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Kurt couldn't believe it. He had almost blacked out when he heard the diagonses.
He had cancer. Leukemia, he was starting treatment the next day. He just sat there in the office as his father talked with the doctor. He swallowed. He wanted to hug himself. Never before had he felt so small, so alone.
He wished Blaine could be there, to help him out. But Blaine was rehearsing with the Warblers.
"Kurt?" Burt walked up to him. "We're coming back here tomorrow...are you ready to go home?"
Kurt slowly nodded. He stood up and walked out the door with his father.
"Finn's at home, and Carol, both are witing fo ryou-"Burt told him, trying to put on his bravado face. Kurt could see how terrified he was, though.
"How are you feeling?" Burt asked with geniune concern. Kurt swallowed.
"Good," he mumbled. "For a guy with cancer."
Burt closed hsi eyes and turned to face Kurt.
"I want you to know son, that this isn't goign to be like your mother."
Kurt winced as he thought of the pain they all felt when his mother told them she had breast cancer.
"I mean it." Burt's voice cracked. "I'm not going to lose you too, Kurt, I can't."
Tears spilled in Kurt's eyes.
"I'm so scared,dad,"he suddenly whispered. He almsot called him daddy. Burt grabbed him into a tight hug.
"I know son, but we'll get through this, together."
Kurt sniffed and nodded as they headed to the car.
Finn paced around the kitchen.
"They're not going to come any faster if you pace, honey," Carol said. Finn sighed.
"I'm just worried as hell at what they're going to say..the idea of Kurt being sick..." Carol nodded.
"I know sweetie, the very thought terrifies me."
The heard the door close and footsteps.
"We're home," said Burt in an almost grim voice. Finn and Carol turned to find Burt and Kurt walking in the room. Finn noticed how pale Kurt looked.
"What did they say?" Carold asked breathlessly.
Burt closed his eyes and she gasped.
"No-"
Almost frozen in time Finn stared at them in horror. This was like a bad movie.
"I have leukemia," Kurt suddenly said, his voice cracked. Carol started sobbing and grabbed him into a tight hug.
"I'm so sorry, Kurt," she sobbed.
"I start treatement tomorrow," Kurt mumlbed. Finn stood there in shock. He was unable to move,unable to think, and barely able to breathe.
Kurt was sick...really sick he had cancer...
Those little words floated through his head.
"Finn?" Kurt's voice snapped out of it.
"I don't know what to say man," Finn finally managed to mumble. "I can't believe it...that this is happening..."
Kurt smiled sadly at him.
"I know, neither can I."
Carol saw how tired Kurt looked.
"Sweetie, you look exhausted. Maybe you should take a nap."
"That's probably a good idea," Burt admitted. Kurt shook his head.
"I want to call Blaine first. I'll take a nap later, though."
Carol hugged him tightly and so did Burt. Finally Finn was able to snap out of his trance long enough to also give a hug.
"We're going to get through this," said Burt with fake confidence in his voice. "We're going to beat this...together as a family."
Kurt nodded, fighting back tears, as Burt kissed his forehead.
He slowly walked up the stairs as if in a nightmare.
He was still processing the information.
He was sick, he had cancer, going to go get chemo the next day.
Scared didn't even cover it.
He swallowed as he pushed Blaine's number and dialed.
"Hello?"
He almost hung up with he heard Blaine's voice
"Hello?" Blaine repeated.
"It's me, Kurt." Kurt tried to calm his voice.
"Everything okay?" Blaine asked. He couldn't hide the concern. Kurt had been acting odd lately.
Kurt realized then he couldn't tell Blaine over the phone.
"Kurt? Are you still here?"
"Yeah I'm still here."
"Is everything okay?"
More silence. Kurt was unsure of how to proceed,of what to say. He was still shell shocked by everything.
"Kurt, you're scaring me."
"I...have something to tell you."
Fear found it's way inside of Blaine.
"Kurt.."
"Not over the phone, though. Can...you come over?"
"Of course, I'll be there right away."
Kurt swallowed.
"Thanks," he whispered. Blaine hung up and grabbed his coat and raced out the door, fear pounding in his heart.
Kurt walked down the stairs and saw the others in the livingroom. Finn stood up when he saw Kurt.
"Kurt, hey buddy."
Burt and Carol looked up.
"How are you feeling kiddo?" Burt asked kindly.
"Still tired," Kurt admitted. "But um...Blaine's coming over, I wanted to tell you that."
"Should you be having visitors right now?" Carol asked with concern.
"I need to tell him and I need to tell him in person," Kurt explained. "Just like I need to tell Mercedes and Rachel in person after as well. Finn I was hoping you'd break it to everyone else at the Glee Club...I don't have the heart to tell all of them in person. But Blaine, Mercedes, and Rachel needs to know first-after you guys. They've been there for me, when things have gotten rough...they'd be hurt if I didn't tell them just like I'd be hurt if they didn't tell me."
Carol and Burt nodded and so did Finn but after the parents. Like everyone he too was still shocked and processing the information.
"I'm going to wait upstairs," he finally added. More nods. He walked slowly, fighting back tears. He couldn't afford to lose it. He had to be strong now.
He sat on the edge of his bed as he waited for Blaine to arrive. He stared at a picture of his mother.
"You must have been terrified," he whispered and a tear rolled down his cheek. He jumped when he heard the doorbell. He brushed the tear away as he listened to muffled sounds and footsteps coming up the stairs.
"Kurt?" Blaine pushed open the door. "What's going on? Your family's so serious right now. Everyone is being so serious..." He saw the red around Kurt's eyes. "Have you been crying?" He quickly sat down next to Kurt, terror in his eyes.
"I...I have to tell you something," said Kurt. His voice cracked. Blaine nodded.
"All right, what is it? What's wrong?"
Kurt swallowed and swallowed again when Blaine placed his arm around Kurt's shoulders.
"I'm sick," he whispered. Blaine froze. The tone in Kurt's voice suggested it wasn't a regular cold or flue, something much more serious. "I...I have Leukemia."
Finally unable to hold it in any longer Kurt broke down in sobs as Blaine sat there at first in frozen shock, still absorbing what he had heard. He didn't have time to process the information though. He quickly grabbed Kurt into a tight hug and Kurt laid his head on Blaines lap as sobbed as Blaine tried to comfort him, to tell him everything was going to be all right.
He just wished he believed what he was saying.