Letters Sent And Received

by JuniperGentle

What if Sanada had been unable to visit Yukimura whilst he was in hospital? A series of letters sent between captain and vice-captain as the latter tries to get his team through training for the Kantou Finals, and the former battles against illness, pain and rather high levels of morphine. Mostly crack, some Niou.

Posted because someone kindly reminded me that it's March 5th, and therefore Yukimura's birthday.

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Letters Sent And Received

or

How Do You Solve A Problem Like Masaharu?

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Dear Sanada

Niou came by today. I thought he was you. He laughed all the way down the corridor when it took me ten minutes to stop calling him Sanada.

Yukimura.

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Dear Yukimura,

He is running laps as I write. I gave him one lap for every stroke of kanji you wrote, multiplied by how many minutes he embarrassed you for. He may be running for a while yet.

Sanada

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Dear Sanada,

It's been nearly a week since I got your letter. I'm sorry. Considering how bored I get stuck in my room all day, you'd have thought that I'd have responded by now. Sorry. But even though I'm stronger than I was, the doctors aren't letting me out of bed since last week when I managed to get stuck on the roof for three hours because I couldn't walk back. They're saying they'll have to change my medication again, because I've stopped responding. And there was me thinking that I'd just got over the side-effects.

Sorry, I'm complaining again. How are the team doing? I badgered the nurses until they let me have the newspaper, so I know you won the prefecturals. Good work.

Everything's so quiet here. I almost miss Kirihara and Niou yelling at each other.

Almost.

Yukimura

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Dea Yukimura

I Do nOt yel at Niouu. He is a pesssst. And hE stoll my pensill. Again.

Kirehara.

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Dear Sanada,

Kirihara writes like a five-year-old. I actually got a five-year-old just down the corridor to translate his letter for me, there were so many mistakes. Please give him lines for the next few weeks instead of laps.

Yukimura

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Dear Yukimura,

First, the team is doing just fine, except for Marui and Kirihara, both of whom are still running laps. I may confiscate Kirihara's racket if he carries on like this. Renji says that if we stay late for practice four nights this week, we can stop early on Friday so I can come over to see you in person.

As for Kirihara, I gave him laps and lines. Actually, that has given me an idea, as you said that you were getting bored. Renji has copied out all of his most recent data and I have included it here. Could you write out a training schedule for us? I have been doing it, but it doesn't quite feel right unless it is yours. I cannot figure out why.

Sanada

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Dear Sanada,

I'd be delighted! Give me a couple of days and I'll send it over. Or you could pick it up on Friday?

Yukimura

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Dear Sanada,

I'm so sorry for sleeping all the way through your visit. The doctor thinks it's a combination of morphine and the side-effects of my new medication. Here's the training schedule I came up with. I may have written this under the influence of morphine, so I'm sorry for any bother it causes you if it makes no sense whatsoever.

Rikkaidai's Training Plan

Yukimura Seiichi

Abilities: Currently none, except sleeping, dammit.

Target: Win the Nationals. Again.

Procedure: Beat this bl**dy illness. In order to do this, treat it like a tennis game, though it feels like I've tried to inflict my own tennis on myself in order to get this illness – is that how I did it? That would make sense. It's like having permanent yips. Stop beating yourself up, Seiichi! It's not helping! Stop playing tennis against yourself! Why did that nurse take away my tennis racket the other day? I wasn't doing anything with it, I was just fixing the grip tape, but she confiscated it.

So by stopping playing tennis I can beat this illness... which I'm beating because I want to play tennis?

Am I rambling, Sanada?

Never mind.

Sanada Genichirou

Abilities: Can make a team of fourteen-year-olds run further than full-grown men in the army or the Olympic squads by the sheer power of his yell and his slap.

Target: Smile more.

Procedure: *this space intentionally left blank because frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn*

Yanagi Renji

Abilities: Pretty much anything he feels like

Target: Work out just how much morphine Yukimura has in his system to write such a load of...

Procedure: Um, come visit? I feel like talking to something other than the plant in the corner. (It doesn't talk back, don't worry, Sanada. Well, normally. But that's usually the nurses really, I just think it's the plant for a bit and get really confused.

I'm rambling again.)

Kirihara Akaya

Abilities: Bloodshot, Devil (?), Nuisance

Target: Improve handwriting, accuracy and stamina. Not necessarily in that order.

Procedure: Run around the courts in the shapes of the kanji. Write out the full albhabet in placed strikes. Take away his tenis raccet until he learns how to hollld a pen properle – that's probably the main proolbem actuallyly. Sanada, I think the mooophine's gettingg to me...

Marui Bunta

Abilities: erhbig, ftomlubf smd bdkjt merer

Target: ghsofghen for sooif verasi

Procedure: ghsw. Ggeifiisl and reeoigl, sevfenn times for Oliver

Jackal Kuwahara

Abilities:

Target:

Procedure:

Note to S – sorry, I didn't have time to finish this one. The morphine knocked me out after I'd finished Marui's and my head was so fuzzy this morning that I couldn't write anything sensible (I did write something, but it went along the lines of yet another ramble about why this hospital shouldn't serve toast for breakfast, which isn't Jackal's fault at all.)

Niou Masaharu

Abilities: Tricking me into thinking Sanada's come to visit.

Target: Well, obviously his target changes with each match, but I hadn't expected me to be his target.

Procedure: Stop being so gullible. Oh hang on... did Niou just trick me into writing out a second training schedule for myself instead of his own one? Dammit. He wasn't even here.

Yagyuu Hiroshi

Abilities: Controlling Niou

Target: Control him better

Procedure: Keep Niou within sight at all times. Tie him down if necessary. Confiscate all his wigs. No, wait, give them all to Kirihara. He'll like that.

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Dear Yukimura,

Thank you for the training schedule. I have a couple of questions about it, if you don't mind. First, are you serious about letting Kirihara have Niou's bag of tricks? And second... if it is not too personal a question, at what time did they top up the morphine? Your handwriting was so bad in Marui's schedule that I could not read it.

Hoping you will feel better soon,

Sanada

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Dear Sanada,

They stopped the morphine this morning and I had another look at what I'd written to you. I am so sorry. Please ignore it. I'll write a better one this afternoon

Yukimura.

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Dear ukemura

Actually, I found it pretty useful. Admittedly, yours looked like the easiest one to actually manage, but that is because you are you and I am me and Niou doesn't believe in karma.

Sanada

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Dear Sanada,

For the sake of my sanity, check your spelling. I've included your letter so you can see what I'm talking about...

Yukimura

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Dear Yukimura,

How do you convey a deep and lasting sense of shame on paper? Along with a very sincere apology and a good deal of confusion, because I was certain that I had read back over that letter, and I do not remember writing anything about Niou let alone anything else. I will get to the bottom of this, I swear.

Sanada

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Dear Yukimura,

You must know who it was who changed that spelling by now – I was yelling at him loud enough that Tezuka called and told me to shut up. I could have sworn he was in Germany, so I am now somewhat worried that the contents of our correspondence might now be common knowledge to at least half the world.

Sanada

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Dear Sanada,

Your apology is accepted, and I will kill you the next time I see you.

Yukimura.

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Dear Yukimura

What?

Sanada

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Dear Yukimura,

Oh, now I get it. Thank you for sorting out Niou for me.

Sanada

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Dear Sanada,

Two birds, one stone. Come by and visit for real sometime, except that then Niou might be able to trick me again.

Yukimura

P.S. Hold on, how was Niou able to get hold of that letter anyway?

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Dear Yukimura,

I have no idea. Unfortunately, I am still stuck here, and the "other me" refuses to come see you too. He says you are 'way too scary', and he would like to know what you thought you were doing listening to Fuji's ideas on how to treat people.

Sanada

P.S. Niou and Kirihara. Tarundoru. I will have WORDS.

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Dear Sanada,

I heard you that time,

Yukimura

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(Author's note – Marui's entry was actually written in my sleep – I was writing this when very tired and when I suddenly woke up from one of those weird 10-second naps the random letters were the ones I'd typed. Even the bit about Oliver. I have NO CLUE who Oliver is.)