All Connor wanted to feel was accepted. Especially by his so called father, Superman. He felt so depressed that he cuts himself with a kyrpotine laced blade. He felt relief as the cool blade cut into his skin. He felt relief as his warm blood ran slowly down his cool arm. After the feeling passed, he would feel guilty cutting himself again. After about 15 cuts on his arm, he would put the bloody blade in the drawer so that he would allow himself to heal. Only one person knew about his releasing strategy. That person was Kaldur.
Kaldur found out about Connor's problem when he looked in Connor's personal bathroom to see his blood spilled into the sink. Kaldur told Connor that he had to talk to someone about this. Connor, in tears, begged him not to tell anyone. They both agreed that they would have a chat once or twice a week to help Connor no longer feel the need to cut himself. He has not cut himself in about 5 weeks. Then the worst thing happened.
Superman just had to come to the cave. He just had to get into an argument with Batman over Connor. He just had to say those words:
"He is not my son nor my responsibility."
What made it even worse was that Connor was in the room when it was said. The Team gave Superman the nastiest of looks as Connor ran off into his room, slamming the door behind him. He cried on his bed and stared longingly at the drawer that he held his second blade.
"How dare you." Kaldur said coldly at Superman.
"I beg your pardon?" Superman asked shocked.
"How dare you treat your son like trash. Do you even know what you did to him?" Kaldur asked in a sharp tone.
"You don't know what you are talking about." Superman said.
"Oh I do. Let me tell you a tale. There once was a boy who everyday of his life was beaten by his father. One day his father pulled out a gun and shot his son. Instead, it was his mother who was shot that day, not the son. His father was taken to jail but he never served a single day of his life. The boy was only 6 years old. He was put into an orphanage and stayed there for two years. One day, two year later, a man came in and asked the boy if he wanted to go home with him. When the child asked him why the man replied that no child should live without love from a parent. Then the boy went with the man and lived with him for eight years even to this day. All of that time, the man loved the boy like one of his own along with his wife. When the boy cried, even to this day, the man would hold the boy. The child was not even his own and yet the man treated him like it. So tell me this, why is it that the man treat the boy like his own son when you treat your own flesh and blood like crap?" Kaldur explained as he kept his voice as even as he could.
Superman was quiet. He did not know how to respond. The Team never knew the tale, but Megan knew that it was very personal to Kaldur by the mental wave length he gave off. Superman tried to say something but he fell to the ground. This only happened when kryponite was in the same room or area near him. Kaldur knew where it was coming from but he did not want to believe.
"No!" Kaldur shouted softly as he ran to Connor's room in a panic.
Kaldur started to pound on the door furiously.
"Connor, open the door!" Kaldur shouted loudly.
Kaldur did not get a response form Team and Batman quickly followed Kaldur and were very confused.
"What is going on?" Batman asked.
"Connor has been harming himself with a kryponite blade for several weeks. He told me that he has not harmed himself in 5 weeks." Kaldur explained.
"Why didn't he say anything to me?" Megan asked.
"He was ashamed. He did not want you to look down upon him." Kaldur explained. "Connor please open the door." Kaldur begged.
"Why?! It's not like I'm gonna be missed." Connor shouted angrily in tears.
"Yes you will. Connor, the world needs Superboy, the Team needs you, Megan needs you, I need you. Please Connor, people love you Connor. I know what it is like to feel abandoned and depressed." Kaldur said.
"Oh yeah!? When!?" Connor asked loudly in disbelief.
"I tried to kill myself when I was seven years old. I was living at the palace at the time. I was ridiculed for living in a palace due to my...background. I was abused by the people who hated me without even knowing who I truely am. I thought maybe I did not have a place in this world because so many people were trying to take me out of it. I figured, to let myself save them the trouble. So in the wretched morning, I went to my drawer, grabbed the knife I had taken from one of the guards, and cut my hand in the shape of an 'X'. Before I could even cut my wrists, ending all of my pain and suffering, Aquaman stopped me. I was afraid, I was ashamed, I was in tears. To my surprise, he did not shout at me. He was not mad at me. He picked me off of the bed, placed me on my bathroom sink, clean my hand of blood, and wrapped it in a bandage wrap. He took me back to my bed and sat himself on the bed with his back resting on the head board with me in his lap. He held me in his arms and we talked about my problem. At the end he said to me:
"I am not promising you that it will be easy. I am not promising you that it will not get harder. But, my son, what I am promising you that I will alway be here to help you along the way."
So Connor, I am saying this to you, I am not promising you that it will be easy. I am not promising you that it will not get harder. But, my brother, I am promising you that I will always be here to help you along the way. I am not- I am not losing anymore of my family. I will not do it. Please open the door and let me help you on this journey. Please." Kaldur begged as his voice started to crack and tears flowed down his cheeks.
After about 4 painstaking minutes, Connor opened the door and sobbed in Kaldur shoulder as he pulled him into a painful yet loving hug. Kaldur exhaled in relief and squeezed him tightly. He tried to calm Connor down along with trying to sooth his shaking nerves.
"I have you now. Relax. It will all be alright." Kaldur said softly as he rubbed his back.
"I'm so sorry." Connor sobbed loudly into his shoulder.
"It is ok. And if it is not, I shall fix it." Kaldur said comfortably.
When Connor finally calmed down, Kaldur took him to the infirmary. Connor instantly fell asleep on the bed. Megan stayed with him. Robin only had one question on his mind.
"Kaldur, is that story really true. About the boy and the man?" Robin asked.
"Sadly yes." Kaldur said softly.
"I'm sorry for your lost." Robin said with a hand on Kaldur muscular arm.
"Did you really try to, you know, kill yourself when you were a kid?" Robin asked carefully.
Kaldur went to the sink and washed the body make up off his palm. There was the 'X' shape scar that was revealed on his palm.
"I am an Atlantean soldier. I have to be strong and unbreakable. This was my moment of weakness. I do not need a reminder of that moment." Kaldur admitted as he slowly put his hand in his pocket.
Robin was in shock. He, out of nowhere, gave Kaldur a tight brotherly hug. He did not know why he gave him that hug, it just felt right. Robin then let go of him and left the room. Kaldur still had one more thing to take care of. Turns out, his problem came to him. Superman stood before Kaldur, not saying a word.
"Connor is in the infirmary. He is fine, that is if you care." Kaldur said harshly.
"Ok. I deserve that. But you do not understand. Superboy-" Superman started to explain himself but Kaldur stopped him dead in his tracks.
"His name is Connor. As long we are not talking about a mission or assignment he was on as Superboy, you will address him as Connor. Am I understood." Kaldur stated in his 'Aqualad' tone.
"Connor was built to kill me. How am I suppose to treat someone sent to kill me as family?" Superman asked.
"You need to figure that out on your own. You also need to let Connor be angry at you. That is why he is so filled with rage all the time. Also, let him take that anger out on you. That is what he is craving for some relief. After he has calmed down, then you actually talk to him. That is the only way will ever get through to him. He does want you in his life, you just need to take the first step." Kaldur said in a calm tone.
"Aquaman was right about you." Superman said with a small smile.
"What about?" Kaldur asked confused.
"That you are wiser than any person I will ever meet in my entire life time or in any lifetime. And also, you are really Aquaman's son." Superman said with a smile and headed to the infirmary.
Kadur smiled lightly at his words. Before he left to make his phone call, he had to say one more thing.
"And Superman." Kaldur called out to him.
"Yes." Superman replied as he turned to face him.
"If you do get into his life, and if you ever abandon him again, I will personally send the full wrath of Hades to your doorstep." Kaldur warned with a glare as scary as Batman's.
"Wouldn't dream of it." Superman said as he went to the infirmary.
Kaldur went by the pool and made a call through his communicator given to him by Aquaman.
"Aquaman are you there?" Kaldur asked.
"Yes Aqualad. What is it?" Aquaman answered.
"Are you preoccupied at the moment?" Kaldur asked cautiously.
"No. I was actually heading back to Atlantis. Why?" Aquaman asked slightly worriedly.
"I wanted to ask you..this is probably a bad time." Kaldur started to say nervously.
"Kaldur, what is it my son?" Aquaman asked.
"I wanted to see if we can go to lunch and talk for a while." Kaldur asked in a rush.
"I would love to. We have not had a chance to talk in some time." Aquaman agreed.
"Then I will meet you in Atlantis then." Kaldur said with a smile.
"Until then." Aquaman said as he ended the call.
Kaldur smiled as he walked to the zeta beam.
Superman went to the infirmary and heard Megan and Connor talking. He knocked on the door and waited for an answer.
"Come in." Connor said loudly so he could here.
Superman walking in and saw Megan snuggled to Connor chest, holding his hand tightly.
"Mis- Megan, can you give us a minute?" Superman asked hesitantly.
Megan looked at Connor for an ok. Connor nodded while he kissed her temple. She kissed his cheek and left the room. This left the krytonians in an awkward silence. Clark didn't know if to sit on the bed or stay standing by the door. He took a chance and sat on the edge of the bed. Connor slightly pulled his legs closer to himself, almost like he was trying to protect himself from Clark. Clark knew he had to say something.
"Kaldur said that you will be ok." Clark stated.
"I can go back on missions in about 2 to 3 weeks." Connor said.
"Sup- Connor, I know that I have not been fair to you these few months." Clark said.
"Biggest understatement of the year." Connor mumble angrily.
"Ok. But, with everything that happened today, I want to be in your life." Clark explained.
"So let me get this straight, you expect me to allow you into my life after everything you did to me. You ignore me since day 1, then refuse to train me, and lets not forget me not 'being your responsibility'! How dare you ask that of me!" Connor explained angrily.
"I know I made mistakes." Clark tried to defend himself.
"Mistakes! You ruined my life! I can't think, I can't sleep without having nightmares about you! You don't give a damn about me for 8 months and yet I care! I shouldn't give a crap about you, but yet I do! God, what is wrong with me!" Connor shouted angrily.
"You're right. I did treat you like crap. You shouldn't care about me. My parents treated me like their own son even though I wasn't, and yet I treat you like a monster. The real monster in this is me. I should not be here asking for forgiveness." Clark explained honestly as his heart crumbled at his own words.
"You're damn right you shouldn't!" Connor said in encouragement.
"But, I am asking you for a second chance. You have to understand that most men and women have 9 months to be ready to have a child. I had the flight over from the tower. I had a good 9 minute before I was giving you. A spittin' image of me. Alone and scared and in a strange world and all you wanted was to meet me. I did not know what to do with that. I tried to wrap my head around having a son. I always wanted kids and the fact you were built to kill me, I needed to figure out what I wanted to do with that knowledge. I am so sorry that I treated you the way did because of my own personal issues but I want you in my life and I want to be in yours. Please give me a chance." Clark said as his eyes filled with tears.
Connor thought over everything that was said. He truly wanted to forgive him but it was hard for him to do so. He thought about what Megan told him that everyone deserves a second chance.
"Alright. I do forgive you. But you have to promise me that you will never treat me like that ever again." Connor said as he wiped his tears that were flowing down his cheeks.
Clark hugged him tightly. Connor hugged him back just as tight. Connor sobbed into his shoulder, crying out his pain. Clark kissed his forehead lightly in a fatherly manner. He rocked him in his arms gently.
"Don't a worry Connor. I'm never letting you go again." Clark said softly.
And this time, Connor believed him.