Can I Keep Him
"Can I keep him, sis?"
A groan slipped from me as I yanked myself up from the table and away from the mountain of bills littering it. My kid brother, Danny stood in the kitchen entrance, green eyes shining with hope as he beckoned me into the living room. Such a boy. Every day Danny heads out into the woods behind our home with his best friend TicTac, the albino ferret currently perched on his shoulder and every day he returns with a stray.
His exuberance was infectious and I smiled fondly at him, even though there was no way in hell we could afford to feed another one of his pets. It's not that Danny didn't understand our situation, he did to a degree but I skirted the truth, allowing him to just be a kid and not worry about adult things. I'd let him show me whatever critter he brought home and eventually find a way to rehome it with Danny thinking it was his idea. "What's it this time soot sprite?"
I crouched next to him, licked my thumb and laughed as he squirmed away while I wiped some of the dirt and weird fluorescent green goo from his face.
What the heck is this stuff?
Who knows. Danny never came home clean and since we were both die hard fans of movies such as Spirited Away and My Neighbor Totoro, anything by Studio Ghibli really, I started calling him soot sprite and he referred to me lovingly as Mononoke. The little shit. Yeah, I could be a monster but only when he brought home critters like baby gators or once a six-foot-long boa constrictor.
"Did you find Howl or Totoro?"
He frowned, face scrunching cutely in annoyance and said in a very serious tone, "Nina, I know they're not real."
I chuckled and ruffled his dark red locks as I stood. He used to think they were real. In fact, that's how he got over his fear of the woods and started going on adventures that often lasted most of the day. Sometimes I wished he'd be a little less bold, though. The boy lacked a sense of self-preservation. He was fearless for an eight-year-old just shy of four feet. A little short for his age but of course this never dissuaded him in any way, shape or form. If Danny told me he'd make it to the moon and get back in time for dinner I believed him.
I raised a brow, "This better not be another possum, Danny." He took my hand and tugged me along, ignoring me as he did so. "I'm serious Danny that last one- what was its name, Kiki ripped up the house and I still have a scar on my ass from where the bitch bit me..."
Words failed me, my eyes widened as they lighted upon the critter that stood hunched over in the doorway between the front yard and the living room. The thing was the size of a grizzly, hairless with a bulky muscular build that rippled under taut mottled skin. Metal plating of what I assumed were pieces of armor scarcely covered him, along with a weird netting that kinda looked like he might've stolen it from a hooker. You know if hookers wore armor. Its breaths were heavy and ragged, sounding strangled from behind the strange metal helmet it wore. Its head jerked up at the same time I grabbed my kid brother and yanked him behind me.
"Nina wait-"
"Stay behind me Danny!"
The creature growled as my gaze met it's through the black slits in the helmet. I couldn't see its eyes, not really but I knew they were staring straight at me. I gulped and started pushing my brother back towards the kitchen. My eyes flicked to the shotgun on the shelf above the tv. The creature saw this and growled, the sound sending a tremor of fear down my spine. It took a step and almost buckled and I realized the thing was hurt. It bled a green fluorescent color, the same stuff I'd wiped off of Danny's face. The momma bear woke up inside me and the fear was replaced by a volcanic rage. This creature whatever it was had touched my baby brother.
I shoved Danny back into the kitchen without taking my eyes off the creature. Danny yelped and I glanced back at him just for a brief second taking my eyes off the thing in the living room. The world spun as suddenly I found myself gasping for air as something heavy collided with my chest and sent me sailing. My back hit the table and the damn thing toppled over with a loud clatter and papers went flying.
"No don't hurt her! She's my sister!"
I blinked and saw the creature look from Danny to me. The thing had moved damn fast but it had cost him to do so.
"Get away from my brother!" I roared. Streaking across the room like a rabbit on PCP, grabbed a frying pan, ducked as he swung an arm out and brained him with the pan using all of my 130lbs behind it. The creature made a strangled roar but fell face first to the floor with the grace of a bag of rocks. I didn't waste any time. Just scooped up my flailing brother, jumped over the hopefully dead creature and ran out the front door.
"Lemme go, sis! He wasn't going to hurt me-"
"Danny!" I dropped to my knees on the rotting wood porch and pulled him into my arms. "What the hell were you thinking?!" I held him out at arms length, this went beyond fearless.
He scowled, lips jutting out in a pout. "He's my pet and you killed him!"
I rolled my eyes and took in a shaky breath. "Yeah, that was kind of my intention there Danny."
The fluorescent green pool of blood beneath my feet caught my attention and I followed the path with my eyes down the porch steps through the grass until I lost sight of the trail in the dense brush. The creature had been hurt pretty bad apparently.
"Neens, he saved me. Bad guys don't save people."
My eyes snapped back to Danny's, "What?!"
Danny looked down at his Avengers T-shirt and pointed at Thor. "He came from up there-" His finger pointed to the sky. "-and he killed the bad guy."
While part of me found it hilarious that he compared the Norse God of Thunder to the mutant lovechild of a Klingon and Cthulhu sprawled out on my kitchen floor the other part of me suddenly felt terrified I might've just killed someone or thing who saved my brother.
"What are you talking about soot sprite?" I asked, more concerned with his well-being than the actual explanation. With a critical eye, I spun him slowly, checking for any injuries as he prattled on.
"There was this big bug thing Nina! You should've seen it! It was so cool!"
"Uh-huh," I muttered absently, scowling at the identical scrapes on both his forearms, dirty and bloody. The kind of scrape I might've found had he fallen off a bike onto gravel. Danny didn't have a bike and the only road in and out of here was dirt for a good two miles.
"... it had me wrapped in its tail then Pakkun fell from the sky and hit the bug thing with lightning!"
"Wait. Wait. Lightning?" If my eyes got any wider they'd pop right out of my head. I gave a wary glance back through the door and stared at the creature still lying facedown on the floor.
My, my, my grandma what big, clawed feet you have!
My brows furrowed and I met my brother's green orbs, which were staring at me as though I really had killed his pet.
"What bug thing?" We had some really nasty critters in Southern Louisiana and no shortage of beastly legends but this didn't sound like a loup-garou. "Did it hurt you?"
He shook his head, "Pakkun saved me, Neens."
"Pakkun? As in the pug dog from Naruto?"
He nodded and wiped his nose, green eyes shimmering with angry tears. Christ on a cracker he named that thing? Whatever that thing was it did not look like the little anime pug dog.
"Danny-"
He pulled away from me and crossed his arms over his chest. "Pakkun wasn't going to hurt me!"
I sighed, eyeing the frying pan still in my hand and grimacing at the imprint of the creatures helmet thingy. If he wasn't dead then he'd have a bitch of a headache when he came to.
"Stay outside and I'll go check on him okay?"
He perked up a little bit at that and nodded. I ruffled his hair before walking back inside, careful not to slip in the freaking dayglo green blood. I traded the frying pan for the shotgun and edged closer, heart pounding like a jackhammer. Tentatively I kicked the creature's leg and jump back. It didn't move. Didn't even twitch. No reaction.
Crap I killed it.
"Is Pakkun alri-"
"Christ!" I almost jumped out of my skin as my brother appeared behind me. "Danny what part of stay outside did you not understand?!"
"All of it," he said, ducking under my arm to crouch over the body.
Taking a deep breath, I ran a hand down my face in misery. How the hell was I gonna explain this to the Sheriff?
"He's alive!"
"What?!" I wrapped an arm around my brother and hauled him back against me. TicTac made a squeak of surprise at being jerked around so much and scrambled down the front of Danny's shirt. "How can you tell?"
Danny pointed at the creatures back. "Because he's still breathing, duh."
As if on cue the creatures back rose and fell, the faintest of the breaths. Surprisingly Danny noticed before I had, however, my eyes were focused on the things claws, waiting for the subtlest of twitches. Hate to see how fast this thing can move when angry or be on the receiving end of said anger. My chest hurt with each breath and I imagined a stellar bruise forming. Now that I thought about it why had the creature gone after me? Was he or it or whatever trying to protect Danny? And there again when I came after him with a frying pan. Had he been about to strike or had he put his arm up thinking I'd hurt Danny by accident?
I stared at the unconscious creature, lowering the shotgun.
"He's bleeding."
"Huh?" I snapped out of my thoughts and found Danny poking a deep ragged wound in the creature's side. Dayglo green blood oozed out, spreading across the tile at an alarming rate. "Damn."
I fished the smartphone out of my back pocket and slid a finger over the cracked screen to unlock it. Who do you call in this type of situation? The Sheriff? Animal control? Hell, the Men in Black?!
"Nina, what're you doin'?"
"Calling for help-"
"No! You can't?!"
"Why?"
"Because he came from outer space Nina! You know what they'll do if the government gets their hands on him?"
I scowled, "Seriously no more SyFy channel, Danny. Beside's he's bleeding out all over the floor! And I don't want this thing to die on-"
"He's an alien, Neens, not a thing. And he's my friend. Sheriff Watkins won't help him. He'll just shoot him the same way he shot Kiki."
"Your possum bit me on the ass! I had to have a rabies shot in the butt right after!"
"You scared Kiki that's why she attacked! You probably scared Pakkun too!"
"Possums don't act like that unless they're rabid and I highly doubt this alien was afraid of me either!"
We were in each other's faces, both baring our teeth. I could continue to argue but gave up in defeat when fat tears streaked down the side of his reddened cheeks.
"Fine I won't call the Sheriff but we have to call somebody."
He was already vehemently shaking his head. "Alien, sis. The people in these parts would all shoot first and not give a ripe shit later."
"Watch your language!"
He rolled his eyes.
"Then what pray tell do you expect me to do? I'm not a doctor-" My eyes roved over the aliens dark scaly hide. "-or a vet."
"You know CPR?"
I gritted my teeth. "He's breathing, Danny."
He scowled, lip jutting out again. "You stitched up my lip after Chad Watkins beat me up."
My shoulders stiffened and my eyes automatically snapped to the thin scar above Danny's lip at the mention of the little asstard. Four years older than Danny, the freaking brat should've got his ass handed to him for picking on a kid half his size but of course, he was the Sheriff's son and got away with just about anything. Snot-nose brat. I'd send him a card when they finally tossed his ass into juvie.
I eyed the six or seven-inch long wound in the creature's side and grimaced. If he had any internal damage well then he was shit out of luck. "You say this thing- er sorry this alien saved your life?"
Danny nodded emphatically.
Blowing out a breath I swept my short chestnut-red hair aside, wishing it were long enough to throw up in a ponytail but bobby pins worked fine too. It's hot in the South, so the style here is everything short. Short hair. Short shorts. Short tempers, etc.
I leaned the shotgun against the door frame. "Alright help me turn him over."
Together we heaved and learned very quickly that this alien weighed a ton. Maybe not as heavy as a male gator but damn close. Both of us together could barely lift the weight of his arm as we tried to pull instead but no dice.
"Swell," I growled. "Danny, go fetch a bowl..." I eyed the wound again and amended, "A bucket of hot water and towels. The ugly yellow ones. Also the antiseptic and medkit are under the kitchen sink."
I yanked off my Grateful Dead T-shirt and tossed it on the stairs, leaving me clad in a black sports bra that had pink skulls printed on it and Dri-FIT black shorts. Louisiana. Hot. Enough said.
The dog tags around my neck clicked and jingled as I crouched over the thing to get a better look. I tucked the dog tags down the bra to keep them from dragging through the radioactive-looking green blood.
Danny brought the supplies and after cleaning the wound I ran into a different problem. The alien had a seriously thick hide! Leathery but the kind that's well-maintained and smooth but somehow rough at the same time. Shoe and bag designers everywhere would foam at the mouth and pay big bucks for his skin.
Hmmm. Surreptitiously I eyed the bills scattered all over the floor but the moment I saw my brothers face I tossed the idea. Damn. You better not try and eat us, ugly or I will seriously sell you to the highest bidder!
After I bent the third needle I threw up my hands in frustration and leveled a determined look on my brother. A mere needle and thread weren't gonna do the trick. I'd have to Franken Stein this bitch. "Get the fishing supplies and duct tape."
I sanitized the mammoth sized hook and line then got back to work and by the time I was done my fingertips were raw and sore but I'd closed the wound. Looked ugly as hell but the damn thing was closed! The alien had another wound on his back so I had to remove some of his weird armor. Easier said than done but eventually I got the shoulder rig off and some of the netting which I found was actually a thin metal mesh. Whatever this thing was it came either prepared to hunt or defend itself from being hunted considering some the hardware strapped to its back. I unclipped a strange short staff thingy with blades longer than my forearm at each end and a whip attached at his hip that was segmented and really fucking sharp.
When I was done, Danny helped me clean up before I sent the soot sprite upstairs to take a shower.
"You won't call anyone right?" He asked, peeking back around the corner of the stairs and regarding me with heavy suspicion.
"So long as he doesn't wake up and attack me," I said honestly.
Danny's lips thinned, "Don't be such a mononoke and maybe he won't!"
My eyes narrowed to slits, "Shower soot sprite or I'll show you a mononoke."
He stuck out his tongue then darted up the stairs with a yelp as I made a grab for him. I laughed as the bathroom door slammed and sat on the bottom step, putting me within touching distance of the alien. Our house was small so everything was really close together. The stairway was directly adjacent to the open kitchen entrance. So as I sat there I could occasionally poke the alien with a toe to see if he would respond. He didn't. Out cold. Hell for all I know the alien was in a coma but there wasn't a whole lot I could do about that.
After the initial shock wore off I could think more clearly. If I reported my brother dragged an alien home no one would believe me and I'd become the butt of every joke in the parish. And even if someone believed me and drove out here, what then?
"Pain in my ass," I growled at the unconscious alien. "Where the heck did you come from? And why here of all places?"
No response. Not that I thought I'd get one but I was angry and needed someone to yell at.
Sighing, I got to my feet, stepped over our new big-lumpy rug and yanked a beer from the fridge. If this alien really saved Danny then I owed him a debt. For now, we would keep him here. It's not as if anyone ever dropped by so he was relatively safe from further discovery. But then what about the bug thing? Were there more of them? Hell were there more aliens like the one on my floor?!
I eyed the alien, watched as his back rose and fell. Was it just me or did he seem to be breathing better?
Taking a long pull from the beer, I made my way through the kitchen and straightened the table. Attempting to occupy my mind with mundane things because the alien in my kitchen was seriously wigging me out.
What the heck am I suppose to do if the alien dies?
I drew the bottle to my lips. Hesitated. Eyes widening at an equally terrifying thought.
What if he wakes up?...
...
"Seriously soot sprite next time if it doesn't look like E.T. don't bring it home."
Together on the pullout sofa, we watched The Iron Giant, after some incessant whining on my brothers part. It's a great movie. A classic but at the moment I was too hyper aware of the alien on the floor to appreciate the sound of Vin Diesel's voice.
"E.T.'s overrated-" He popped a piece of popcorn into his mouth and crunched. "-Flight of the Navigator was better."
Danny's head was cradled against my thigh, sprawled out on the sheets while I sat straight up with the shotgun laying against my other thigh. Carelessly he munched away on popcorn without the slightest worry. Wish I could be so at ease. My eyes kept drifting down to the floor, shoulders tensing at every sound.
"Movie's over."
"Huh?" I tore my eyes off the creatures burly back, unaware of the way I'd been watching the dark play across his skin. The credits were rolling on the screen and Danny looked up at me.
"Wanna watch Invasion of the Body Snatchers?" He said with a cheeky smile, apparently finding my discomfort funny. The little shit.
"No. Go to bed."
He rolled up onto his knees and crossed his arms over his chest with a stubborn expression. "It's summer, Neens."
God don't remind me! I didn't know if I could handle him having so much free time. Especially if he was gonna keep bringing home freaking hairless, armor wearing Yeti's!
"It's also after twelve," I said after a quick glance at my phone.
Danny looked at the alien then back at me. "What about you?"
I leaned into the back of the couch and propped the gun up on my leg. "You think I'm sleeping with that thing around?"
"Alien."
"Whatever."
"And his name is Pakkun."
"Does he know that?"
"No, but when I started calling him Pakkun all he did was make these weird clicking noises at me."
I raised a brow, "Clicking?"
Danny shrugged, "I doubt he speaks ooman."
"What?"
Again he shrugged as if none of this was a big deal, just another normal day. "That's what he called me. I think."
My brows furrowed, "Just how much time did you spend with this thi- Pakkun?"
He smiled, "Enough to know he makes your ex-boyfriend, Adam look like a swamp rat."
That got my attention. Adam was a bouncer and an underground fighter with plenty of wins to back up his over inflated ego. Standing at six and a half feet the guy was easily the tallest local and had the body of Rambo. Scary guy. Really scary.
"Nina?"
"Hm."
"He won't hurt us." His eyes flicked to the gun. "Well, he might if you shoot him." He scowled, "Don't shoot him."
I snorted and gave his shoulder a playful shove. "Bed. Now."
He sighed, the mattress creaked and groaned as he rolled off. "Promise?"
"Fine," I said with a heavy sigh. "As long as he doesn't-"
"He won't."
"And how do you know that?"
He started up the stairs. Stopped and turned to me with a smile, "Good guy, Neens. He's like Thor!"
If I remembered correctly a lot of innocent people died in those movies when Thor and the rest of the Avengers got involved. True they saved the world or whatever but there had still been a lot of collateral damage and my baby brother was not collateral damage.
However looking at my Danny's face I couldn't shine an ugly light on his hero's. Pakkun somehow managed to become one of those hero's so I'd give him the benefit of the doubt. For now.
I leaned over and propped the shotgun up beside the couch so that it was still in arms reach but no longer in my hands. Danny's face lit up and he ran back over and I giggled as he hugged me and gave me a big wet kiss on the cheek.
"Best sis, ever!"
"Uh-huh, and don't you forget it. Now go."
He smiled, then ran up the stairs and out of sight. Once he was gone my own smile slipped from my face as I eyed the shadow-draped figure on the floor.
Please don't make me regret this...
A/N: Hi. Hi. So this story came to me randomly the other day. Something meant to be humorous and not too serious. It takes my mind off of Deadly Curiosities when I've got writers block. Bit of a crackfic this one. Not sure how it will develop as of yet but who knows. Hope everyone enjoyed the first chapter.
P.S. Sorry for any mistakes. Also, Deadly Curiosities is still my main focus so this story may not update as often but I hope to update once a week with it as well. Can I Keep Him relates to nothing in my other story other than the obvious use of the Predators and Aliens. Also possible OC on the part of the predator.
Disclaimer: (still have no idea if I need to write one of these) I do not own anything from the Alien or Predator franchise but holy shit if I did I'd be offering some of the authors on this site movie deals for their stories!
Review and tell me your thoughts. Pretty, pretty please :)