Hello everyone!

I'm back with another Jarlos, and this time with my very first long-fic here. I feel like I need to explain a little bit, so you won't say I didn't warn you.

This is a series of letters written by Carlos. This is a total drama, and there's pretty much no happy thing in this fanfic - except for Carlos' memories, that he will write down in the letters. There also is smut, but everything comes strictly from Carlos' memories to his letters. This fanfiction is RPS because I can! No, jk, it's RPS pretty much because it's my favorite way to write - and because I enjoy playing God and do whatever I want with them.

((It's angst because of the obvious drama and blahblahblah, but it's also romance because of Carlos' memories, and how he regards to James and stuff like that, ok?))

This fanfic is not completely written yet, so maybe I'll ask you for your opinion about the plot and how do you want it to go. And I also haven't decided if it has a happy ending. I love drama, so most likely it won't have, but still you can try and soften me.

The very first letter is short, just so you can quite of... get hints? I'm not sure, this first letter doesn't give away much, so I guess you'll just have to trust me a little bit in this one.

By the way, I'm only writing this if actually there's someone to read it. So, if you guys want to read this fanfic, please review and tell me what are your thoughts about it! All sort of opinions are welcome, just please be gentle because I'm very sensible. Oh, and I guess you already know that English is not my first language and that I make mistakes, so please point them out so I can always improve.

Oh, and I suck at titling things, so the title from this fanfiction, Tears of Ink, came from my besfren, Bomes. So, if you think this title sucks or if you like it, go tell him, yay!

And I know I talk too much. I'm not sorry. ;D

So read, let me know what you think, and enjoy!

Hello, my dear.

I don't know why I'm doing this. I guess I'm just missing you. Forgive me for this shitty handwriting, it's because I have no glasses on – I managed to break them somehow, and now I'm blind.

Oh, last night, I was watching The Talented Mr. Ripley, and guess what? I was thinking about you. Remember when we watched it together for the first time? Your impressions were amazing. You're just as great at being Tom Ripley as Matt Damon was.

Everything about you is great, actually, and I miss you.

I wish you were here. I wish I wasn't insane, so I would be still safely wrapped in your arms. I'm sorry, and I wish you'd forgive me. But I know that this is not happening. I also know that you are now happy with her – happy and out of the danger zone, right?

I wonder if you read any of the letters I've ever sent to you. I wonder if you remember. If you wake up in the middle of the night crying; if you think about when we were together; I mostly wonder how you are doing. 'Cause I'm all fucked up, and I wish you are just fine so I don't have to worry. But I keep worrying, because I have no news from you.

Last night, when I went to sleep, after watching the movie, I had a dream. There was this beautiful little girl and you were tucking her in to sleep. She had dark skin like me, but big and beautiful hazel eyes like yours. And then she suddenly had watering eyes, and asked you, "Daddy, when is Papi coming home?", and you smiled and said "Soon, sweetheart, soon, now go to sleep." It was beautiful, James. Beautiful.

You know what? I don't wonder if you read my letters. I actually know you do not, but whatever. I will stick to writing them, because I promised I'd love you forever, and forever I will. You know I don't go back in the things I promise – in fact, that's the actual reason why I'm here. I don't break promises.

Well, I should go. It's about four in the morning, and I'm here, talking to you – even thought you won't answer me.

I love you, James.

Forever yours.

~CPenaJr.