Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.

Summary: My version about the truth about the last year. Spoilers for 8.03.

A/N: So this idea came about with me trying to think of a way for me to deal with Sam's non action in trying to find Dean... It doesn't explain everything and I may have some things wrong but I hope you like it.

Dean was at a bar at the moment trying to live it up again now that he was back or something to that effect. Kevin and the word of god were gone . Dean was holding onto him very tightly ever since he had mentioned wanting to live a normal life which he guessed was better then the anger he had display when Sam let him think he hadn't looked for him. Though apparently he was letting up for tonight which Sam was okay with because it gave him time to rebuild because it was getting harder and harder to lie.

Sam decided that he was thirsty and remembered seeing a soda vending machine on the other side of the motel. He grabbed his wallet and exited the room, he made his way to the soda machine when he heard a sound. He pretended like he hadn't noticed, and kept going past the soda machine wondering if it was nothing when he heard it again.

Sam turned around and pinned someone to the wall. He got a knife out from under his coat and put it to man. It wasn't the demon killing one Dean had that one with him but whatever it was didn't know that.

"Wait it's Benny." Sam slammed him into the wall even as he put the knife down to his side. Then he dragged him to the side of the building out of the view of prying eyes.

"You know your not supposed to be here what if Dean sees you?" Benny just smirked Sam hated vampires, not even all the time he had spent with them in the last year had swayed his view on them.

"I know but you spend time with someone you kind of get attached to them."

"So you what looking out for Dean?" Sam nearly growled.

"Just checking up on him making sure he's okay."

"You have to leave now, before he sees you."

"I also wanted to see you."

"You saw me, you saw Dean now you have to get out of here." Sam pushed him to the side hoping to emphasize his point.

"How long have you been following us?" Sam asked before he could stop himself. Benny kept smirking.

"I thought you wanted me to leave?"

"I do."

"But you also want to know things don't you?" Sam shook his head trying to clear his mind he had to get Benny away before Dean saw them together and started asking questions. But Benny was also right he did want to know something and Benny probably knew the answer they had spent so much time together in Purgatory together. A stab of familiar jealousy run through him before he pushed it back.

"What took you so damn long?" Dean was supposed to be back a long time ago.

"Your angel friend." Sam bit his lip and asked.

"What happened to Cas?"

"The angel? Dean didn't tell you?" Benny didn't wait for a reply "Of course he didn't or you wouldn't be asking. If Dean wanted you to know he would have told you. My loyalty is to the Alpha not to you and I don't have to tell you anything." Sam grit his teeth, vampires.

"Then why did you bring it up."

"I didn't I simply said you wanted to know things I never said I would actually tell the answers."

"Well then you need to get out of here then." Sam brought the knife back up his neck.

"You can't kill me, it's part of the deal." Benny said sneering.

"I know but you being here is a violation of part of the deal, I think that entitles me to kill you." Sam said pushing the point of the knife harder in his neck it would definitely leave a mark. Benny put his hands up and tried for a more friendly smile.

"I just want a little friendly conversation, how's Dean doing?" Sam reluctantly pulled his knife away from him and down to his side again and even backed away a few steps.

"You really do care for him don't you?" Sam asked.

"He called me."

"You talked to him?" Sam accused "That wasn't part of the deal." he shoved the part of himself that was wondering why Dean hadn't talked to him in a corner, he knew why Dean hadn't talked to him.

"He's having a bit of trouble adjusting. Was I not supposed to pick up when he called me?" Sam didn't like it any contact Dean had with Benny on this side would only lead Dean to figure out things Sam didn't want him to figure out.

"There's a reason you had to convince Dean to go your separate ways on the outside."

"I know to keep this all a secret, why did you want that by the way." Sam stopped himself from slamming his fist into anything their voices well his was already too loud he couldn't risk calling anymore attention to himself.

"That wasn't my doing! You think I want Dean to think I didn't look for him? It was part of the deal between me and the alpha a deal ,which you benefited immensely from by the way."

"But you wouldn't want him to know about the deal would you?"

"No." Sam said with a brief shake of his head.

"Have you told him yet about the end part of the deal?"

"I'm not going to tell him."

"Is that part of the deal?" Sam bit his lip, part of him wanted to tell him but how would he explain it without telling him all of it ,which he couldn't tell him. Besides the fact that Dean would never just let it be if he knew, he would try to change the deal and he couldn't let him do that.

"No...I just I want to enjoy the time I have left with him, better for him to think I'm leaving to enjoy a normal life again then for him to know the truth."

"You really think that Dean won't figure it out."

"The Alpha will make sure of it and you can't tell...no one will know, I'll just be the selfish brother who went to college again and Dean will just think I left him but I'm happy and safe and...he'll be alive. Now you have to go!" Sam demanded. Benny just looked at him for a moment.

"Watch out for him will ya?" Sam nodded, and Benny took off into the night.

"For as long as I can." Sam whispered.