Disclaimer: Sadly Castle and its characters don't belong to me. :(
She walked over to him, apprehension in her eyes. When she was about a foot away from him, Kate stopped, hooking her fingers together loosely somewhere under her sternum. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other and opened her mouth.
Nothing came out.
Fiddling with her hand again, she tried once more but the results were the same. He looked on at her, worried.
His right hand rose on its own accord, on it's way to its rightful place on her upper arm, ready to soothe her. However, before his hand had even completed its ascend, he remembered. They were partners; sure, but never close like that.
Dropping his hand, he looked in her eyes. "Beckett, what's wrong?"
She just stared back at him wordlessly, conflict in her eyes. She might lose him forever after this. Her partner and constant companion throughout the years. And suddenly she was seeking him out for comfort. She needed the comfort he was offering. Dropping her hands, she stepped into his personal space and hugged him, burrowing her head into his chest.
It felt like home. A home that she was about to destroy with her next words.
Although shocked by her sudden embrace, Castle didn't take long to react, his arms enveloping her instinctively. "Kate, what's wrong? You know you can tell me anything," he murmured, truly concerned now.
She took a deep breath and leant back, pushing her upper body away from him but still remaining in his embrace. Looking into his eyes with trepidation, she said softly but clearly, "I remember. That day in the cemetery – I remember everything."
She saw the lights die out from his eyes as his face went slack and his arms dropped. He recoiled from her, the words she had just put out there hurting him worse than anything he had ever experienced. Her betrayal of their trust drove deep.
She remembered? His love confession, everything he had felt, he put out there on the day he truly thought she was going to be lost to him. All this time, she remembered? The hurt and backlash was all too much.
All this time, she knew, but kept silent, stringing him along like a poor deluded puppy. Did she pity him? Was that why she remained quiet, trying to protect him from the shame, out of pity? He didn't need her pity. He doesn't want it. Any of it.
Or was she too embarrassed by what he had said? Pretending that she had no recollection as to spare his feelings.
Was she laughing at his naivety the whole time? Basking in his adoration of her, knowing the power and sway she held over him.
All he could do was mutter weakly, "Why?"
One broken word; a single syllable, and yet it held so much. His accusation and question; anger, hurt and resentment; all conveyed in those three letters.
"I'm sorry, I should have told you sooner," she started, taking a step toward him.
He met her, striding purposefully toward Kate. "Hell yeah, you should have said something sooner. Like, I don't know, maybe months ago?!" he shouted at her.
"Was it all a joke to you? Something to share with the boys; to laugh at behind my back? Did you want to see how long you could string me along, maybe?" he growled menacingly, standing right in front of her, towering over her.
"Castle, it wasn't like that. I didn't tell anyone besides my psychiatrist," she defended weakly.
Rick Castle was having none of that. He was humiliated and hurt, but right now he was mainly angry – all he wanted to do was lash out and hurt her as badly as she had hurt him. Looking down at her, he sneered cynically. "Or did you pity me; were you embarrassed by me? After all we've been through, Kate, don't you think you could at least have the decency to respect me a little. Couldn't you at least treat me like a man and tell me earlier. This is a whole new low for you, Kate Beckett. Fat load of good your psychiatrist did for you," he spit out bitterly.
She knew that when she came clean, it would get ugly and messy between them, but she had never expected things to deteriorate so quickly. "You've got it all wrong, Rick," she protested, "None of what you've said is true. I didn't tell you earlier because I couldn't."
He snorted and turned to walk away but she shot out a hand to hold him in place. "Wait, Rick, wait, please," she pleaded, holding firmly onto him. He took a deep breath but reluctantly turned around to face her once more nonetheless.
She looked him in the face, baring her soul to him, wearing her emotions on her metaphorical sleeves. He deserved this. "I couldn't tell you, because I wasn't prepared. I was afraid, Castle, hell, I was terrified. I wasn't in any sort of stable emotional status, I just wasn't prepared to hear those words. I didn't know how I felt about you, or how I felt about your… confession. Hell, I was still with Josh at the time! I needed to buy time to think, and to sort things out. I wanted to work out my issues so that I could face what you said. So I pretended not to remember. I'm not proud of it, but at the time, it seemed to be the best choice," she finished lamely.
"So why now?" he scoffed, still angry with her. Her words had appeased him somewhat, putting out some of the flames, but there was no way she would get off the hook so easily, especially considering how she had treated him.
"Remember when we talked at the swings, after I came back and looked for you. I meant what I said. And," she hedged hesitantly, "I'm there now. I think I'm emotionally at a place where I can be happy in a relationship."
Seeing his eyes soften just a tad bit, she ventured nervously, "So I thought you ought to know that, and I was wondering if you still feel the same way?"
When he didn't reply, she dropped her gaze to look at the floor. Her hair fanned forward in a cascade to block her face. Paint her surprised when his hand slowly led her chin up, catching her eye once more. In a shaky low tone, he murmured, "And if I do?"
Kate's face broke into a smile as she answered his question wordlessly. Her hands snaked around him to bring him closer to her, pulling him in for a kiss.
They both needed to learn to forgive each other and move on, not to mention all the other issues they still had to work out, but in that short moment when their lips touched, just that short span of time, all was right in the world.
And it would continue so, as long as they had each other.
This is my first fic ever so please review and let me know your thoughts so that i can improve. Constructive criticism will be much appreciated :)