Author's Note: A random thought occurred to me one day when I was rewatching season four- where did Giles's 'Kiss the Librarian' mug come from? And then this scenario popped into my head. It really doesn't make sense considering the the time frame but still. STILL. Here, have fic.
"Happy birthday!" Anya beamed, thrusting a box into Giles's hands. "I've been told on the anniversary of your birth you are supposed to receive gifts." This was certainly a surprise. The ex-watcher carefully turned the square package over, examining it from behind his spectacles. Shoddily swaddled in yellowing newspaper, the parcel was held together by what appeared to be an entire role of tape. The sheer earnestness was enough to make him smile. It was a very nice gesture. Although considering the source the possibility of what was inside caused severe worry.
Xander stepped up behind his girlfriend, placing a hand on her shoulder. "It's from the both of us."
"It is not," said Anya indignantly. "I purchased it myself."
"Yeah, with my money. You know, that green stuff I go to work to get." The former vengeance demon fixed her glare on Xander. Even as a human it was still terrifying, like the scorn of a thousand wronged women. Thousands of wronged women with pointy pitchforks. His hand slipped from her shoulder as he shrank back, simpering apologetically.
Giles smile weakened as he fought the urge to clean his glasses, something he often did when made uncomfortable. Typically by his youthful charges. When the two had finished their squabbling he turned to the scowling brunet. "Thank you. I really wasn't expecting this, you shouldn't have."
Anya's face fell slightly as her mouth formed a silent 'oh.' A flurry of emotions- ugh, emotions- they are the worst. Niggling disappointment was the most prevalent. Maybe she could get the money back and buy something for herself. She reached for the box, "Okay then. I will just return it."
"No, no!" The Brit cried. Cradling the gift to his chest he stepped out of reach. "It's a figure of speech. It's, um, considered polite."
She withdrew her hand, brows drawn together. A small huff escaped her lips. Despite being over a thousand years old she had absolutely no grasp of social concepts. "That makes no sense! How is that supposed to be polite? 'Thank you for purchasing this gift with your hard-earned money ("My hard-earned money," Xander muttered just loud enough to be heard) but you shouldn't have even bo-'"
"I think I'll open this now," Giles announced quickly, halting her ramble. The musty newspaper tore easily to reveal a plain brown box underneath. What kind of gifts would an ex-demon give? "I do hope it's not a severed head..."
"Don't be ridiculous," She replied, exasperated. "The severed heads of enemies are for the winter celebration."
"But of course. How silly of me..." Popping open the box he reached in and pulled out the contents.
"A humourous novelty gift!" Anya beamed, looking pleased with herself. It was a mustard yellow mug with the words 'KISS THE LIBRARIAN' printed across the front in bold font.
Xander, who had been standing next to a bookshelf pretending to read the titles, suddenly turned to the birthday boy. "I retract my earlier statement. That's from Anya. I did not buy that."
Going slightly red around the ears Giles sputtered, "Thank you, that's very... Thoughtful. And vaguely inappropriate." Though one might say it's the thought that counts.
"Because you are a librarian. Well, not any more since you blew up the school and became an unemployed slacker." She explained, nodding vigorously. The unemployed slacker shot her a withering glance before placing the gift back in its box.
"Why, yes. Thank you for reminding me, I'd very nearly forgotten."
"You're welcome." Snatching it from his hands Anya turned to walk into the kitchen. "I'm going to put it in your cupboard."
Later that night after Giles had cleared his home of all well-wishing birthday guests he flopped onto the couch with a very undignified groan. What an exhausting day. Running a hand through graying hair he squeezed his tired eyes shut. As much as he'd love to simply fall asleep there were some ancient texts that needed reading before that could happen. Willow had gotten them today, putting a red bow on top and passing them off as birthday presents. Normally Giles would love to receive any form of literature but these texts were entirely in Braznarc, a very difficult demon language to decipher. Simply the thought of translating them caused a slight twinge in the base of his skull.
Pulling his tired body up from the sofa he shuffled into the kitchen, muttering to himself about the massive pitfalls of aging. What's needed at a moment like this is a nice cup of tea. Giles fetched the tea bags, sugar, and milk before turning to the cupboard. Sitting in the front staring him in the face was the 'KISS THE LIBRARIAN' mug, it's stark yellow standing out against the other black and white cups. A chuckle bubbled up from his chest as he shook his head.
The mug sat next to him for the rest of the night. A decidedly nice gift after all.