You never realise something until it's too late.
It's not bad or anything, well in my view it is, but everyone thinks it's a great thing. What could be better than being best friend's with Harry Potter, the boy-who-lived?
Everything.
That's what; everything.
I must have been so stupid and blinded by the legend of him. I never saw it.
I never saw how I was his shadow, I was just the sidekick. Nothing important and utterly disposable.
I remember Hermione told me about a muggle team, Batman and Robin – I think that was their names. And everyone always wanted to be Batman; they loved him and adored what he did. But no one ever looked at Robin. He was just comic relief, the idiot, he stood in total awe of Batman; Batman would have save him.
That's me. I'm Robin.
And I hate it.
No one can understand how hard it is to always be overshadowed.
I was there in first year and second year and third year and fourth year and fifth year, but I wasn't!
No one said well done to me; no, just to Harry because he is the greatest person in the world and he is a God. Pray to him. He'll be our saviour.
Bloody hell, even my own mother doesn't notice what I've done! She fusses over Harry and the rest of my family.
Even when I was little I didn't exist. Dad was always at work. Mum looked after Charlie because he was always climbing trees and then he went to work in Romania, Charlie was Quidditch Captain and a Prefect and amazing with animals and a perfect son; Mum looked after Bill because he was always trying to be brave and usually got hurt for it, Bill was a Prefect and Head Boy and smart and a perfect son; Mum look after Percy because he was one of the smartest pupils in his year and Mum always congratulated him and treated him when he did well, Percy was a Prefect and Head Boy and the smartest boy and a perfect son (I can see that he was a little like me, he was second from bottom in the sibling hierarchy, I think that's why he left); Mum looked after the Twins because they were The Twins, they were always getting in trouble and she needed to look out for them and then smile when they mocked me and made me cry, The Twins were the Jokers, loved by all; and Mum looked after Ginny because she is a Girl, the only girl to be born a Weasley for hundreds of years, she has to be looked after, Ginny is going to be the future wife of Harry Potter.
Can anyone see me?
I could run through Hogwarts wearing nothing but socks and no one would notice me, they wouldn't even blink.
I'm pointless.
I'm the sidekick.
I'm fed up.
I'm fed up with everything.
Hermione is in love with Harry, it's obvious (even I can spot it!), and I'm in love with her but Harry likes her too and now he's going to get with her. And I'll just have to stand there and smile, I'll bet he'll make me best man at his wedding and I won't be able to say no.
I can see how she likes him; the guy always gets the girl; the hero always gets what he wants and I'm nothing but the foolish sidekick.
I sometimes wish I'd never met either of them. Because then I won't feel like an idiot, I wouldn't feel pathetic, I wouldn't have this constant pain in my heart – and Hermione said I had the emotional range of a teaspoon. And she calls me stupid?
But I can't go back now – we destroyed all of the time turners. I'm stuck in the middle.
I'm stuck as the third wheel of the golden trio. It should be the golden twosome and that twat – yeah, it's got a ring to it. Hermione's got the brains and Harry's the hero and I'm nothing; I'm not brainy or the hero.
We stormed the Ministry today and guess what, I fucked up!
I know, un-bloody-believable!
I got myself attacked by a brain – do I just have "loser" tattooed on my forehead? No, well I should – and then I hinder the whole thing and I had to be dragged around. Aren't I so helpful?
And then everyone did that thing were they try to say it wasn't your fault – well, thanks for making me feel great!
Even Luna Looney Lovegood was more help than me. Even Aunt Cassiopeia was more help than me and she's been dead 100 years!
I know, I know, stop complaining already! But you can't understand how much this hurts and how much I can't take it anymore! I never moan – unless I have no food, but that's different. I suffer in silence.
I just wish someone would see me.
I just wish my Mum would notice me.
I just wish Hermione would say well done.
I just wish I wasn't Ronald Weasley.
I just wish I didn't have to wear this mask.
I just wish I wasn't here.
I just wish I could do something good.
But I can't.
I'll have to do something.
I'll have to be noticed.
You just wait.
I'll do something so different that everyone will finally see me.
Everyone will stare at me.
Everyone will know my name.
Everyone will know who I am.
Everyone will know what I have done.
Just wait.
I won't be in My Siblings' Shadow any longer.
I won't be Harry Potter's Shadow any longer.
I'll be Ronald Bilius Weasley.
Just wait...
