Hi. I'm Mike. I'm dead.

Yeah, I know. Interesting way to start a conversation, but hell, it's been one of those days. You know, the type you seem to have every day? What am I talking about? You're cute enough, sit down and I'll tell you. Yeah, grab your soup as well, no need to stop eating cause I'm talking.

Well. As I say, I'm dead. Undead, technically. Take my wrist... feel a pulse? No? Thought not. Car accident, if you need to know. I was running late for work, thought the way was clear when I ran a red light. Turns out I was wrong.

Sheesh! I'm getting to it! Hang on a minute, will you!

Anyway, at the intersection before the one that got me, this bum came up and started washing my windscreen. I told him to bugger off, but he leant into the car, put his and on my arm and asked me if I was M. S. Gier. I nod, he winks, and I go off to run a red. Turns out he was the Reaper to take my soul.

What Yeah, we tend to collect before the accident or killing in the case of really messy deaths. They lose a bit of memory of right before their death, but it's less traumatic. It's just a little kindness. But anyway, as I was saying, I was his last soul on his quota, so I got to take over as Reaper and he got to go to whatever place of rest he'd earned.

I got taken under the wing of another Reaper and learned the trade. Learnt about the quota, about the Gravelings, all of the tricks of the trade. Everything was fine, till last night.

Last night was meant to be an easy one. We all have our domains. Me, I look after "Death by external source (accident)" Nice and narrow. Basically, I have to reap those that get killed by a random act of chance. That's where the Gravelings come into the picture. They're these little creatures that set up accidents. Nasty looking sorts, but you get used to them. Someone dies cause they slipped on a banana peel; chances are one of them left it there. When a gun goes of that the owner was sure they'd left unloaded? It was one of the Gravelings that loaded it. They're not malicious, just good at their job, I guess.

Last nights was going to be one of those, I thought. Got to the scene early, gave myself ten minutes before ETD, cargo yard on the docks. Got settled in nicely against a cargo container and waited. Saw a Graveling out of the corner of my eye setting something up, so I figured it was pretty much in the bag. Huh? No, they're not invisible. You just can't see them directly. Hell, you can't see them at all. Only the dead and undead. Sigh. Okay. I'm Undead. You can see me, talk to me. Dead people are usually dead; you can't see or talk to them if you're still alive. Can I continue? Thanks

So, I'm sitting there, waiting, when I hear gunfire, coming closer. That's usually not too bad a sign, still well within my domain, but I perk up a bit, when all of a sudden a bunch of people burst in on the scene.

First guy is firing a pistol randomly behind him, not paying attention. Next three are chasing him, also firing guns. They're all wearing gang colours so I figure it's a pretty simple situation. Stray shot hits a pedestrian, it's all over. Course, I was pretty confused, no one was going to die here of an accident, were they? So, keeping my head down, I start to follow them. ETD is getting closer, and so far nothing seems out of place, till I trip over something. Now, I may be dead, but that doesn't mean I like it when I face plant, so I was swearing pretty damned vigorously when I got up again. Stood up, brushing myself off, look down at what I'd tripped on and swore again.

The bastards had hit the Graveling.

Now, you cant do that. It just doesn't happen. You can't even see the bloody things. Then it got worse. The thing was underneath a street sign, one of those "No Entry" things when it got hit. A sign it was trying to remove.

The accident didn't happen. Someone ad, through sheer chance, cheated fate and, well, fate gets truly pissed when you do that. You see, if you miss your time of death your soul still dies, even if you don't. Your soul dies and rots inside your body. Goes bad. No one wins, let me tell you.

So I panic and start looking around. The sign was next to a street leading into the docks. Lucky for me, it was a pretty damned quiet one. Just one car. One car that saw the sign and didn't accidentally drive into a gang shoot out. I grin to myself, record the license plate and go talk to an old contact of mine to find out whom that car belongs to. Pat on the back, job done. All is well in the world.

Huh? My story isn't finished? I didn't get the guy?

Well, that's not entirely true. Fate's got a way of catching up. You might not be hit by a stray bullet in a gunfight, but there's nothing stopping you choking on a button that fell off your blouse into your soup.

Is there, Ms. S. L. Green?

Time for us to go.