Good to You
Author's Note: This song has been stuck in my mind for two days now, and it's a wonderful song, but I really need a break from all this sadness. So I decided to write a songfic in hopes that it will get the song out of my system. This is my first songfic so be nice :)
Disclaimer: Remember! I don't own Big Time Rush or anything that is related to the show or anything that is related to real life.
I stepped into the lobby of the famous Palmwoods, my eyes eagerly searching for him. I checked the lobby, the pool and finally the park. During my frantic search, I didn't realize my cap fell off, and some girls at the park started to recognize me. Some of the boys started to follow in suit, staring at me before realizing who I am.
No, not yet! Not now! I mentally screamed, as I quickened my pace, the need to find him increasing. Screams started to burst out around me, followed by a bunch of "It's her!", as I started to run. I need to find hi quickly, I need to see him, I need to talk to him, I need to…I really do…
Finally, I see the face that I've been searching for; the familiar face that I longed for 3 years just to see again. He was standing at the food stand and getting a smoothie, and a smile crept up onto my face.
I guess some things don't change; I chuckled as I walked towards him. But he walked away before I could reach him, strolling towards a picnic table, towards a girl, and handing her his smoothie. I noticed the sparkle in his eyes when he looked at her.
I stared at them, a mixture of shock and sorrow spread across my face, my heart clenching at the sight, as I fought back my tears. He has moved on without me…
Everyone's around,
No words are coming out
And I can't find my breath,
Can we just say the rest with no sound?
Next thing I knew was a bunch of people crashing into me, screaming my name, shoving me papers and pens, while white flashes of light clicked all around me. I lifted my trembling hands to grab hold of the papers and pens, and then messily scribble my name on them, not caring if the fans appreciated it or not. My focus was only on him, hoping all this commotion would get his attention, his eyes on me, and he does. I saw him turn around, and our eyes connected. His face was blank while his mouth hanged open, but his eyes, his beautiful green eyes; they had lost their earlier sparkle, only to be replaced with despair. Like this, we stared at each other, our eyes becoming our words, telling the opposite how much we missed each other. It isn't until I felt a pat on my shoulder, that I broke the connection.
And I know this isn't enough,
I still don't measure up.
And I'm not prepared,
Sorry is never there when you need it…
"Jo, why are you here? You aren't supposed to be seen until the premiere tour is over. You know how hectic it could get! What if you got hurt?", my manager hissed in my ears. She started to say something else, but I ignored her, as I started to walk towards the man I've wanted to see for so long. I need to talk to him, I need to tell him, I need to say I'm sorry, how much I miss him, how much I love him, how much I…
"Jo, we need to go!" I heard as a hand grabbed my arm, and tugged me away from the park. I struggled from grip, looking back to see him approaching me, reaching closer to me, about to embrace me in his warm arms.
Kendall…I tried to shout out, but his name was stuck in my throat, just as my breathing became irregular, and I choke back a cry when I saw that he had turn his attention back to the girl at the picnic table.
I thought I saw a sign,
Somewhere between the lines,
Maybe it's me, maybe I only see,
What I want…
I'm on the plane again, flying around the world attending premieres of "Chauncey Jackson & the Magic Gallows" movie. Apparently, this was going to be my chance to show the Hollywood directors, just how good of an actress I am, opening infinite amounts of opportunities for my career.
But that's not what I want… or is it? I question myself over and over again as I stared at the video camera in my hand. I've been play a video of me and Kendall ever since the plane ride started, and I closed my eyes, only to allow my mind to think about him again. His green eyes, his blonde hair, his silly laughs… Him walking towards me, him about to embrace me, him with that girl, him...
I heard talking behind me and I quickly and carefully placed the video camera in my bag before I stared out the window pretending that I was looking at the clouds.
"You're still thinking about him.", I heard my co-star Daniel said. He sat down next to me, and I turned around to shake my head, to deny his assumption.
"I saw you putting the video camera away, " he pressed on, and I nod my head in defeat.
"I saw what happen at the Palmwoods. Jo, he's with another girl now. You should stop thinking about him and focus on your work," my manager stated. I looked at her and then at Daniel. They don't understand…
"I know! I… I just need… a moment to collect my thoughts," I replied quickly, as I got up and moved to the back of the jet. I knew they were probably right, but his eyes, the sorrow, he still has feelings for me… at least I would like to believe so.
And I still have your letter,
Just got caught between someone I just invented,
Who I really am and who I've become…
It's been a week since I suddenly walked into Kendall's life again, just to leave 10 minutes later. The movie was a success, starting with it being on front page news on every newspaper I could think of, to being ranked the best movie of the month. As for me, several critics have evaluated me as the next Julia Roberts, unexpected performance from such a normal looking girl, and other positive reviews. Now my manager freaks out every time the phone rang, because then she would have to think of a way to fit a new movie deal into my tight schedule. And just recently Dad and I had finally found a wonderful apartment near the Palmwoods to settle in and call home. Now I'm busy running around in our apartment, shoving boxes and boxes of stuff into my room, struggling to find a place for every single item in those boxes.
"Dad! Where's the extra pair of scissors? I kind of lost mine somewhere in my room!", I shouted across the living room.
"They should be in the blue box over at the kitchen counter sweetie!", he hollered back. I skipped and slide towards the counter, only to see the box stacked on top of several boxes.
Who in the world stacked it that high up? Can't they see I'm short! Argh… I balanced on one foot and stretched my arm to grab the blue box. My fingers curled around the edge of the box and I tugged it down, just to have the contents spilled out all over the floor. Frustrated, I started to pick up everything off the floor. That's when I noticed a postcard sticking out of my favourite book.
What is that? I took the postcard from the book, and a gasp escaped my mouth. It's the postcard Kendall wrote to me at Christmas…
Dear Jo,
Merry Christmas! How's New Zealand? I miss you; wish you were here to spend Christmas with me.
Love, Kendall
This postcard was the last one I received, before I broke Kendall's heart. It was the night on Christmas Eve, and our entire crew went to a restaurant to celebrate. Long story short, Daniel got drunk and I had to drive him home, and the paparazzi announced that Daniel and I are secretly dating. I don't know why I didn't deny it when I had the chance, but I didn't say yes either. I just left the rumor hanging.
But it doesn't matter anymore… right? I question myself over and over again as I stared at the postcard in my hand. Then I got up from the floor, and raced out.
And I do want you to know,
I hold you up above everyone,
And I do want you to know,
I think you'd be good to me,
I'll be so good to you…
I ran as fast as I could, running like I never ran before, all the way to the Palmwoods. I rushed inside the lobby, bumping into a few girls, as I headed for the elevator. A crowd formed in front of me, blocking my way, put I pushed and shoved through it, not caring if these people knew who I am, not caring if they wanted autographs, not caring if they later on thought I was mean, pushy, or ignorant, because all I wanted was to get inside that elevator. Finally I stepped inside and my hand trembled as I pushed the number 2. My mind calmed down during the ride up, and I realized that I have no reason to be here.
"Jo?", I heard and I lifted my eyes to see Kendall standing at the doorway. I wasn't sure what to say, so I rushed up to him and kissed him. It wasn't until I felt him smile into the kiss that I pulled back. I looked at him, confused about the smile, only there was no expression on his face.
"Kendall…" I started to say, trying hard this time to speak what's on my mind, "Kendall, I'm sorry and I missed you. I missed you very much." His face remained expressionless, and I focused on his eyes. A sparkle flickered in his eyes, and a smile spread out on his face.
"I missed you too Jo.", he replied, before pulling me into a hug. "You have no IDEA how much I missed you.", he continued on.
"I know," I replied, "I know that you missed me just as much as I missed you."
And I do want you to know,
I hold you up above everyone,
And I do want you to know,
I think you'd be good to me,
I'll be so good to you.
So what did you think? Good? Bad? Review! Don't review! I honestly don't care anymore cuz I'm through with the song! YES IT WORKED! Lol ;)
NEWBIE OUT!