Why didn't i see what you meant to me? How come I didn't SEE it. I had eyes, good ones too. I could see a hawk flying high up in the air, about to swoop down and get a mouse. But I was blind to the love I had for you. And it's too late now. You're gone and i just don't know what to do.
Alphonse was there. Looking on in worry when I started to shake. My exterior cracking. He had to drag me off. Literally, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me out of of there. While my arms flailed and i was kicking and screaming. Swears of course, you know how I was always saying "the lords name in vain" you would call it.
Blood. There was a lo of it. Spilling out all over the place. And it was your life, your essence just pouring out of you and onto the cement. And if alchemy was possible, I think in blindness i would have just slammed my hands on the ground and given it all up for you... my other arm.. leg...anything to just see you SMILE, TALK. FUCK, for you to just YELL AT ME, and tell me how I shouldn't leave my clothes all over the apartment.
WHY did you do this to me? What right did you have to just LEAVE. To DIE. What right did you have to LEAVE ME. How could yo-
But Edward's pen suddenly stopped, and she put the journal down on her desk when there was a rap on her door. Didn't Alphonse know she wanted to be alone? Who wouldn't? After seeing their best friend lying there in a pool of their own blood. Lifting her hand to wipe her eyes and nose with the sleeve of her white shirt. But it wasn't her shirt. It was his.
Having come back and just ripping apart the bedroom that they shared for convenience purpose. Pulling the sheets off his bed and hen proceeding to yank out the drawers of his dresser and scatter the clothes as she screamed and cried.And Alphonse, watched in shock as she did this. Her own heart wrenching at watching his own sister behaving like this. Watching her suffer from a broken heart.
So she wiped her nose again on the sleeve of the shirt that was only half way buttoned, and mismatched it seemed, as if hung off her shoulders. Her own hair matted and filthy from all the dust she let bellow and scatter about the room from over turning furniture.
"Leave me the fuck alone..." She snapped out. Obviously still upset.
But the soft knock came again. And it sounded like someone was leaning on the frame. As if they were waiting patiently.
Against her better judgement. But then again, When Edward was upset or infuriated about something, judgement went out the window. She flung the door open.
Only to come face to face with...
His hair was fuzzy from the mist outside of that early morning. (Ed having been up all night.. grieving in her own way.) And the shirt hung open to show the clean bandage. He was smiling. That small soft smile he would give her when she wasn't looking. And right now he was doing it to her face.
She launched herself at him and punched his shoulder. Crying out loudly and clutching the wrinkled open shirt he had hanging loosely on his frame.
And he said nothing. Understanding everything that was going on.
But she beat him to it. The words falling from her lips in a stuttering mess, Her mouth filled with the brim of her own tears that he whipped away as eh tied desperately to speak.
"I love you..."