A/N: Hey guys. So I wrote this story in dedication to my friend KJ99. I met her two years ago today on this very site and she has been one of the most inspiring and kindest individuals I have ever had the pleasure of talking to. She inspired me to start writing my own stories and to not be afraid of something that I love. In honor of our two year anniversary of friendship I have written this Spencer/Emily one-shot. I have loved getting to know her and I can't wait to learn even more about her. KJ99 thank you for everything. With much love redeclipse516 J
Emily
The overwhelming smell of flowers and nature encompassed me as I walked toward a brown bench located under a large willow tree. As I approached I could see an elderly woman sitting down watching a duck teach its ducklings how to swim around the pond. I sit down on the opposite side of the bench and similarly looked into the water thinking about all the events that led me to this moment in my life. The good. The bad. And the downright unpleasant. Lost in my thoughts I didn't notice the old woman move closer to my side of the bench until I felt a tap on my shoulder. I jump a little from my seat before looking over at the strange woman. She wore a long floral dress. Her white hair went down to her waist as her face held a large, almost knowing, smile as she looked at me.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you dear". She said with a kind glint in her eye.
"Its..ugh haha.. It's fine. I was just lost in my thoughts." I said tucking a piece of hair behind my ear, a nervous habit I developed over the years, before turning my gaze back to the image before me.
"So, what's got a young girl like yourself looking so contemplative?" She said copying my actions and looking back at the pond.
"Nothing really." I lie. She just chuckles before facing me again with the same smile she held earlier.
"I'm sorry if I'm bothering you it's just that I know that look you're wearing very well. You're thinking about someone… a boy perhaps". She said raising one of her eyebrows. I looked back at her with a small smile and shake of the head.
"Ah…. a girl then" She said with a knowing smile. I looked up at her surprised.
"Don't worry I don't judge. Love is love. No matter who you're with it can be the most beautiful thing in the world or it can be the most painful thing. Who you love doesn't change that." She says as her eyes wander back to the pond and lose focus. Almost as if she is looking through the pond and not at it.
"Thanks. I wish more people shared your point of view." I said while watching her shake herself out of whatever stupor she was in.
"As do I, but we can spend all day discussing the problems of the world and only come up with a few explanations for the behavior of man. I think we should focus on something a little bit more in our capability. Don't you?" She said with a mischievous look in her eye.
I just smile at her before replying "I.…. Its…..I…..Never mind I don't want to bother you."
"Trust me you're not a bother". She said as she turned her body fully facing me.
"I don't even know where to start." I say in almost a whisper.
"Well dear I think the beginning would suffice." She said with a comical glint her eyes.
I just laugh and nod my head before staring back at the pond.
"Have you… have you ever loved someone. And I'm not talking about the type of love that fades over time. I mean the type of love that hurts when you're away from the other person for too long. Love where another person completely takes over every thought you have. The type of love that… that…
"Challenges you beyond compare. Love that can rip your heart out one second then heal it the next. Love that makes you feel as if all your dreams are possible when the other person is around or like you have nothing left in the world when they're not. Yeah, I think I know a little about that." She finishes with a tiny smile on her face.
"Well, I found that person. At least I think I have." I said as my voice cracks just before I finished talking.
"Tell me about her." She replies in a soothing voice.
"She's the smartest person I've ever met. I mean like completely book smart. She could tell you the president of Ethiopia, which by the way is apparently Mulatu Teshome, and give you a complete run down of every historical figure you'd ever want to know about. But then… there's another side of her that comes out if you're lucky enough to get close to her. Like she's so funny. She can come up with a smart retort to anything you have to say to her. And when she smiles it's like…" I stop myself from finishing realizing I've been babbling. I turn to look at her only to see her giving me a smile so large the wrinkles around her mouth became more pronounced. As if to detail every happy moment she had in her life.
"Well, so far everything sounds amazing. What's wrong? Does she not like girls?" She asked confused.
"No, no she came out as bisexual a year or two before I came out to my friends. And she's dated girls in the past". I reply while getting more comfortable on the bench.
"So are you two together then?" She asked following my example and getting more comfortable as well.
"Honestly, I don't know". I said quietly. She just gave me a nod telling me to continue. "I mean it's cliché to say but I've loved her since the day I've met her and it's just grown stronger and fiercer over the years. I guess whatever's going on between us really started a couple of months ago."
"What's her name?" She asks. Her voice filled with curiosity.
"Spencer". I say getting lost in my memories.
Flashback
Classes had just finished for the year and I was on my way to my car to start my drive home for a well needed sleep. Hanna and Aria didn't even bother coming to school, but Spencer did so I of course volunteered to come with her. Just as I was about to get into my car a pair of hands cover my eyes. A large smile makes its way onto my face before I gently pry the hands off of me and turn towards the culprit.
"Hey Spence". The large smile still present on my face as I take her in.
"Hey Em." She says with a smile of her own.
Moving my bag off my shoulder and throwing it into the car I ask "So what's up?"
"I have a favor to ask."
"What is it?" I ask suspiciously.
"Do you think you can you give me a ride?" She asked with a hopeful smile.
"Oh yeah, of course. Why would you ev…"
"To Boston". She says as she cuts me off.
"Boston? Like Boston, Massachusetts?" I asked a bit flabbergasted.
"Yeah." She responds meekly.
"Why the hell do you want to go to Boston?" I yell drawing attention to us. She moves away from me before pointing to the car. I walk around to the passenger side and open the door for her. After she gets in I walk back to my side and get in. Once I'm seated I turn to face her only to find her looking down with a small smile on her face. She looks so astoundingly beautiful. Though I would love to just sit here and look at her all day I have too many questions racing through my head. I clear my throat bringing her back from whatever she was thinking about and gave her look that could only be described as "explain now". She sighed before giving me a look of resignation and facing me fully.
"Well, I don't know if you've noticed but I've been a bit distant lately". She says. Though as she finishes her sentence she lowers her gaze guiltily.
Never shifting my gaze from her I respond "I've noticed". She raises her head and our eyes connect. Her chocolate brown eyes are highlighted by the sun making her look even more heavenly then normal. An electric pulse makes its way through my body causing me to shiver and inevitably break our staring contest. Clearing my throat a bit I nod at her to continue.
"The reason I've been so distant lately is because I've been seeing someone." As soon as the words leave her mouth my heart constricts as every breath suddenly becomes impossible to take. Shifting my body so I'm no longer looking at her but instead am looking out the driver side window I manage to respond with a soft "Really".
"Yeah". She responds in a voice just as soft before continuing with "We met at a college event. He was tour guide and he…"
"Wait." I turn to face her. "He's in college already?"
"Yeah. Why does that mat…"
"Spence you're only 17. He's probably using you." I say cutting her off.
"Em he's not like that. He…"
"WHAT! He cares about you? He loves you?" A dark chuckle escapes my lips as I cut her off again getting more agitated.
"YES EM. He does. And as my friend I thought you would be happy for me." Her voice becoming just as agitated as mine. I take a deep breath and close my eyes for a few seconds. When I open them I find Spencer looking down at her hands. Sighing I cautiously put my hand on her arm gaining her attention.
"Spence I'm sorry. I just don't want you to get hurt. You're too important to me". I move my hand from her arm and into her hand giving it a gentle squeeze.
"Em he's not going to hurt me". She says with a small smile. Giving her hand another squeeze I let go and nod my head.
"Wait don't you have a car? Why do you need me to drive you?" I ask confused.
"Melissa's car broke down and of course my parents offer up mine to appease her. I would call Adam, that's his name by the way, to come and get me but I wanted to surprise him". She said as she buckles her seatbelt.
Following her example and starting the car I ask "So when did you want to leave? Tonight?" I say backing out of the parking space.
"I was thinking now". I immediately stomp on the breaks causing the whole parking lot full of students to yet again look in our direction. With a sheepish look to one or two of them I turn back to Spencer.
"What do you mean now?"
"Now. It means at the present time or moment". She responded with a cheeky grin. The look on my face must have said it all because she suddenly said "Sorry and if we leave now we could make it there before 9:00 PM". Giving me her best puppy dog eyes as a final touch I just nod and begin driving again.
"Can you put the address into the G.P.S?" Nodding she enters the address and we begin our journey.
Throughout the drive I look over at Spencer through the corner of my eye. It seems the closer we get to Boston the more excited she gets and the more disappointed I get. She'll never see me the way I see her. She'll never love me the way I love her and that's just something I'll have to except. The smile on her face has to be enough for me even if I'm not the one who put it there. A couple hours later we arrive at a large apartment complex.
"Well this is it." I state staring at the street. Spencer gets out of the car and comes on my side. She signals for me to get out. I do so and before I can say anything she throws her arms around me in a tight hug. I breathe in her sent wishing we could stay this way. All too soon she pulls away from me.
"Thanks Em". She says with a small smile.
"Anytime". She looks at me with an undiscernible look. Before I could even begin to try and break down what it meant. She walks away and into the complex. Getting back into the car I place both of my hands in to the wheel and begin to bang my head on the top of the wheel.
"Why me? Why me? Why me?" I repeat under my breath. A sudden knock on the window breaks me out of my train of thought. A police officer holding a flashlight gives me a questioning look. I roll down the window.
"Everything alright here?" He asks.
"Yeah. Yeah. I'm fine. Everything 's perfect". I say frantically a bit unnerved by his presence.
"I'm going to have to ask you to get out of the car". He says stepping away from my door.
"What? Why? I haven't done anything?" I say slightly freaking out.
"Please just do it". I nod my head before getting out of the car.
"OK. Now I'm going to need you to walk in a straight line up to the tree right there". He said pointing to a tree not far from us.
"Wait. Do you think I'm drunk? Because I'm not. I'm just not in a right state of mind at the moment". I say with a slight urgency. Realizing too late that it probably wasn't the best thing to say. He just gives me a "yeah we'll see look" and nodding to the tree. I walk in a straight line to the tree and back. Before giving him a satisfied smile. He gives me a sarcastic smile back before motioning me forward. He then checks my eyes with the flashlight. Seemingly satisfied with the results he backs away.
"I'm sorry classes ended a couple of days ago and we've caught a bunch of underage drinker around here. But if it helps my case you were just sitting in your car banging your head on the wheel". He said looking actually remorseful.
I chuckle at his last statement before replying "Yeah. It's a long story".
"Aren't they always? Well, I should be finishing my route. Have a goodnight". He gives me a small smile before continuing down the street. I leaned back on my car and closed my eyes. I don't know how much time had passed before I heard shouting voices.
"Spencer listen to me. It's not what it looks like". Said a handsome man wearing only a pair of sweats. He tried to grab her but she moved away.
"REALLY! Because it looked like you were sticking your tongue down her throat". She yelled. Again twisting out of his hold. Walking up to me she says "Em lets go". I quickly turn around and get into the car as she does the same on the other side. I was prepared to drive off when the guy, Adam if I'm remembering correctly, stands in front of the car.
"WE WILL RUN YOU OVER". Spencer yells out of her window. Then looks at me and says "Drive".
"Spencer he's in…"
"DRIVE!" I immediately hit the accelerator as Adam jumps out of the way. After a couple of minutes driving I pull into an abandon parking lot. Turning my body to face Spencer I am able to get my first good look at her. Her eyes are swollen and red. Tears are streaming down her face and her arms are wrapped around herself almost as if to shield her from the world.
"Spence what's wrong?" I said putting my hand under her chin to get her to face me. She tries to move away but I hold her so she can't. "Spence it's me. You can tell me".
"When…I walked… He…" She started sobbing uncontrollably before she could say anything else. I immediately get out of the car and go to her side. Opening the passenger door I gather her in my arms and hug her tightly. She doesn't protest as she hugs me back just as tight.
"He cheated Em. He was with another girl when I walked in". She said into my shoulder.
"Spence". I say softly into her hair. Wanting nothing more than to go back and actually run him over.
"Was I just not good enough? Will I ever be enough?" She sobbed out. Gathering her face into my hands I look directly into her eyes.
"Spencer Jill Hastings you are more than enough". Her eyes drift away from mine. "Look at me". I say softly but forcefully. "You are the most beautiful and smartest girl I have ever met Spence. Were you not good enough? Spence you're what dreams are made of. Sometimes I think no one could ever measure up to you. And stop making that face because I know you. I know you better than most. So stop crying over some jerk who will probably end up with a horrendous STD. You are too beautiful to waste your tears on someone like him". I wipe the remaining tears from her face.
"You're right you know. You know me better than most. You'll probably know me better than anyone ever will". She said looking me in the eyes. I immediately let go of her and turn around. "Em what's wrong?"
"You can't just say stuff like that Spence". I manage to sigh out.
"Stuff like what?" She asks confused.
Turning back toward her I respond "Stuff about me being the only one who will ever know you. When you say stuff like that it makes me want to…" I stop not knowing what to say.
"Want to what Em?" She says softly as she moved closer to me. Looking into her eyes. Seeing her standing so close to me. It was all too much.
"Do this". I whisper before connecting my lips with hers. It felt amazing. After of a couple of seconds of me kissing her without any response I was about to pull away when her arms encircled my neck as she pulled me closer finally responding to the kiss. An explosions of emotions encompassed me.
The kiss started off soft and gentle only to become more urgent and eager. We pulled away for second to gather our breaths before coming back together. I backed her up until she was sandwiched between me and the car. My hands moving on their own accord over her body just as hers tangled themselves into my hair. I began to kiss my way down leaving a trail of kisses on her cheek and jaw until I reached her neck. Kissing, biting and sucking. She began moaning which only made me work harder to hear more noises like that. My hand made its way up her abdomen just below her breast.
"Em." She moans out as I continue my work on her neck. Hearing my name seemingly knocks me out of whatever haze I was in. I slow down my ministrations before leaving one last soft kiss on her lips.
"I've waited so long to do that. I just feel so…" I chuckle a bit still breathing heavily. I pull her into a hug holding her close. We stay in our position for a couple of minutes before I hear a soft mumbling.
"What'd you say?" I ask leaning away from her.
"What do you feel?" She asks. I give her a strange look. "You said you feel so and then you stopped. What do you feel? At least what do you feel for me?"
"It's not about how I feel Spencer because I think that's pretty clear, but just in case it isn't". I grab her hands and hold them in mine. "Spence I love you. I'm in love with you. I always have been. I mean why would I not be? You taught me it was ok to be myself. You come to all my swim meets even the practices. You remember that I don't like mushroom on my pizza and pick it off for me when it's there. You remembered the necklace my dad gave me before he was shipped off and spent all night helping me search for it only to find out my mom was having it polished. You're my future Spence. You're the one I want standing beside me when my dreams come true. Do you really have to ask why or if I love you? The question is how do you feel about me?"
After what seemed like forever she responded in a sad voice "Em I don't know".
"It's fine Spence. I didn't tell you to make you feel bad. I just couldn't hold it in any longer. I know it's hard but just answer this one question. When you look into the future and see all your dreams come true. Who do you want next to you?
End of Flashback
"Well, what happened next? You can't just stop right there ". She said. I laugh at her enthusiasm.
"We got into the car, drove home and haven't really talked about it since". I say turning away from her and looking at the pond once again. "She doesn't know what she feels I guess. And I'm not going to force her into something she doesn't want".
"By the way you described that kiss it sounds like she wants you just as much as you want her". She responds with a small knowing smile.
"I don't know and maybe I never will".
"Well I think you're about to find out". She says. I look at her only to see her staring passed me. I turn to look in the direction she's facing only to be astounded by the sight. Looking more beautiful than I've ever seen her is Spencer.
"Go. Go get your girl". She said pushing me in the direction of Spencer. I stand and start to walk toward Spencer. Before I get more than five steps away I turn around.
"What's your name?" I ask as she gets up and gathers her things.
"That's not important right now Emily. She is". She says pointing back at Spencer. I look at Spencer as a large smile begins to take over my face before it contorts into confusion.
"How did you know my name?" I ask as I turn around only to find the woman gone. I look around but see no trace of her. Shaking my head I make my way over to Spencer.
"Hey Spence".
"It's you". She says right away.
"What?" I ask in confusion.
"The one I want next to me when all my dreams come true. It's you". The smile on my face is so large my cheeks begin to hurt. I gather her in my arms and kiss her pouring everything I felt into the kiss.
"I love you". She says as we break away.
"I love you too". I respond grabbing her hand and leading her out of the park. With one last glance at the bench under the willow tree I smile knowing everything will be ok.