Limestone

The sound of the familiar lullaby came into focus I started to open my eyes though I was too tired so I shut them again. I needed to know if the sun was shinning or not, it didn't matter not really I didn't sparkle or anything unusual like the rest of my family, I just wanted to see if this was my lucky day, I was juts so tired. Dad I thought hoping his thought would be focused on mine rather than Alice or Rosalie's or anyone else's. Just 2 and half seconds later he was by my side. I touched his check showing him exhausted I was.

"It's a Saturday Nez"

With that I fell asleep once more. Pleased I had no tutoring.

The next time I woke, I could actually open my eyes and to my surprise Alice was sat on my bed.

"Morning well afternoon Renesmee." I groaned at the thought of wasting half a day. Then I realised something much more particular, Alice was staring at nothing in particular so she was obviously trying to see the future. It wasn't her and Jaspers anniversary or Valentines day so she wasn't trying to see what gift he was going to get her. The thing is all though her reading the future was nothing out of ordinary she never even tried when I was around she couldn't see anything when I was around and she couldn't see me, so what was she doing.

"Alice, What's wrong, what happened" I started to go in to a panic attack nothing out of the ordinary with my heart beating as fast as it did normally all that needed to happen was the slightest increase in heat rate and I was in a panic attack. They were the most annoying things ever. Urgh.

"Jasper" she said there was no need for her to shout he could hear perfectly fine. Then suddenly I was a lot calmer and I knew Jasper was behind me I didn't need to look I could feel his presence.

"Seriously Nessie, there's nothing to worry about"

"Except"

"Well actually I was going to call Jasper even if you hadn't gone into a panic attack though I knew it was most likely you would. Your father thought I should tell you rather than anyone else he said that I would be able to phrase it right." She murmured. This was defiantly bad but before I could go in to another panic attack I felt a lot calmer and more awake than before.

"Thanks Jazz"

"No problem, anytime" I laughed and so did Jasper, though Alice's gaze towards Jasper said all, this was no time for jokes.

"When I said it was the afternoon I actually meant Sunday afternoon" ugh. The waste of one whole day and a half. Why hadn't dad woken me these were questions I would intimidate him with later, It wasn't fair to put Alice through more pain than she was already.

"Dang" I murmured

"Right here I go. You're Mum and Dad have gone to go and see Renee and the reason you were so tired was because you were drugged, they didn't want you to kick up a fuss"

"They have gone to see Renee with out me, again" this was bad news but understandable.

The Last time they had gone to see Renee I was at the stage of a seven year old. I had kicked up a massive fuss, I only wanted to see my mums mum who I had never seen before and she didn't even know I existed. This had upset me very much and they had missed their plane and there stay was shorter than expected and this had upset my mum tremendously.

"Well…, can you blame them?"

"Not really" I said in a sulky tone. "So how long have they gone for" I said in my normal Cheery tone.

Her expressions said all, she was impressed. I had changed tremendously since the stage of a 7 year old. I was now 6 years old so I only had 1 year and a half left of growing and the whole growing process had really slowed down all though I looked like a 12 year old my mental state was well beyond human, but I wanted to enter high school so I was now 14 years old. I knew my face was going to mature tremendously in the next year and a half and I knew I was going to be stuck at the age of 17, the same physical state of my dad.

"I tell you some thing you're not the same old Nessie, Nessie. Im quiet proud of you"

"Thank you, I would have thought that my father would have known this from my thoughts, but I guess nobody can be certain on how im going to react" Alice laughed and so did Jasper and then I heard Emmett's roar of laughter down stairs and Rosalie's chuckle. I was very surprised to hear this as I thought they were still on there 3 month vacation. I quickly rushed out of bed and shouted

"EMMETT, ROSALIE?"

I ran as I fast as I could down the stairs though I feel on the last flight of stairs and landed sitting on the floor with my legs wide apart. Then everyone burst out laughing including my self. This was something I hated about my mother and about being half and half. I hated my mother for being so clumsy when she was human as I had inherited this from here. I could faintly here the laugh of both Carlisle and Esme. I didn't like to call them Granddad and Grandma or any other variations for grandparents. Though for the pass six years I had always had Granddaughter written on my birthday and Christmas cards.

I jumped up and ran in the front room I gave Rosalie I hug and Emmett though giving him hugs was never a good idea he always crushed me, but I had missed him so not giving him a hug was not an option.

"You have changed" Rosalie whispered.

"Well not really you're the same old Bella" Emmett chuckled away care free not realising his mistake which made us laugh at him and not with him. Then the smile disappeared of his face when he realised the joke was on him.

"What?" he questioned all of us staring at no one is particular

"Its Renesmee" I laughed rather than spoke.

The day passed in a blur and I knew that two weeks from now I would be getting ready for my first day of high school. Though at the moment more thoughts were more based on being lonely right now rather than two weeks when I would be Nessie the monster or freak. I missed my parents and Jacob, Jacob was on holiday with his dad in Florida for the week and he left last Wednesday so I still had a good few days with out him this made me very miserable no Jacob and No parents. This was Crap. I switched my ipod on and fell asleep after about an hour. This night was very different to most nights; I had no care free dreams which today would have been the best part of day. No tonight I had a nightmare. I dived in the sea from the cliff which my mother had once jumped from when my father ad left her. I found my self doing it for the same reason so I could hear Jacobs, Mums and Dads voices, they had left me. Though even though the sea water was cold I swam further down to see the fish, to see if they could calm me down I would often dream about being underwater with the fish, they just had some sense of peace about them. Though I started to run out of breathe which could never, never happen but it was so I swam as fast as I could to the surface of the water. I got so close to the top I decided to put my hand through the surface just so I could reassure me that the air was still there, not surprisingly it was. Just as I was about to take a breath of fresh air I felt a tug on my ankle and was instantly pulled back under the water and as I hard as I tried to reach the top of the water I just got pulled down further and that was it, nothing, I woke from a blood curdling scream, only then to realise it was my own.

My eyes flung open I was still screaming and I wasn't going to stop until I ran out of breathe as I didn't have the energy to stop. I woke to Alice holding my hand to her check. She then realised I was awake and gave me a hug, It was only then did I realise she was crying what the hell, I was the one in the nightmare, o right so was she I had shown her, I had no self control on my gift when I was asleep. She immediately called for Carlisle though I didn't know why. He rushed to my side it was then did I realise that I was having a panic attack the biggest one so far and I looked behind me to noticed Jasper trying to calm me down but it wasn't working, why wasn't it working.

"Jasper what's happening?" but before I could get a response there was nothing. Just nothing I guess I had passed out though for some reason I enjoyed nothing for awhile but then there was truly and utterly nothing no thoughts or anything I didn't even know who I was and what it meant to be alive.

"Why didn't you call, Carlisle. Didn't you think that I might want to know my daughter was seriously ill?" my father was questioning Carlisle.

"Edward calm down. CALM Edward. Thank you for calling Jacob" she said gratefully. I was guessing she was mum. Jacob? Jacob was here. That means it must be at least Wednesday.

"Yes thank you Jake." Then I heard lots of mumbles well shouting. But one had stood out more than the others my mums.

"Carlisle what's happening? Is she alright" she shouted I really tried wanted to tell my mum to calm down and I had a really clever and funny come back line which I knew would reassure her that everything at was ok. I could imagine my self saying it

Jezz mum Carlisle is only half way across the room and Im guessing up tied up to machines do I look alright, I feel fine though. Tell her that dad please.

"She's cold that all she's just a few degrees above our temperature" he replied

I heard my father chuckle. I could feel everyone stare at him I gathered this was his response to my request.

"What is it Edward" everyone said at once

"No it's just something she thought, her thoughts her back"
"What did she say well think anyway" mum said in a panicked tone

"When you said Carlisle what's happening? Is she alright She was really trying to tell you something but she couldn't find the strength so she told me to tell you to and this is her exact thought she says Jezz mum Carlisle is only half way across the room and Im guessing im tied up to machines do I look alright, I feel fine though."

I could feel the sense of realise of relief in the room but then disappeared as soon as I started to shiver violently.

"Fine. Ok." My father started, obviously an answer to somebody's thoughts. "Jacob would you please warm Renesmee up" he said in an unsatisfied tone that I could understand. Result was the only thing I didn't think, I was very good at controlling my thoughts around my father. I immediately felt the warm skin of Jacobs next to mine and then just for fun I was wondering how hard it was to think of nothing.

"She's gone blank again." Dad said with sadness in his tone of voice.

"Just when we thought we were getting somewhere" I heard Esme whisper. There was silence for a few minutes. Then Jacob spoke.

"You know I don't think of her that way Edward, and I won't till she's old enough. I just want to help her, I want her to be happy, so please Edward, trust me" he grumbled the last part and at the same time wrapped his arms around me tighter. I was very careful but somehow I managed to touch his face and show him how much I appreciated him for saying that. He just pulled me closer and whispered "anything for you my dear, if you want me to make vampires my best friends they will if you want me to leave you I will, If you want the whole entire world I will get it for you. I Love you Renesmee Carlie Cullen and don't you ever forget it. And so does everyone in this room and don't forget that either." I was more than happy with his little speech to Dad and to me but then I really did loose my thoughts, I had passed out again. Nice one Nez.

The next time I could actually wake up I did. Because I had found my self not in unconsciousness but in that nightmare again. I was once again woken by a blood curdling scream but again found it was my own scream. Once again my eyes flung open, and once again kept screaming until I had run out of breathe. I was just about to go in to the unstoppable panic attack when someone squeezed me, and then someone put an oxygen mask around my face. The familiar song my dad sung to me every night and in the times when I was upset or distressed started to play and in a sense of relief, I relaxed and released the tension in my muscles. I opened my eyes less violently and turned as I found I was in a very uncomfortable position. I turned to see Jacob smiling at me, this cheered me up tremendously but not enough for me to return the smile.

"Nessie" I heard my father say.

"Dad, dad, dad. Help dad help." I screamed at the top of my lungs as I realised I had imagined Jacob and that he wasn't there smiling at me I could see him in the corner of the room asleep.

"Its ok Nez, calm down, its going to be O.K" his words soothed me but still I was uncomfortable. I heard dad explain what had happened about my imagining things, I could hear her silent tears fall to the floor.

"O come here my Renesmee, shh shh. We won't leave you Nez and you don't ever jump do you hear me. Do you? O Renny what have you got your self caught up in now."

No they weren't listening it hurts, it really hurts my head it hurts im going to black out.

I repeated that thought to my dad again and again. He called for Carlisle immediately though I screamed his name. I was in pain it was stabbing all over the centre of the pain was coming from my head but it was almost like it was shooting at different parts of my body attacking them one by one, they were short bursts of pain but they were strong and they were getting longer.

I tried to distract myself I focused on something over than the pain. I feel sorry for Carlisle. Was the only thing that I could think of. Seriously he goes out to have five minutes and I just drag him back in again.

"you're so like your mother" me and mum both stared at him. I didn't understand but mum most of done. Her mouth turned up at the sides she was trying very hard not smile but I could see she was not obviously but she was smiling.

"Why is that Edward?" she stared at dad like always. Love filled eyes, no point in forever with out him no tomorrow if he's not there. He was everything she ever wanted and more, she would die for him she would do anything just so they could be together.

"Bella, Look at her, she has your eyes, well when you were human your eyes were exactly like that. Her thoughts and her actions are much like yours she is not bothered by her pain but the person who is treating her, she wants Carlisle to have a break for 5 minutes" he was also trying not laugh and he too looked her with loved full eyes and he too could not live with out her his eyes were full of everything hers were full of a part from he had protectiveness in his making sure she was to never fall over or hurt her self or to never to be in danger.

It was then I began to jolt. I feared these would be my final moments and I had to get my message across to Jacob but not through dad but through my self through my own words not thoughts. Dad, get everyone here now I want to say goodbye dad. Im going to die dad I can feel it. Do not argue please I want to say goodbye. Please tell grandpa Charlie that loved him very much and I would like to say goodbye to Jacob he is everyone to, please, Dad

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen never say that don't even think it don't even say, never say that your going to – die" he said these words with regret.

"DAD. Please just do this for me please" I screamed at him with all the force I had left. Then before I knew it they were all there everyone including my Jacob. Thank you. Now i just tell everybody goodbye, I could feel the tears on my checks it was not much that my life was shortly to be over but more that I wouldn't get to say with the ones I loved for longer.

I started with the person nearest the door, Rosalie. "Rosalie, you're the prettiest thing that has ever touched the earth, thank you for helping my mother when I was killing her, before I was born and thank you for being there for me, thank you Rosalie." I glanced a thankfull look at her she was staring at the ground I think she was crying but I didn't know, I was going to miss her to. "Emmett, well…. Thanks for cheering me up when I was down and no offence but it makes me laugh hard my stomach hurts when you loose but I have never won against you and just before I go my name was Renesmee"

"Your name is Renesmee" he corrected me.

"Alice" the tears fell harder now. But I managed to find the peace inside me and carry on. "Thank you very much, you are truly not just one of the best auntys I have but one of the best friends I have. All though I may not agree with your fashion sense some times, you always do a fabulous job no matter who the unfortunate victim" I quickly moved on so nobody could interrupt. "Jasper, your gift is very handy I don't know how many times you have got me out of panic attacks, just this month. So yer thanks and if you could make everyone feel happy or more peaceful when im gone I will be able to rest easier" this thought made me smile everyone happy, that would make me rest easier.

"NO! NEZ, I was never there the one thing I had to stop I couldn't and I will not make everyone at peace because I will not be at peace myself" his words didn't hit but I really hoped he would keep everyone at peace. I quickly moved on before dad could say anything.

"Carlisle thanks a bunch, you have let me live in your house be part of your family live off your money and yet after all this you never give up on me not even when im in a bad mood you still think there is something else you can do for me, well please help mum and dad if they need any help" I very quickly moved on to Esme.

"Esme, you love everyone so much and you are one of the kindest people to have ever walked on the earth and hope you walk for much longer, this hectic mad depressing world needs some sunshine especially in forks- o and thank you" know I had the toughest 3 starting with dad then mum and then Jacob. Please let this be easy I thought it to myself not to my father.

"I love you Dad, well I love everyone here but especially you, you always seem to have some kind of understanding well about most things and im glad to be your daddies little girl. I will never forget the geography lessons in the Amazon or all the concerts we went to for music. Im going to miss you, Dad. Thank you Dad." The stream of tears was getting stronger. I looked around the room looking at peoples face but not their eyes, but I met my fathers gaze and I saw the tears in his eyes so I quickly looked at mum which was a bad thing to do she was worse than everyone else. And she was next.

"I Love you Mum. I don't know what to say why don't I know what to say, Mum you are really truly the best mum anyone could ever ask for. You never blame for anything bad and you were going to sacrifice your life for me just to live, I was killing you and you let me live. Mum I don't want to go im going to miss you to much." I stared at my dad Look after her was my only thought. He nodded once but seemed to shake his head at the same time in disapproval. Now I had done that, I felt like it was my time to go but something wasn't quiet right. Jacob? Jacob? Dad where's Jacob.

"He's right by your side Renesmee" I turned it hurt a lot but I had to see him just once, for the last time. No matter how painful. Just one, last look.

"Jake, I Love you" I couldn't think of anything anymore. Everything went black and dark but nothing I had said felt true enough, nothing. Dad make everyone touch my face let Jacob be first I never got to say… Goodbye" I could everything but that didn't matter I wanted to see once more see the colours of the rainbows, I wanted to go to the clearing to play baseball, but I knew I couldn't have that not anymore.

"Jake touch her face she wants to show you something, and then she wants us all to touch her hand, she think words aren't strong enough" my father said in a crackled voice.

I could feel the difference in everyone's touch and I showed them my memories of them the goods ones there were no bad ones and told everyone how much I thought of them the worst part was saying goodbye. As soon as Rosalie hand left my face, Goodbye was the only thing I never wanted to say ever again. Then there was nothing no thoughts, no feeling of being alive or at least half a live half stone. I was lime stone I crumbled away, I didn't stand strong and beautiful like the rest of my family, how I would miss them. This was it this was the beginning of death.

Then there was an electrical shock sensation coming from my chest twice did it do that then I knew Renesmee Cullen was no more, I was dead.

"Is she coming, do you think she will be alright" a very panicked voice repeated over and over again. I was dead and I was hearing voices, I never knew angels could be so annoying, this certain was defiantly going to get on my nerves she already had and we had eternity to go. Well at least Carlisle was right there was a happy ending for Vampires. Dad had always made a joke that I would go to limbo, because I was and half. I never found this joke remotely funny but it gave him a good chuckle.

Then the voices grow louder and it hurt even more to listen to them. I couldn't stand this constant murmur it had to stop it was to much. Somehow I managed to find the strength in me to scream "STOP" I needed to refill my lungs well what ever I had no that gave me more energy "YOU ARE GIVING ME A HEADACHE" I then realised I was being rather rude to the people who I was going to have to stay with forever. "sorry" I whispered. "I loved my family very much, it causes me distress to think they are unhappy, go on" I still hadn't opened my eyes though I could feel the shock through out heaven or hell or limbo. Dang. First impressions are always the ones that lasted longest, that's what Alice had always said.

"She thinks she's in heaven, she thinks she's dead" said a male voice he sounded quiet pleased with himself. What was he on about I WAS dead. No question about it I was dead. "Crap im in hell" was the only thing I could manage to say. Then all of a sudden I felt very, very warm but I liked this I was comforted and felt more peace in me, like a dead girl should. The pull towards the heat got stronger, but my peace got stronger as the pull got tighter.

"Nessie?" a female voice said her voice was pretty so she had to be stunning. "Renesmee Carlie Cullen?" ugh. That is so not fair I wanted five minutes more sleep before taking my seat in the stadium of the death. "Yes that's me what number am I?" was the only thing I could say. I heard a low chuckle it reminded me of someone, someone I loved very much, but I wasn't going to think about them now. "Nez open your eyes for them for your family, please?" I would do anything for my family but I wasn't sure if this is what they wanted. "I would do anything for them but are you sure this is what they want, what's your name?" I questioned in an intimidating tone like my father had taught me.

They words that she said next wore the words that would never leave me.

"My name is…" she seemed to be looking for some kind of reassurance I should tell her I don't bite and even if I did she would not be turned into a vampangel.

"I don't bite, even if I did bite you, you would not be turned into a vampangel, I promise I don't carry venom in my blood." I heard quite a few muffled laughs in the background, at least I was making somebody happy. "I know that my Sweetheart, I am a vampire already, my name is Bella Cullen, now open your eyes Nez your alive." With that my eyes swung open, and I felt the embrace of my mother, I had defiantly missed her crushing hugs when they and I had been away.

A few hours after I had come back to life Carlisle had said that he thought that the worst was over. But the pain was tremendous and all I could do was scream. Scream again and again and everyone moved out for the day apart from Carlisle, Dad and mum they stayed with me. The others wanted to stay to see me well but I knew my performances was very melodramatic every stab of pain I yelped there was nothing I could do. Jacobs warm skin wasn't soothing anymore but it burned but so did my parents, no one could touch me. I couldn't move and I couldn't breathe well not that mattered but I needed oxygen to talk and with every scream that took up enough as it was and I needed to speak to my parents to take my mind off the pain, so I was now breathing through tubes. I could talk but a scream would normally interrupt the conversation. Anybody would think I was overreacting, I would have believed them to if it was not for my father being able to read mind to see how much I was in, nobody would have believed me not even myself.

"Nessie" Carlisle repeated I didn't hear him the first time I most of been focused on something else, maybe why Alice couldn't see me in the future and why Jasper was losing his calmness about him, when I was around. I looked in Carlisle direction to show him I was listening. "Where does the pain seem to be coming from." Pfft what kinda question is that, I can't tell umm EVERYWHERE.

"she cant tell, but I would say from the pit of her stomach and a lot around her back she cant move and she has a headache a big one" dad always repeated my thoughts. I could have said that myself I thought in a way like the spoilt teenage Americans did who didn't care about intelligence and could barley write a sentence. I always thought like that just to annoy him when he had annoyed me. He chuckled I guess he knew that I was going to be the same old Nez.

"You could of Nez, I agree. But could you have replied with out screaming? That is the question" Jeez who was he some kinda of game show host, but he did have a point. Though I didn't want to admit I didn't want to seem weak. Then I laughed and half screamed, I realised with me screaming and almost dyeing I was going to be seen as weak. My father looked confused so I repeated that thought to him he half smiled.

"your not weak Nez, no you're the strongest girl going, you are in immense pain, a human would have already died from the pain your in, but you kept going, just like your mother did" I faintly smiled in gratitude. He was right my mum was strong she always had been and always will be she was strong mentally.

"Thanks mum" I whispered. She seemed shocked. I couldn't be bothered to explain it to her I was tired, this scared me would I wake up or would I go back into that nightmare of nightmares. Dad im tired explain how mum is strong and how appreciate her giving that to me but not so much of the fainting and the clumsiness. But also can Carlisle give me something that won't make me go back to that nightmare. Soon enough I was falling asleep from all the antistatic Carlisle had given me, he said that I would probably go back into the same old dream, and he was right. Every time I had visited the dream I got closer and closer to taking a breath but that something that tugged on my ankle pulled me down further. Then the same old scream, the one that I realised was my own.

This time when I woke I opened my eyes slowly still screaming like always I wasn't going to stop until I needed to breathe. This time when I woke up one of my hands was in between my mothers and my father's faces and the other between Carlisle and jaspers faces shared the other. Damn, I quickly reassured my father that I was ok. Dad its fine, its just a bad dream that's all. I even managed to reassure myself that was a first, like my mother I was really bad at lying though I thought I was getting better at it. Then I got a very serious glare from my father, I hated it when he was mad at me. This made me almost go into a panic attack but Jaspers gift had not returned so Carlisle quickly supplied me with more oxygen. That's when I realised that it was me, I was why nobodies gift worked anymore because if I wasn't around they all worked perfectly fine and now my effect was rubbing off on Jasper and Alice already had always had her visions effected by me.

"It's all my fault, Jasper it's me your gift" my sentence was cut off by my mothers scream.

Then I got another gush of oxygen. My father was cradling my mother and was trying to get me hand off her face, what had I shown her dad most of been watching to but through my mothers mind she must of allowed him to. Mum only let dad read her mind when she wanted to, she must of wanted him to see something but what. DAD! I screamed in my head, I was worried sick and so was everyone else as Alice, Esme, Rosalie and Emmett all rushed in the room. What did I show her, DAD? I repeated over and over again.

"Renesmee your missing half of your dream" he finally replied. What, what was I missing I didn't understand.

"W-what" Is the only thing I could say I was so confused.

"Nez how did you know about the cliff, how did you know that your mother jumped to hear my voice?" they told me I swear they had told me.

"You told me, didn't you?" I was more confused than before.

"No Nez, we didn't none of us did." He paused to take a breathe but I could see he wasn't going to speak again and my voice was to weak to speak, I had to know how I had found out. Then how do I know. That was my only thought. He left the room and the others followed apart from mum she most of already knew what was happening. I heard the gentle footsteps of my family walk down the stairs and into the dinning room where they had voted for my mother to be a real Cullen. A vampire Cullen. O no they hadn't told me that either had they, how did I know all this stuff. I was about to eavesdrop on their conversation when my mother leaned over me ad gave me a hug. It only felt seconds had flown by but it most of been a good few minutes as all the family were back.

"Renesmee, you have been extracting memories from all of us, we have been on the phone to Elazer, he says its possible your gift works both ways you can give and you can take." My father said as soon as he walked through the door. Ok. So my gift was more than I had expected but how does this link with in my dream. I was about to ask when my mother and father jumped out the window. There is a door. I heard my father chuckle. Then Alice answered my question for me.

"They have gone hunting they didn't want hear the explanation for your dream. When you wake up your dream continues, but it starts from the beginning but this time its more clear because your eyes are open. Bella could see why you were jumping and when and who was pulling you back down that's why she screamed. You jumped off the cliff because when you take memories of a person if they don't want them they will give them to you. So in effect you are carrying the other person's memories. The thing is though when you give them information that memories comes back to them only for a few seconds but its in a condensed form. So the reason why you jumped is because of the reason your mother did, Jacob had to go with his pack and you went to the beach, got bored and started to react what your mother had done. When you hit the water you felt peaceful and so went down to see if the fish were even more peaceful. You had though extracted a memory from grandpa Charlie and so you felt human so you felt you needed to take a breathe. But when you were in this state of feeling human, someone you had taken a memory off pulled you back under because you were the 'memory card' you keeping up?" wow so I was a bank full of others people memories and not my own. It took me a minute to reply, I enjoyed the silence.

"I think so" I replied

"Good. So this someone is drowning you along with everyone else's bad memories, they think it's a good price to pay one life, for no bad memories" I got it. I get it. I was the price people had to pay for no more bad memories. Why did my mum scream though, I didn't understand that.

"Alice it was just a nightmare, so why did my mum scream" I whispered shamed to admit that I had made my mother scream.

"She saw something" she replied she shied away from the question.

"What was this something" I questioned I couldn't be bothered to be intimidating it never worked on Alice anyway. No answer. I was about to ask again but this time to Carlisle as I knew he couldn't lie very well, and that Alice was very good at ignoring me. Just then though the biggest burst of pain yet hit and I couldn't scream it hurt too much so I some how I made my self black out. I could hear everything going on and then I started to fit I guessed as I seemed to hear Carlisle say something along the line. She's fitting everyone out. Or something like that. Then guess what nothing. I was crumbling away faster and faster, I was being eroded by a storm of the sea. Though as soon as I was out I wsa in the dream again this time I didn't jump straight away I turned round to see Jacob crying.

"Nez, please don't this is it this is your dream don't jump Nez no Nez no what am I supposed to say to Edward and Bella" It was all very strange it was almost if I wasn't me if I had known this was coming I was prepared I didn't want to jump but I couldn't not. I ran up to Jacob gave him my letter for my family and one from him.

"Jake im doing this to save the family, then they don't have to meet her and well suffer" after this I walked towards the cliff edge but it wasn't right. I ran back to Jacob "I love you I whispered in his ear as jumped into his arms hi whirled me around. He kissed me, but I pulled myself away before I changed my mind. This time I ran to the cliff edge and jumped off the edge and heard them all, all 3 Goodbye I love you hoping my father could hear me some how. When I hit the waters edge everything clicked into place the peacefulness, wanting to see the fish, running out of breathe. It all clicked and then I was close to breathing and I got pulled back down again. Then a scream and yes it was my own again.

My eyes flung open, I stopped screaming straight away.

"Carlisle" I screamed as soon as I saw him I gave him a massive hug to thank him and to reassure myself I was still here.

"what was that for kid?" he questioned he didn't normally get hugs

"Cant I give you hug? I feel like have been on my own for years"

"Well not years but days" Days how I loved them so. I had missed so many and I had been all on my own in pain, well people were always around me but still I felt alone.

"Carlisle what wrong with me?" I hadn't asked anyone that question yet it was the biggest one.

"Good question. I have a theory though when you feel down the stairs, you well did something to your back Its like your version of a jarred back. But this triggered something like almost a genetic war. There are two parts of you Human and Vampire. They are almost still trying to link together connect if you like, but when you feel they fought against each other. That's why you cant do much your body is not working together. The attack started in your back and that's where the pain triggered from. Your head hurts because it's coping with to much. Your stomach not your usually diet you can't eat with out vomiting you probably wont remember that. I need to see your back though. Im going to have to turn you over." He answered honestly and I could almost understand what was happening to me. My body was a civil war.

"It will hurt, would you like your parent and Jacob here when we turn you?" he admitted the pain he was going to put me through. I was prepared mostly because Jake was going to be with me and my parents of course. A few minuets later mum came through the door I beamed my best smile at her and went to touch her face she almost flinched away but she put my hand to her face and I showed her how sorry I was for what I put her through.

"My Nez my Renesmee. It was never your fault, but you can't see or know what I saw. Trust me on this." I was always going to trust my ma not matter what she asked.

"I have always trusted you, and always will" I smiled at her half heartedly. The silence was unbearable, though it was only one minute and 33 seconds it seemed well a lot longer than that. Then Dad and Jacob walked through the door mid way through a conversation they seemed to be acting like brothers, like he was Emmett or Dad was Seth. Carlisle followed immediately then after him Jasper. I guess he had sent himself here not for me but for everyone else. Dad nodded as into say yes that's why he is here.

"Nez, on three im going to turn you, Bella and Edward hold Renesmee hands so she can squeeze them though you will have to let go Nez when we have to turn you, I suggest you just swap them over, now depending what has happened to your back depends on what the next stage is." Carlisle said in a business like tone, not like he was dealing with family but just another patient in the hospital. I did as he said and held both my parents hand.

"So what do I do?" Jacob asked in a solemn tone.

"Jake she wants you here, you're here for support" Carlisle sounded in annoyed but im sure it was more like a, and? Jake nodded once and took two steps back he didn't realise I was looking at him, but when he did he smiled, but I couldn't smile back I was to nervous. His smile only got bigger in reassurance, it didn't work.

"3-" at this point I turned my head to look in my fathers eyes, he looked nervous for me and he squeezed my hand, he could tell I was scared as I had no thoughts, where as normally I was thinking I always seemed to be thinking, I could be silent for hours just sitting on the sofa or laying on bed and just think.

"2-" the next number the squeeze weakened on both sides I tensed every muscle in my body, still no thoughts.

"1" the final number both hands dropped and Carlisles and Jaspers hands were under my back and before I knew it I was staring in my mothers' eyes. The pain came shortly after It stabbed from all directions, I could feel my eyes change colour, my muscles tighten and well the owws from my parents as I retook their hands and squeezed as tightly I could.

"O" heard Jacob gasp. "Sorry, I can't" and with that he was out of the room. O dear what had happened to my back? I constantly started into my mothers eyes. She seemed to have calmness about them.

"Edward, Bella I think you should see this" Carlisle whispered.