Dear diary
It's at times like this when i wonder would it be easier if i had gone through with the knife no matter how many people tried to stop me well i guess i will never know not now anyway
i have been getting so angry so quickly lately people keep asking me if I'm okay I'm not but i say i am i wish they would just leave me alone but they don't it would make things so much easier if they did, in case HE comes back, incase IT happens again. i can't control what happens i can't control the memories they haunt me in my sleep i wake up screaming and fighting. Yeah i have friends but can they really be called friends after all what do they really know about me. NOTHING. They know little bits but they don't know it all they don't know the extent of the pain i have felt. I know they get frustrated with how little i tell them but it has to be that way. I can't risk HIM knowing that they know it's the best for everyone.
People don't understand me especially not them the Marauders they think my life is so easy and perfect but it's not. It's been better since i left in the summer before 4th year. the girls know something is up but they haven't confronted me about it lily keeps seeing through my mask a bit.
Yesterday when I was fighting with snape and Malfoy, snape said something about knowing my secret
What one
I wish my sisters were here there are seven of us
me (aqua- Acquanetta solange Sinclaire)
Scarlett (scar- Scarlett Isabeau Thornille)
turquoise ( turq-san- turquoise Bourke tetokagen)
onyx ( onyx amethyst carnelian)
raven ( raven ebony indigo)
violette ( vio- violette fawn xanthe)
crimson (crimz- crimson slate bloodstone)
the only problem with them being here would be that it would be harder to hide our secret
that's it for now bye