A/N: I'm borrowing their "children" from my past stories they are not however connected in any way.

DISCLAIMER: i do not own NCIS or their characters. however i own their fictitious children that i made up.

She could hear the slowly falling rain out her window accompanied by the soft breeze that came with it; the branches from the old bare tree that scraped across her window. She turned her head to look at the neighboring alarm clock which only read 1:09 in big red blocks. She decided that it would be impossible for her to fall back asleep now and to wait until one of her children would wake her from the storm that was brewing on the other side of the wall. It was getting harder for her to be the stealthy ninja that her husband knew her to be, and she didn't even know if she wanted to be that person anymore, she was changed and forever broken. She looked to the left where the sleeping form of her husband should lay, but instead he lay in autopsy waiting for the burial that was going to be held in a few days' time. She was severely sleep deprived but couldn't will herself to close her eyes long enough for sleep to overcome her. Every time she tried to close her eyes she would see his face, the face of her lover, her partner, Tony DiNozzo. She couldn't will herself to visit her husband as he lay in cubicle 107 in autopsy, though she was glad he was cared for by Ducky and even Jimmy Palmer.

She heard a large crack that must have been from the old tree that sits right outside her window, but the sound didn't affect her. She laid there, her mind unwilling to focus on a book or anything, though her eyes kept on peering towards the bottle of anti-depressants that were prescribed to her only a handful of days ago. She is afraid that if she takes one of the pills she may not be able to stop herself and she couldn't do that to their children. Though having one parent taken away from them in such a cruel way is enough, having another parent be taken away at the hands of that same parent would be destroying for them. Though it has been days she has not wept though her chest feels empty and her head feels full that has been keeping her from doing the most basic of things. She sees the hallway light flicker and finally goes out indicating their newfound loss of power. She carefully checked the clock again only seeing that it read now only 1:12. She wanted to rewind the past couple days and insist that Tony doesn't go without backup, though there wasn't really a threat and none of the team knowing that they were potentially in danger. She was brought out of her reverie by 1 of 5 people that can help her get through a time like this, and indicate to her that life is worth living if not for herself, but for them. She could hear his little footy pajamas scrape across the floor and was now looking in the identical eyes of ones she just lost.

"Hi tateleh" she said as she gathered her son in her arms.

"Dada" he said with tears in his eyes. She knew that he didn't really understand what was going on because he was only three but she knew that he sensed something was going on as his whole family was so sullen, and that he hasn't seen his father in four days, the longest their family hasn't heard from him.

She just held him tighter and rocked back and forth until sleep overcame them.

She was awoken by a sudden creak in her door, though she thought she was asleep for hours she was just awoken only a few minutes later.

"Ima?" 9 year old Avi said softly.

"Yes sweetie"

"Can I lay with you? I can't sleep"

"Of course you can"

She quickly hopped on the bed carefully not to disturb her dad's side of the bed.

There was a sudden crack of thunder which shook the house startling her daughter and quickly waking up the sleeping toddler.

"Don't cry Ben" Avi said scooting closer to give her younger brother a kiss on the forehead.

"Mommy, when do I get to see daddy again?"

"We will say goodbye to him in a few days and we will see him again then"

"Is Ducky taking care of him?"

"Yes, he is" she said with a crack of a smile. Their children knew vaguely what Ducky did for NCIS, but they did know he was taking care of their father.

"Do you know if your brothers were woken from the storm?"

"Probably not, they're boys, they're tough, and they're not scared".

There was a slight boom and large flash of lightning that lite the entire room to go along with the rain that had just picked up and was raining steadily heavier just outside the wall that they lay against. With a slight squeak and a few tears shed, Avi quickly scrambled under the covers and under the protective arm of her mother.

She sat up and lay with her children protectively under her arms and sang to them to try to soothe their tears that were a product from the storm and from life.

"Mom?" she heard from the hallway.

"Yes?" she asked, knowing who the next habitant of her bed was going to be.

"Hey" her oldest peeked his head in her doorway holding her youngest.

"Come in" she replied patting the bed in front of her and motioning for her baby.

"Hi Tony" Avi said, and immediately regretted her choice of nicknames when she felt her mother tense and seeing her eyes re-fill with tears though she would never let them fall.

"Sorry Ima" she said sincerely apologetic.

"It is fine Avi" Ziva said as she placed a soft kiss to her forehead.

"Did the storm wake you?" Avi said.

"No" replied Anthony as he placed his nine month old brother in his mom's arms "I couldn't sleep, so I was sitting with Ayden until I heard you guys from his room"

Ziva was incredibly proud of her oldest son, but wept for her youngest. He was only 14 but has since stepped up in the past couple days to take good care of his siblings while his mother was out of commission for a while. As she looked into the chocolate brown eyes of her baby, her heart dropped knowing that he would never remember his father or know him for the man he was, only to hear stories from his siblings and his aunts and uncles.

"Where is Jackson?" he said as she took her eyes away from the baby who was now fast asleep against her chest.

"Right here" 11 year old Jackson said as he made his way to his mother's side of the bed.

Out of her five children she could tell that Tony's absence was taking its toll most prominently on Jackson.

"I can't sleep, when I looked to Anthony's side of the room he was gone" he said through tears "can I sleep with you?"

"Of course" she said patting the spot next to her as Avi went to go sit in her big brothers lap.

"You need a bigger bed" Jackson proclaimed as they all tried to squish on half of a queen sized bed, which produced a chuckle from everyone on the bed aside from the sleeping babies.

"Can we watch dad's favorite movie?"

"Tomorrow we can okay" she replied.

As the rain outside the window proceeded to get heavier and heavier, and as she heard more of the branches of the old tree crack and snap and eventually break and fall, and though she was forever missing her best friend, she was constantly reminded of the people, that now lay fast asleep around her, that no matter what they can weather this storm together.

Best wishes. DFTBA

I promise I have happier stories planned.

Xox- H