Hoseok looked at me with eyes glistening, his stern face had erased any traces of his usual sunny smile that you were so used to. He was disappointed. You could just tell. It was something in his eyes, something so familiar to you that its absence made your heart sting. You truthfully never wanted it all to get this far and only now you slowly began to realize how much you had been fighting with each other, how many times the reasons had been unnecessary small things. But this time was different. You barely found time for each other these days and if you did, both of you ended up in an argument. It made you mad. It made him mad. To the point of no ending frustration. But he was still the light of your life.

"It's best if you leave now.", he had turned away his gaze from you, his voice low and quiet. Now there was no point in denying or fighting against it anymore. You grabbed your bag without another word and left his apartment, forcing yourself to hold back your sobbing while you felt your eyes tear up. Only after you had shut the door behind you and quickly walked through the hallway to the elevator you broke down and started crying, clutching onto your phone. It felt as if everything had been your fault and even though the both of you hated arguments and fights, you still could do nothing to prevent them. His schedule had slowly gotten so packed, it left no more space for you or anything else except for more work and lately even the time you spent together had always held a strange aura of tension and negative attitudes. No matter how often you let the matter go through your head, replayed every scenario where something went wrong, you could not find the cause. You wanted this to work. And you were sure, he did too. Just as much as you.

When you reached the entrance hall of the apartment, you stopped on the street for a moment, just wanting to catch the air of the cold night breeze for a moment. You unlocked your phone.

[11:20pm] You: We had a fight again.

*sent*

Even just breathing out seemed painful to you. You just felt lost. Whenever you were in a bad situation, whenever you had a really bad argument with Hoseok, you reminded yourself of all the happy, good memories you had come to share in all these years and you made sure you never forgot them. He had never forgotten you, no matter how rough his days had been, in the end he always came back into your arms. Even just small moments… like softly playing with his hair while he falls asleep on your lap were enough to remind you of how much you loved him. So why the hell could you just not make it work? Your phone vibrated in your pocket.

1 unread message

You had reached the subway station to make your way back home. It was already late at night and every bit of peace or happiness inside yourself seemed completely vanished. It happened rarely that you felt this upset after a fight. You quickly tried to dry your remaining tears while getting on the subway train, sitting down in the almost empty carriage. You pulled your phone out finally, to check the message you had almost forgotten about.

[11:35pm] Min Yoongi: shit. are you okay?

[11:36] You: i guess so. i don't know. I feel numb.

[11:40] Min Yoongi: if you need someone to talk to, i have time.

You stared at his text. Yoongi was the only one you really kept close touch with and the one you had known even longer than Hoseok. He always had been there for you, but what were your tiny dumb problems in contrast to everything he was dealing with now with them all being overworked and busy in his studio most of the time? You locked your phone and sighed. You knew, you'd only feel guilty if you accepted his offer now. Your phone vibrated in your hand a small moment later and you stared at your display.

[11:42] Min Yoongi: I meant it. You can come over if you want to talk

You bit your lip. It had been a while since you had seen Yoongi so why did you even hesitate? Sitting alone at home would make you feel even more miserable than you were doing now. You knew that Yoongi cared about you a lot, him to be worried about you was the last thing you wanted right now. And you did not even dare to think about texting Hoseok after what had just happened between both of you. When Hoseok got angry or upset you knew, he would be really angry to a point it sometimes scared you. Every emotion seemed to be more intense with him.

[11:49] You: I'll be there in 15 minutes.