AN. A sequel to First Loves -Where Will and Alicia are in their forties, struggling to maintain a marriage along with their three children. If you're new, reading the whole of First Loves is unnecessary. I can't promise regular updates, due to the craziness of life and study but hang in there. Comments of opinions would be much appreciated!
I don't own the good wife, all rights go to the writers. And I also don't own the image icon.
She watched with fear as her daughter stormed out of her room with her hand placed above her stomach, followed by her husband, Will stepped out of the room, shock and complete astonishment through his features as he stared at her with distain. "You knew?" he whispered to Alicia.
She nodded solemnly as she allowed herself to gaze towards the hard floors. The sound of her daughter's voice interrupted her, and brought her attention to her as she stood at the bottom of the staircase. "You said he would understand!"
"Honey, he does. It's just going to take time. For all of us. Come on, let's talk about this."
"So you can tell me how much of a mistake it is? How much I've ruined the family's reputation? I'm not going anywhere with you!"
"Lenora Alice Gardner, do not talk to your mother like that." Will's raised and livid voice rose among the empty house. Alicia sighed to herself and grasped the wall for support, she wasn't nearly as young enough for this, her times of living life wild and free as a twenty seven year old were over. Her seventeen year old daughter who currently stood at the bottom of the staircase arguing with her father was proof that raising three children, in the time space of seventeen years brought many distress upon her shoulders, they were her entire world, but their minds and intellect were too far stretched for Alicia's internal conflicts. Lenora's 'situation' was enough evidence that she was very much like her father, making decisions without thinking of the consequences was Will's department. She often wondered if Will took the time to notice, the stack of baseball gear that belonged to him and Lenora only, was living proof that they were presumably identical if not maternally related.
"if I had told you earlier you would have been disappointed in me!" the teenager said towards her father. "Why do you think I broke it down to mom first?"
"I hold just as much trust with you as your mother does! You are well aware that this is a matter worth discussing between the two of us. Asking your mother to lie to me was out of your league young lady!"
"Out of my league?" she gaped. "You and mom haven't slept in the same bed for two whole weeks!" Alicia tensed at the mention of another conflict that was circling in the downfall of their marriage. "Did you seriously think that I wouldn't notice? Zach and Grace may be too young to recognize but I am not stupid!
"That's enough!" Alicia finally spoke. Disrupting the revelation that was exposed for the first time in the walls of their home. "Baby, we can talk about this later okay? Right now, I think we all need a break to think about things, thoroughly."
"No. I'm going to stay at Stacey's for the night."
"Hey, when did we discuss that? I don't recall you asking permission from me nor your mother."
"You can't even remember your own wedding anniversary dad. And this time, don't follow me!" she said as she opened the front door and slammed it shut, rather loudly. Alicia stood there in a state of momentary shock. She felt as if she had just received a slap in the face, from her own daughter, she had spent two months supporting her fully, allowing her to take as much time as possible, holding her when necessary, she was beginning to recognize that with each day that passed by, she was more or less beginning to understand her own mothers internal struggle with raising two, intelligent but also scratchy children such as herself and Owen. Everyone knew the chaos Alicia created once upon a time during those years as a teenager falling even deeper with her high school sweetheart. It was another concept that played a part in heightening the pressure on Will and Alicia. Everybody, from Will's business partners, to her own friends, knew how long their connection originated from, therefore they expected the marriage to be boundless and unlimited at all times, however, what remained between the depths of the house was distinct from others knowledge of their relationship at the moment.
She sighed, and glanced up to see Will staring at her in a gaze full of distain and pain. "I can't believe you lied to me for two months." He murmured.
"What did you expect me to do? She needed me, she begged me not to tell anyone especially you, and your reaction, was one close to what she had expected."
"I can't deal with this right now Alicia, I'm not in the mood for an argument." She watched him as he stormed off downstairs and grasped his jacket that she had only ironed that morning.
"So you're just going to leave? Is this not important enough for you to stay? Or is a drink with your colleague's downtown more important than your own family?"
"Here we go again. Apparently I have a drinking problem."
"God Will, grow up. Our daughter is struggling to form herself between society and here you are, avoiding the need to face up to the situation, just as she did a minute ago." She watched as he paused at the doorway, his head towards the ground. Grabbing his keys, he looked over his shoulder, and for a moment, she could see he was regretting it, but followed his own direction anyway. She wanted to laughed. Like father like daughter.
"I have to head over to the office. I'll be a few hours."
Once the sound of his car drove up the gravel of the driveway, she sat against the staircase, and placed her head in her hands. She wasn't usually exposed with her emotions, the only people who were able to see Alicia break down was her husband and Liz. But neither one were here at the moment, one was a doctor who worked long hours, preventing much needed time with her best friend, and Will, was on his way to expose his own hidden emotions, most likely on the sofa in his office drowning his sorrows to Diane.
When Wills mother arrived with Zach and Grace later that Saturday afternoon, she had just dressed herself after a shower, her eyes were still puffy, heated red eyes, and red cheeks. She put on her best smile as the voices of her youngest children echoed the front house. She made her way downstairs and smiled at her son. Zach was in his first year of high school, whilst Grace was only ten. There was a two year gap between the two siblings, however, she was often reminded of how much their looks resembled their father. Zach had her hair, and somewhat of her father's features and humour, but Grace was all Will. Most people often chose Lenora as a resemblance to Alicia, a vision in beauty of long, wavy locked brunette hair.
"Mom! Mom! I received best player of the year!" Grace held up her trophy, Alicia wasn't surprised, Grace had always been sporty, she just never had any interest in baseball, which sometimes annoyed Will, even though she knew deep down, he was proud as a father to watch his little girl kick a boys soccer team who was twice her age.
She wrapped her arms around the ten year old and squeezed her tight. "Oh, that's so great baby. I'm so proud of you." Followed by pressing her lips against her son's forehead. Zach was in that age where embracing your fellow parents wasn't exactly the most attractive thing to do, and so she had to remind herself to keep distance when he needed. It was a new concept that she had to become accustomed to, Lenora had always been welcoming to cuddles, not necessarily in public, but she wasn't afraid to climb into her parent's bed at age fourteen.
"Where's daddy?" Grace asked after Alicia removed their coats.
"Dad's gone out for a while. He'll be back later." She ignored the intense look Nora threw at her as she noticed the colour of Alicia's eyes. Alicia had underestimated her mother in laws ability to read through others, the moment she had made eye contact, she knew the older woman could see it.
"Zach honey, why don't you help me in the kitchen? Grace, you can head upstairs and shower, and for the last time, avoid throwing your white washing with the reds!" she said as the ten year old rushed up the staircase.
"Honey, I can take over with your mom." Nora placed a hand on Zach's shoulder.
"Are you sure? Do you need anything else mom?" She smiled at him and ran her hand through his hair. "Just take the rubbish out and you're finished."
She engaged herself by pulling the veges out of the refrigerator and chopping them one by one. As soon as Zach had returned from outside, and headed upstairs, Nora broke the silence. The silence that Alicia hadn't even acknowledged at this point in time, her mind was someplace else. She barely noticed the mess she was creating among the chopping board.
"Where's nora?"
"She's staying at a friend's."
"And Will?"
"I have no idea." She manoeuvred herself towards the window and rinsed the lettuce in the sink, she moved on to chopping the carrots rather quickly.
"Are you two alright?" she asked hesitantly.
"yea, of course." –she lied. She knew it was wrong, but she wasn't sure how to answer. If she mentioned the cause of the argument, than her own daughter would never forgive her.
"Are you sure?" Glancing up, she bit her lip and shrugged. "I don't know. Will is… Will, I can't push on it otherwise I'll push him too far."
"Too far?"
"Were just… we're going through a tough time at the moment."
"Sweetheart, if you keep doing that you're going to cut yourself." She furrowed her brows at the meaning behind her words, and glanced up to see Nora's gaze rested on the chopping board and her hands.
Recognizing what she meant, she gave up on the carrots and threw them into a boll. She sighed in process. Less than a year ago, she was happy, her husband was happy, and the kids were happy. She was aware that she was rather fortunate than others, she had a stable occupation, her kids were healthy, and she was married to a man that filled all her possible hopes and dreams, showered her with gifts, and attention. However, what he was oblivious to was the simplistic things in what she wanted. All she craved for was a night where he could arrive home early, and snuggle with her against the sofa and watch a movie.
She couldn't even recall the last time they had spent an hour, alone. His job was demanding, she understood it. After her father had passed away more than a decade ago, Will had to hold the weight of leading the firm with Diane. Lenora was five when he was offered name partnership.
She distracted herself at the dinner table by listening to Zach and Grace's stories, Will had failed to show up, but it hadn't really surprised anyone. Once his mother had left, and Zach and Grace were tucked under the sheets. She climbed into bed and sighed in defeat.
Raising a family was hard, but maintaining a marriage was even more difficult.
She heard his footsteps patter up the staircase around eleven thirty at night. It wasn't long before he climbed under the blankets. His breathing was shallow, she could feel his gaze on her head from behind, but remained still. She wasn't in the mood for a conversation, or worse, another argument.
"Alicia?" he asked hesitantly, afraid of stirring her awake. He too, was on pins and needles, she could feel it.
"Leesh.." he murmured.
She opened her eyes in the darkness of their bedroom, pleased that she was facing the nightstand so he wouldn't have to see her tears.
How had they gotten to this? Things had escalated quickly since their fallout months prior. She wasn't willing to give up on her marriage, but after forty two years of knowing her mother, she finally understood her.