It had all started as something that was just for her. A way to find Jim when he was nowhere to be found. Every moment with him seemed to be filled with music. He craved the search of it. He wanted to share it with anyone he knew would understand that a song can change your life. He always shared it with her. But that was before. Before she lied and before she broke his heart. Before he left.

So she found him in little ways. Eating a ham and cheese sandwich with her mixed berries. Eating hot sauce on everything. Collecting mini pencils. Playing her own little pranks. She found him in all those things. She was searching for music now too. Looking for him in words he's never even heard. With a broken heart every pop song speaks to you. She made herself a play list she could listen to when she need him. Every week new songs would make there way into that list. She had never intended him to know. She never expected him to come back.

When he came back he had come back alone. He hadn't jumped into the closest bed to forget her. He hadn't moved on. She took comfort in that . She saw beyond the quiet and the cold. She longed for a way to reach out to him. Then all at once it hit her. She remembered on her first Valentines Day at Dunder Mifflin. She had been five months into her first year. Jim and her had already become them. They had a groove. They were talking about their first real Valentines Day. One that becomes more than a card for everyone in the class and chocolate kisses. Jim told a heartbreaking story. He was fifteen and more in love than he had ever been. She of course had no idea he even existed but he had plans to change all that. He had stayed up two nights making a mix tape for her. Overanalyzing every song choice. When he had proudly presented it to her she turned her back on him and left him with nothing but a swish of her skirt and tears in his eyes. He decided then he didn't believe in Valentines Day. Hers wasn't all that great either. Roy had taken her to the movies. They ended up in the back of his car and he had clumsily, painfully taken her virginity. She was sixteen. That when she decided she didn't believe in Valentines Day either.

Now almost four years later and she's starting to believe again. Every time she sees his smile. Every time she hears his full bellied laugh, the one he only saves for her. Every time she smells the cologne she gave him two years ago for Christmas. Every time she sees him she believes a little bit more. She's starting to think that may not be such a bad thing.

It was that believing that sent her scurrying to Jim's desk the minute she saw him head for the break room. It was that believing that made her think she could afford to put herself out there for once. It was that believing that led to Jim finding a slim jewel case propped up on his keyboard. And it was that believing that gave her the courage to write that she was always his on the cover and surround it with tiny pink hearts. This time it was her proudly presenting something this personal. She could only hope she would get more than a swish of a skirt and a broken heart.

He sat staring at the slim jewel case as if at any moment it would self-destruction. He knew what her small gesture meant. It meant the beginning of something huge. Something he knew would start as soon as he heard the first song. Something he wasn't quite sure he was ready for. So here he sat weighing the pros and cons. Working up the courage to let her in again. Thankfully however none of his courage was needed. She had plenty of that for the both of them. In the background he hears his phone ring and she suddenly leaves him with no choice.

Pam wasn't quite sure where she had gotten the idea to call him but something told her that this was one of those times they actually needed to realize something together. They had a notorious history of realizing things far too early or much too late. But she also had a more self-serving purpose. She wanted to experience this with him. Music was something he loved. Something he felt. She had taken the first step and taken a chance. She wanted the music to say all the things she wasn't quite ready to say. She wanted his reaction. She wanted to know if he'd connect the right lyrics to her. She wanted to hear his small gasps as they did connect. Because of course he would get it. He was Jim. She was sharing a part of herself with him. She wanted the intimacy he had offered her long ago and tonight she'd know for sure if he still wanted her too. She held her breath until his voice rang in her ears. At the sound of him he gave her no choice but to be brave.

She was quiet and still not breathing.

"Pam?"

"Jim, I know this won't make much sense but I thought maybe..."

"Maybe?"

"Well maybe we could listen to it together. You haven't started yet have you?"

"Well no. I guess we could if you wanted."

"Please Jim, it would mean a lot to me."

"Kay I'll get it ready."

Silence weighed heavily on them. Not even breath was between them. All they had was hope and the sense that this could be the beginning of everything. With Pam in her little cubby hole of an apartment and Jim in an apartment with so much room even with him in it it felt empty a single note sounded. And together they let out the breath they had both been holding since May. It was now or never.

They kind of liked the idea of now.