I looked over to see to see his head leaning into the window. His breathe making the window foggy every time he breathed out. Yet, somehow, I still couldn't relax. Sam laying so still on the floor. I couldn't feel the thump of his heartbeat or the rise of his chest. My worst nightmare had come alive again today. I reach my hand every so often and put it on his chest just to make sure he is still breathing and his heart is still beating.

I sigh. A few moments later, I'm looking back over at Sam, still making sure that he is breathing. Then, my phone rang. "Yeah?" I whisper into the phone so I wouldn't wake Sam.

"Hey, Dean." Dr. Kessler's voice comes through the phone. "I just wanted to check up and see how you were doing."

"Fine. Bye, Doc."

"Dean, w-"

I cut her off by hanging up the phone. It's silent for a moment, then Sam's voice cut in. "Was that Dr. Kessler?" His raspy voice asked. It sounded painful to talk and I winced.

"I thought you were asleep." I said and he just shrugged.

"What did she want?" Sam asked, changing the subject.

"She wanted to check and see how you were doing."

"No."

"What do you mean 'no'?"

"She checked up on me when you were putting gas in the Impala."

"Well, she wanted to check up on you again." I continued my lie.

Sam gave me a look saying he didn't believe me. "Dean."

I sigh, "What, Sam?"

"What really happened?"

"Nothing, dude. I told you that I knew you weren't dead."

It was Sam's turn to sigh. "Dean, you couldn't possibly-"

"Yes, I did, Sam. Drop it. I'm tired and I just want to sleep, so shut it, dude."

We were silent the rest of the trip until we finally pulled into the bunker. I hop out of my baby and made my way over to the passenger side of the car. Sam was already getting out when his legs gave out on him. He let out a cry of pain, and my heart sped up as I rushed towards him. I caught him mid-fall. "You okay?" The words flew out of my mouth.

"Yeah. I'm good." Sam said with a smile, letting me know that he was for sure okay. I didn't believe it.

He tried to shrug me off, but I just held on tighter. "Your sure your okay?"

Sam gave me a look. "Yes, Dean. I'm fine. Promise." I let him go to let him walk, but I still left my hand on the top of his back as we walked, just in case. I don't want him to pull any of his stitches.

I walked him towards my bedroom to let him sleep in, since it was closer. "Dude, I can sleep in my own room."

"I know, but I don't want you standing anymore on your feet so lay down." I said.

Sam silently obeyed, I helped him get settled, making sure he was okay at every pained gasp I heard. I could tell Sam was getting frustrated, but I was too worried about him to care.

"I'll be right back. Don't move, Sammy." I said and walked out of the room into the kitchen. I knew Sam's painkillers were wearing off by the pain lines on his forehead, so I grabbed the bottle, a bottle of water, and a box of crackers and made my way to my room.

When I walked through the doorway, Sam was laying on his back and trying to keep his dropping eyes open. "Hey," I said and Sam's eyes popped open. "Don't go to sleep yet." I slowly help him sit up. Sam didn't refuse the painkillers, which worried me a bit. "Here." I said handing him the crackers.

"Not hungry." Sam replied and went to lay back down on his back.

"Don't care." I reply and stop him from laying down. Sam glares at me. He was never good at taking orders. "Please, Sammy. Just a few." I say softening my voice. Sam hesitantly nods.

Sam downed three and a half crackers, when I finally let him lay back down. "Where are you going to sleep?" Sam asked, eyes already half closed.

"Your room." I stare simply, even though I know that's a lie.

"Okay." Sam says while finally letting his eyes close.

I sigh, and leave the room. Going to get a couple of blankets and pillows from Sam's room.

When I returned to my room, Sam is already fast asleep. No surprise there. I lay one of the blanket on the ground. Then, my pillows. Finally, I lay down and put the last blanket over me. I'm exhausted, but I can't make myself fall asleep. My mind is wide awake. I can't let anything happen to Sam while he is asleep. I have to make sure that he really is okay. Going over the whole day events in my head. It was close. Too close. Sam could have died, and it would've been all my fault. I knew something up with that Corbin dude. It was me he told that we should leave Sam in the woods while we leave. I knew I shouldn't have left Sam in the woods alone with them. It's all my fault. How could I've been so stupid?

Tears finally began to form in my eyes. I wouldn't let them fall, though. I won't. I have to be strong for Sammy.

Throughout the night, I got up to make sure that Sam's heart was beating and his chest was still rising and falling. When it hit seven on the clock, I got up and put the blankets and pillows back. I also did a couple of things around the bunker. I then walked into the kitchen to make breakfast. While I was cooking, Sam must've woke up at some point and walked into the kitchen. "Whoa, whoa, whoa." I said as I rushed towards him.

"I'm good." He said and I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and lead him to sit down in a chair.

"Stay. I'm almost done with breakfast."

"Pancakes?"

"Yep. Your going to eat at least half, too." I turned my head just in time to see Sam roll his eyes at me.

Sam ending up eating 3/4th of his breakfast. Satisfied, I got up and threw the rest away. Then, I helped Sam back up and lead him to my room, where we both sat down on my bed and watched Netflix. I put the TV in my room earlier that morning, and trust me when I say it was hard to do that without waking Sam.

We were silent for a couple of minutes. Watching TV. I could see Sam turning and glancing at me every so often, but I decided to ignore it. Finally, he decided to speak up. "Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"What did you do?"

"What are you talking about?" I said as my gaze met his.

"What did you do? When you thought I was dead."

"I told you already. I knew you weren't dead."

"No way, Dean. There's no way you could have known I wasn't dead. You couldn't feel my pulse or my breathing." Sam stated and I turned my eyes away from his. Not able to look into the pleading hazel eyes any longer. "C'mon, Dean." I felt my eyes start to burn with unshed tears. I turn my head to the other side so Sam couldn't see the tears in my eyes. "I talked to Dr. Kessler, Dean." My eyes widened and my head snapped to Sam. "She called to check up on you." Sam said and his eyes looked down at his lap.

"Sammy." I had no clue what to say.

"Why'd you do it, Dean?" He said in a small voice that reminded me of the little kid he once was. The small voice he used when he had a nightmare and woke me up and asked if he could sleep with me. To make him feel safe.

"I couldn't, Sammy." I said my voice breaking. "It was my fault."

"Dean, I don't blame you."

"That's not the point, Sam. It was my fault. It was my fault you were shot. I left you alone in that cabin with Corbin. When he said we should leave you. Then. I left you alone when I thought you were dead. I shouldn't of left you. I couldn't protect you."

"Dean, you can't protect me all the time."

"I can try, though!"

"Dean-"

"No, Sam! What kind of brother leaves their little brother?"

"Dean, you had to help Corbin and Michelle. I don't blame you. That would be what I would want you to do." Sam said and I just shook my head. "I don't want you to blame yourself." I shrug. He acts like that's possible.

"I want you to calm down and not move around so much when you just got shot! Sometimes we don't get what we want." My eyes drop to my lap.

"I'll make you a deal." My eyes lift to meet Sam's. "I'll take it easy and things like that, but you have to stop blaming yourself so much."

"I don't know if I can do that, Sammy."

"I just want you to try. Please."

"Okay, I can try."

"That's all I want."

I still feel guilty. I probably always will, but right know Sammy is right beside me. Heart beating and breathing. Right now, that's all that matters.

o0o0o0o0o0

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