TOGETHER FOREVER
1 Spike
I really don't think what I did, or have done, is a sin. It's my nature. Well, it's not my nature now when you think about it, not after what Buffy and the army boys did to me, and you can also add what I did to Buffy and the Nibblet. Personally, I think they all deserve it. They knew it was coming, didn't they? This is why I came to Africa, to show them who I really am. You know him, William the Bloody, the poet, with a soul. Now, I want to get the soul in, or the evil out, whichever you prefer. I can barely wait. Every night, I would lay in this cave going over his memories. I can't believe I did those things. I can hear children screaming, crying as they see me torture their parents, and then move on to them. I can still feel the heat of to blazing fire at the Boxer Rebellion, where I killed my first slayer. I…I feel the dust of the bone falling on my hand from the bone of innocent people as I drive my railroad spikes through their heads. No, no! I cannot say, or think, that that was ever me!
Okay, now I can get back to why I'm in a cave in Africa. I'm here to get a soul. Maybe if they see me with a soul, they'll start treating me with a little respect. All except the whelp, of course. I can't see him showing me any respect. And if he did, I'd run all the way back to Africa in fright.
I know I have to back to Sunnydale, or Sunnyhell. I'm actually on the boat right now. I wish I didn't have vampire senses. It smells so bad down in the storage room. We just pulled up in the Santa Ana marine port. I can't wait to see Buffy, to tell her. But I am kind of scared…no, anxious. Yes, anxious, because I don't know how she'll react. Will she be happy now that I have a soul, because I can act like a human, or maybe, she'll hate me, because of that ''rape'' thing? It wasn't rape; it was his way I learned to show affection, from Drusilla, Angel, and Darla. Isn't that the right way?
2 Buffy
I decided to walk down by the Santa Ana marine port. For some reason, watching the ships and seagulls and smelling the salt air always calmed me down. I sat down on a large box, watching a massive boat pull up into the harbor gracefully. The wind blew gently and I shivered slightly. I watched as the men from the boat began to climb down and load carts off the boat. Then I noticed something; the boat came from Africa. I wanted to pull my eyes away, but then noticed a figure far off from the other men. None of his skin was showing. I drew in my breath with a choking gasp. It was he. It was Spike.
3 Spike
Oh, no. Oh God no. Even from far off, I could sense her. Buffy was staring at me, her eyes boring into my shoulder blades. I heard her walk over. Then, for the first time in months, I heard her voice.
''I will kill you.''
I spun around quickly.
''Oh Buffy! Just please listen to me!'' I pleaded, even though I knew I wasn't going to win this argument. ''I know what I did was wrong, but I've tried to fix it, and I think I succe-''
Her eyes filled with pure, deep anger. She looked at me with pure hate. ''You. Raped. Me. There is no excuse for that. I don't know what you did, and I don't care.'' She leaned closer to me, her voice growing colder with every word. ''Like I said, if you ever touch Dawn, my friends, or me ever again, I will kill you. You're an evil, soulless monster. You always have been, and always will be.''
As she stalked away, her words hit me like a ton of bricks. I staggered away, my stomach lurching. When I was finally away from all the crowds, I fell to my knees and wrenching sobs escaped my throat. I suddenly had a flashback to my childhood.
3.1 London, England 1863
3.1.1 It was a cold, blistering night. Snowflakes fell on a small boy's, William Harper's face. Mixing in with his tears, chunks of hard ice formed on his cheeks. Even though London was a populated city, it gave the feeling of being empty. The few people that still walked the streets this late at night were mostly criminals and drunkards, so he did not hold out his week, pale hands for money. Suddenly, the doors the Rouge Battalion, one of London's most classy nightclubs, opened. Only chaps with money went there, and it was highly unlikely they had enough money to spend the night. Well, out of these doors came a group of portly men who fit this description. One had a gold money clip. Little William held out his hands and began to whimper, only this time it was not an act. He had not eaten for days and was shaking violently with the terrible cold. The group of men stopped, and William began to think these men were kinder than the other strangers who had rejected him with a cold shoulder were. Then, the men began to laugh a drunken laugh. It sounded so cruel and evil and cold. He began to cry harder.
3.1.2 The leader kicked him onto the street, and the laughter continued, as it always would in Spike's mind. He would also remember the words the leader said next.
''Why can't London streetsweepers take care of the trash on the streets? We mustn't have to put up with creatures, things, if you will.'' From that day on, the orphan William thought of himself as a thing, because in you lived in 19th century London, you believed what the rich man said. Because of that night, he had stopped trying, and after 17 years of living on luck, Dru found him. And still, he had never been happy.
4 Spike
And then, I thought, Buffy had found me. I began to love her, which was odd, because I had never really loved anything. When we first started to sleep together, I thought she might actually care for me, but she was just in it for the sex. Now, I remember how many times she called me a thing. Why did I think she could love me when that's what she thought of me? A thing, a creature, a soulless being, that's all I ever was to her! And now I've got a soul... and she doesn't even see it.
Spike moved back into his crypt that night, and had to undergo the grueling task of kicking Clem out. He just laid their, thinking about things. A few hours later his door creaked open. He didn't bother to look up. It turned out to be Willow.
''Look Spike, I know what you've done, and I'm actually willing to forgive you. Even though Buffy's my best friend, I'm willing to give you a second chance. I hate to admit it, but I think Buffy kind of deserved it. You're nice, you really are, and she was taking advantage of you.''
He looked up at this, startled. Then she sat on the bed, looking at him seriously. ''What happened when you were in Africa?''
''Willow,'' he said bluntly. ''I got a soul.''
Willow gasped. She reached out and touched his arm gently. ''Oh, Spike,'' was all she could make out.
He continued more bluntly then ever. ''I don't know what to do. Buffy still has it in her bloody mind that I'm just a monster. But, I just can't believe I did that to her. Arghh!'' He ripped at his hair in frustration.
She wasn't sure what to do. She had never seen him like this before. ''Uh, Spike? Do you want to be left alone?''
''Please.''
When she left, he feel to the floor, crying.
Also that night, Dawn sat on her bed writing in her diary. She had decided to buy one on an impulsive shopping spree with Janice, even though she personally thought diaries were stupid. Although tonight, she was glad to have it.
She wrote, ''God, does anyone even know I'm alive anymore? I swear, the only time anybody ever cared about me was when the realized that I was the Key! It's a Saturday night, and I'm sitting here all alone. Everybody else has dates or parties, you know normal stuff. Of course, I have a Slayer for a sister, and she thinks I can't protect myself. Geez! It's not like I'm going to go walking around the cemeteries, looking for vamps…''
Dawn jumped up from her bed, grabbed her jacket, and headed for Spike's crypt. Even though Buffy had said not to go near him, she knew that he would never hurt her. He loved her. But he loved Buffy, too, she thought. She shook that thought from her mind. Spike was her best friend.
As she walked into his crypt, desperately seeking advice, or maybe a spell, she heard a small noise. At first, she thought it was a mouse. Then, she walked into the basement and saw her vampire crouched on the floor.
He heard her come in. He turned around, his eyes still red.
''I guess you caught me.'' It sounded like a statement and a confession all at once.
''Were you…crying?''
''I suppose so.''
''Why?''
''It's too complicated for a girl your age to understand.''
Suddenly, without even asking, she understood everything. Her face showed it.
''Did you also get the part where I got a soul?''
She didn't say anything, but sat down next to him and buried her face into his chest. He held her close.
''I know,'' she said softly. ''You're like me. You just want to be loved.''
''You're right. I would give anything if Buffy loved me, like the way she loved Angel, or hell, even Captain America.''
''If it helps, I love you.''
''It does,'' he said, his tears falling gently on her hair. A lump formed in his throat.
''Nobody loves me. They all treat me like I'm just in the way, like a roadblock or something.'' She said this cold but sarcastically.
''You're the baby. They got to love you.''
''No they don't!'' She yelled. Then, she started sobbing uncontrollably.
''No…they…don't.'' She whispered again, her words finally sinking in.
''I love you.'' He whispered this to calm her down. Incredibly, it worked.
''You're the only one…the only one.'' She sobbed.
Same here, he thought. He was still crying.
Buffy came home late again, with dinner, or a midnight snack, from the Doublemeat Palace.
''Dawn! I've got dinner!''
Then she remembered something. The door had been unlocked when she came in.
''Oh God.''
After a few hours of just lying there with Dawn in his arms, he finally convinced himself of doing it. He gently moved her away from him so he could get up. He went over to his weapons chest and pulled out a steak. Then, Spike began to think of what Dawn would do if she woke up and found a pile of ashes and a steak on the floor. She would kill herself, he thought. Before he could put the steak back, she opened her eyes.
''Spike! Oh, Spike! Please don't kill yourself, not after all this…''
''I thought about it, Nibblet. But I won't, because of you.''
Her face grew thoughtful.
''If you do it, I will.''
''NO! I refuse to stand here and watch you kill yourself.''
''Then we'll do it at the same time. It's not like anyone will miss us.''
''Dawn…'' he said pleadingly.
She looked at him with sad, teary eyes. ''I can't do this anymore.'' Her voice was cracking. ''I have to. I can't stand to live, to be around all these people who have caring families and tons of friends and are fucking LOVED!''
He gazed down at her. ''Okay.''
Buffy raced through the graveyard. Amazingly, no vamps or demons had sunk up on here. She prayed she got there in time.
Dawn took the knife from the weapons chest. She sliced her wrist hard and deep enough to kill herself. They had made a deal. When Dawn was seconds away from death, Spike would stake himself. That way, they would die at the same time. She looked up at him. God, she was so bloody pale, but I love her, he thought. Before he staked himself, they grabbed hands. Then he plunged the steak into his heart, and their hands broke free. They died at the same moment.
One moment after, Buffy burst through the stone door. She ran into the basement, but all she saw was a knife, a steak, and Spike and Dawn's remains. She stood in shock, then feel to the floor, crying and puking because of the blood and the sheer sickness of the whole thing.
Six days later, all the scoobies, minus two, were standing in the graveyard, wearing all black. They all couldn't believe it as they stared at Dawn's small body. Suddenly, Buffy knew she what she had done. Dawn felt that she wasn't loved, and the way she had treated Spike was terrible. She started to cry, and Willow held her. Only she knew why this had happened, but she would never, ever tell.
They had buried Dawn in a beautiful black dress. It the crook of her arm they placed a small jar with Spike's ashes and his duster, folded up small enough to fit. They thought it was only right. They had always wanted to be together, and now always would be.
5 THE END
.
5.1.1
1 Spike
I really don't think what I did, or have done, is a sin. It's my nature. Well, it's not my nature now when you think about it, not after what Buffy and the army boys did to me, and you can also add what I did to Buffy and the Nibblet. Personally, I think they all deserve it. They knew it was coming, didn't they? This is why I came to Africa, to show them who I really am. You know him, William the Bloody, the poet, with a soul. Now, I want to get the soul in, or the evil out, whichever you prefer. I can barely wait. Every night, I would lay in this cave going over his memories. I can't believe I did those things. I can hear children screaming, crying as they see me torture their parents, and then move on to them. I can still feel the heat of to blazing fire at the Boxer Rebellion, where I killed my first slayer. I…I feel the dust of the bone falling on my hand from the bone of innocent people as I drive my railroad spikes through their heads. No, no! I cannot say, or think, that that was ever me!
Okay, now I can get back to why I'm in a cave in Africa. I'm here to get a soul. Maybe if they see me with a soul, they'll start treating me with a little respect. All except the whelp, of course. I can't see him showing me any respect. And if he did, I'd run all the way back to Africa in fright.
I know I have to back to Sunnydale, or Sunnyhell. I'm actually on the boat right now. I wish I didn't have vampire senses. It smells so bad down in the storage room. We just pulled up in the Santa Ana marine port. I can't wait to see Buffy, to tell her. But I am kind of scared…no, anxious. Yes, anxious, because I don't know how she'll react. Will she be happy now that I have a soul, because I can act like a human, or maybe, she'll hate me, because of that ''rape'' thing? It wasn't rape; it was his way I learned to show affection, from Drusilla, Angel, and Darla. Isn't that the right way?
2 Buffy
I decided to walk down by the Santa Ana marine port. For some reason, watching the ships and seagulls and smelling the salt air always calmed me down. I sat down on a large box, watching a massive boat pull up into the harbor gracefully. The wind blew gently and I shivered slightly. I watched as the men from the boat began to climb down and load carts off the boat. Then I noticed something; the boat came from Africa. I wanted to pull my eyes away, but then noticed a figure far off from the other men. None of his skin was showing. I drew in my breath with a choking gasp. It was he. It was Spike.
3 Spike
Oh, no. Oh God no. Even from far off, I could sense her. Buffy was staring at me, her eyes boring into my shoulder blades. I heard her walk over. Then, for the first time in months, I heard her voice.
''I will kill you.''
I spun around quickly.
''Oh Buffy! Just please listen to me!'' I pleaded, even though I knew I wasn't going to win this argument. ''I know what I did was wrong, but I've tried to fix it, and I think I succe-''
Her eyes filled with pure, deep anger. She looked at me with pure hate. ''You. Raped. Me. There is no excuse for that. I don't know what you did, and I don't care.'' She leaned closer to me, her voice growing colder with every word. ''Like I said, if you ever touch Dawn, my friends, or me ever again, I will kill you. You're an evil, soulless monster. You always have been, and always will be.''
As she stalked away, her words hit me like a ton of bricks. I staggered away, my stomach lurching. When I was finally away from all the crowds, I fell to my knees and wrenching sobs escaped my throat. I suddenly had a flashback to my childhood.
3.1 London, England 1863
3.1.1 It was a cold, blistering night. Snowflakes fell on a small boy's, William Harper's face. Mixing in with his tears, chunks of hard ice formed on his cheeks. Even though London was a populated city, it gave the feeling of being empty. The few people that still walked the streets this late at night were mostly criminals and drunkards, so he did not hold out his week, pale hands for money. Suddenly, the doors the Rouge Battalion, one of London's most classy nightclubs, opened. Only chaps with money went there, and it was highly unlikely they had enough money to spend the night. Well, out of these doors came a group of portly men who fit this description. One had a gold money clip. Little William held out his hands and began to whimper, only this time it was not an act. He had not eaten for days and was shaking violently with the terrible cold. The group of men stopped, and William began to think these men were kinder than the other strangers who had rejected him with a cold shoulder were. Then, the men began to laugh a drunken laugh. It sounded so cruel and evil and cold. He began to cry harder.
3.1.2 The leader kicked him onto the street, and the laughter continued, as it always would in Spike's mind. He would also remember the words the leader said next.
''Why can't London streetsweepers take care of the trash on the streets? We mustn't have to put up with creatures, things, if you will.'' From that day on, the orphan William thought of himself as a thing, because in you lived in 19th century London, you believed what the rich man said. Because of that night, he had stopped trying, and after 17 years of living on luck, Dru found him. And still, he had never been happy.
4 Spike
And then, I thought, Buffy had found me. I began to love her, which was odd, because I had never really loved anything. When we first started to sleep together, I thought she might actually care for me, but she was just in it for the sex. Now, I remember how many times she called me a thing. Why did I think she could love me when that's what she thought of me? A thing, a creature, a soulless being, that's all I ever was to her! And now I've got a soul... and she doesn't even see it.
Spike moved back into his crypt that night, and had to undergo the grueling task of kicking Clem out. He just laid their, thinking about things. A few hours later his door creaked open. He didn't bother to look up. It turned out to be Willow.
''Look Spike, I know what you've done, and I'm actually willing to forgive you. Even though Buffy's my best friend, I'm willing to give you a second chance. I hate to admit it, but I think Buffy kind of deserved it. You're nice, you really are, and she was taking advantage of you.''
He looked up at this, startled. Then she sat on the bed, looking at him seriously. ''What happened when you were in Africa?''
''Willow,'' he said bluntly. ''I got a soul.''
Willow gasped. She reached out and touched his arm gently. ''Oh, Spike,'' was all she could make out.
He continued more bluntly then ever. ''I don't know what to do. Buffy still has it in her bloody mind that I'm just a monster. But, I just can't believe I did that to her. Arghh!'' He ripped at his hair in frustration.
She wasn't sure what to do. She had never seen him like this before. ''Uh, Spike? Do you want to be left alone?''
''Please.''
When she left, he feel to the floor, crying.
Also that night, Dawn sat on her bed writing in her diary. She had decided to buy one on an impulsive shopping spree with Janice, even though she personally thought diaries were stupid. Although tonight, she was glad to have it.
She wrote, ''God, does anyone even know I'm alive anymore? I swear, the only time anybody ever cared about me was when the realized that I was the Key! It's a Saturday night, and I'm sitting here all alone. Everybody else has dates or parties, you know normal stuff. Of course, I have a Slayer for a sister, and she thinks I can't protect myself. Geez! It's not like I'm going to go walking around the cemeteries, looking for vamps…''
Dawn jumped up from her bed, grabbed her jacket, and headed for Spike's crypt. Even though Buffy had said not to go near him, she knew that he would never hurt her. He loved her. But he loved Buffy, too, she thought. She shook that thought from her mind. Spike was her best friend.
As she walked into his crypt, desperately seeking advice, or maybe a spell, she heard a small noise. At first, she thought it was a mouse. Then, she walked into the basement and saw her vampire crouched on the floor.
He heard her come in. He turned around, his eyes still red.
''I guess you caught me.'' It sounded like a statement and a confession all at once.
''Were you…crying?''
''I suppose so.''
''Why?''
''It's too complicated for a girl your age to understand.''
Suddenly, without even asking, she understood everything. Her face showed it.
''Did you also get the part where I got a soul?''
She didn't say anything, but sat down next to him and buried her face into his chest. He held her close.
''I know,'' she said softly. ''You're like me. You just want to be loved.''
''You're right. I would give anything if Buffy loved me, like the way she loved Angel, or hell, even Captain America.''
''If it helps, I love you.''
''It does,'' he said, his tears falling gently on her hair. A lump formed in his throat.
''Nobody loves me. They all treat me like I'm just in the way, like a roadblock or something.'' She said this cold but sarcastically.
''You're the baby. They got to love you.''
''No they don't!'' She yelled. Then, she started sobbing uncontrollably.
''No…they…don't.'' She whispered again, her words finally sinking in.
''I love you.'' He whispered this to calm her down. Incredibly, it worked.
''You're the only one…the only one.'' She sobbed.
Same here, he thought. He was still crying.
Buffy came home late again, with dinner, or a midnight snack, from the Doublemeat Palace.
''Dawn! I've got dinner!''
Then she remembered something. The door had been unlocked when she came in.
''Oh God.''
After a few hours of just lying there with Dawn in his arms, he finally convinced himself of doing it. He gently moved her away from him so he could get up. He went over to his weapons chest and pulled out a steak. Then, Spike began to think of what Dawn would do if she woke up and found a pile of ashes and a steak on the floor. She would kill herself, he thought. Before he could put the steak back, she opened her eyes.
''Spike! Oh, Spike! Please don't kill yourself, not after all this…''
''I thought about it, Nibblet. But I won't, because of you.''
Her face grew thoughtful.
''If you do it, I will.''
''NO! I refuse to stand here and watch you kill yourself.''
''Then we'll do it at the same time. It's not like anyone will miss us.''
''Dawn…'' he said pleadingly.
She looked at him with sad, teary eyes. ''I can't do this anymore.'' Her voice was cracking. ''I have to. I can't stand to live, to be around all these people who have caring families and tons of friends and are fucking LOVED!''
He gazed down at her. ''Okay.''
Buffy raced through the graveyard. Amazingly, no vamps or demons had sunk up on here. She prayed she got there in time.
Dawn took the knife from the weapons chest. She sliced her wrist hard and deep enough to kill herself. They had made a deal. When Dawn was seconds away from death, Spike would stake himself. That way, they would die at the same time. She looked up at him. God, she was so bloody pale, but I love her, he thought. Before he staked himself, they grabbed hands. Then he plunged the steak into his heart, and their hands broke free. They died at the same moment.
One moment after, Buffy burst through the stone door. She ran into the basement, but all she saw was a knife, a steak, and Spike and Dawn's remains. She stood in shock, then feel to the floor, crying and puking because of the blood and the sheer sickness of the whole thing.
Six days later, all the scoobies, minus two, were standing in the graveyard, wearing all black. They all couldn't believe it as they stared at Dawn's small body. Suddenly, Buffy knew she what she had done. Dawn felt that she wasn't loved, and the way she had treated Spike was terrible. She started to cry, and Willow held her. Only she knew why this had happened, but she would never, ever tell.
They had buried Dawn in a beautiful black dress. It the crook of her arm they placed a small jar with Spike's ashes and his duster, folded up small enough to fit. They thought it was only right. They had always wanted to be together, and now always would be.
5 THE END
.
5.1.1