Tom Daniel was an ordinary man with ordinary clothes, ordinary thoughts, an ordinary job, an ordinary schedule, ordinary house, and an ordinary life in general. But one fateful day his life went completely insane, that was the day he lost his job. He totally couldn't understand how this destructively terrible thing had happened to him. He promised himself silently he would return his life to ordinariness-if that was possible since his life had been the same, ordinary, boring life for years and he didn't seem ready for dramatic changes.
He tried everything, he tried being a bank teller, he tried working at a grocery store, he even tried being a "booty call" but nothing seemed right. That is, until he attempted his last resort… babysitting. He found out to his surprise he adored babysitting-he even liked changing diapers! (And you and I both know no-one in their right mind would like doing that!) But he did enjoy it and decided to start operating his own babysitting business.
He felt like a million bucks and faced almost every babysitting challenge thrown at him, turning often whiny little brats into good, loving children willing to obey rules and follow instructions. But his true challenge was yet to come.
The call came around three thirty and Tom was prepared to face whatever challenges awaited him. He sprinted to the phone and answered on the second ring greeting his caller with a friendly and cheerful, "Hello, Tom's babysitting service, I'll turn your children into angels-in a good way." Just kidding that call was just a phone salesman. Ha!
The real call came at exactly five-forty-five A.M. on a Sunday in California. The phone rang hysterically three times before Tom sluggishly picked up due to his being disappointed earlier that day with the telemarketer.
"Hello this is Tom's babysitting service, I'll turn your children into-"
"Okay, whatever, cut the crap. I need a babysitter tonight for my nephew Jake."
"Excuse me sir, you're supposed to plan ahead and-"
"You're hired. How's a down payment of fifty bucks sound?"
"Sir, I'm booked."
"Hello, I'm Charlie Harper. Get over to my house. The address is in the phone book."
"But sir!"
Click!
Ding dong! "I'll get it!", said Charlie with a smile on his face that said he was up to something crazy and mischievous.
"Hello, I'm Tom, the babysitter."
"Great! Get in here."
"Thank you, sir."
"Here's a fifty. Allan, come on!"
"I'm not going," said Allan.
So, after a long and boring talk, Charlie and Allan slid into the Jag and headed out for a night on the town. Allan was complaining all the way and Charlie was explaining to Allan how he hadn't had a girlfriend for eleven years and it was about time he got a little action. As they approached the club Charlie spotted a beautiful woman and was marveling at her amazing appearance when Allan pointed out that she was his ex-wife Judith. They left the club before Judith would notice them and headed to another frequently visited place Charlie new of.
"Okay Jake come over here and sit down," said Tom.
"Can't I just stay sitting where I am and play X-Box 360?" asked Jake.
"No, you will come over to the couch and sit down so that we can talk and learn more about each other."
"Okay," huffed Jake, first grabbing a bag of potato chips before waddlingly stomping over to the couch and dropping like a large sack of potatoes (or shall we say potato chips?) onto the couch.
"I don't like you," said Jake.
"That makes two of us," said Tom.
"So, how'd it go?"
"Jake was the worst child I've ever had to care for in my whole life!" yelled Tom after he ripped open the door when Charlie and Allan returned, "In all my yearsof babysitting I've never met a child who was so horrible!"
"So, I'll see you next week then," said Charlie as he handed Tom a pair of hundred dollar bills, "same time?"
"Yeah, same time." said Tom.
As Tom sulked off to his car, angry at himself for agreeing to return, Jake strolled across the house to stand in the doorway.
"What's up his butt?" he asked with a mouthful of krispy kreme donut.