Author's Note: I feel I should give fair warning that this is an erotic crackfic (what a combo) in which various girls and women have their way with Sasuke and he pretends not to like it. If this is not your cup of tea, feel free to leave. If it is, please proceed.
The word came shortly after midnight that a missing-nin had been captured. Someone dangerous. Someone big. It wasn't until dawn that Tsunade received confirmation that Uchiha Sasuke was the one who had been netted, by Anko no less, and that he was currently en route to the village. Her first thought was to alert the council, until she realized what the likely consequences of that action would be. Knowing how deeply Sakura and Naruto still cared for him, she decided to hold off until she had a better grasp of the current situation.
Sitting in her office, she heard Shizune greet Anko and watched as the latter was let in. Looking tired but surprisingly cheerful, Anko strolled leisurely over to her desk and plopped down, stretching her arms and relaxing into the chair. She looked like she had traveled far in a short amount of time. Tsunade's eyes flicked back to the door, and Anko caught her, because she started smirking.
"Looking for something?"
"Where is he?" Tsunade had lost what little patience she had left waiting for the confirmation.
"I've got him tied up and unconscious next door. I told Shizune where to find him."
"How the hell did you pull this off?"
"I guess you could say I stumbled onto him. Pure accident, as it were." Now Anko looked fully alert, putting her hands in her pockets and grinning at Tsunade.
"You better give me the details now."
"Aren't we hasty? Well, I was conducting some business in the Tea Country..."
"What kind of business?"
"Personal business." Now Anko was avoiding her gaze.
"...You were using one of those whorehouses again, weren't you? The ones where you get to "punish" boys and all that other kinky stuff."
Anko laughed. "Alright, you got me. Yes, I was using one of those, but it was only to relieve stress! It's not like I was hurting anybody. Okay, I was, but it was consensual!"
Tsunade sighed. "Just get on with it."
"So as I was saying, I was in the Tea Country and was having a pleasant little time when I heard this big commotion in one of the other rooms. It sounded like this girl was being attacked, and you know I can't stand that sort of the thing, so I went to go check it out. Imagine my surprise when I found out those girlish cries were coming from none other than Uchiha Sasuke, stark naked and completely berserk. I just reacted and subdued him, which was easier than I thought. He practically fainted in my arms, much to the surprise of the woman who was about to pounce on him and myself."
Tsunade stared at her. "What the hell was he doing there in the first place?"
Anko grinned. "From what I could piece together afterwards, it seems like he stopped at the place to get out of the rain and just assumed it was an inn. He asked for a private room, and I guess the women thought he wanted their services. The place has options for men and women, after all. So he was sitting there, expecting dinner, when one of the women came and called him a bad boy, and proceeded to...well, I think you get the picture."
Tsunade leaned back into her chair and sighed. "Yes, unfortunately I do. When it came to capturing Sasuke, there were a lot of ways I imagined it would go down. This was not one of them."
"So what are you gonna do? Hand him over to interrogations?"
"I'm considering it. Speaking of questions, I was told there were several prominent bite marks all over his body that were suspiciously fresh. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?"
Anko smirked and stood up. "My fun time got interrupted. I had to release all that pent-up stress somehow. Besides, it was worth it. If that hot piece of Uchiha ass were an option at that place, I'd be going every day, as would many other women. They'd make killing."
Tsunade gave Anko her most disapproving look and gestured toward the door. "That will be all for now. Send Shizune in on your way out."
Thinking hard as Anko left, Tsunade ran over the many things she could do to Sasuke to ensure he was both punished and still alive. They were not pleasant, nor were they easy. Sakura was her beloved pupil, and she knew how devastating it would be to see Sasuke in jail or awaiting execution. There was no easy way out of this. Anko's parting words were also having a disturbing effect on her schemes.
"Tsunade-sama?" Shizune was standing before her desk, looking at her curiously.
"Do you think Uchiha Sasuke still has some good in him, Shizune?"
"There are still a few in the village who believe so."
Tsunade stood up. "I think of him, and all I see is a scared little boy, crying because he's all alone. He's committed crimes, and he will pay for them, but I want them to be on my terms, not the council's."
"What are you going to do?"
"We're going to keep the fact of his capture a secret, at least for now. I know of a place in the village where we can keep him secure and away from prying eyes. I also know of a way in which we rehabilitate him and gain some extra revenue."
"How?" When Tsunade whispered her plan to Shizune, the other was visibly shocked.
"Yes, it's certainly not perfect, and I don't need you to tell me all the ways in which it's wrong, but it's the best I can come up with for now. Besides, that money would go a long way in reducing my debts." Tsunade smiled for the first time since she had been woken up several hours earlier.
Healing Sasuke of what little injuries he had, the two of them moved the unconscious Uchiha to the designated location, a hidden room with a rather luxurious bed and bathroom. Tying him to the bedpost, they left his clothes on and placed a bowl of grapes next the bed. Locking the door behind them, they quickly moved before anyone could see them, only stopping to thank their accomplice.
"You're performing an invaluable service to the village, Ayame. Rest assured you and your father will be rewarded for your pains. The Ichiraku Ramen deserves every bit of it."
The cheerful waitress brushed off the compliments. "Anything we can do to help, Tsunade-sama." Something about the way her eyes darted to the room where Sasuke was hidden though, aroused Tsunade's suspicions. She decided to deal it with now.
"Ayame, you do know no one can enter that room unless I give them permission via specially designated papers, correct?"
The girl resumed looking at her with a flushed face. "Of course! I wouldn't dream of letting someone go in there without permission."
Still suspicious, but deciding to drop it, Tsunade nodded her approval and gave Ayame a small sign. "When the time comes, I want you to put that sign up on the restaurant. Only women are allowed to ask for the designated item, and only women with the papers I provide are allowed to receive it. Whatever money you receive as a result you will give to Shizune at the end of the day. You will be amply compensated at a later date."
Ayame stared at the sign with a puzzled look. "Uchiha cake? We don't sell any cakes though."
"Just put it up when I give the word. If all goes well, things should proceed smoothly. Let's go, Shizune. A certain someone would very much like to hear of this, I think."
Sasuke woke up to find himself stripped of his shirt but with his pants mercifully still on. His head ached, but otherwise he seemed in good health. Thinking to sit up, he found his arms bound to the bed. Confused, he lay still for a moment until the events of the previous night began to make their way back to his consciousness. He had been at an inn, something deeply disturbing had occurred. What the hell had it been?
The door suddenly opened, and all his attention was riveted to it. Had he been captured by a hostile nation, and was now about to meet their interrogator? The sadistic bastard was probably eager to start working on him, no doubt with some inventive torture meant to break him. Let them try, Sasuke thought to himself, I can take it all easily. So strong was his confidence that the old smirk now played upon his lips, which quickly vanished as soon as he realized Haruno Sakura was the one coming in.
"S-Sakura?" His voice sounded ridiculously high-pitched, unworthy of an Uchiha. And what was with the stutter? He never stuttered! His confusion turned to dread when he saw her smile at his predicament.
"Hello, Sasuke-kun. It's been a while. Do you know why I'm here?" She grinned and gave him a wink. He could feel his face burning hotly because of it. Her grin became even wider.
"I'm sure you're pretty confused right now. You know you're in the Leaf, but you don't know why you're not in prison. There's a lot of things you want to know, and I'd love to tell you them, but unfortunately I can't. So I'll just say this. I'm here to take care of you." She began unzipping her skirt.
This immediately set off all the alarm bells within Sasuke's head, as he struggled against his restraints. Sakura seemed unperturbed by his actions, smiling sweetly at him as one by one another piece of clothing was taken off, until she was left standing in a bright red bra and dark red panties. Sasuke stopped struggling to stare at the sight, his face a deep red as he watched his former team-mate walk over to him.
"You've been a very bad boy, Sasuke-kun." She straddled him and leaned over to whisper in his ear: "I have to punish you because of it." It was then he noticed she hadn't removed the gloves from her hands, the hands that were now pinching his nipples.
When he opened his mouth to cry out, she stuck her tongue in, kissing him passionately. She wrestled with his tongue for a few moments, then proceeded to lick his neck while her gloved hands pinched his nipples mercilessly."I'm going to claim your body, Sasuke-kun. I'm going to make you mine." She bit his ear after she said this, making his body shake from the effort.
While still rubbing his nipples between her fingers, she stuck her tongue out and slid it from the top of his chest all the way down to his belly button, which she promptly kissed, Sasuke had always been sensitive there, so he was unable to hold back the moan that now came forth, even though he had been desperately trying to stifle them. Sakura smiled at his flushed face and stuck her tongue in his belly button, twirling it around and causing Sasuke's hips to jerk up. Panting hard, he could feel his cock grow big from all the activity. Its presence did not escape Sakura's notice.
"Oh my, what is this? Are you getting excited, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura smirked at him, an expression he had never seen before and which only caused him to get harder. "That's no good. Bad boys needs to be punished, not rewarded." She bit his neck hard with her teeth, her gloved fingers tiring of his nipples and now reaching beneath him. They stopped when they reached his ass, which they promptly grabbed and started squeezing with a vengeance.
Sasuke was now moaning uncontrollably, grinding his body against Sakura's as she fondled his ass and sucked his neck. His cock felt like it was going to burst. Sakura seemed aware of this and decided to push him over the edge. Unhooking her red bra and throwing it the floor, she got into bed with him and pulled the covers over them. Resuming her groping of him, she looked him directly in the eyes.
"I love you so much, Sasuke-kun." She kissed him deeply and pressed her breasts against his body slick with sweat, moaning softly in his ear. There, beneath the covers, it all became too much. Sasuke felt himself cumming uncontrollably, his cock staining his clothes again and again. He was moaning in Sakura's arms, and he hated himself for it.
Sakura stuck her hand beneath the sheets and into his pants, coating her hand with his cum and bringing it back up for him to see. "Delicious" she said with a smirk as she licked it off her fingers, Sasuke breathing hard as he watched her. "But then you've always been delicious. I could eat you all day." She snuggled against him and licked his face.
"This is just the start, Sasuke-kun. You're going to be my kitty; my sexy, lonely little kitty who needs taking care of. You never have to worry about anything again." She smiled and gave him a burning kiss, stripping him of his pants and pulling the covers back over them. There followed much cuddling and kissing, but mostly passionate love-making, with Sasuke screaming Sakura's name long into the night, his body at the mercy of her sweet thighs and violent kisses.