What is this feeling?
A request from Jokermask18
She was angry.
She was scared.
She was ashamed.
She was determined
She was feeling so many emotions at once that she had trouble distinguishing them from each other, they just melded together until all she was feeling was…emotion.
She had no better word to describe it.
She was angry at Amon, for taking bending away from so many innocent people, and having the intension to do it to others.
She was scared because she didn't want to lose her bending. It was who she was- it was her entire identity. How could she call herself the Avatar if she couldn't bend? Not even one measly element.
She was ashamed because she had broken a promise, and not just any promise.
She was determined because she knew she had to live- for him at least, she couldn't die without saying goodbye…without explaining why she did what she did.
An hour ago she had been training with Bolin, they had been listening to the radio as they usually did, sometimes there was a Pro-bending match broadcasting, other times it was just music. Amon's voice had come on the radio quite suddenly; she could still hear his voice ringing clearly through her ears…
"Hello citizens of Republic city, this is Amon. I know you must be displeased at me frequently taking over your radios, but I assure you. This will be the last time.
I strive for equality, and yet the benders that taint this city are continuing to use their bending to terrorize those without it.
Benders, how would you feel if someone born with an impurity such as yours used it to bully you? We vouch for fairness and yet fairness cannot be granted when a portion of people have unfortunately been born benders and use that power to oppress others.
In a fight against a man wielding a blade and a man wielding his fist who do you think would win? Most would declare this to be an unfair fight, and they are doing so hypocritically because right now we are living in a world where non-benders are oppressed.
So I ask you, in the interest of fairness, to come to Avatar Aang memorial island in exactly a week from now, so we can…level the playing field. It seems fitting that the very place you will lose your bending celebrates a reincarnation of someone who thinks they rule the world because they can control the four elements.
Anyone who fails to attend will not be spared by my equalists, do not try to run from your fate.
I now speak directly to the Avatar; you think you have the right to silence me because I am not marred by your impurity. You think you can save the benders of this city, but what of the non-benders? Do you not stand for them?
The last time you challenged me to a fight I spared you, but this time you will not be so lucky. I have decided you will get another chance….in the interest of fairness; it is after all what I stand for.
At sundown today, on Avatar Aang Memorial Island I will face you, one on one. If you somehow manage to defeat me the world will keep spiralling closer and closer to destruction as the benders oppress and non-benders and throw the world out of balance, if I win however, you will be made an example of, for those who believe you will save them.
You all stand for equality in one form; I just prefer to look at the bigger picture"
After his voice had faded and she and Bolin recovered, he told her not to go. He grabbed her shoulders and shook them slightly, he made her promise she wouldn't go. She didn't reply, he shook her harder and yelled at her, almost desperately, he yelled at her to promise.
She did.
She felt horrible; she had broken a promise to him. For some reason this made her more uneasy than the fact that she might die tonight.
He believed her, he was such a good person that he believed her and gave her a relieved sigh and a wide smile. She asked if he was going to tell Tenzin about this, they currently had the only radio on the island so he wouldn't have heard Amon. He said that what Tenzin would probably want to know and would end up getting angrier if he found out they had been keeping this from him.
She asked him to promise not to tell him about it.
He did.
She felt even worse for taking advantage of him, the only reason he promised was because he didn't think she was going.
But she had no choice.
It was her duty as the Avatar to restore balance to the world- and Amon was certainly intent on destroying the balance that the Avatars before her had strived to create.
She wouldn't die.
She knew that she wouldn't, she hadn't said goodbye to Bolin…or anyone else for that matter. If she died she would never get to laugh with him again, get caught in his tight embrace or get lost in his green eyes…
She shook her head slightly, as if that would shake all the thoughts currently running through her mind around and help her focus.
She needed to focus.
She would face Amon soon and she didn't even have a plan.
Did 'stay alive' count as a plan? …Probably not.
She looked up toward the sun, she had about an hour until she had to be on Avatar Aang Memorial Island, she shivered even though it wasn't cold.
She glanced behind her, she couldn't see Air Temple island because her view was blocked by the many buildings that made up the city.
What would Bolin do when Pema called everyone for dinner and she wasn't there?
Would he tell Tenzin?
She hoped not, if Tenzin found her he would probably keep her locked in a room with no windows for the remainder of her stay at the island.
Would he come after her?
No. He couldn't. Amon would take him out without a second thought…and anyway, there were no more ferries traveling from the island today.
That thought comforted her a bit as she looked at the large statue of Avatar Aang.
"I'm coming Amon" She said through clenched teeth as she headed to the island, putting all thoughts out of her mind and trying to think of a plan to keep her alive.
She had to stay alive.
For him at least.