She sat on the third row from the back. She took the window seat, in some vain hope that the passing scenery would distract her. She selected the most listened to playlist on her Ipod, knowing full well it would not put her in a better mood. She pulled her knees up to her chest, a move which the bus seat was to small to allow properly. Finally she closed her eyes, knowing full well that she was now alone, and the only possible person who could change this may not want to help her at all.
She was average in appearance in every way. Brown hair, brown eyes, an average build and stood at 5 ft 5. But underneath it she was broken. Not physically, emotionally. The girl had been a happy child, care free and innocent. But everything changed when she turned 14.
She had returned home from school as normal and found her parents in a heated argument with her older sister. At 4 years older than her, they never had a stable relationship. They fought over toys when they were young, they fought for attention from their parents and just about everything else in-between and beyond.
"I won't lie any more Mom. She's old enough to handle the truth. To be perfectly honest I don't understand why you didn't just hand her over all those years ago." Her sisters words rang in her ears and she struggled to understand exactly what this could possibly mean.
"Lily" her mother sighed deeply before continuing "It's not that simple. We have a plan. We wait until she turns 18 and tell her then. Your father understood that as a result of my infidelity we would have Bella. He loves her none the less, and neither do I."
Bella stood in shock from hearing their argument. She suddenly could make sense of the comments and taunts Lily would throw at her when she was younger. "He's not your dad he's mine" and Lily's personal favourite "Your not my real sister. Mommy told me so". She understood now why people always told her she looked like her mother but never her father, and how her hair and eye colour matched neither of her parents. Her Mom had the lightest blue eyes and Lily shared this trait. Her father, or the man she had perceived to be, had stony grey eyes. Whereas her own where a dark shade of brown.
After making her presence known and the following round of inevitable questions, Bella discovered that her parents had separated for a period of time. Lily had remained with her Dad while her Mom had gone to stay with her Grandparents. Whilst staying with them she had gone out one night with an old friend from school Esme Platt. Whilst highly intoxicated as her mother had politely put it, she had met a man. Without taking his name she had foolishly slept with him. The next day she felt guilty and realised she was in love with Bella's dad and ran home and admitted what had happened. Her father had forgiven her and said no matter what happened he would stand by her. It turned out what happened was Bella.
Her parents decided that they would raise her as their own and would inform her when she turned eighteen. However Lily had found out and was jealous of Bella stealing her dad's attention. Lily's jealously mounted over the years and finally resulted in the outing of the family secret.
The years passed and Bella never really trusted Renee and Phil as she now called them. She rebelled and fell into the wrong crowd. She found new ways to excite herself, drinking, smoking, sex and tattoos. She may not look it on the outside to the casual observer but underneath the denim cut off shorts and hoodie she wore with her different coloured Converse on each foot, but Bella Swan was a lost soul with no real way back home.
When she turned fifteen, Victoria Scott had introduced her to smoking. At sixteen Laurent Parsons had introduced her to alcohol and sex. She found all three highly alluring and had no problem partaking in them. At seventeen Victoria and her boyfriend James had accompanied Bella to some back street tattoo shop on 3 occasions, which was why Bella know housed 3 separate tattoos.
The first was a four leaf clover on the inside of her right wrist. It was her lucky charm. The second was lyrics from her favourite song. They read "Fly High Free Bird" and extended up the left hand side of her ribs. Her third and final tattoo she had done in the back street shop was the one that held the most meaning to her. After reading East Of Eden for her English class, she had become fascinated over the characters debate on the the word "Timshel". Standing for Thou Mayest, she found it to hold meaning and believed it symbolised ones choice. This was the reason as to why the word Timshel now sat in cursive script on the back of her neck.
Bella lost the instinct to trust people and held them at arms length. She had acquaintances such as Victoria but no real friends. People learnt this over time and her image didn't help matters even if she wanted to make friends. People saw her as a freak, but Bella saw herself as original, a non conformist to high schools social structure and style guides. She wore denim cut off shorts come rain or shine, band t-shirts and pullover hoodies, but the defining trait of Bella was the fact the shoes on her feet were always Converse but she never wore a matching pair. Always a different colour on each foot.
Two weeks after her eighteenth birthday Renee and Phil were in a car accident. Neither survived. Bella mourned but her distancing from them was severe. Although they lived in the same house they rarely spoke any more and Renee and Phil had accepted that Bella was stepping away from them. Lily and Bella each received inheritance, but Lily made it clear that she wanted nothing to do with Bella ever again and that they would never be family.
This my friends is how it came to be, that Bella Swan was sitting three rows from the back, in the window seat, with her knees drawn up, on a bus headed to Forks, Washington. Because if Esme Platt still lived in the same town as her Grandparents had before they passed away, then maybe she could direct Bella in the direction of her real father.