Author's Note: This is something that will never happen, I'm sure, but it has been cathartic to me to release my frustrations with the current direction of the show. After Rumple's return to Storybrooke, he is confronted by the Storybrooke gang.

The familiar scent of the shop hit Rumple as he stepped inside, closing the back door softly behind him. He closed his eyes for a moment, just breathing it in—a musty aroma mixed with lemon-scented cleaner, leather, paper, and...his throat tightened briefly. Perfume. The sweetly spiced fragrance he had purchased for her before their wedding. Opening his eyes, he half expected to see her walk in from the front room.

She wouldn't come. The shop was empty, at least right now. It was only just past dawn, and he knew the shop would be deserted. That was why he chose this moment to return. He didn't want to face her, not yet. Through the doorway leading from the back office into the shop proper, he could just make out the front door, the closed sign on display. The early morning light spilled through the windows onto the floor just beneath them. Everything else was cast in shadow.

Appropriate.

Turning, he looked around. The place was surprisingly clean. He couldn't tell if it was Belle's doing, or if Henry was still at his job. Rumple smiled tightly, remembering the conversations he had with the boy while they worked. The pain of losing Bae would never go away, he knew, but there was a small comfort in his interactions with his grandson. A look here, the way he moved there, his smile—reminders of how things used to be. Of how he wished things could be once more.

Of everything he lost.

His hand closed tightly around an ink well sitting on the desk near him, and he felt a strong impulse to hurl it at the mirror hanging on the wall opposite where he stood. Picking it up, he tensed, barely fighting the urge. After everything he'd done, everything he'd sacrificed, all that he'd been willing to do regardless of the cost, Bae was dead. Rumple had even given his own life so that Bae could live and find the happy ending that was continually ripped away from his father. Even that meant nothing in the end.

"It's not fair!" he cried, raising his fist. Then he saw his reflection in the mirror, the hideous twist of his face, the Beast that Belle had cast out of Storybrooke. Slowly, the anger gave way to sorrow, and his expression crumbled. The ink well clattered back on top of the desk as he leaned heavily against it, covering his face with his hand. "It wasn't supposed to be like this." His voice wavered as he struggled against breaking down. He had already broken down so many times since being brought back from that dark nothingness. It had been horrible, more horrible than anything he could ever imagine. It wasn't the blissful peace of unconsciousness; he had been fully aware of his nothingness. It gnawed at him like a swarm of flesh-eating insects, burned him like an endless, relentless flame. For the briefest moment, when he realized he was alive again, as he saw the pure snow flutter down around him and felt the chill air pierce his lungs, he was so relieved to be released from the prison. But then the one thing that could possibly be worse was realized before him: he had been brought back to life only to watch his son die. He would have endured eternity in that blackness had his son been able to live a full and happy life.

To top it all off, the one thing he had avoided for so many years finally happened: someone had his dagger, and he became a slave to their will, forced to do things he would never have done. He had been furious when he discovered Belle's captivity under Regina; now his own captivity drove him to the brink of madness. The only lifeline he had left was Belle, and he clung to her with all he had.

Clearly that had been a mistake. She was still young, so young compared to his ancient years. How could he have possibly expected her to hold him up after all he had lost? It was too much of a burden for her. It was too much of a burden for anyone.

He grimaced, feeling the heat rise within himself once more. There was also the influence of the Charmings and her own desire to be a hero. Clearly she had hoped to be the one to reform him. He didn't need a hero. He needed someone who would stand by him and love him and seek to understand him. Not throw him out when he didn't fit with her expectations. With a bitter laugh, he shook his head, straightening his suit jacket and stepping behind the desk to sort through a stack of books on the shelf. He knew there was no one out there who could possibly love him. Every time the flicker of hope sprang up, something always doused it.

His head shot up as the front door rattled. The little bell tinkled as the door swung open, and he heard footsteps enter the shop. Several footsteps.

"Gold?" a female voice called out, strong and authoritative. He closed his eyes and sighed. "C'mon, we know you're back there. Ruby saw you enter the shop earlier while she was on her run."

He ground his teeth and swore under his breath.

"If you don't come out, we'll come in." Footsteps moved toward him.

He stepped into the front room, stopping just on the other side with his feet spread and his hands clasped in front of him. At times like his, he regretted tossing his cane aside. It helped add to the image.

"I see the posse has come to round me up," he commented drily. Emma stood nearest to him, with her parents on her left and Hook just behind her on the right. Regina hovered several feet behind the Charmings, and Belle stood off to the side near Hook. He noted that Henry was not there, nor was the baby. His eyes met Belle's, and against his will his breath caught and his heart skipped a beat. He cursed that she could still do that to him. With an effort, he turned away from her, focusing on Emma. "I admit I'm surprised the whole town isn't surrounding the shop, ready to lynch me."

"We haven't told anyone else that you're back," she said, crossing her arms and giving him a hard look. "Not yet."

"How kind," he retorted.

"You were banished," she continued, her voice taking on an accusatory tone. "You were not allowed to come back."

His eyes flicked to Belle briefly. "I was never told that I couldn't return," he replied matter-of-factly.

Hook stepped forward, his hands clenched as if he was barely restraining himself. "You're not welcome back, Crocodile."

"Oh-ho, is that so?" Rumple said, his eyebrows shooting upward in mock-surprise. "How convenient for everyone to forget what happened last year when Pan was prepared to wipe out the town and everyone in it."

"We're very grateful for you saving our lives, Rumplestiltskin," Snow spoke up. "But the fact remains that you continue to be a threat to us."

"We have the right and the responsibility to protect our families," David added.

Rumple outright laughed. "Protect our families? Tell that to Baelfire. Oh wait, you can't. He's dead." The pain and anger in his voice were palpable.

"Gold," Emma began, looking at him with pity and shared sorrow.

"And have you forgotten that I am part of that family now?" he asked, cutting her off and looking pointedly at her and her parents. "And what about caring for family, I might add? Do any of you care even the slightest what I have been through in the past year? Have any of you thought to ask? To show any concern beyond the basic 'I'm sorry for your loss'?" His voice broke, and he clamped his mouth shut, taking a deep breath in order to regain his composure. They all looked at each other nervously—and guiltily. He avoided looking at Belle because right now he knew he wouldn't be able to hold himself together.

"Rumple," Regina said quietly. He fixed his eyes on her, and she gazed back at him. Her hands wrung together nervously. "I know it's hard...for people like us, with the histories we've had, with the choices we've made. Habits are hard to break, as are others' perception of us. But they can be broken. They can be changed. If you want to stay here—if I want to stay here—then we have to change. To prove to everyone that we're not as lost as we seem." She tried to smile, but he could see in her eyes that she still struggled with that concept herself.

He blinked and licked his lips, his gaze roving the room, resting on the various objects related to past dealings with nearly everyone in Storybrooke and with many beyond. "What do any of you really know about me?" he asked. "No one here, save one, knew me before I became the Dark One." His eyes settled on Hook, and they hardened like flint. "Do you know, Emma, what your precious pirate did to me?" He glanced at her.

"Whatever he did was in the past," she said quickly, holding up a hand as if to ward off what he was going to say next.

"He stole my wife from me," Rumple said through gritted teeth. He glared at her then shifted it to Hook. "He was rather proud of the fact, too, if I recall. He told me he had taken many men's wives. And then do you know what he did?" Emma's mouth opened and closed several times, but nothing came out. "He told me that if I wanted her back, I would have to fight him." Rumple slammed his hand down on the countertop near him, causing everyone to jump. "Do you recall my cane, Miss Swan?" he asked, raising his voice. "I did not limp because I enjoyed it. I was crippled, with a young son at home, and he wanted me to fight for my wife. A duel. To the death." His glare drifted across the rest of the group. "He humiliated me in front of his crew. Left me to care for my son alone."

"That was not my fault," Hook said defensively, glancing at the others then settling back on Rumple. "She begged to come with me. She was going to leave you, anyway. She didn't want to stay with a coward." He spit the last word.

"Oh, and that makes what you did all right then, does it?" Rumple snapped, taking a step toward Hook. Hook clenched his fists again and looked ready for a fight.

"Whoa! Okay!" Emma called out, stepping between them and holding up her hands. "Not here please." Rumple could see that his story disturbed her, and that satisfied him enough to back down.

Almost.

"You've been on the receiving end of his womanizing efforts, Miss Swan," he said quietly. "Do you think Bae didn't see the flirting between the two of you?" She shifted uncomfortably. "How long after he was in the ground did you wait for your new fling?" His voice was rough with emotion. "How do you feel falling for the same trick this pirate pulled on your son's grandmother?" Emma's mouth fell open, and she turned her head away, her cheeks flushing scarlet and her eyes flashing angrily at the direct accusation.

"Don't you make this about her," Hook growled, pointing a finger at Rumple's chest. "We've all had our share of mistakes—"

Harsh laughter erupted from Rumple. "Oh yes! That is one thing I can agree on with you." He crossed his arms and looked Hook up and down as if sizing him. "How long were you a pirate before I met you? How many other families did you ruin in order to satiate your appetite and soothe your narcissism? How long did you aid Pan in kidnapping children? How many times did you try to kill my—try to kill Belle?" He narrowed his eyes. "How did it feel to betray my son? Or to betray those here when you were working for Cora? How many times have you run away from a situation where you could help just so you could save your own skin?" Hook glared back at him. "You don't need me to make you a villain. You do well enough on your own."

Rumple turned to Regina. "How about you, dearie?" he asked and began ticking things on his fingers. "You had a burning hatred toward a young child which should have been directed at your deceitful and manipulative mother. This hatred drove you try make repeated attempts on her life and has lasted until just recently—unless it's still there?" He raised an eyebrow questioningly. Regina looked away while Snow moved uneasily. "You murdered the king, imprisoned the man who loved you in a mirror, enslaved a young huntsman to do your every bidding, slaughtered those who opposed you, lied about and imprisoned Belle—" His voice caught again, and he ground his teeth. "Not to mention sacrificing your own father in order to bring the Dark Curse on everyone and send them here. And all of this before we first came to Storybrooke."

"I didn't create that curse," Regina answered, her voice tight and angry. She crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at him. "And you're the one who groomed me to become who I am."

"I did not make your choices for you, dearie," Rumple answered, holding up a hand. "I made no one's choices for them. I merely offered options and allowed them to choose for themselves." He glanced sideways at Emma. "You, Miss Swan. You wanted no part in helping the people of Storybrooke break their curse, despite how miserable you saw they were. You even resorted to kidnapping your son away from his legal mother so you could escape the responsibility. And how many times have you lied? Is that why you claim to be an expert in spotting them yourself?" Emma's gaze dropped to the ground. Shaking his head, Rumple turned to the Charmings. "Even you, the darling couple of Storybrooke. Who can forget the events of the first year Miss Swan joined us?"

"We were cursed!" Snow was quick to point out. Almost too quick, as if she had been anticipating it.

"Ah ha!" Rumple held up a hand, very reminiscent of his impish days in the Enchanted Forest. "Yes, you were. And, by a strange coincidence," his voice suddenly became very serious, and he fixed everyone with an intense glare, "so am I. Even now. You've had your curses broken. I have not."

Regina stared down at the floor. The Charmings and Emma looked at each other as if they hadn't ever made that connection. Hook just stared at Rumple with his arms crossed angrily. As for Belle, Rumple still couldn't look in her direction.

"How many of you have made mistakes, done things you regret, while fully in your right mind, uncursed?" he asked pointedly. More nervous shuffling. "I haven't even broached things done by you shining beacons of light after the first curse was broken. The list goes on." Nobody would look him in the eye. "Yes, we have all made mistakes. It's part of being human. I don't deny my own. I also don't deny that I have...manipulated events to go as I wished. I know I have been the villain." He clasped his hands once more. "I know what you want from me," he continued, slowly and intentionally. "I know what I have done to each and every one of you, sometimes beneficial, sometimes not so magnanimous. Yes, there are days when I want to leave everyone in this ridiculous town to their fate." He glanced briefly at Hook and Regina. "But more often, I have acted to save you and those you love, although you may have forgotten." He shuddered. "I may be free from Zelena, but I am still enslaved to the curse. I face it every day, every moment. It's not easy for anyone, but it's especially not easy for me." His gaze shifted to Emma once more. "There was nothing I wanted more than to find my son and become a family again. To be the father he wanted me to be. Everything I did, everything I crafted and brought together, centuries of planning, was for that purpose and that purpose alone." He closed his eyes. "And yet, when the day came, he still resented me, and I still could not let go of my power, the one thing that made me lose him in the first place. To this day, I can't do it. Its cords are bound too tightly around me. Sometimes I wonder if the man I was is even in there anymore." Finally, he looked to his wife. Her eyes glimmered, and her cheeks were stained with tears. "I wasn't always a monster," he finished softly.

"Will you leave us?" Belle asked around her tears. He blinked then realized that she was talking to the others. Turning her head, she glanced at them. "Please. I would like to talk with him alone."

"Are you sure?" Emma asked her, looking worried.

"I'll be fine," Belle assured her. "He won't hurt me, if that's what concerns you."

Emma gave Rumple one last lingering look before turning and leading the others to the door. Silently, they filed out of the shop. Rumple stared at Belle warily, keeping distance between them. She noticed the tense way he held himself and his hesitation to draw near her, and despite her frustration with him, it hurt.

"Why do you look at me like that?" she asked, wrapping her arms around each other as if she was cold.

"The last time you wanted to talk with me alone, you abandoned me at the edge of town with nothing but the clothes on my back," he said flatly.

"I was hurt," she murmured, glancing down. "You had betrayed me yet again, and I knew no other recourse I could take to protect the people here."

"You abandoned me!" he yelled. She flinched. When he spoke again, his voice was quieter but barely under control. "Did you forget that I cannot walk without support, either from my magic or my cane? Did you forget that each step is an agony to me? Did you not realize how far I would have to walk, in the dark, in the cold, in pain, not just in my ankle but also in here?" He pounded his chest while tears hovered at the corners of his eyes. He quickly blinked them away. "You promised to love me, all of me, and then you did that! What am I supposed to believe, Belle?"

Her own tears fell hot on her cheeks. "You left me no choice, Rumple!" she cried.

"No choice? No choice?" he repeated. "You didn't even give me the chance to explain myself! Do you even know what I was doing?"

"You were about to kill Hook," she said, her voice thick with sorrow. "You took control of him like Zelena did with you." Rumple looked as if she had slapped him. "You forced him to do what you did not want to do yourself. You banished the fairies into that magical hat of yours so that you could use it for your purposes. You were going to do that to Emma, but she stopped herself before it went too far."

Rumple turned his back toward her, leaning wearily on the countertop with his head bowed. "You know better than anyone what Hook has done to me," he rasped. "There is no love lost between us. He has been hunting for my skin for most of my life. Or do you forget that he very nearly succeeded in killing me? Not long after he—" The words caught in his throat. "After he nearly killed you in my arms?"

Belle placed a hand over her heart, her face pinched with grief. "I remember," she said softly. "Even if that time is still a bit hazy to me." She stepped closer to him. "But he has changed since then."

Rumple snorted hollowly. "Has he? Has he truly? Why, because he wants to win Emma's heart?" His hands tightened into fists. "Changing one's behavior in order to get what one wants is not improvement. It is merely a mask to hide the real man beneath. The change has to come from the heart." His lips curled over his clenched teeth. "And I can assure you that his heart is as black as it ever was."

"He expressed real regret over what he had done while under your control," Belle insisted.

Laughing, Rumple twisted his head and looked at her. "Regret over what he had done, or regret that he had allowed himself to be controlled by me?"

Belle opened her mouth then closed it again, frowning.

"He has been self-focused for far too long to suddenly change because of a woman, even if he does love her," Rumple said, looking away once more. "I should know that better than anyone," he added under his breath. His eyes strayed to the ring on his finger, his expression softening slightly.

"Well, there's also what you did to the fairies."

Rumple made a noise that sounded like a mix between a laugh and a cough. "I was doing everyone a favor there."

"It was wrong, Rumple."

He said nothing, only glanced up at her with a raised eyebrow.

"But do you know what hurt me the most?" Her eyes brimmed with tears again. "You lied to me! You claimed to give me your dagger as a sign of trust, but all you ever gave me was a fake." Her cheeks flushed red. "I know you loved me once. I truly believe it. Your curse was almost broken because of it." She dashed a hand across her eyes to wipe away the tears. "But now...is that fake, too? Can you not trust me with your real heart, just as you clearly cannot trust me with your real dagger?"

"That's not the way it is," Rumple objected, straightening and facing her fully once more, his hands up as if in surrender, his face stricken. "That's not the way it is at all, and you know it. How many times do I have to prove it to you? I died for you, Belle! Yes, I have made mistakes. Yes, I have lied. I'm not proud of it. Every time I see that I have hurt you, my heart breaks. I see again what a wretched man I have become. I warned you more than once that I'm not easy to love, that a beast still resides in here." He placed a hand on his chest. "But you promised me that it didn't matter, that you still saw in me someone worth fighting for." A tear broke free and slid down his cheek. He did nothing to brush it away. "And I'll have you know that I did give you the real dagger in the beginning. I just...I found that I needed it for something, but then I was going to return it. In fact, I was in the process of returning it when I discovered a way I could be free of it, once and for all. Free, Belle! Free from the terror of being controlled again, as I was under Zelena. The temptation was too great. That was what I was doing when you cast me out."

He watched her struggle with conflicting emotions, feeling sympathy for his situation and frustration with his methods. "You sought it at great cost to others," she said quietly.

"Such things always come with a price," he responded with a glint in his eye.

"But you are the one who is supposed to pay it. You know that." He looked down, and she continued, "There is probably some unseen consequence to you for following through with this plan. Perhaps you're already suffering that now." His head shot up again, and she gave him a grim smile. "Your curse can be broken by true love's kiss," she murmured. "I know it can. Even if that doesn't work for this curse here, surely we can find a way to break it that is pure, much like true love's kiss."

Rumple hesitated a moment. "I don't exactly want to break the curse entirely," he confessed.

Belle narrowed her eyes and frowned. "Why not?" He looked away guiltily, and she crossed her arms. "Oh. Because you will lose your power. The power you claim you don't love more than me."

"You don't understand!" he responded defensively, turning back to glare at her. "I need it. On my own, I am weak and powerless. I have been in the position where that which is precious to me has been torn away, and I refuse to go back to that helplessness. I need it to protect you. That's why I took it on myself in the first place, in order to protect Bae. Now I've lost him, and I can't bear to lose you, too. I will truly become nothing if I lose everything that is important to me. If I lose you." He looked at her urgently, eyes tinted with fear. "This is why I cannot simply let it go."

She looked at him with a mixture of disappointment and sympathy, resisting the urge to reach up and place her hand on his cheek. "I wish I could believe you," she said, swallowing hard. "But the gauntlet showed me the truth."

"Oh, that!" Rumple suddenly swung from fearful to furious with no warning. "Were you not listening to me when I told you what its power is? I said it showed a person's greatest weakness, which often is—but isn't always!—the thing they love most. Their weakness, Belle! My weakness!" He raised his voice once more, his brow furrowed angrily. "Of course my weakness is the dagger, and the power that comes with it! It is the one thing that can control me against my will. It is the one thing I have to protect above all else, or I will lose everything I am. But it is not the thing I love most! That was Bae. And that was you." A wave of hurt washed over the anger, and he held out his hand to her pleadingly. "I trusted you with my greatest weakness because you are the one I love most. And then you betrayed me with it."

"O-oh..." Belle whimpered, the color draining from her face.

"I trusted you not to use it against me," he said, holding her gaze. "Yes, I took the real dagger back without you realizing it, but you also tried to use my dagger against me when I didn't do as you thought I should." His cheek twitched. "The trust I initially placed in you evidently was not reciprocated. I didn't give you the dagger in order for you to make sure I always do the right thing. That is my choice to make, Belle. You are free to give me your opinion on what I should do, but you do not have the right to force a choice on me." His eyes hardened.

"I just...I wanted to be the one to help you change," she said through her tears. "I wanted to help you become good again. To be freed from the darkness inside of you."

"Yes, to be the hero," he replied, his voice dripping with bitterness. "But don't you see? You don't get to be the hero by forcing others to do good. You have to inspire it in them." He reached out and brushed her cheek with his fingertips. Then his hand fell back to his side. "You do inspire me, Belle. You always have." He gave her a sad smile. "As long as you are not forcing me to bend to your will."

"I'm so sorry, Rumple," she sobbed.

"As am I, sweetheart."

She gasped at the unexpected endearment and fell forward to wrap her arms around him. He stood stiffly for a moment then cautiously put his arms around her. "I wanted so much to believe the best, but I couldn't," she said, her voice muffled against his chest. "Then I wanted to hate you and never see you again, but...I couldn't do that, either." Her arms tightened around him. "I missed you so much."

"As I did you," he murmured, burying his nose in her hair and breathing in her scent. Then, with a gentle firmness, he pushed her away. She looked up at him questioningly, and he shook his head sadly. "I'm not ready," he admitted softly. "I still have...things...I need to work through. We still have more to discuss." He kissed her forehead then released her. "I will not give up on us, but I will remind you once more: it will not be easy."

She nodded and wiped the tears off her cheeks. "I know."

"I'm not going to change overnight," he said. "I will still do things you don't understand or like. Don't forget that I am still under this curse."

She looked pained, but she said, "I understand."

Reaching out, he held her chin and forced her to look directly at him. "I need you to believe in me. That's the only way we will get through this."

She nodded again, eyes wide. "I promise."

"And never forget that I love you, my Belle." He held her gaze for a moment longer. Then he turned away. "Once you leave, I will be locking up the shop. Not permanently, but until things settle down. I will contact you when I'm ready to talk again." He glanced over his shoulder. "Tell them I wish to be left alone."

"I will."

Belle waited, but when he didn't say anything more, he heard her soft footsteps recede. The bell above the door jingled once more, and then he was alone. He turned his head just in time to see her disappear past the edge of the shop. With a deep sigh, he set a protection spell over the entire shop and retreated into the back, collapsing wearily on the small bed he kept there. He had been dreading that confrontation ever since their last encounter, but it went better than he had hoped.

Now it was time to plan for his next move.