The Cluedoville Files Case #1: Stealing First

The day started out normal enough, for a day in Cluedoville, North Dakota. When I got to my office, Miss Josephine Scarlet was already there, making the best coffee in town, as usual. I remember the day I hired Joey as if it were yesterday. As a matter of fact, it was yesterday. But, I digress. Around 10:00 a.m. I was surprised by a visit from my old physics teacher, Professor Peter Plum.

"Pete! Good morning! What brings you here?"

"I need a detective, and you're the only one around."

"What happened?" I asked.

"I can't find my most valuable possession."

"What?" Joey sneered, "Your first textbook?"

"The grown-ups are talking, dear," I retorted.

Pete continued, "My Babe Ruth rookie baseball card. It's the one thing I'll never forget." Considering his memory, that's saying something.

"What's so important about it?" I said.

"I've had that card since I was just a lad. I fear someone may have stolen it!"

"I'll get right on it. You know my fee." I knew that was a mistake as soon as I said it. "20 a day, plus expenses."

I figured the first thing I should do was to interrogate possible suspects. I started with Monsieur Alexander Brunette. He was a friend of mine in college. He had physics class with me. But he became a con man and I became a private eye. I haven't spoken to him since. You might be asking why I suspected him. Well, you got to start somewhere. When I got to his place, I found him doing bench presses. To my surprise, Alex was happy to see me.

"Richard! What a surprise! I thought you were never going to speak to me again!" He said this with a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

"Stow it, Brunette; this is strictly business."

Alex put the barbell away and sat up. "What can I do you for?"

My face shifted to a very serious expression. "Plum's baseball card. Where is it?"

"I don't know nothing about no baseball cards. I gave up petty larceny years ago. You know that." He was right.

"Okay, sorry I bothered you."

"Forget about it. It was nice to see you again, Richard."

As I left Alex's pad, I felt sort of silly. I decided to talk with District Attorney Blanche White next; not that she was a suspect or anything. She really doesn't like it when I just drop in. Blanche recoiled in surprise as I entered the room.

"Mr. Brown, why are you in my office?" she demanded.

"Please, Mrs. White, call me Dick."

"Okay, DICK, why are you in my office?" The DA seemed to be much calmer as she said that.

I took a seat in front of her desk. "I'm on a case. Plum thinks his Babe Ruth rookie card was stolen."

"Oh, that."

Blanche's response was rather unorthodox, and took me by surprise. "What? What 'Oh, that?'"

"He was supposed to donate it to a charity auction today. He probably forgot."

"Yeah, great. Anyway, I was wondering if you might have some light to shed on this case."

"Personally, I don't know anything else about the card. You might want to ask some Yankees fans."

"Thanks, Mrs. White." I grabbed my coat and headed for the door.

"You're welcome Mister… uh… I mean Dick."

I was down on my luck. I usually don't discuss sports in mixed company. Everyone I ever talked about baseball with has been an Athletics fan, like myself. I decided to go back to my office. I figured Joey might know some Yankees fans; she knows everyone in town.

"Joey?"

"What is it, Dick? Want some more coffee?"

"Now that you mention it…And by the way, you know any people who are Yankees fans?"

"Why yes. My mother buys season tickets every year. She takes Rachel with her."

I should really give that girl a raise. Mrs. Patricia Peacock (Joey's Mom) was the wealthiest person in town. Only she could afford the tickets and air travel needed for both herself and her friend to attend every Yankees home game. As for Miss Rachel Peach, well, being a beggar is her job and she does it well. Pat was on vacation at the time, but Rachel wasn't. I went over to her house. (By "house", I mean "makeshift floor, ceiling, and walls that she lives in".)

"Brown, what brings you here?" she said, looking humiliated at the condition of her house in the presence of company.

"Looking for a lost baseball card. You seen it?"

"No. It's probably still in Plum's house. After all, baseball cards don't just get up an walk away?"

I was on to something, and I knew it!

"Whoever said it was Plum's?"

Rachel, with unnerving confidence, said, "My father called and told me everything. Said he heard it from you."

"Right." I said sheepishly. I promptly excused myself.

I decided to go back to my office. Surely Joey knew someone other than Pat or Rachel who might have done it. That's when a new thought arose: "Maybe my secretary is the perpetrator." It wasn't out of the question. She hardly had anything to say while Peter was here. Maybe she wanted a souvenir for her mother. I told myself if Joey stole Plum's card, she would regret it. I wouldn't fire her (I can't afford to), but when I was finished with her, she'd quit without a doubt. I kept thinking of ways to torture Joey while I was walking. Man, was I hot when I finally got there.

"There's a message for you, Dick."

So much for being hot. "Thank you, Joey." I just couldn't bring myself to destroy that sweet girl.

The message was from Rachel. "I just realized, you only suspected me because I join Mrs. Peacock for the Yankees every year. I'm appalled that you would discriminate against me like that. I just called to say, you are no longer welcome in my house."

At that point, everything came together. "Miss Scarlet, hold my calls!"

"You just got in! Where are you going?"

"To pick up a thief, baby!"

I was packing my piece, but I didn't think I'd need it. I knocked on Rachel's door and it promptly fell in. I know she said I wasn't welcome anymore, but this time I had a warrant for her arrest. "See you in 6 months! Don't forget to write!" I said as Miss Peach was being taken away.

Back at the office, Joey asked how I knew it was Rachel. "Withholding information," I said. "She claimed she got all her info about the card from what I told her father. However, I never told M. Brunette that Plum's card was Babe Ruth rookie. I never even mentioned a team."

Plum got his card back. I found it mounted on Rachel's "wall". I had to remind him about the charity auction that day. The auction was a big success. The card ended up going to…surprise…Peter Plum. He obviously forgot that card was his already. And he said that was the one thing he would never forget!