Birthday
"How could you do this to me?" Barney's voice was quiet, but his tone let Robin know he was entirely serious. His eyes were hard, and Robin hoped she hadn't broken the mutual trust between them completely.
"Barney, I-" Robin began, but was soon cut off.
"No! I can't believe you would even think for a moment that this would be okay!"
At his outburst, Robin felt anger flare up inside her. How dare he speak to her that way?
"It's my birthday, I should be able to choose the cake!" She said.
"I hate chocolate cake! You know I do! Go take it back!" Barney demanded.
"You're not the boss of me, Barney!" Robin said firmly.
"I'm leaving you for Marshall!" Barney screamed.
"Fine, see if I care!"
Barney stormed out the door, slamming it behind him.
It took Robin a moment to register what had occurred. Barney and Robin had just had the biggest fight of their marriage, leading Barney to storm out. He was probably making out with Marshall at that very moment.
The thought of Barney French kissing Marshall caused Robin to let out a disgusted screech, and she threw herself to the floor.
"Why Marshall? That's so gross! My life is the worst!" Robin shrieked.
"Don't dis our love!" Marshall called through the window. Robin threw the cake at him, screaming through tears as she did so.
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. She opened it, finding Ted on the other side.
"What the hell do you want, Ted?" Robin questioned, her voice heavy with sobs.
"I want you!" Ted declared.
"Eww no go away, Ted." Robin said, her voice full of disgust.
"No! Your forty years of age now, and obviously you're not married anymore. Face it honey, you just got dumped. We had a deal, so will you marry me?" Ted asked.
"Aren't you married, though?" Robin inquired.
"No one has to know. We'll run away together, and be married in secret." Ted said.
Suddenly, there was a scream from down the hallway.
"Ted, you bitch!" It was Carl the bartender, Ted's husband.
"Carl, honey, what brings you here?" Ted asked, his voice shaky.
Carl slapped Ted across the face.
"You were going to run away with her? You said you were my teddybear, you liar! My mom was right about you!" Carl cried.
"I am your teddybear, I just-" Ted was cut off by another slap from his enraged husband.
"Robin isn't even hot!" Carl screamed.
"Um, I'm smokin' hot, you're a piece of trash." Robin said.
"You look like something that just crawled out of the sewers!" Carl retaliated.
Robin lunged at Carl, and punched him in the nose. Ted took the opportunity to escape during the chaos. He then boarded a plane to Mexico, and changed his name to Jorge Robitero.
Suddenly, Barney came and punched Carl in the nose, exactly where Robin had. Carl screamed, then passed out.
"I'm so sorry, my love. I'll eat the chocolate cake." Barney told Robin.
"I thought you left me for Marshall." Robin said.
"He's an awful kisser, so I came back to you." Barney said.
"I love you!" Robin screamed.
"Really?"
"No!" Robin said, and pushed Barney out a window. "That's what happens when you leave me for Marshall!" Robin screamed.
Barney then died.
A/N: I haven't posted a fic in a while, so I wrote this for you guys. I hope you like it! Review!
-Lulu