AN: So, this was my first fanfiction ever. Looking back, I wouldn't call it my best work, but it's interesting to see how far I've come.

Why am I doing this?

At first, it was out of fear. I couldn't understand these monsters. I couldn't understand why they were trying to kill me. I had to defend myself. Even Toriel, who seemed so nice, but that flower… he seemed nice too. How could I trust anyone after that? How did I know that Toriel wouldn't betray me the same way Flowey did? His words, 'Kill or be killed,' cut deep inside me. I had to get out of here, before I ended up like the other humans who had been trapped here.

But soon, it became more than that. I felt some kind of presence within me, urging me to kill every single monster I could find. I felt it grow stronger with every monster I killed, and in turn, I grew stronger. This power was… addicting. I swore that I heard a voice. It was counting down, "3 left, 2 left, 1 left."

Then nobody came.

I tried to ignore all the pain that I was feeling and pushed open the door that would take me out of these ruins. It opened to a cold, dark, and snowy forest. Just what I deserve, I thought. Yet, I wondered how there could be life at all in a place without a sun.

As I began to move, I heard a twig snap right behind me. I froze.

"Don't you know how to greet a new pal?"

I turned and saw a skeleton smiling at me, with eyes glowing with a faint white light. Like always, my first instinct was to fight, but something held me back. It felt like the presence was wary of this one, and it was warning me not to attack.

Not yet anyway.

The skeleton extended his hand. Was he actually sincere? Could I trust him? I wanted to believe that I could, that I could stop all this, so I shook his hand. I heard a weird sound. It sounded like… a whoopee cushion?

"heheh…"

I couldn't believe this. I had just brutally slain over a dozen monsters, and now this guy was playing childish jokes! The presence was infuriated, but it still held back.

"That's, uh, your cue to laugh, or, uh, to emote at all…?"

I hadn't realized how expressionless I was. I would have thought that at least my frustration would show. The skeleton introduced himself as 'Sans' and explained that he was supposed to be on watch for humans. I grew tense.

"But… y'know… i don't really care about capturing anybody."

I exhaled a sigh of relief. I couldn't tell if he noticed.

"Now my brother, Papyrus…"

Oh no…

"He's a human-hunting FANATIC."

I gulped. Would I have to kill this 'Papyrus?'

"Hey, actually, I think that's him over there."

NO!

The other skeleton came running. "SANS! HAVE YOU FOUND A HUMAN YET!?"

I was standing right in front of him!

"Yeah," Sans winked at his brother.

What? Why? Are you trying to get him killed? The presence was not afraid of this one. If he had attacked, I surely would have killed him. I braced for a fight, but instead, he told me to prepare for a series of 'fun puzzles.' I was confused. If this was a trap, it was a very strange one. They continued down the forest and I tried to follow, but another monster came out of nowhere and blocked me. It was some kind of bird. It attacked me while making a bunch of bad snow puns. It didn't make sense. Nothing here made sense!

I (somehow) impaled the monster with my toy knife (I really wished I could find a real one). The monster screeched in pain. I couldn't help but feel a perverse satisfaction as its body turned to dust.

"15 left."

I kept killing anything in my path out of fear, confusion, and that addictive hatred inside me. I wanted to stop, but I couldn't. They were the ones attacking me, right? It's not like I could just politely ask them to stop. Even more importantly, I had to get stronger before a monster like Sans attacked me, or I would never see the sun again.

On the way, I encountered a living snowman who only wanted me to take a piece of him with me, since he could not move. Maybe this is my chance to do something good, I thought, but when I tried to take a piece, I accidently knocked the snowman down, turning it into a useless pile of snow. I hadn't realized how strong I was getting. I looked down at the remains and almost managed to shed a tear, before I turned my back and moved on.

I soon encountered Sans and Papyrus again. Papyrus had prepared some kind of puzzle, but before he could even tell me what it was, I felt an overwhelming sense of boredom and just walked right through it. I was confused. Part of me wanted to play along, thinking that even after everything I had done, I might have actually been able to befriend them, or at least not kill them. It had to be the presence, but this was different. As much as I hated to admit it, the presence had until now never assumed direct control, but instead it subtly encouraged me to act according to its will. I was still the one responsible for my actions. Now however, it seemed to be moving my body involuntarily, and I was powerless to stop it. I was scared, but I did not have the ability to express it. Even then, I was still more afraid of the monsters than the mysterious presence; it was on my side.

Sans and Papyrus were very disappointed in me. I considered telling them what was happening to me, but there was no way they would believe me. They had to have heard about, or perhaps even have witnessed, my killings by now. Why they hadn't attacked me yet was beyond me, but as long as they didn't, I wouldn't. I wasn't a monster; I wasn't the one who attacked people out of nowhere. I may not have exactly avoided fights, but I never started them.

Eventually, I reached the town of Snowdin. Sans was standing by the entrance. He gave me a knowing look; we both knew what was about to happen. I walked up to him and said "Look, I don't want to kill your brother, but when someone attacks me, they die."

"well, for someone who doesn't want to kill," the light drained from Sans's eyes., "You sure seem to enjoy it." What? I thought this over and realized that, ever since coming here, the only time I showed emotion was when I was killing. I always had a look of satisfaction on my face. What was happening to me? Sans turned to leave.

"Wait!" I shouted. There was something I had to know. "The seven humans who came here before me. What happened to them?"

Sans sighed. "King Asgore has them. He needs seven SOULs to break the barrier… he just needs one more."

"So, you are killers."

"They just want to see the sun again, like you,"

So that was why, they were fighting for the same thing I was. Was my life worth their freedom? Should I have just surrendered and let them have my SOUL? No, that was wrong, but did that justify killing so many in the name of self-defense? I didn't know anymore.

"Wait, you said you needed seven souls. There were seven humans."

"Ah yes, the first human. They were… a friend. When they died, everything changed," and then he left.

A friend? Despite everything, I wished I could be friends with them, but it was far too late for that.

I entered the town. My SOUL sank. It looked like such a nice, peaceful town, before it had been evacuated. They're really that afraid of me? I looked at the nearest home and saw a note on the door. It was someone begging me not to hurt their family. I would never attack someone unprovoked like that, would I? I forced myself to think back. Some of them were just trying to run away, and I still killed them. Now I could clearly see that these "monsters" were really just people. Strange people, quirky people, but still people, and I was slaughtering them. This place was not "kill or be killed." People like Flowey just made it seem that way. People like… me. Toriel really was just trying to protect me. I could have saved her, but instead I made her believe that she was protecting them from me. I looked at my hands; they were covered in the dust that dying monsters left behind. As far as I was concerned, it was blood.

I couldn't look at the town anymore. I dashed through it as fast as I could. At the end of the town, Papyrus stood in my way.

"HALT, HUMAN!"

I stepped towards him, involuntarily.

No… please don't… make me…

"HEY, QUIT MOVING WHILE I'M TALKING TO YOU! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE SOME THINGS TO SAY! FIRST: YOU'RE A FREAKING WEIRDO!"

He'll never forgive me.

"HOWEVER, I, PAPYRUS, SEE GREAT POTENTIAL WITHIN YOU! EVERYONE CAN BE A GREAT PERSON IF THEY TRY! AND I HARDLY HAVE TO TRY AT ALL, NYEH HEH HEH!"

The presence was not amused.

"HEY, QUIT MOVING! HUMAN! I THINK YOU ARE IN NEED OF GUIDANCE! I, PAPYRUS WILL GLADLY BE YOUR FRIEND AND TUTOR! I WILL TURN YOUR LIFE RIGHT AROUND!"

Even after everything I've done. How could he show such mercy? I wanted to cry, but I did not have the ability. Instead I continued to approach him ominously, staring at him with a blank expression.

"ARE YOU OFFERING A HUG OF ACCEPTANCE?"

I will not kill him! I am done listening to you! With all my determination, I finally fought back my murderous impulses and hugged Papyrus.

"WOWIE! YOU DID IT! YOU DIDN'T DO A VIOLENCE!"

I laughed weakly, still holding him. No, I shouldn't laugh about this.

"I… I'm so sorry. I never wanted to kill anyone. I was just scared," a single tear ran down my cheek. Papyrus admitted that he was scared too. I held him tighter. Yeah, I was just scared. That insatiable lust for power, that was just a bad dream. The people I killed would always haunt me, but somehow, I was going to find the light in this sunless world.

"BUT YOU'RE ALREADY BECOMING A GREAT PERSON! I'M SO PROUD I COULD… HUMAN?"

A few more tears had come. "How can you have so much faith in me? You don't even know me." It occurred to me that I hadn't even introduced myself.

"Hey, my name… it's… umm… ch…" no, that wasn't right.

"Ch… ch…" I couldn't remember my own name? I struggled hard to remember.

Chara, that was the name Flowey called me. Chara was the presence that had been stalking me. Chara, I knew that name. Chara was the first human who went missing in this mountain.

Why Chara? They were your friends!

But nobody answered.

Flowey must have been the monster from the stories. The one who carried Chara's body back to their village; the one who was wounded but did not fight back.

What did you do to him, Chara?

I faintly heard laughter.

I couldn't become like Flowey. I had to remember my own name. I summoned more determination than I knew I had.

"HUMAN? WHAT"S WRONG?"

"My name… is… Frisk!" Tears were rushing down my cheeks, as if I had been holding them back ever since my first kill. Papyrus did his best to comfort me.

So, you betrayed me too. I could sense a sincere sadness in Chara's voice. I felt sorry for them.

Chara, it doesn't have to be this way. Come back. They forgave me. They'll forgive you too. I promise.

But Chara did not come. They retreated to a dark corner of my mind, and they stayed there forever.