HopelessDreamer56: Yaaay~ first fanfic uploaded here :D

Hika+Kao: Yeah. And it's kinda depressing O.O

HopelessDreamer56: So? At least it's good :P

Hika+Kao: Whatever. You don't own us right?

HopelessDreamer56: Sadly, no T.T

Hika+Kao: Alright then~ On with the story~

Italicized means like a flashback.

I woke up screaming again. Once again reliving the nightmare of that day. The day I lost everything that mattered to me. My baby brother. The love of my life. My Kaoru.

"So where do you want to go to dinner Kaoru? Do you just want to grab some McDonald's?" I asked holding his somewhat small and gentle hand.

"Sure. I don't feel like waiting forever in a fancy restaurant right now."
The walking signal turned blue and Kaoru and I started to cross the street. Suddenly a huge truck came out of no where and started swerving towards us. We stood there in a moment of pure shock and fear. Kaoru snapped out of it long before I did.

"HIKARU! LOOK OUT!" He yelled, pushing me to the sidewalk. I end up tripping over my shoes as i make it to the sidewalk. But I quickly turn back around to run and grab Kaoru. But he wasn't there. He was about 15 feet away from the crosswalk. Not moving. I run to his side as quickly as I can. "KAORU! Kaoru! Kaoru! Please get up!"

"Hi...ka...ru?...Are you...okay?" Kaoru said, struggling to breath. I could feel the warm blood from his head staining my jacket sleeve. It was sickening. Tears started flowing down my cheeks.

"Don't...make that...face Hikaru...You're not cute...when you cry...so smile 'kay?..." He started getting colder. His eyes started to close. His breath started to shorten.

"Kaoru? Please...PLEASE! Don't leave me! Please! I need you! I can't live without you! DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE KAORU!" But he did. He left me. Kaoru died. In my arms. Protecting me.

Ever since then I've been lashing out at just about everyone. I hated how they thought they knew what I was going through. They didn't know how it felt to lose the person you care about the most. Especially when you know you're the cause of their death.

I sit quietly on the window in the Host Club mostly. I like the view. I didn't know why I went there after that day. I didn't see the point anymore.

For some reason, I didn't break down. I cried a few times. But that was it. I didn't really feel anything anymore. I had no one to share my emotions with.

I also hated how my own parents scolded me when they found out what happened to Kaoru. My father blamed it on me and beat me so hard he would've killed me. He actually would've if it wasn't for my mother and the maids. But sometimes, I think...that it wouldn't have been a bad thing if he killed me. He would've actually saved me. Saved me from this pain. Saved me from this guilt.

The fact that I came to school with bruises and scars and cuts scared pretty much everyone. Especially the Host Club. Most people thought I did it to myself. I hate to admit it, but I did cut myself a few times. I would've actually killed myself if it wasn't for Haruhi. She always reminded me what Kaoru died for. Me. She reminded me that Kaoru wouldn't want me to give up on the life he loved. On the life he died to protect.

I knew she was right. But I would forget what she said in a matter of hours. I couldn't stop breaking mirrors. Even the ones at school. I couldn't bare to see his face. My parents ended up removing all the mirrors left and whatever they thought would remind me of Kaoru. I wouldn't even walk into our...my...room. I barely made it walking into the dang house! Tamaki eventually came over and convinced my parents to let me stay with him until i could fully cope with Kaoru's...death.

Pfft. Omg this is such a phaelle xD No flames please.

Hika: God, I am such a depressing person aren't I?

Kao: At least you didn't get run over big a truck Dx

HoplessDreamer56: Yeeeeaaaaahhhh~ Sorry Kao-chan~ *snuggles*