I reject shippuden's reality to varying degrees and substitute my own. So yes, AU after returning from failed Sasuke retrieval #1 post-Shippuden start.

All those who seek seriousness and length, fear me. All those who are actually just bored, seek me out.

Disclaimer: I Don't own Naruto.

Key:

------------ scene break. It could look like something else too. You'll be able to figure it out

"speech"

'quotations within speech/possibly something else later'

stressing words/someone thinking - You'll be able to figure it out

stressing words/some kind of echoing voice - ie. kyuubi. You'll be able to figure it out

stressing words/speaking in unision -You'll be able to figure it out

"people speaking at the same time" "but not the same words" "will simply have no filler between their quotation marks" - You'll be able to figure it out.

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Prologue: What? That's all? Is the next chapter longer?

She wasn't quite sure what kind of sucking up Naruto had done but Sakura had been pretty much ordered by Tsunade to spend some time getting to know her teammate again and to be 'nice within the boundaries of reason'.

As she'd found him at the Memorial Stone dressed in black, she'd begun to think her mentor had different motivation. It was the Sandaime's Deathversary.

He was... subdued. Really subdued and it had her stepping on eggshells.

In the end she'd offered to go walk with him and he'd taken her to Peace Park.

Peace Park: a very little green area in Konoha outskirts dedicated to Yondaime Hokage after the village's long string of wars.

In the centre was an unusual statue of the Yondaime Hokage seated easily and smiling likewise, as if he were hanging out in the woods with some pals... except atop a pedestal.

"The Yonaime's my hero."

"I think he's pretty much everyone's" Sakura smiled

"Yeah. Yeah he is, huh? He inspired me you know. This statue really inspired me."

"You mean the whole 'I'll be Hokage' thing came from one oddly smiling statue?" Sakura joked.

"Yes. When I was a little kid: just a little dumbshit, you know? I was this little kid and, god, I swear I ran away from the orphanage every day. Anyway, I accidentally got here and I saw this thing, and I was amazed. Seriously, I could barely breathe in my awe. For just a little brat like me, hated by pretty much everyone on sight... this great kneeled and smiled so gently like he understood me you know? Like he cared for me... Man, I think I was crying just a little."

"eh..."

"Of course he wasn't smiling at me. It's a statue. It just smiles all the damn time but like I said I was little you know?" he chuckled. "As I grew older I figured it out... and I figured I wasn't wrong either. See, he was smiling at me, kinda. He was smiling at everyone in Konoha. He smiles cus' he cares and he cares cus' we're a team."

"... who's a team now?"

"Everyone! It's like you and me. We're part of a team and we look out for each other." He ticked the following points off on his fingers: "For instance, if you're crying then I will find you. Then I will find out why you're crying. Then I will beat the crap out of whatever makes you cry. And I will look for you again. And if you still cry I will somehow do... something, and you will get better. And things will be good again. That is my mission plan; it is my super S class mission."

"Well, ah..." she fidgeted with her shirt a little, looking down. Some of the things her idiot teammate would say... Yes, embarrassment was like an old friend by now. "I too, for you would... you know."

"And he was like that with everyone. We were all his team. That's why he did what he did."

"...Yeah. You're probably right."

"That's why it didn't matter what I did. If I was good or bad, hated or whatever, he still would have smiled for me because he would have cared anyways. That's just how it is with teams. Like us. Like Sasuke."

"..."

"The only Hokage I fully respected"

"What? Hang on, what about Sensei?!" meaning of course Tsunade.

"Well, it's not like I really disrespect her, yanno? But she's old."

"Naruto!" ticked off! If her sensei had heard that line!

Naruto indignantly justified. "She's just putting in the time. It's just her job or something. She's using the hat of Hokage because she wants to do something... out of respect to her little brother maybe"

Sakura felt a need to defend her mentor. "I don't think so. And even if she was, does it matter all that much?"

"Hokage is a job to her." The boy shook his head. "She doesn't live for it."

"That's harsh. You make it sound like slavery or something."

"That's Hokage."

"..." she couldn't quite object. She was simply too dumbfounded. Naruto just looked so nonplussed at her argument, as if she just wasn't in his league. But then the Third himself was quoted to say 'I am not really here to rule, but to be a humble a servant to the greater good'.

"The old man too, was too old. He lived for that title – for his village. He lived and he shed sweat and tears and blood until he was so damn old, knowing that at the end he could rest... and then his successor died" the boy shook his head again, this time in such emphatic sadness that Sakura could have believed he was speaking of the saddest thing in the world.

"It wasn't his fault. Anyone would start slipping up after that."

"Jii-chan..." a little boy, in a small and too, too empty room sniffled before the door. "Jii-chan you liar."

He'd said he'd be there. He'd said he was going to make things up to the boy. He'd said, he'd said, he'd said!

A birthday... only came once a year.

And it was such a horrible time to be alone...

'WHAM!'

All five locks rattled with a violence.

"J... Jii-chan?"

In response, the door rattled and thundered louder. "Little Demon, COME OUT RIGHT NOW!"

The boy who had long scurried underneath his small bed shivered and sniffled. "Jii-chan, you liar."

"Wasn't really his fault at all."

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"So boss, what kinda techniques have ya got now?!" Konohamaru asked excitedly.

"Kage-Bunshin no Jutsu, Taijuu Kage-Bunshin no Jutsu, general awesomeness..." the blonde listed, seemingly satisfied. "I could go on but the awesomeness part covers most of it."

"He sounds confident" Udon whispered to Moegi.

Naruto caught it. "Comes with being awesome."

"Well you should be!" Konohamaru nodded. "You trained for three years with that awesome guy right? But considering that... I mean, no offence boss, but your technique list hasn't changed much? Don't hold out on us! What else you got?"

"Yeah well" the blond sighed, "it uh... it turns out I have this kind of... sickness... thing. And we kinda found out that doing, ah new things with my chakra... like moving it in different ways, kind of... does some weird things to the seal. Er!" Naruto stopped himself, desperately, far too late. "I mean the, uh, the anti-sickness seal, you know? It's all very complicated medic-nin stuff. Sakura-chan can probably explain it better"

"Uh, really?" it was a credit to Konohamaru's gained maturity that he at least tried to hide his crushing disappointment. It wasn't his fault but his role model was that weak? And this also didn't look good on the Konohamaru corps...

"I'm not done yet: I'm awesome, remember? That awesomeness includes being resourceful. "

"R-Really? As expected of Nii-chan!" Konohamaru cheered.

"Well I had to do something! I couldn't just sit on my ass. I had promises to keep, damnit. Anyways, I've got more Ninjutsu than you, that's for damn sure. I'll show you."

The Blonde's hands moved in a blur.

The Konohamaru corps were stunned of course. They were just so used to seeing that one-seal Kage-Bunshin technique, that they never really thought about how good or bad he'd be with anything else.

But when he slammed his hand onto the ground, they thought they knew what was coming from the explosion of smoke.

"Yo Gamatoshi"

"Yo"

"Guys, this is Gamatoshi" the blond presented, perched now atop his summon. "He's not too big as far as the Gama-clan summons go, but this guy's a squad captain"

The frog attempted to hide the puffing of his chest.

"He loves Kenjutsu." The frog drew his sword and performed several wierd kata as Naruto dismounted. "He will out-range you. He will out-power you. And he will chase you down pretty easily cuz' he's fast too."

"Those katas look weird" Konohamaru observed doubtfully.

"Oh yeah" Naruto made an 'I see' gesture. "That's true. I forgot. He'll surprise you too."

"Hmph!" the frog made an odd, twirling jump with his sword and Konohamaru swore the blade disappear as he felt some kind of movement by his hair.

Stunned, the boy barely registered that Gamatoshi's blade had somehow been sheathed before there was a resounding crash behind him.

The tree line behind him was levelled

"Wow."

"Ero-sennin and I trained up my stamina. It was probably some of the most important training" the boy grinned. "So no worries!"

"One-Man-Army..." Konohamaru observed in awe.

"Yep! These guys love short range, but there are other frogs out there that like ninjutsu more. Some will shoot water bullets, streams or frickin' blades. Some of them can make it rain, and some will just try to flood the place. And if it get's flooded, there are some really tough underwater frogs."

"Ugh" Gamatoshi flinched. "The Underwater S&D Division. Crazy psycho bastards..."

Konohamaru mouthed 'S&D?' to Udon who whispered back 'maybe Search and Destroy?'

"Get it?"

"Y-Yeah. Limitless Shadowclones + Large amounts of explosive tags + Insane giant frog skills = Epic PWNage."

"What?"

"It's the hip new lingo, boss"

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That's the prequel. Oh, ideas for the title are welcome but hold off until you actually read more of the story (I'm guessing that will help).