o'clock and the three girls, who had been talking for a solid hour at least, were walking out the hall.
Once back in the tower, they settled into their favourite seats by the fire and started deciphering the Runes homework.
'I hate runes.' Emma said sadly.
'Shut up and help me figure out what the hell 'cludrec' means.' Lily said, giggling as Emma nudged her.
'I'm too tired for this.' Mary yawned, curling up and resting her head on Emma's shoulder.
Lily sighed. 'I know what you mean.'
'Oi, pass me that quill,'
It was reaching eleven and Lily, Emma and Mary had finished their Runes and were starting on the Charms due the next day.
'Thanks, Em,'
'Peter!'
Lily had just noticed Peter and Sirius emerge from the boys' staircase and walked over to them.
'Good luck with your detention, I guess.'
'Yeah, I don't think we'll be needing any luck with scrubbing the potions room clean.' Sirius said, throwing an arm round Lily.
'Well, I heard the stains can get pretty rough.' She said, giving a smile. 'Just don't do anything stupid.'
'Ugh, it's going to take forever,' Peter groaned.
'You'll be having a hell of a time compared to Remus. The moon's out, already.'
They exchanged sincere looks and quick goodbyes before Sirius and Peter headed out the common room, and Lily was left standing at the bottom of the staircase.
She treaded lightly up the stairs, all the way to the boys' dorms and entered without a knock.
'You ready?' Lily asked softly. James was pulling his tie loose and shoving an old pair of trainers on. He grabbed his map, wand and cloak from the bed and walked up to her.
'Ready.'
Lily's hand touched his arm gently. 'Please be careful.'
'Only for you.' James grinned. She reached up on her toes and gave him a small kiss. His hand rested on her back for a moment before he pulled away and wrapped the cloak around him. 'Let's go.'
Lily had been sitting on the window sill seat of the Gryffindor common room for what felt like forever. She was curled up in amongst the large cushions and wrapped in a blanket, head resting on the cool window as she gazed out into the night. Rain had begun drizzling down around an hour ago and blurred the twinkling stars dotted across the sky, the sound so calm in the silence of the tower. The once crackling fire had almost died out, orange embers fizzling delicately in the coal and giving just enough light for Lily to read the title of the book she'd brought downstairs. Everything was so peaceful.
She looked at her watch. Three in the morning.
Lily had felt her eyes droop quite often, begging her body to fall asleep, but she just couldn't. She couldn't close her eyes and drift off into a perfectly blissful dream world when James was out there by himself. When Remus could be hurt. When she was so unsure of everything.
Even Sirius and Peter hadn't come back yet. It had been four hours. She wondered if they had finished detention already and gone straight to the shack. Perhaps that was part of the plan she hadn't heard.
She sighed, mist forming on the black window where her lips were. The same thoughts had been running through her mind over and over all night.
All at once, the sound of rustling grabbed Lily's attention and she sat up in her seat. She looked to the direction of the noise and saw the portrait door suddenly swinging open, light from the hallway candles flooding into the room.
'Sirius?' She whispered. The tall figure closed the door carefully and looked up.
'Lily?' It was James.
It was… James?
'James.' Lily breathed.
She shrugged off her blanket and fell to her feet, hurrying to the other side of the room.
'James, what are you doing? Where are Sirius an-' Lily stopped. 'Oh god. Is that blood?'
He mumbled something in a low voice and Lily could just about make out his face. She placed her hands gently on his arms and pulled him to the window seat.
'Lumos,' Lily muttered. She wished she hadn't. 'Oh god, oh god.'
Dark scarlet blood was gathering across James' t-shirt. There was a cut across his cheek and grazes covered his arms.
'It's not as bad as it looks.' He whispered softly, leaning his head back onto the window and closing his eyes.
Lily was breathing rapidly. 'James, we need to get you to the hospital wing,'
'Mrs Seline will only want to know how I got it, Lils.'
'I'll make something up. Come on, we have to get this taken care of.'
James looked at her. 'I can't. I almost passed out getting here. I just need to sleep.'
'James.' Lily said quietly. 'These cuts need cleaning, and Merlin knows what's caused that amount of blood on your chest.'
'Lily.'
They locked eyes. She sighed.
'Take your shirt off.'
'What?'
'James, get that bloody shirt off. I need to see the cut.'
James breathed deeply. 'It doesn't hurt that much.'
'I still need to see it.'
'I can't.'
'Dear Merlin, it's like changing a baby.' Lily muttered to herself.
'Wha-?'
But she had already taken the bottom of his top in her hands and was lifting it up. Her fingers grazed his skin gently as she pulled up, and it took a minute of fumbling hands to finally get it off.
'Oh,' Lily breathed lightly.
Across James' chest was a deep gash, a claw evidently ripped at the skin, and dark blood was pouring out the thin crack.
Lily's fingers tenderly traced the blood-dried skin around the wound and she couldn't have known what to say to him. James was making no sound but she could see the pain on his face, and she could see how bad it was.
She grabbed her wand with trembling fingers.
'Vulnera Sanentur,' she whispered. The gash shone so slightly for a fraction of a second before a sound of agony escaped James' lips. The wound tied together almost immediately, the torn skin healing in moments. It was done.
James sat up slowly, placing a hand to his chest and letting out a deep breath.
'You're lucky your girlfriend wants to become a healer.' Lily whispered, a smile spreading across her face. 'Tergeo.'
She'd pointed her wand to his torso once again, and the blood was gone within seconds.
'Oh I'm lucky you're my girlfriend for a lot of reasons.' James smiled. He'd turned his body to hers, bringing his face so close. 'Thank you.'
'No problem.' Lily breathed, her voice caught in her throat. He was so close. So close.
And it might have been seconds, or minutes, or mere moments that they were looking at each other, frozen in time. But it all fell away, everything just disappeared, when James pressed his lips to hers. She kissed him back, hard, but soft, rough, but gentle. She didn't know. They sat cross legged beside the window, wrapped in a kiss that lasted a trillion seconds, a kiss Lily smiled into, a kiss James never thought could be so good.
Lily's hands travelled to his back, fingers skimming the bare skin, feeling the muscles contract in every movement. His hands fell in her hair, like they always did, bringing her head closer, holding on so securely.
They were tangled in limbs, laughing softly, kissing gently, falling into each other's arms as time went on. The rain had stopped, the cool window a display of the clear velvet sky dotted with shining with a million lights. They always said stars could see love.
