A/N: Laura and Alix ARE real people. I am Laura. My friend is Alix (also known as Alixstar11 on this website). So we do exist and no, you can not borrow us in any way, shape or form.

Thank you.

We also do not own FNAF in any way, shape or form.

-Undead Killjoy Queen

"Hola, shrubby!"

I smiled when I saw that my friend Alix (also known as Ferdinand The Shrub on my Skype) had picked up on her end and was actually bothering to translate my train of gibberish for once.

"Hello, Laura." She replied in her usual deadpan. We stared at each other for a few awkward, intense moments before we realised that our cameras had not crashed out and we were indeed awkwardly staring at each other and looking like general muppets. She quickly turned on her share screen to show me her latest gem of Five Nights At Freddy's information. I squinted at the screen and attempted to make out the small writing, whilst listening to her rambling in the background.

"Blah, blah, blah, bananas. Orange juice-nutritious." She muttered before I made a small snorting noise which could barely qualify as laughter. I swore that, if I could see her face, she was probably rolling her eyes.

"You got that in one, mate." She smiled, and I realised I'd said that out loud. A couple more awkwardly intense moments between us occurred before I finally remembered why I had skyped her in the first place.

"I found this really cool fanfiction the other day. I think it was called Five Nights At Gerard's. You know...With all of the My Chemical Romance band mates as night guards hiding from the animatronics." I ststaed.

"Sounds pretty cool." She replied in her deadpan.

"Let's just say it involves pop culture references. Including the animatronics being bought from a pub. Which is totally a Hagrid reference, by the way." I babbled, and she laughed.

"Hang on, I've got an idea. How about you write a fan fiction about us two in Five Nights At Freddy's?" She suggested. I grinned.

"Sounds amazing. I'll get writing straight away." I smiled, and so began what was going to be either the bravest or stupidest quest of my life, kind of like the quest you go on when deciding whether or not taking the toast out of the toaster with a fork is a sensible idea.

I headed straight to my dinosaur of a computer and powered up, all whilst talking to Alix over skype, gathering ideas for our story and also taking a few very good quotes from her. Eventually, we said our goodbyes and I continued writing, up until the point when I fell asleep.

When I awoke, I was in a leather swivel chair, not unlike the ones found at car dealerships, with Alix sitting next to me.

"What the bloody hell's going on?" Were the first words that escaped my brain and fell out of my lips in a messed-up jumble. This had to be a dream. There was only one place I could be, judging from the poor lighting, the general odour of Italian cooking and the annoying little bugger that was the fan in the corner.

Freddy Fazbear's.

I immediately turned to look at Alix, who had a shocked expression on her face.

"What's gone on?" I asked. She shrugged.

"I assume there was some rip in the space-time continuum-" She began, before the sound of the phone ringing cut her off. I picked it up and grimaced when I heard the all-too-familiar voice of Phone Guy coming out at us through the bloody awful signal.

"Hello, hello? Uh, I wanted to record a message for you to help you get settled in on your first night. Um, I actually worked in that office before you. I'm finishing up my last week now, as a matter of fact. So I know it can be a bit-" He spoke before Alix hung up.

"What was that for? He could have provided us with some useful information!" I stated.

"Laura, you idiot, we've played this game like a billion times. We know everything there is to know about it. He can't give us more than we already know. You complete and utter plank." She nearly hissed, and it became apparent that she was no longer looking at me, her attention focused on the cameras which I quickly realised we'd forgotten to check. Oh bugger.

I looked at the clock. Still midnight. It was the 21st century, for crying out loud. Surely this thing could have counted in minutes, not hours. Maybe it would take the pressure off. I leaned over to look at the cameras, gulping a little when I realised that none of them had moved. This was the first night after all. Things usually got a bit more fast-paced after that.

"Any updates on the camera?" I asked Alix when I looked away for a second to study the wall posters. She shook her head.

"Nothing. None of the little buggers have moved. We're safe for now. I mean, come on, we've got through night one millions of times before. It's easy. All we have to do is wait it out." She smiled a little and I nodded a little. She was right, I guessed. I just needed to calm down. The whirring of that stupid fan wasn't helping either. No wonder the power drained so quickly. They had a fan in the room that didn't even serve a purpose.

I decided that the best course of action was to unplug the fan but, alas, it was jammed tightly into the wall. I could hear several squeaks and assumed that it was the fan plug coming loose but, sadly, that didn't turn out to be the case, as I found out when Alix tapped me on the shoulder to show me something on the desk.

"Look who it is." She grinned and held the thing aloft. Cuppycake. Of all the things in the world. So that was where the squeaking came from! She tossed it to me and got back to checking the cameras, quickly instructing me to turn the door light on for the left door. I did so and, much to my relief, there wasn't anything there. Wiping the sweat from her brow, she instructed me to do it again.

That was when I saw the lilac face at the door.

My initial reaction was to throw Cuppycake-as I had affectionately named the sweet plushie-at Bonnie, only to have him drop to the floor and roll back to me as I looked up to see Alix shut the left door quickly, Bonnie's eyes following her, a look of almost annoyed confusion on his face. I held the cupcake by its fabric candle and sighed.

"I can't get rid of you, can I?" I muttered. It shook its head and I almost dropped it to the floor in shock.

"No, ma'am, you can't." It replied and, that time, I actually did drop it to the floor.

"It speaks!" I gasped, pointing to Alix, who furrowed her brow.

"Yeah, we've established that. Now hurry up. We've got more pressing matters to deal with. Such as what the hell we're going to do if one of them actually gets into the room." She replied. "Which they won't, as it's already 5 AM."

"And what does 5 AM have anything to do with it? I think it was daylight savings this weekend. This clock could be an hour slow, for all we know." I stated. She rolled her eyes at me, as if to say stop being a pillock. I ignored her as I ducked down to retrieve the cupcake, dusting off my knees as I did so. Alix had a worried look on her face, and I immediately began to mentally question her about what exactly was going on.

My answer came in the form of a high-pitched screech from the corridor and the sound of Foxy crashing into Bonnie. I turned the door light on-silently thanking heavens that we had left the door shut-and watched from a small gap as Bonnie and Foxy engaged in a vicious brawl. I averted my eyes to look at Alix for a moment, who had her fingers in her ears, before I turned back to discover a rather disgruntled Foxy laying on his front, back pinned down by Bonnie's left foot. I occasionally heard what I thought was muffled cursing-although I doubted it as they didn't appear to have the intelligence to be sentient-and the sound of a guitar being sent down and onto Foxy's head. Occasionally, the fox would attempt to look up, only to have the stringed instrument brought down onto his skull again.

"Well then," I smiled to Alix, "I doubt our fox friend will be bothering us any more."

She nodded at that and pointed to the clock on the wall, which slowly ticked over to 6 AM. The jubilant sounds of children cheering echoed around us and I was sure Cuppycake had started to vomit confetti down my t-shirt. I quickly dropped the cake in disgust and he burped up a party hat before scuttling off under the desk, tiny spider legs working overtime.

That was when the power went out and we were plunged into total darkness, the cheers becoming faint whispers trailing off into the gloom.