Things to know before you read (a small recap):

Amanda doesn't know Fin is aware of her and Olivia's relationship. Fin is the only one who knows about them. Fin was with Melinda once upon a time ago, even though she was married. Amanda was raped by Patton. Amanda had an abortion after Patton raped her. Amanda is a gambler. Amanda has been going to therapy but is finally doing okay. Olivia knows all of the above.

There is no Frannie (Sorry). Amanda and Olivia started out as friends, then friends with benefits, and are now dating. Olivia likes pain during sex sometimes but not often and Amanda is aware of this.

If you want to read more of their relationship, feel free to read the prequel story "Life". But let me warn you, the beginning is a little rough because it's when I first started writing years ago but it gets better.

LIGHT TRIGGER WARNING just in case.

This chapter starts with Lewis. I'm not going to go into much detail as to what happens between Olivia and Lewis. I'm basically going by the show, but I'll change things up a bit according to her and Amanda's relationship. As far as her injuries, they are mostly the same. I personally wish they had gone into more detail about the marks on her body, the burns and the scars so I will be doing that, but most of it will be an 'after the fact' type thing. I'm not up for writing most of the things that happened between Lewis and Olivia.

Please forgive any typos that I've missed. I have no beta.

Amanda was jogging in the park when she saw him. Another jogger's dog took off beside her when she gave chase. The dog got to him before she could but never-the-less, she tackles and cuffed him. A photography had pictures of the incident, making a case hadn't been hard. His fingerprints being burned off was the blonde's first clue that something was wrong, and she'd called in the squad on their day off.

Olivia had grilled him and Nick had watched, not liking the tactic she was using. He never liked it when she flirted and flaunted herself in front of their perps to get a rise out of them, yet she seemed like the only one who could actually make that tactic work. It didn't matter though, the confession was only hear-say and hypothetical, especially since he had no lawyer, so they couldn't use it as evidence.

They'd interviewed his ex-roommate who seemed to be fucked up but in a different way, anyhow, he was scared shitless of their perp.

He was a sick, twisted man. They all knew it.

Olivia had worked hard to get him. She'd used every tactic she knew and it had been a while since she'd flaunted herself, her body, in front of a perpetrator to get him to talk. She'd used her words and had told him the things he'd want to do to her body, described them immensely. It was basically dirty talk in his world, foreplay.

In fact, the last time she'd done this, it'd been with a perp that had gone after Babs Duffy. Then, she'd been pretending to be a lesbian. Now, she was pretending to be straight. Olivia figured she was technically bisexual since she was truly attracted to men and women but she didn't care to clarify for anyone.

Then the lab fucked up and he got off on a technicality. Everyone was pissed and disappointed. He'd raped, tortured, and killed so many women across so many states, it seemed impossible that he had gotten off so easily.

Everyone in the squad was upset. Cragen had sent her home, told her not to come back to the squad room for a couple of day and that it wasn't an option.

Amanda had pulled a double the next day, needing to busy herself. This case had been a lot, taken a toll on her. She needed to keep herself and her mind busy. She was getting the itch to gamble but didn't want to attend a meeting nor did she want to bother Olivia with her needs right now, knowing the brunette needed time to get herself together as well. It'd been hard on both of them. A major loss, possibly their biggest one yet. They were together a lot, but it was also important to have their separate personal time.

The blonde had no idea of what her girlfriend had come home to that night, there was no way she could possible know.

Olivia herself was surprised to find him, William Lewis, in her apartment.

She'd thought it was Amanda, that maybe she'd decided not to take the double-shift after all and had just needed some down time with Olivia. It's not like they had had much down time lately anyways. Sure, they'd kept up their sex life. Here lately though, it was quick fucks here and there. At least it was working between them and they spent most nights together.

So, when Olivia rounded the kitchen counter to see what her girlfriend was up to, she was horrifically surprised to see the gun pointed in her face. Immediately, she began beating herself up for not drawing her weapon, which had been her first gut instinct but she had ignored it because now she was practically sharing an apartment with another woman.

"Welcome home Detective Benson," he had said to her with the biggest smile on his face. He looked like a kid in a candy store.

She stared at him in slight disbelief but she'd be damned if she faltered and let him see her fear. Olivia had remained strong and tall, even though she'd personally studied his casefiles and knew what was most likely to come. Her endorphins kicked in and so did the adrenalin.

"Lewis." She'd whispered to him, nodding her head maybe to confirm it to herself that he was really here and that she needed to brace herself for what was to come.

"That's right, sweetheart." He'd replied and she took a deep breath. If he wanted a fight, she'd give him one. It was on.

And so it had begun.

When Amanda still hadn't heard from Olivia two days later, she mentioned it to Fin. He'd told her she was probably stuck in her head.

They'd decided to go pick up some coffee and dinner to bring to Olivia. Fin knew Olivia had been upset at the case being thrown out. Amanda knew Fin wouldn't be suspicious of their relationship, to him it'd just seem like two friends bringing their colleague food. Olivia still hadn't gotten around to telling Amanda that Fin knew about them, she just hadn't known how to yet.

They had known something was wrong the instant they saw the mail piled outside of Olivia's door. Amanda looked at the pile questioningly and Fin whipped out his key to Olivia's apartment after he tried to open the door but found it locked. Amanda took a moment, realizing that Fin also had a key to her girlfriend's apartment but it made sense. Fin had been her friend a long time and she was sure that at one time, Elliot had also had a key. The food and coffee sat on the floor as the two of them tried to figure out what was going on.

Fin pushed the door open but Amanda had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach and she moved past him in a heartbeat.

She walked into the kitchen and gapped at the state of the apartment. Everything was messed up, thrown everywhere. There was blood on the carpet and the smell of vodka and burnt flesh had filled her nose. Amanda knew Lewis had her, he had her girlfriend. She hunched forward with one hand over her mouth and the other on her stomach, knowing she was going to be sick.

Fin was behind her instantly. He put his strong arms around her mid-section and picked her up, backtracking until he reached the hallway.

He swallowed hard as he sat her down.

"It's a crime scene," he told her silently as he held her hair back for her while she threw up on the hallway carpet, "we can't contaminate it…"

He held her hair with one hand as he pulled his phone out to call the captain. Fin glanced at their take-out food sitting in its plastic bags on the other side of the hallway. Might as well throw them out now. Neither one was hungry anymore, not after that.

Cragen had told Fin he'd be there as soon as possible with Nick and that CSU were on their way.

Once Amanda was done, she wiped her mouth on her sleeve and stood up, walking down the hall, stopping a few feet away and bracing herself on the wall.

Fin walked down the hall after her. He was in shock himself but he knew he needed to keep it together for Amanda. It's what Olivia would want him to do.

Amanda was crying, bracing herself against the wall. Fin walked in front of her to where he was facing her.

"I know how close you are with Liv," Fin stated. "But Cragen is gonna pull you from the case if you're like this when he shows up…" he told her. Fin cared about Amanda, he didn't like to see her hurting and he was worried as hell about Olivia.

"I'm fine…" she stated, looking at him and wiped the tears off her face.

"No, you're not." He told her squarly. "Your girlfriend just got abducted by one of the sickest psychos we've ever seen in America… you ain't okay in no form…" he told her honestly. The cat had to come out of the bag sometime.

Amanda stared at him in surprise with wide eyes that were red from crying.

"Fin…" she whispered and her eyes began to water without her consent. She was silent for a moment as she looked at the ground, contemplating her next move. Too many things were happening at once. She felt like she was caught in a whirlwind of bad things.

"How long have you known?" she asked, looking to him.

He would have smiled at her if he wasn't so grim about what Olivia was going through at the moment. He didn't know where she was, but he knew what was probably happening to her. "Liv told me a little while ago… I was having a moment and took some things the wrong way. She blurted it out before she could stop herself, she was trying to reassure me that she trusted me and went into a full on panic attack…" he told her. "She felt bad for outtin' y'all to me… it was taking her some time to figure out how to tell you…"

Amanda nodded in understanding. She was numb, probably going into shock. She couldn't be mad at Olivia even if she wanted to be, and she didn't want to be. Fin was one of Olivia's best friends. The blonde had figured if they told people, that he would be the first anyways. It was ironic really, almost comforting. She was about to enter a storm and if Olivia hadn't spilled the beans to Fin, then Amanda would have no one to help her through it and keep her grounded. Sure, he'd still be there for her, but he wouldn't have known the extent of Amanda's pain. She wouldn't have been able to fully confide in him.

"Fin," Amanda started. "What's happening to her?"

The blondes face contorted as she fully lost control of her emotions just thinking about Olivia and what she's been going through. They'd both read the files on Lewis. They knew his MO and what he liked to do to victims.

"She's been with him for two days already, Fin!" Amanda cried.

He engulfed her in a hug quickly to try and help her calm down. The last thing they needed were Olivia's nosey neighbors stepping into the hallway with them.

"She's a fighter, you know that better than anyone. She's opened up to you more than she ever opened up to Elliot. We'll find her." He told her, but that's where his promise ended. He couldn't promise that she'd be okay… or even alive. He focused on the blonde rather than the brunette. He needed to keep his mind busy, otherwise he'd end up breaking too.

He held her tight. Her hands fisted his shirt as she tried to keep her body up right.

"Fin… what if he's… what if…" Amanda tried to mumble into his shoulder, she couldn't take it anymore. Her knees buckled but she didn't go anywhere. Fin had one arm tight around her waist and the other was across her back. He wasn't going to let her fall.

"I gotcha… it's gonna be okay…" he whispered to her. Fin knew she was thinking about what was happening to Olivia. In a way, they both knew this would be worse than what had happened to Amanda. Yeah, Amanda's rape had been terrible but they both knew the character that William Lewis was, the sadist he was. "Until we find her, until she gets back, you're gonna stay with me."

Amanda's feet were firmly on the ground now. She was somewhat stable but she still leaned into him.

Eventually, the younger woman pulled back. She protested immediately. "I'm not staying with you." She stated firmly.

"Yeah, you are." He told her, and he wasn't taking no for an answer. "Whether it's while we're on the case, going home for some shut-eye, or at the precinct, you're gonna be around me, Amaro, Cragen, or someone." He told her strongly. "This… this is the kinda shit that makes people relapse. And you know damn well if Olivia comes back and sees that you're gambling and doin' shit again, she's gonna kick my ass for not holding you up when she wasn't here."

Amanda swallowed hard. He was right, it was slightly funny to think of Olivia kicking his ass but she couldn't laugh or even muster a smile, not with what they'd just found out.

"Alright…" she reluctantly agreed in her sweet, southern accent.

"Cragen's gonna be here in a few with Nick and CSU. You gonna be able to work this or do we need to leave?"

"Honestly?" she said quietly and he nodded his head in confirmation. "I wanna leave. I can't go into that apartment that we've been sharing and see everything that he did, that he's done. I can't…" she sounded defeated but she was being honest with him and he was so very happy about that.

"Okay. When Cragen gets here, we're gonna go back and work on the case from the bullpen. We've got plenty to do there. We can go through Lewis' file to see if we have any leads as to where he's taken her. We can interview his attorney… there's plenty to do. You aint gotta go in there again, Amanda." She loved Fin, she really did. He was one of the best men she'd ever met and one of the greatest friends she'd ever had. He'd always have her back.

"Fin," she started once more, "thanks… for having my back… and for not ratting us out to Cragen…" she said shyly.

He gave her a reassuring nod. He was slightly hurt that she thought him ratting them out was a possibility, but he didn't call her on it. Not now.

"Amanda," he called and she looked up at him after wiping her eyes once more, "I gotta ask… is there anything in there, in the apartment that is gonna put you and Liv together? Nick and Cragen are gonna be in there, they're gonna see all of Liv's stuff…" he told her, trying to get his message through to her.

"Oh god!" she said loudly, just realizing what he was saying. Fin was right. If Amanda had things in Olivia's apartment, sexy things, or photos of the two of them together intimately, Cragen would find them. CSU would comb the apartment clean. They'd find everything.

Fin pressed his lips together in a thin line.

"There's notes, little sticky notes… when we were working opposite shifts, she'd leave me some lovey-dovey note to find when I'd have to wake up without her… some of them are on the fridge…" Amanda stated in disbelief. "There's pictures… not nudes or anything," and Fin cringed at the thought of them actually taking nude photos together. He definitely didn't need those images in his head. "They're just us hanging out… just being us… but you can tell we're more than friends in them… in a few, we're kissing. Those are also on the fridge. Oh no!" Amanda covered her face with her hands.

"Hey," Fin said softly, making her look at him. "You know Lewis' MO. He likes fucking up personal things. For all we know, he burned them. I didn't pay much attention to the fridge when we were in there, but I don't remember seeing any pics of you two. We don't know what they'll find in there, okay?" He told her firmly and he meant it. "Let's keep it between us. If Cragen or Nick sees anything, they might not comment on it… if Cragen wants to bring it up, he'll let you know."

Amanda nodded in agreement and starting biting the fingernail on her thumb. "Cragen will be mad. I'll be transferred out, probably back to Atlanta…" her train of thought was like a runaway train… She always assumed the worst.

"Nah," Fin simply stated. "See, this sick son-of-a-bitch just took the one woman that he saw as a daughter. Cragen isn't going to care that you and Liv are a thing, not right now. He wants what we all want. He wants her back safe. And if he does find out and needs to address it, he'll address it after we have her back." He told her. "And we will get her back" he stated once more, not needing Amanda's head to revisit the bad place that it'd just been. She can't breakdown once their captain is here. "And by that time, he'll be over being mad about it, he'll just be relieved she is back…"

Fin swallowed hard. "And you know he'd never send you back to Atlanta… not when he knows what happened to you there… he'd transfer you to another unit here at best…"

"Okay, you're right… you're right…" she stated, still chewing on her thumb.

"It's gonna be okay," he said to her.