From the moment I received the call, I knew time was of the essence, working merely on borrowed time. Whatever it was, Rosalie said she had to tell me face to face. It was about Bella and it had to be very bad otherwise, Rosalie would never have called. But I was not truly prepared for how bad it was. Once I got to Tanya's, Rosalie began telling me the news as Emmett and Jasper listened. I heard the words she spoke but they did not completely sink in, something about one of Alice's visions of Bella jumping off a cliff. It was then I heard one particular word loud and clear: dead. Rosalie had just said Bella was dead. That was not even possible. There was no way that she could be right. Not my Bella, not my Bella!

I grabbed the phone and hurriedly dialed her home number. She might not answer if she knew it was me and Charlie would answer if only to give me a piece of his mind. I disguised my voice as Carlisle to be sure he would actually speak with me. Maybe Charlie would hang up on me or I could at least have him tell me that Bella was fine and it was none of our business. Only Charlie did not answer. Jacob Black did.

"Swan residence," Jacob answered in a huff, like I had interrupted something.

"Hello. May I speak to Charlie," I asked.

"He's not here," came Jacob back curtly.

"Do you know where he might be?"

"He's at the funeral," and I dropped the phone.

Rosalie picked up the phone which had shut off and the three of them stared at me in anticipation.

"Edward? What? What did Charlie say," Rosalie asked.

"It wasn't Charlie. Jacob Black said he's at the funeral," with that I crumbled to the floor.

The Denali's heard me and rushed to me along with the three members of my family who were present. I said nothing; I felt nothing, nothing but shock. They all spoke to me, I did not respond. My hope was gone; my reason for existing was gone. No longer did I need to be concerned about Victoria killing Bella: she had killed herself. My Bella had ended her own life. She was not safe anymore nor was she in danger. Bella was an angel now. Maybe if I believed as Carlisle did, there was a heaven for us and I could see Bella once more. Or I could simply die and not have to live in this hell any longer.

They all wanted me to stay and wait for Alice to call or wait until Carlisle and Esme returned from their hunting trip. If I waited, one of them would talk me out of what I planned to do. I had made up my mind and no one would have the chance to sway my decision. I left before they could say another word to me. I went down through North America and into South America. I threw my cell phone in a trash can in Rio after I received over 50 calls, I would not back down. I swam across to Africa, ran up to Egypt, swam over to Greece and then to Italy. I was going to Volterra, home of the Volturi. I would petition their help.

It was dark when I reached the edge of the city. I quickly became aware of the patrolling guard as they stood out from the rest. I simply walked up to one of them which made him instantly halt. I told him I needed to meet with Aro. He nodded and I followed him. We walked through a dark alley, down into the sewage system, up a ladder that led into one of the many towers, and inside the main hall leading to where the Volturi held court. When I was presented once we passed the huge wooden doors, only Aro and the wives were present. I stood before him as he sat quietly behind his massive desk.

"What an unexpected surprise, Edward. I am sure Carlisle knows nothing about your visit," Aro said as he offered me the chair in front of him which I only took out of respect.

"No and I would like to keep it that way. I am sure you know why I am here," I answered.

Aro got up from his chair, walked around his old wooden desk, and sat on the edge in front of me. He was at least 3000 actual years old but Aro had not aged passed 50 Earth years. His skin looked parchment thin as his held his hand for me to take, his veins looked like black routes on a road map, the blood frozen inside.

"I have inkling but I could do with more concrete details. If you do not mind," he purred.

I took his hand. Aro had the ability to see every thought you ever had. When I touched him I brought back all my fond memories of Bella: the way her hair fall across her face when she slept, the blush in her cheeks whenever she was near me, the way her heart beat wildly any time I touched her, the way my name sounded when it rolled from her lips, her heavenly aroma that practically called out to me, the way her soft lips felt against mine, the touch of her hand that sent electrical shocks all throughout my body, the taste of her warm skin and of course her life giving blood. But all the sadness came to me as well: when the van nearly smashed her at school, having to be cruel to her at first, when she was tracked by James and nearly killed by him, having to decide between letting the change happen or sucking the venom from her, the day she cut her hand and Jasper's subsequent attack, lying to her in the woods about the way I felt, leaving her alone and defenseless, Rosalie telling me Bella was dead and Jacob's confirmation. Finally we were to my choice and Aro let go of my hand.

"I see. You want us to kill you because of this extraordinary human? Is that correct," Aro asked.

"You have to understand, I cannot possibly exist without her. She was my life and now Bella is gone from this world. I have nothing, no hope. Death is my only choice," I replied.

"Such passion, such devotion but for a human? What a waste. Edward, I could see and feel what you did but I am very curious as to why you would allow yourself to fall in love with this frail human. They are meant to be eaten not for procreation. I know you had other options for female companions."

"No, it has only been Bella. I have never loved anyone like I loved her nor do I think I ever will again. I had waited over 90 years for someone like my Bella and I will never want another. All I ask is that you please grant my petition."

Aro walked back around to sit in his chair and took a few moments to glare at me, trying to gauge my response. I was already dead inside so I was sure I looked as such, more so than usual. He leaned forward to give me an answer.

"I must confer with the court. I will need for you to give us two hours to deliberate," he said.

"Two hours," I answered.

"You may wait outside. We will summon you when we have a solution to your problem.

I nodded and walked back out into the main room. I then became aware of their human receptionist. She did not smell anywhere as wonderful as Bella had. I sat on one of the many couches that lined the walls and prepared to wait. I had my elbows on my knees and I leaned forward and placed my head in my hands. I had to think. I wanted to think about the damn mess I had made out of everything. I do not know what I had been thinking the day I left her. I knew I thought I was doing her some good, distancing her from the danger of the vampires in her life. But it did no good. Bella had not moved on, she had stayed right where I left her. She was broken and alone. I had ripped her heart out by telling her that I loved another when it was not true, I would never love anyone else. My heart belonged to her. Now that she had died, she had taken it with her. I didn't want it back. It was useless to me without her. My existence meant nothing to me now. There was no reason to be on this Earth. I could not go on without her. I would forever be haunted by her beautiful brown eyes that looked into my soul and saw a man to love, not the monster within. But it had been that bastard that left her that day, alone, cold, and heartbroken. Before Rosalie's call, I was headed back anyway. I could not go one more day without her. I would have begged her to forgive me and if I had been lucky she would have at least allowed me to be her friend. But, there was no hope, no chance for forgiveness from my Bella. She was in heaven now and that was where she would forever stay.

"Excuse me? Excuse me? Sir," the blond woman called to me breaking me from the torture I was exuding on myself.

"Yes," I replied as I sat up.

"The court will see you now."

"Thank you," I said as I got up and walked to the door.

When I reentered the room Caius, Marcus and Felix had joined Aro along with Jane and Alec. They were all part of the guard, old and new. The wives were over in the corner doing nothing but staring off into space. Aro offered me the same chair as he sat in his, Jane and Alec stood behind him.

"Edward, we have given your plight a great deal of consideration. But in the end we cannot grant your request," he said.

I felt venom pool in my mouth from the anger I felt. It would not do me any good to fight with them in here. They obviously would not kill me.

"May I ask why," I asked.

"To be honest we are quite interested in you. Your talents could be very useful here. You intrigue me and it would be such a waste to destroy you."

"So you want to offer me a position on the Volturi Guard?"

"Exactly. Come, Edward, you must see how beneficial you would be to us. All you need to say is that you will join us."

"And if I do not?"

"This is not a life or death thing. We will simply let you go. Like I said, it would be a waste to kill you."

"I must decline your offer."

"I see. Well, you are free to go. Please tell Carlisle I send my regards when you see him."

"Of course. Thank you for seeing me."

"Come back anytime, Edward."

I wanted to run out of the room but I instead followed Jane and Alec out the main door from the room. They proceeded to lead me down a long hallway which led to yet another large door, but this one was made of steel. Alec easily pushed it open and Jane stood in front of me and glared but said nothing. I walked passed her and through the door around Alec.

"Don't worry my sister. He'll be back," I heard Alec tell Jane.

I ran out in to the square where several people had begun to gather. It was 3 AM, why were they here? And what exactly was I going to do now? As I looked around and smelled the humans as they passed by me, I considered staging a mass killing spree. I would be able to drain at least 10 of them dry before the Volturi guard attacked me. No! I would not tarnish Carlisle's good name and undo all that I had become over the many years that I had been part of Carlisle's family. I could not do that to him or the rest of them. As I strolled down the street I walked past a row of very expensive cars. I thought about flipping two or three of them over but there were not too many humans in this area of the city so it would be for naught. It was at that moment that one of the guards crossed over in front of me and I for a moment wanted to set him a blaze right in the middle of town. But I would not allow anyone else to die because I wanted to. I had to do something. I decided to feed; at least it would pass time while I figured out the best way to get the attention of the guard while not harming anyone else.

I ran fifteen miles outside of the city walls into a small forest area. I was not exactly sure why I was eating since I wanted to die. I could have starved myself but I feared the monster within would take over and thus send me into frenzy to where I did something I would regret: feeding on a human. I found several deer and gorged myself. I calculated it and it had been almost a month since my last meal. I had been unsuccessfully trying to track Victoria and she had been leading my on a wild goose chase that covered two continents. But it did not matter now. Victoria could not hurt Bella anymore.

I slumped down to the ground against a tree. I pulled my knees up towards me and brought them to my chest. I rested my chin on them and stared off into oblivion. Bella haunted me. I could feel her eyes penetrating deep into my soul. I saw her as she begged me not to leave her. But I had. I left her, me, the sorry excuse for a man that I am. A monster would be a better way to describe me: a heartless, cruel, bloodsucking, vile demon. I did not deserve to be on this planet. Bella was the one who should be alive and I should be the one cold and dead in the hard ground. I cursed the day I was born. I cursed the day Carlisle changed me. If I had never been in Forks, Bella would be alive. I wished I could cry. I screamed at the top of my unneeded lungs and felt all my pain as it flowed through me.

It was then a flier flittered passed me. I grabbed it, read it and smiled. This was my answer. All the people were in Volterra because it was St. Marcus Day, which celebrated the day all the vampires were ran out of the city. The joke was on them. Marcus had never left and vampires ran Volterra. There would be thousands of people present, all I needed to do was walk out into the main plaza when the sun was at its peak and reveal myself. The Volturi guard would see me and quickly dispose of me. That was their number one law- do not expose yourself to humans. I would break it at high noon under the clock tower. I got up from my present position and ran all the way back to the city. It was still early. I placed myself in the dark shadows and prepared to wait, wait for my opportunity to die.

I was patient and I watched the Palazzo dei Priori fill with more and more people. I simply stood to the right of the clock tower in a dark alley. I could see everyone but they could not see me. I unbuttoned my white shirt and left it open in the front as it hung across my shoulders. I still had one hour left before the sun reached my desired destination. I concentrated on my task at hand and the fact that it just might bring me once again into my Bella's arms. If I was lucky and Carlisle was right about vampires and heaven. It was very hard to maintain concentration with everyone's thoughts interrupting my own. I heard one above all the others: Alice. She practically was screaming at me.

"EDWARD!!! STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING!! BELLA IS NOT DEAD," Alice yelled.

Alice tried to stop me by lying to me.

"I'M NOT LYING! BELLA IS HERE, WITH ME, IN VOLTERRA! WE'RE TRYING TO STOP YOU! PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP," Alice screamed.

Clever Pixie, she always schemed and tried to sway your every decision. I would miss her; she had been a wonderful sister. I loved all the time I had been able to spend with Alice and the rest of my family. But her thoughts would not change my course. What she planned to do would not work on me today. I removed my shirt and let it pool in a white bundle at my feet. I thought of Bella as I prepared to move.