The school smelled exactly the same as Ben last recalled from his last visit, eight years ago this month.
He'd hated every minute of high school, had never understood when adults said those years were the "best years of their lives". On what planet?
He was a grown-up now. The smell of floor wax and green beans and a touch of teenager funk shouldn't be enough to make him hunch.
But it was.
He hunched past the trophy cases by the field house where he'd waited for his dad to pick him up from afterschool science club. He'd examined every trophy in detail numerous times, but only as cover when he'd lingered like a creep to watch the cheerleaders stretching on the hallway floor after their practice. Cheerleaders weren't necessarily the prettiest girls in school, but they were uniformly well-groomed and perfectly made-up. Those girls wouldn't give him the time of day, not with his round glasses and shaggy hair and skinny frame. What would they want with a geeky loner like him, anyway?
He hunched past the art room where he'd molded sticky greige clay into twisted, unrecognizable shapes. The teacher had looked over his shoulder and murmured, interesting, which he was pretty sure meant something else. What, he wasn't sure, only that it wasn't the same tone she used when she praised the other students.
The lockers were still the same shade of burgundy, one that bordered on purple. It matched the color in the flag carried by the mounted knight, the school mascot, painted on the center of the gym floor and the cinder blocks behind the basketball hoops. The smell of the gym made him hunch further and he followed the crowd of parents carrying rose bouquets, younger siblings holding signs on posterboard, grandparents with canes and walkers.
His own graduation ceremony had been a small, tense affair, his feuding parents seated with his uncle Luke in between them to keep the peace. Luke rarely traveled, but he'd made the trip back east for his lone nephew's graduation. His dad was already seeing Melissa by then, but she was visiting family the weekend he'd walked.
Even at eighteen he'd known that was a lie.
He found them in the auditorium and folded himself into the seat they'd reserved for him. The seats looked to have been reupholstered, but the stage area looked the same as he recalled, with black curtains framing the space and the backdrop hung with an emblem with the school seal printed on it.
It was hard to spot her amongst the sea of graduates wearing identical burgundy caps and gowns, but he caught her craning to see where they were seated and their eyes met for a split second.
She looked away immediately, but a bolt of excitement shot through his midsection and he had to keep from smiling openly when he saw how she looked down and away to hide her own smile.
"Do you see Rey anywhere?" Han sat up straighter in his chair.
"I can't even see my hands with the lights down in here," Obi retorted. "I should've brought a flashlight!"
Ben swallowed a grin and remained silent.
Rey called him two weeks ago to ask if he'd come. He'd stared at the phone for four rings before answering in disbelief. She'd never called him before, only texted.
"Don't feel like you have to," she backpedaled almost immediately. "It's just, we get six tickets each and I only have five people with my great-uncle Obi and your dad and Melissa and the twins and so I thought maybe, if you're not busy-"
"I'll be there," he interrupted. "Of course I'll come."
He'd only had three people and had sold his extra tickets to another kid who had a huge delegation of out-of-town relatives coming. They were meant to give unneeded tickets back to the school for redistribution but he decided to make his own rules. Besides, it was that kid's fault for not listening in homeroom as that policy was explained to them ad nauseum.
"Oh." She sounded surprised at his acceptance. "Well, awesome. How are you?"
They had made stilted conversation for a minute before she'd made an excuse about homework.
He allowed himself to zone out during the principal's speech, then the valedictorian and the class president's attempts at poignant life advice that bordered on naked sentimentality.
She would be starting at the university in the fall, and her lease began in July. They'd talked about it, and decided it was best for her to live with her friend as they'd planned all along. No sense in hurt feelings to start off college.
Anyway, their apartment would relatively close to his. He'd been able to talk them out of living in a cool part of town with shitty student rentals in favor of his neighborhood where they could get a nicer apartment for two-thirds the cost. Jessika's father had been a particularly staunch supporter of his reasoning.
He laced his fingers in his lap and bowed his head, waiting for the procession of graduates to begin.
The party afterwards at his dad's was fuller than he'd anticipated.
A steady string of older men from Han's classic car club drifted between the garage and making small talk with Rey, congratulating her and politely asking about her plans. Young mothers chased kids the same age as the twins and he surmised them to be classmates. Ben had only had time to embrace her in a brief, chaste hug following the ceremony before they'd made their way to the cars.
He'd practiced mindful breathing when she unzipped the graduation gown to reveal her outfit beneath. It was the most un-Rey-like thing he'd ever seen her in.
She wore a sleeveless red dress that hugged her lithe body and high-heeled sandals that did wonders to even their heights. The way she'd looked at him through the top of her eyes as he pulled back from the hug made him warm. He wanted to offer to drive her, but she'd ridden with her great-uncle and it would be too obvious for him to take Rey home.
Every time he started for her, someone intercepted her before he could reach her. He helped himself to a beer from the cooler on the back patio and settled into an armchair in the corner of the living room, sipping slowly at the domestic swill- his dad's pick, no doubt- as he sized up the crowd. A few of her high school friends, including her future roommate Jessika, stood clustered in the kitchen near the tray with dip and vegetables.
He knew Rey had told Jessika about them, whatever they were. He still hesitated to think of it in terms of a relationship. He'd met Jessika formally when the two of them had come up to apartment hunt, but he'd always been vaguely aware of her existence. She was Rey's friend, and the two had been inseparable since Rey had arrived from New Mexico after her parents had died.
It didn't bother him that she knew. Girls were different. They told their friends things, or so he'd been told.
He noticed them all glancing over at him at the same time and rose awkwardly to join the cluster of men admiring the Falcon's engine in the garage. He hung back, not really caring about the modifications he'd seen his dad explain a hundred times. His beer was nearly empty but he knew he shouldn't risk a second so soon.
He knew his mother knew. She had given him a stern look in her car after their horrid breakfast back in December and said something like, "You're both really young. Be careful." There was no need to elaborate or ask what she meant.
Somehow Leia always, always knew things. It was almost like she had a power to sense how others were feeling, what they were thinking. He supposed it was what made her a good minister.
He loved her, but hated her for it, too.
His uncle Luke seemed to have the same sense of people. He'd discovered this when he was eleven and his parents sent to spend an interminable summer with Luke in Colorado while they sorted out the details of their divorce. Luke lived in the foothills near Boulder, and he recalled many long hikes on rocky, alpine trails lined with pine trees where little was said. When Luke did finally stop and turn back to him, he'd sympathize with Ben's position and offer vague platitudes about letting go of the past and time healing wounds. It seemed like so much hippie nonsense at the time, but as he'd grown older, he empathized more and more with the adults in the situation than with his childhood self.
He doubted his mother would've said anything to his father. They had little reason to speak now that he was an adult.
The party was in full swing when he finally got a chance to speak to her, tucked in the corner near the refrigerator.
"Heya!" Rey's cheeks were flushed from the half-gone plastic cup of pink wine she held. It looked like something Melissa would've selected. It wasn't the first time he'd seen her drink, but he didn't know Rey to have the same fervor for it that other teenagers did. Her freckles stood out on her cheekbones and her eyes glittered with excitement and alcohol. "I'm glad you made it!"
He looked her up and down and said simply, "Congratulations, Rey. You look really pretty."
She flushed even more deeply and leaned in to hug him once more. He hesitated to embrace her in front of all these people, not trusting his body to behave itself.
"I'm not wearing any underwear," she whispered in his ear.
He thought his heart stopped for a moment. Sweet Jesus. What?
He steadied her back to the floor with a firm arm around her waist and looked over the top of her head, trying to look nonchalant. He caught Melissa's eye where she refilled the bowl of tortilla chips and he looked away quickly. Heat was mounting in his groin as he leaned down and replied softly, "Did you forget something upstairs?"
Rey's expression was blank for a moment before she caught his meaning. "You're right, I did. In your room?"
"Mmmmhmmm," he murmured, "I have a gift for you up there."
She placed her wine cup on the edge of the counter and walked slowly away from him, towards the stairs at the front of the house. The dress hugged the curve of her ass and he placed his hand in his pocket to adjust himself. He looked at light fixture over the island counter and counted to ten. Forced himself to think of anything but the way she looked today in that dress.
Immediately she got waylaid by an older couple wanting to wish her well and she glanced sideways at him with an apologetic smile.
He leaned back against the wall. Minutes passed as she made conversation with them, asking after their grandchildren and graciously miming surprise as they pressed a card into her hand and hugged her once more. He had never seen them before and wondered who they even were.
Finally she was free of them and disappeared around the corner out of his sight. He waited another few beats before sliding his half-empty beer bottle next to her cup on the counter and sauntering towards the front door.
He was halfway up the carpeted stairs when Melissa's voice stopped him.
"You having a good time, Ben?" Her tone sounded forced. That was nothing new. He'd never had much to say to his dad's wife. She was enough younger than Han he could've dated her himself, if he were into older women like that.
He froze with one foot halfway to the step before he turned back to her. "Yeah, great party- I just forgot something upstairs when I was home for the holidays."
Melissa's eyebrow quirked. "Oh, I didn't see anything when I vacuumed the extra room?"
The extra room? What the-his bedroom! His impatience at being held back flared and he had to pause to keep from retorting angrily.
"Yeah," he waved his hand dismissively. "I think I put it in the closet."
"Well…" She was distracted then by something back downstairs. "Let me know if you don't find it." She was already turning away as she said this and he sagged back against the wall in relief.
He took the rest of the stairs two at a time before anyone else could see him, and padded to his room at the end of the hallway.
No one would miss him, but it was Rey's day. They couldn't be away long.
He rapped softly on the closed door.
"Come in," her reply was muffled.
He opened the door to find Rey perched on the end of his twin bed, her long legs crossed and her skirt riding up her slender thighs. She bit her lower lip and wore a look that bordered on triumph.
He loved when she let herself be bad.
He loved that she wanted to be bad for him.
"Hey, stranger."
He didn't bother with a greeting as he closed the door behind him and pressed the lock firmly with his thumb. He sank to his knees in front of her and parted her knees. Her sandals looked complicated, a mess of straps and ties and a buckle. Too much trouble to remove. He looked down from her face to her sex.
"Oh," he breathed. The sight that greeted him was familiar, yet different. What gods had smiled on him…?
"Surprise!" Rey whispered, twining her fingers in his hair. "I thought you might like it."
He smiled up at her like a dog begging for treats. "I do like it," he replied, hitching her knees over his shoulders and pushing her skirt out of his way. "But I think you'll love it."
Rey flopped back on the bed with a nervous giggle, pulling one of the pillows down to clutch it to her chest as he teased her naked, dusky lips with his thumb. They'd talked about this when she'd visited him during spring break, but he made it clear he didn't expect it, that it was up to her. He figured that would be the end of it.
But here he was, on his knees under the watchful eyes of so many plastic dinosaur models, ready to worship her newly-bare pussy. It was stuffy in the small room but he didn't dare open the window. Some of the guests had filtered out onto the front porch in the warm, early summer air and he could hear them conversing directly below them.
Her eyes were closed, but her eyelids fluttered when he increased the pressure and his thumb slipped just into the seam of her body. She raised the pillow the lower part of her face to stifle a moan when he bent his face to her and nuzzled her mound delicately with his unshaven face. The skin was baby soft and he placed a gentle kiss on her.
He didn't deserve to put his lips to her silky smooth skin, but he did it anyway. She squeezed his head with her thighs in response and he thought he might die just from smelling her- a mixture of soap and perfume and sweat and the undeniable scent of sex. He slicked his thumb in her slippery slit and brushed it slowly up, up against the knot at the top of her sex. Rey's hips bucked up, following the pressure. Her moan took on a guttural sound beneath the pillow and her head lolled from side to side.
He grinned at this, eager to hear her noises. She had been shy, almost embarrassed the last time he'd done this; whether experience or alcohol was making her bold now, he didn't care. He drew back to look at her and sighed in delight. Her nether lips were darker than her creamy thighs, glistening with her arousal already.
He was already so hard it hurt and he ground his hips against the edge of the bed as he lapped at her. He couldn't bite back the moan that escaped him when he dipped his tongue deeper between her folds and he tasted the tang of her. She shuddered with the ticklish vibration and the pillow muffled a high-pitched squeal.
He did it again and her response sounded almost like she was crying. Rey doubled up with pleasure as his tongue flicked against her clit and she braced her feet against his shoulders, fully open to him.
Ben withdrew his hand from where he squeezed her thigh and gave his fingers a quick lick before plunging them in her. He felt perverted, but he never tired of the sight of some part of him disappearing between her legs. He changed his pressure and rhythm a few times before he hit on one that caused her to dig her heels into his shoulders. It stung, but he didn't care. He wasn't quite sure, but it sounded like she said something like, "Fuck, don't stop!"
As if he had any such thoughts. His glasses steamed from the heat beneath his face and his eyes rolled back as instinct took over. She was close if the sounds she was making were any sign, and he sucked at her now with abandon, working his fingers in time in her cunt. Her body gave her away, fluttering around his hand a moment before she keened into the pillow. He continued to work her but eased up, slowing the rhythm of his hand and tongue. She twisted under him, trying to escape the pressure but he chased her, refused to let up until she went still and the only sound was her muffled breathing under the pillow.
He felt stiff as he struggled up from his crouch, his hard-on straining at the front of his dress trousers. Her eyes were glassy and she looked languid as he undid his belt and unzipped his pants, freeing his aching cock and palming its length as he knelt at her feet. Rey made no move to help him, but neither did she break eye contact as he gazed at her.
"Please?" He couldn't stand the thought of going back downstairs like this, not when she was looking up at him with her mouth slack and her pupils blown.
She nodded slowly and he crawled over her. He couldn't believe that it had been nine months ago already that he'd followed her up here and she'd let him do- he sank into her in one rush- this. Rey wrapped her legs over his and let him fuck her, her eyes closed and biting gently on her lower lip.
It only took a moment of thrusting to catch the friction he craved and he followed her over the edge, biting on his lips to keep from making a sound. Rey wound her arm around his neck, slow and lazy, pulling him down to her.
"I should get back," Rey whispered after a minute, and he nodded against her neck but made no move to let her up. Another minute passed before she murmured, "It means a lot that you came today."
Her double meaning struck him as quite funny, and they both dissolved into laughter as he extricated himself from her hold, grabbed a handful of Kleenex from his bedside table and sat back on his haunches, mopping at the slick between her legs.
"Well?" He gestured with his chin. "Did you like it?"
Her devilish grin told him all he needed to know.