Title: You Are the Best Thing That's Ever Been Mine
Author: snarkysweetness
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Melinda, Skye, Koenig, & Coulson; Philinda with mentions of canon Skyeward
Summary: Skye was the flame keeping them all together and Melinda was determined to keep her from burning out.
Warnings: You will need tissues.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Author's Notes: I have feelings. And when we get a MaySkye hug in canon, the screaming you hear will be the battle cry of my death.
"What do you mean she's missing?" Melinda was sure the entire world could hear the pounding in her chest but she didn't care; the only thing she cared about was Skye and the throbbing in her ears would have to be ignored for now.
The poor agent, whose name she'd already forgotten, looked terrified for a moment before sputtering a response. "I mean I can't find…I haven't seen-"
"Her lanyard was used to access the garage," Billy offered and she didn't bother to thank him other than giving a nod in his direction.
She did however take a moment to put the fear of God into the young stray who'd been assigned to keep an eye on her flight risk. "Don't do that again."
Melinda didn't emphasize but her meaning was clear; don't make me think one of my kids is in danger.
She knew exactly where she'd find Skye did nothing to ease the panic coursing through her body. Fitz was in a coma, Ward was drugged and tied to his bed to keep him from attempting suicide again, Jemma hadn't slept in days, and Trip was falling apart in an effort to tend to the needs of everyone else around him.
And Phil…
Well, she couldn't think of him right now.
There was nothing she could do for Fitz and the thought of Ward made her sick to her stomach so she chose to focus on the things she could control: make sure Jemma ate three times a day, make sure Trip took time to sleep, and to make sure Skye didn't act on her instincts and run.
Melinda wasn't sure the thought had even crossed her mind but it was her biggest fear. The thought of her being on her own, of her being in danger scared her more than she cared to admit. And even worse? The thought of losing her was the worst thing she could ever imagine.
She found Skye in her old bunk, toying with the frayed edges of the blanket she'd brought with her in the tiny box that held what little possessions she'd had when recruited. Her eyes were wet, her cheeks puffy, and there were still tears on her chin.
Melinda fought off the urge to lecture her on taking off and instead slipped into the bunk and took a seat on the edge of her bed.
"You missed dinner. And lunch. And breakfast."
Melinda couldn't help the firmness of her tone but she hoped Skye understood she was worried more than angry.
"I wasn't hungry," Skye muttered and the despair in her voice eased Melinda's guilt about lying to her about Ward. Phil was right; she couldn't handle this. Not now; maybe not ever. She'd been through enough in her short life and they didn't need to add to it by telling her what he'd attempted to do. That information would break her.
Especially now, when they didn't know whether or not Fitz would make it.
Jemma had insisted they disregard the D.N.R. in his file on account of Skye having erased them all but Melinda knew if he didn't wake soon…
She instinctively reached for Skye's hand, not wanting to think about that scenario.
"You need to talk about it."
Melinda understood all too well how unhealthy it was to hold things in. Skye was the opposite of her, always wearing her heart on her sleeve, but she was different now. She'd shut down and while Melinda didn't blame her she also couldn't let this destroy her.
Skye was the flame keeping them all together and Melinda was determined to keep her from burning out.
"I'm fine," Skye mumbled, turning away from her and clutching her pillow tightly.
Melinda sighed and lay beside her, propping herself up on her elbow. "Liar."
"It's…" Melinda could see Skye battling with her emotions and she reached out to clutch her hand.
"Skye-"
"It's stupi-you wouldn't…"
"Is it about Ward?"
Anyone with eyes could see how much Skye loved him and it made Melinda hate him more. He didn't deserve her love and no matter what he did Skye couldn't turn off her feelings. He'd broken her heart and Melinda would never forgive him for that.
Melinda expected her to answer with an 'Am I that obvious?' but she surprised her.
"Yes and…no. It's just…" Skye glanced back at her, biting her lip shyly and then looked away quickly. "I…" Skye's chest heaved and she struggled with a sob before forcing the words out. "My whole life I lived knowing I wasn't wanted and no one ever…he was the first person who loved me. At least…I thought he did."
Before Skye could continue Melinda took her by the chin and looked her square in the eyes. "He does. Grant Ward is a lot of things; liar being up there, but you can't fake that. You didn't see him when you were dying. He's a terrible human being and you deserve better and maybe it doesn't help but he loves you."
She left out the part about him constantly begging to see her. She didn't need to know that; she had enough on her plate without the burden of guilt on her shoulders.
"And you're wrong; he wasn't the first person to love you."
Skye looked down, embarrassed. "But he was the first person to say…well, he didn't really say it. I mean, kind of…I mean, he made it clear he did and no one's ever-
No one's ever said they love me before. And I see Jemma holding Fitz and telling him she loves him and to wake up and I think about how if his mom was here she'd be doing the same and them I'm so angry with Ward and then I remember no one's ever done that for me before and I know I'm stupid and there's so many other things to cry about but I just wish I'd had that.
All I ever wanted was someone who would make me feel loved and like I mattered and I thought I had that and with everything going on that hurts the most. Because I could handle everything else if I still had that."
Skye wiped at her eyes and glanced up, looking ashamed. "I'm sorry, I'm a me-"
Before Skye could finish Melinda pulled her against her chest.
She understood. Her own mother had been cold and even though Melinda knew she loved her she'd always longed to be shown. It was why she'd rushed into marriage at a young age. And she wasn't good at showing emotions, not since Bahrain, but she couldn't let Skye fall into the dark place she herself had once been in. A place that, had it not been for Phil, she would have joined permanently.
"I love you," Melinda said firmly, holding Skye tightly against her chest. She pressed a kiss to the top of her head and moved a hand into her hair. "Coulson loves you. Fitz, Simmons, and Trip love you. We're never going to abandon you. And Ward…trust me, if he had a choice, he wouldn't either.
I wish I could change the past for you but I can't. But I refuse to let you believe that you're not loved. You have a family now and we love you."
Melinda remembered the years she'd endured feeling empty. The feeling that she couldn't go on. The guilt of waking up every morning only to keep from destroying her best friend. Skye deserved better. And Melinda knew that was what she'd lived with her whole life and it made her so angry she felt she'd explode with it.
Skye was the best person she'd ever met and she'd known Phil Coulson for most of her life.
This girl deserved the world and if Melinda ever found the people who had killed her parents, leaving her alone in this world, she would kill them with her bare hands.
"Your parents didn't abandon you, Skye. And S.H.I.E.L.D. was always there for you. Whenever the pain of your past gets to be too much just remember that you were never really alone and you're never going to be alone again."
Skye sniffled against her chest and held her tightly around the middle.
"I love you too," Skye whispered, still crying.
"I know," Melinda answered, holding her closer.
She rubbed Skye's back gently, letting the younger girl cry it out. She wasn't sure how much time passed but eventually they lay there, Skye's back against Melinda's chest, fingers entwined, while Melinda recounted a story from her days in The Academy.
"And then the lights came up and the entire auditorium saw him as naked as the day he was born."
There were tears in Skye's eyes but this time it was from giggles.
"Melinda, you swore to never tell her that story."
They glanced up to find Phil in the doorway and Skye buried her face in her pillow, her body convulsing with laughter. "Oh God, the mental image-"
"Hmm, yes." Melinda remembered the image fondly but Skye was very much disgusted by the idea of her mentor naked.
Phil's eyes went to Skye's still puffy cheeks before he and Melinda shared a look. He was worried about Skye but he didn't say anything. Instead he forced them to make room so he could sit on the edge of the mattress.
"I have some good news," he announced and Skye shot up frantically.
"Is it Fitz? Is he awake?"
Phil shook his head sadly. "No, but there's brain activity. His doctors think there's a chance he will." An improvement to their initial assessment.
Skye covered her mouth for a moment, the tears returning, before throwing her arms around him. "He's going to be okay?" She cried, sobbing.
Phil held her close and kissed her temple. "We don't know, Skye, but it looks promising."
Not wanting to ruin the mood (they hadn't seen Skye smile in days), Phil pulled away from Skye with a smile. "I know she's trying to come off like the prank master but do you want to hear about the time Fury walked in on her tied naked to a shower rod?"
Despite her complaint that they had too many naked prank stories, Skye sat through three before they looked down to find her passed out against Phil's chest. Melinda smiled and pushed Skye's hair away from her face. Phil sat halfway propped up against a pillow but maneuvered around so Skye could rest comfortably and Melinda could lie next to them.
Their hands somehow found each other and Melinda ignored the lightheadedness his touch brought on.
"She's going to be okay," she whispered, knowing he was worried.
"I hope so," he muttered, watching Skye sleep.
"What is it?"
Sometimes she felt she knew him better than he knew himself and right now she could hear his brain churning.
"I feel like an idiot," he admitted, meeting her eyes. She furrowed her brows but let him continue; she didn't have to verbalize that he was an idiot; they both knew it to be true. She just wanted to hear why he was this time.
"The moment I met you I was head over heels but I was young and stupid and I let you get away from me. We could have been happy, had a family…Skye…I know she's not ours but she feels like she is and I wish I could go back and do things differently."
Melinda knew he regretted not having a family and she regretted marrying someone else but they couldn't change the past.
And even if they could…
"I don't.
If we'd left this behind we would have never found her. She's worth missing out on that life."
She'd fought against it so hard in the beginning but she knew in her heart Skye was theirs. Giving birth to someone didn't make you a mother; it was everything that came next.
"You're right."
Melinda didn't know what it was like to hold a child she'd brought into this world and love it. She hadn't been meant for that life (despite her many attempts at it), but she didn't think any mother loved a child as much as she loved Skye.
She knew Phil felt the same way.
And to think, Melinda had spent years thinking Phil Coulson was the love of her life.
Little did she know she just hadn't met their daughter yet.
"Lin, I-"
"Don't, Phil."
He couldn't do this, not now. Not when everything had fallen apart.
"I-"
Melinda was spared his ill-timed love confession when Skye began whimpering in her sleep. She'd been suffering nightmares since they'd arrived at the base and tonight was no different.
Phil tried to calm her but Skye fumbled around until she found Melinda and Melinda did her best to hide a smug smile (and failed) when she realized Skye was choosing her over Phil.
She pulled Skye against her and kissed her forehead, shushing her until she relaxed.
"I love you, mom," Skye muttered in her sleep and Melinda didn't hesitate in her response.
"Mommy's got you, sweetheart."
Skye remained asleep but a moment later began crying softly for her father.
"Shh, daddy's here," Phil whispered, wrapping both arms around the pair. He pressed his lips to Skye's temple, calming her. "I love you, Skye."
"Love you too, A.C.," she replied softly.
Skye began breathing evenly moments later and they knew she was out again.
"Lin-"
Melinda sighed and looked up at him. Not this crap. It could wait until they didn't have a broken kid between them and four others they didn't know how to fix. Not to mention their organization was in shambles.
She loved him and she now knew he loved her; somewhere between The Clairvoyant and finding him carving in the walls she'd figured it out. And because it had taken so long she didn't mind waiting it out until they had the time to deal with it properly.
"Phil-"
He didn't give her the chance to protest because he pressed his lips to hers like the stubborn jackass he was.
And she hated to admit it but it was a good kiss.
A good kiss they had no business having right now.
"I love you," he confessed before she could process said kiss. And because she hadn't slept in days she freed one hand from Skye's grip to pull him closer by the tie so she could kiss him again.
It was a good thing Skye was out because if she woke to find her pseudo-parents making out above her head she'd probably be scarred for life.
"You have terrible timing," she muttered grumpily as she broke away, her heart pounding.
"But you love me?" He asked with a goofy grin.
She rolled her eyes. "Yes, I love you. But you already knew that."
"Hmm?" He blinked dreamily, the goofy grin slipping. "Sorry, I feel a little dizzy; can you repeat that?"
She gave him a look that shut him up but didn't get rid of the stupid smirk on his face.
"Once all of these kids are sleeping regularly and eating again I'm going to give you a real reason to be dizzy, Phillip."
"I can't wait."
"Oh my God, you guys are so gross," Skye groaned. "Stop," she whined, reaching up to push their faces apart.
Melinda expected to find Skye wide-awake but her eyes were still closed. She swatted at them once more before turning to her side, pulling her blanket over her head, and mumbling something about them finding a room that wasn't hers before drifting back to sleep.
Even though the bed was far too small for the three of them there was no way in hell either one of them planned to leave her; not tonight.
"Sorry, we'll stop traumatizing you," Phil promised as he moved the pillow from his back to underneath her head so she could sleep comfortably.
"Good," she huffed, relaxing into her pillow. "It's about time you two, Jesus; and Trip owes me five bucks. I want it in the morning."
Skye was still half-asleep and Melinda hoped she didn't remember this tomorrow. If she did she would never let them live it down and she hated to admit it but maybe it was what Skye needed; something to cheer her up.
Melinda wrapped her arms around her groggy Mini-Me with a chuckle and kissed her cheek. "I'll make sure he gives it to you, now sleep, baby girl."
"I'm…" Skye didn't finish because she was out again. Melinda had never told them but both Skye and Fitz often spoke in their sleep and once they'd fallen asleep on the couch watching Friends and had an entire conversation.
Her heart clenched because there was a possibility she could never witness it again so she held Skye closer and didn't protest when Phil began stroking her hair.
Skye was safe and maybe she wasn't okay but she would be; they'd make sure of that. And Fitz would wake up; he had to. And they would deal with what came next with him. Trip's attempts to smile through his grief would eventually stop being a way to get through the day. And once he and Skye joined forces to take care of Jemma she too would be okay; they would make sure of it.
Their tiny little family was broken but it would be okay; because Skye was the heart of it and she was now mumbling about buying Fitz a monkey.
Melinda smiled.
As long as Skye was okay they rest of them would follow.
And her kid could bounce back from anything.
"I love you."
"Love you too, Lin."
"I was talking to Skye.
Idiot," she added with a smile.
"But you still love me?"
She resisted the urge to shake her head.
"Yes, but not as much as I do her."
Phil smiled knowingly. "I think I can live with that."
Melinda toyed with the ends of Skye's hair and watched her sleep with a smile on her face. "Good," she whispered, her eyes never leaving Skye, "because you're going to have to."