Title: Relative Deprivation
Author: Melpomene
Email: Melpomene@addlebrain.com, melpomene@stories.com
Spoilers: none
Disclaimer: Well, since the Stafford loan folks still "own" me, I can honestly say that I have no claims on anything that might even vaguely be considered a money making venture, unlike the writers, etc. of Roswell... And regardless of what they all say, waiting tables ends up costing you more than you earn.
Author's notes: This is a future-fic follow up piece to "Homecoming" but I figure it can stand alone as well, I'd still read the other first if I were you.
Aditional Author's note: I'm not so sure I'm happy with this piece. It may be seriously edited once I put up the next part...
Dedication: for Koren because I miss the intensity of the friendship we once shared... and because I was the one who fled town in the middle of the night.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Return
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
March 2009
"Relative deprivation."
Alex looked up at Liz's approach. "What?"
Sliding into the booth to sit across from her old friend, she smiled. They relaxed in the calm of the pre-lunch rush at the Crashdown, at the same booth that, in their high school days, had been frequented by the alien trio and later by Tess as well.
"It's just that, I don't know how to explain it exactly..." Liz sighed and knit her brows together in concentration. "It's like I feel less alone when I'm not here. At home I'm surrounded by so many things that need my attention that I don't have the time to think about it at all. But when I'm here? All I have is time. I guess that's why I don't really like to visit very often."
"So you feel deprived, relative to where you are physically."
"Exactly." Liz let her eyes wander from Alex to the window behind him.
Maybe it was due to Roswell itself. Nothing ever seemed to change, no matter what actually occurred. The town looked the same as it always had, from the time she and Maria had driven Alex crazy by insisting on playing with Barbies at her ninth birthday party to the present with the ongoing alien festivals and UFO crazed tourists. She caught herself watching for the same faces she had always seen. Faces she knew she wouldn't find.
"I know what you mean. It's been what, almost eight years now, and I still expect Maria to walk up to take my order, or to see one of Isabel's scathing looks, or even Michael's sour expression." He stirred his drink absently. "Did you ever find out what happened to her? You knew her mom better than I did."
She shook her head sadly. "I was so sure she'd come back for the funeral, I felt certain she'd somehow find out about what had happened. I guess I was wrong. Sheriff Valenti did find a handful of postcards at her mom's house just after the accident. He tried tracking her down that way but they were from all over and he couldn't find her."
They fell into a contemplative silence and Liz continued to watch the activity of the town through the window. Cars passed on the street, pedestrians walked by on the sidewalk. Nothing spectacular had happened in Roswell since December 2001, the day her best friend had disappeared.
A sudden thought struck her. "Alex, why did you come back? Why now? I mean I know I haven't thought about visiting in ages, except for holidays. Why did you come back to Roswell now?"
Alex looked perplexed. He wasn't exactly sure himself. "I don't know. I woke up yesterday and had to come. I even had to cancel a gig we'd had planed since December, but I couldn't not come. What about you?"
Liz watched him for a moment before she spoke. "The same thing. I had been working late at the lab on a project and was headed home when I ended up coming this way instead. It was strange, almost as if I wasn't in control of my own body."
"Roswell's a bit of a detour from San Francisco, Liz," he teased, trying to lift the unease of uncertainty that had settled in her eyes.
"I know," she laughed and admitted, "I can't explain it. You should have seen the looks on my parents' faces when I showed up on their doorstep. What's stranger still is the feeling that Maria's going to walk in the door at any moment: Cyprus oil, glitter, and all. I mean, subconsciously I always expect to see her, but this feeling I have now is just so strong."
Alex nodded his understanding. For months after Maria had left, he had watched for her, and when he had finally pulled out of Roswell he found himself scanning the crowds in Austin in the hope that he'd catch a glimpse of her face. As the years went by, the feeling, the expectation, dimmed. Yet every time the Crashdown's front door opened, he found himself turning to see if it was her.
"It's silly I guess," Liz said at last, shaking her head to clear it of the foolishness by which she felt plagued. "I just wish I could see her again, tell her it's okay, that I'm not mad at her. It was such a totally confusing time for all of us and getting out of Roswell was probably the best thing she could have done. There are too many memories here. I just wish she'd let us say goodbye, or that she was leaving at all."
"You never were angry with her, were you?"
"No, I'd like to think I understood the inclination to run. I certainly felt it, I just couldn't justify leaving my family. And I didn't have anywhere to go, but then again, neither did Maria. I miss her too much to be angry with her."
~~~
Maria sat in the car, torn between an inexplicable need to be in Roswell and a fear of what she would find.
'Well,' she decided, 'I didn't drive all the way across the country to back out now.'
"Are you hungry, Mickey?" She turned around in her seat to face the child who had already unbuckled her seatbelt and was watching the town with her small hands and nose pressed up against the window.
"Uh huh. Can we get a cheese sandwich?"
The hopeful expression in the little girl's eyes brought a smile to Maria's own. "Sure thing, pipsqueak. One cheese sandwich coming up!"
"With fries?"
"Now what good would it do you to have just a cheese sandwich?" she teased. "Fries are a given."
"And Tabasco. Do they have Tabasco?"
Maria closed her eyes briefly. "Yeah baby, don't you worry about that."
~~~
"Hey, you wanna head out to the quarry later?"
"Yeah," Liz grinned at the thought. "That sounds like a great idea."
Alex rose and walked across the restaurant to the cash register to pay his bill and Liz followed as they continued to formulate their plans. Their attention temporarily diverted, they didn't notice when the door opened.
~~~
"I want to sit..." Mickey twirled around in a circle, her fair curls shining like spun gold in the sunlight streaming in through the window, "here!"
Temporarily blinded by the sudden change from bright sunlight to dim interior, Maria followed her child by instinct more than observation, waiting for her eyes to adjust. Her step faltered when Mickey claimed the booth. It was just a logical choice, she tried to convince herself, it didn't mean anything.
"I guess we'll sit here then." She smiled at the girl, hoping she hadn't picked up on her reticence. Sometimes Mickey could be too intuitive, grasping nuances of emotion far better than a six year old should.
Liz's head jerked around at the familiar voice, the same voice she still sometimes heard in her dreams. Maria's voice.
There were only two other people in the restaurant. The woman was seated at the same booth she and Alex had just vacated, her head bent toward the child in front of her. Even with most of her face obscured by the pale cascade of waves that tumbled forward, Liz recognized her. Frozen in place, she refocused her attention on the child who shared the booth with Maria.
A sudden tidal wave of memory struck Liz like a lightning bolt:
A little girl with golden curls and flashing eyes stood up to the second grade bully who had not only knocked Alex down on the playground at recess but had laughed when he cried. Full of ire, the little girl raised her tiny fists, her face screwed up into what she hoped was a threatening expression as she stood her ground. She wouldn't back down: he had made her friend cry, he deserved to have someone make him cry too. And he had cried, although not because of the pint sized Maria's attempt at vengeance, but rather because he tripped over the curb and cut his hand trying to get away from her.
If Liz hadn't known better, she would have sworn that the child Maria had been had just walked into the café and seated herself at the booth much the same as she and Maria had done so many times before. But it was impossible. And the little girl's eyes weren't quite right, they were different -familiar but different all the same. It only took a moment for her to recall where she'd seen those eyes before.
"Oh my God..."
"Liz? What's wrong?" Alex turned toward her, his shameless flirting with Mr. Parker's new waitress forgotten. He was surprised to find Liz standing behind him, unmoving. "What's the matter?" Keeping his voice low so he wouldn't draw any attention to them, he waved his hand in front of her face. "Earth to Liz?"
She tried to say something, anything, but the words wouldn't come, wouldn't even form in her thoughts as she continued to stare at the couple seated at the booth.
She had played out their reunion so many times in her daydreams but she was caught, with the opportunity at hand, completely unprepared. Over the years, she had imagined a veritable plethora of possible situations but not one of those imaginings had ever included a child with Maria's face and Michael's eyes.
Author: Melpomene
Email: Melpomene@addlebrain.com, melpomene@stories.com
Spoilers: none
Disclaimer: Well, since the Stafford loan folks still "own" me, I can honestly say that I have no claims on anything that might even vaguely be considered a money making venture, unlike the writers, etc. of Roswell... And regardless of what they all say, waiting tables ends up costing you more than you earn.
Author's notes: This is a future-fic follow up piece to "Homecoming" but I figure it can stand alone as well, I'd still read the other first if I were you.
Aditional Author's note: I'm not so sure I'm happy with this piece. It may be seriously edited once I put up the next part...
Dedication: for Koren because I miss the intensity of the friendship we once shared... and because I was the one who fled town in the middle of the night.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Return
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
March 2009
"Relative deprivation."
Alex looked up at Liz's approach. "What?"
Sliding into the booth to sit across from her old friend, she smiled. They relaxed in the calm of the pre-lunch rush at the Crashdown, at the same booth that, in their high school days, had been frequented by the alien trio and later by Tess as well.
"It's just that, I don't know how to explain it exactly..." Liz sighed and knit her brows together in concentration. "It's like I feel less alone when I'm not here. At home I'm surrounded by so many things that need my attention that I don't have the time to think about it at all. But when I'm here? All I have is time. I guess that's why I don't really like to visit very often."
"So you feel deprived, relative to where you are physically."
"Exactly." Liz let her eyes wander from Alex to the window behind him.
Maybe it was due to Roswell itself. Nothing ever seemed to change, no matter what actually occurred. The town looked the same as it always had, from the time she and Maria had driven Alex crazy by insisting on playing with Barbies at her ninth birthday party to the present with the ongoing alien festivals and UFO crazed tourists. She caught herself watching for the same faces she had always seen. Faces she knew she wouldn't find.
"I know what you mean. It's been what, almost eight years now, and I still expect Maria to walk up to take my order, or to see one of Isabel's scathing looks, or even Michael's sour expression." He stirred his drink absently. "Did you ever find out what happened to her? You knew her mom better than I did."
She shook her head sadly. "I was so sure she'd come back for the funeral, I felt certain she'd somehow find out about what had happened. I guess I was wrong. Sheriff Valenti did find a handful of postcards at her mom's house just after the accident. He tried tracking her down that way but they were from all over and he couldn't find her."
They fell into a contemplative silence and Liz continued to watch the activity of the town through the window. Cars passed on the street, pedestrians walked by on the sidewalk. Nothing spectacular had happened in Roswell since December 2001, the day her best friend had disappeared.
A sudden thought struck her. "Alex, why did you come back? Why now? I mean I know I haven't thought about visiting in ages, except for holidays. Why did you come back to Roswell now?"
Alex looked perplexed. He wasn't exactly sure himself. "I don't know. I woke up yesterday and had to come. I even had to cancel a gig we'd had planed since December, but I couldn't not come. What about you?"
Liz watched him for a moment before she spoke. "The same thing. I had been working late at the lab on a project and was headed home when I ended up coming this way instead. It was strange, almost as if I wasn't in control of my own body."
"Roswell's a bit of a detour from San Francisco, Liz," he teased, trying to lift the unease of uncertainty that had settled in her eyes.
"I know," she laughed and admitted, "I can't explain it. You should have seen the looks on my parents' faces when I showed up on their doorstep. What's stranger still is the feeling that Maria's going to walk in the door at any moment: Cyprus oil, glitter, and all. I mean, subconsciously I always expect to see her, but this feeling I have now is just so strong."
Alex nodded his understanding. For months after Maria had left, he had watched for her, and when he had finally pulled out of Roswell he found himself scanning the crowds in Austin in the hope that he'd catch a glimpse of her face. As the years went by, the feeling, the expectation, dimmed. Yet every time the Crashdown's front door opened, he found himself turning to see if it was her.
"It's silly I guess," Liz said at last, shaking her head to clear it of the foolishness by which she felt plagued. "I just wish I could see her again, tell her it's okay, that I'm not mad at her. It was such a totally confusing time for all of us and getting out of Roswell was probably the best thing she could have done. There are too many memories here. I just wish she'd let us say goodbye, or that she was leaving at all."
"You never were angry with her, were you?"
"No, I'd like to think I understood the inclination to run. I certainly felt it, I just couldn't justify leaving my family. And I didn't have anywhere to go, but then again, neither did Maria. I miss her too much to be angry with her."
~~~
Maria sat in the car, torn between an inexplicable need to be in Roswell and a fear of what she would find.
'Well,' she decided, 'I didn't drive all the way across the country to back out now.'
"Are you hungry, Mickey?" She turned around in her seat to face the child who had already unbuckled her seatbelt and was watching the town with her small hands and nose pressed up against the window.
"Uh huh. Can we get a cheese sandwich?"
The hopeful expression in the little girl's eyes brought a smile to Maria's own. "Sure thing, pipsqueak. One cheese sandwich coming up!"
"With fries?"
"Now what good would it do you to have just a cheese sandwich?" she teased. "Fries are a given."
"And Tabasco. Do they have Tabasco?"
Maria closed her eyes briefly. "Yeah baby, don't you worry about that."
~~~
"Hey, you wanna head out to the quarry later?"
"Yeah," Liz grinned at the thought. "That sounds like a great idea."
Alex rose and walked across the restaurant to the cash register to pay his bill and Liz followed as they continued to formulate their plans. Their attention temporarily diverted, they didn't notice when the door opened.
~~~
"I want to sit..." Mickey twirled around in a circle, her fair curls shining like spun gold in the sunlight streaming in through the window, "here!"
Temporarily blinded by the sudden change from bright sunlight to dim interior, Maria followed her child by instinct more than observation, waiting for her eyes to adjust. Her step faltered when Mickey claimed the booth. It was just a logical choice, she tried to convince herself, it didn't mean anything.
"I guess we'll sit here then." She smiled at the girl, hoping she hadn't picked up on her reticence. Sometimes Mickey could be too intuitive, grasping nuances of emotion far better than a six year old should.
Liz's head jerked around at the familiar voice, the same voice she still sometimes heard in her dreams. Maria's voice.
There were only two other people in the restaurant. The woman was seated at the same booth she and Alex had just vacated, her head bent toward the child in front of her. Even with most of her face obscured by the pale cascade of waves that tumbled forward, Liz recognized her. Frozen in place, she refocused her attention on the child who shared the booth with Maria.
A sudden tidal wave of memory struck Liz like a lightning bolt:
A little girl with golden curls and flashing eyes stood up to the second grade bully who had not only knocked Alex down on the playground at recess but had laughed when he cried. Full of ire, the little girl raised her tiny fists, her face screwed up into what she hoped was a threatening expression as she stood her ground. She wouldn't back down: he had made her friend cry, he deserved to have someone make him cry too. And he had cried, although not because of the pint sized Maria's attempt at vengeance, but rather because he tripped over the curb and cut his hand trying to get away from her.
If Liz hadn't known better, she would have sworn that the child Maria had been had just walked into the café and seated herself at the booth much the same as she and Maria had done so many times before. But it was impossible. And the little girl's eyes weren't quite right, they were different -familiar but different all the same. It only took a moment for her to recall where she'd seen those eyes before.
"Oh my God..."
"Liz? What's wrong?" Alex turned toward her, his shameless flirting with Mr. Parker's new waitress forgotten. He was surprised to find Liz standing behind him, unmoving. "What's the matter?" Keeping his voice low so he wouldn't draw any attention to them, he waved his hand in front of her face. "Earth to Liz?"
She tried to say something, anything, but the words wouldn't come, wouldn't even form in her thoughts as she continued to stare at the couple seated at the booth.
She had played out their reunion so many times in her daydreams but she was caught, with the opportunity at hand, completely unprepared. Over the years, she had imagined a veritable plethora of possible situations but not one of those imaginings had ever included a child with Maria's face and Michael's eyes.