Disclaimer: I own no charters or plot, this is a continuation of the wonderful works of Stephenie. I'm just another obsessive fan, and I couldn't wait for the next book, so I'm writing my own hahaha! ENJOY!
Eternity
I was staring at myself in the mirror wondering how anyone could want what I was looking at. A plain, mousy brown haired girl who tripped over everything that was unfortunate enough to cross her path. It had been two days since I'd seen Edward, two exceedingly long days. Every time he left me the emptiness in the pit of my stomach opened up again, along with the pain causing me to collapse on the ground gasping for air. I never realized how much the hole still hurt, until the thing that plugged it up was removed. It didn't hurt as much as it used to, I had finally convinced myself, every time he left, that he would come back to me, he had promised.
He hated it when I played that card, the one that reminded him what I had become when he had left, it hurt him; but sometimes I was so selfish I needed him to stay with me. This time I let him go, he needed time off. He had assured me I was every thing in his life, and that when he wasn't with me he was wishing he was, it felt good to believe that. Like me he'd had his own lapse of insanity when we were apart. It was possible now to live with the hole and not become a zombie again, I just liked it better when I had my plug.
I was staring in the mirror at the person Alice had tried to make beautiful. Next to her perfect shape and face I felt uncomfortable, self conscious, she looked more like a bride then I ever would even in the breath taking wedding gown she had bought me. I was staring in the mirror imaging my fiancé standing beside me, with his arm around my waste smiling that crooked smile I loved, with his unbearable beauty.
You're too desirable for your own good, he had told me. He was probably trying to make me feel better about myself. I wondered when I became a vampire too, if I would be as beautiful as him, it was hard to imagine. It would make me feel like I deserved him, and that it wouldn't be just my blood he longed for.
"Bella what are you dong?" I jumped at the touch of the cold hand as it came down on my bare shoulder. I hadn't noticed her dance behind me her icy skin seemed colder from surprise.
"Looking at what you've done to me," I sighed "I still don't see the beauty, only the beast." I saw a smile peek out from the corner of her perfect lips, and she sang out a laugh, it sounded like bells.
"Beauty isn't accomplished over night Bella." Alice teased, "Besides you haven't been sleeping well." All the humor from her voice was gone, replaced with worry and concern.
Edward must have bribed her with something to keep me happy, if he hadn't, Alice probably wouldn't be throwing me this stupid bachelorette party. No, never mind she would have any way, this was her thing, what she did for fun.
Edward should have be home spending our last night as an engaged couple with me, instead of camping in the mountain with a bunch of guys. Charlie especially liked the idea of keeping us separated. He didn't like the idea of us being alone in a house together unsupervised, I guess he had every right to be this overprotective as my father. Charlie had been putting on a better show than I would have thought possible, but he still didn't love Edward as much as I had hoped, as much as I wanted, as much as he had. He still blamed Edward for the zombie I had become during the months that followed his leaving.
What Charlie didn't know, was he had only left because he thought he was putting me in danger by being with me, not realizing that I was the magnet attracting it. Then there was the fact that if it were anyone else they wouldn't have gone completely psycho for as long as I did, a month maybe, but four? So really it was all my fault, even though Edward always found a way to blame himself, it made me sick.
When I had finally convinced Charlie that the only reason we were getting married was not, because I was pregnant, he seemed oddly cheerful to have a chance to walk me down the isle. It was so hard to keep the promise I'd made for him, and myself, that I would do this right and wait for the wedding night to get what I wanted. My one and only demand, Edward.I wanted that one human experience before I joined my future family , before the one thing I can't live without became second on the things I thirst for.
"Alice I'm fine, you know I'm too insane to keep quite when I sleep like everyone else. Well, the people that sleep anyway."
She smiled at me all worry gone, just as I had hoped. "Which is why we love you so much," she giggled.
"Knock, Knock" the voice sounded as that of an angel, if anyone truly new what an angel sounded like. Rosalie was easily the most gorgeous creature to have ever inhabited the earth. Her blonde curls looked like golden strands growing out of her head, draping down her flawless face. She was leaning against the door with her perfect body; one that would send even the snobbiest, self centered girl to a million dollar surgeon. Standing next to her I felt like the ugly duckling who never got to turn into a swan.
"I changed my mind." I couldn't detect the usual coldness in her voice. "I think I will come to Port Angeles with you. I mean, it's not everyday I gain a sister, even if she is making the stupidest decision of her life." Rosalie had always resented the fact that I had gotten to choose my fate, and she often voiced her opinion, not always in words but in silence. I remembered what she had said to me, less than a year ago; how she had became what she was, something she never wanted to be.
Don't you see Bella? You already have everything. You have a whole life ahead of you - everything I want.And you're going to just throw it away. Can't you see that I'd trade everything I have to be you. You have the choice I didn't have, and you're choosing wrongཀ
I had remembered that night so vividly, the night I convinced myself she wouldn't always hate me. I didn't care if she was just saying this to make Edward happy, or because she had finally realized why I was doing this and respected me; like a sister.
I couldn't help myself, I ran and hugged her with all the compaction that had just built up inside of me, tripping into her as I did so.
"Thank you," I whispered, I could feel my eyes get hot and I closed them shut.
I felt her perfect body shift, as she wrapped her arms around me.
She laughed " You promised Emmett you wouldn't do anything funny while he was gone, I should have brought a video camera." It was a genuine laugh and it surprised me. She really seemed to have become slightly more comfortable.
Then she had leaned her head down to my ear and whispered. So low I could just make it out, "Your welcome," she paused ,"I mean it."
Angela was the first to arrive, after all she was my other brides maid. I really wanted to include my one true girlfriend in my wedding. When I had asked her she seemed thrilled, not taken aback by the thought that I was a eighteen year old bride, just her friend who happened to be getting married. Jessica arrived shortly after followed by Reneé . She seemed to be positively glowing at the fact she had almost seen this coming and hadn't been imagining things, but she was still worried.
She didn't want me to turn into her; married right after high school only to get a divorce a year later. If the circumstances were different I would be just as worried as my mother, I had been just as worried, but what was one little ring with someone you knew you would always want to spend forever with. If Edward was just some high school sweetheart I would be reexamining what I was about to do as a huge mistake.
It was a small party I only had six people and then myself, so it made it easier when it was time for gifts. I had always hated attention, but since I was going to get more attention than I had ever gotten in my life, I needed the practice. Alice had saved me by announcing the gifts would be opened here not at La Bella Italia, the small Italian restaurant in Port Angeles, where we had reserved a portion of tables in the back. I could stand all the attention from the people I knew, there was no way I would put up with all the "Aww-ing" from the other diners.
I didn't even try to guess how expensive the gifts were. The jewelry my mom had given me to match my dress must have been more than my car and stereo combine. Angela had bought me a beautiful winter jacket, it was black and the hood had fur lining it. I tried it on and it felt like I was wearing a cloud; the cotton inside the jacket was so soft. It made me look forward to moving to Alaska, to live with Tanya in the short time before I became immortal; at least I'd be warm. Jess had gotten me the only gift I would probably never get to use, a toaster. It was the most hi-tech toaster I'd ever seen, it had six bread slots, a pull out oven and ten different toasting temperatures. I felt bad I wouldn't eat food long enough to use it. The photo album from Esme, Alice, and Rosalie looked like pure silver with a gold plate inscribed with the words "The Lion Fell in Love With the Lamb". Edward must have told them to inscribe that, because that was what he had whispered when he had taken me to our meadow for the first time. As I read it my eyes started to tear, and my heart started to over flow from the weight of emotions that were being thrown at me.
"What does the inscription mean?" My mother read over my shoulder. "I've never heard that saying before." It took me a minute to answer, one because I couldn't talk, and two because what would I say? Oh well Edwards the lion because he is a deadly vampire, and I'm the lamb because I'm the weak defenseless human, I felt Alice stiffen up behind me.
"Its just something Edward used to say because I was so clumsy." That made sense right? Him being the lion because he was strong and coordinated and me being the lamb, because I am flimsy and klutzy.
To my relief, my mother started to laugh "That's you all right Bells, like a lamb trying to walk." With that all the tension in the room lifted, it was off to Port Angeles.
I had only been in the restaurant once, but the flashbacks hit me like blows to the gut. It was hard being able to see him so clearly, but not touch him. That was the worst Hell Satin could ever punish me to, a Hell where I couldn't be with my damned love, my destiny. I was thankful I would see him in the morning in the little time we had before the wedding, it made it easier.
Jessica was babbling to Angela about some gossip Lauren had informed her on and finally seemed to have forgiven me for not making her one of my brides maids.
"Bella, Bellaཀ Aren't you excited? I know I am I got the perfect dress tooཀ Oh and Mike asked me if he could be my hand at the weddingཀ Its like old times, you and Edward me and Mikeཀ" Jess had jumped up and squeezed my shoulder by this point.
I tried to talk with enthusiasm in my voice.
"That's great Jess." It must have worked because she went back to Angela smiling.
Esme and Reneé were whispering and giggling about their soon to be betrothed children. Taking quick glances to where I sat, trying to get in to the conversation I had just walked into with Angela and Jess. Even Rosalie seemed to be enjoying what she was saying to Alice in a voice much too low for a person to be able to create. To my disbelief, I even found that the adrenalin that had kicked in from being so anxious had me enjoying myself, laughing at the stupidest things and not being able to peel the huge smile off my face. We had sat there for hours laughing and eating whatever our hearts desired and all of us were positively exhausted, except for my sisters and mother-in-law of course; but they put on a good show for people that hadn't slept in about fifty years. As we drove home I must of fallen asleep because after I had opened my eyes from what I had thought was blinking all the low mummers of my guests had been silenced; and I was being cared into the house by Alice.
"Aliceཀ" what was she doing picking me up like a baby doll when everyone could see her? "What are y-."
She placed her finger to my lips. "We already drove everyone home Bells, you've been out cold in that car. I just dropped your mom off at home she was too tired and too drunk to go alone; I was hoping you'd have been smart enough to go inside. Again you surprise us all." She was whispering now, but I could still hear the smile in her voice. She had gently thrown me under the covers of the bed Edward had placed in his room for me, before I knew where I was.
"Goodnight Bella," she laughed quietly, she kissed me on the forehead and sleep overwhelmed me.
I was almost having a nightmare, no I was having a nightmare. Charlie was walking me down the isle and there was Edward, making the hottest male model look like an average guy. I kept walking, our eyes never left each others, his smile was that crooked grin that made my heart skip beats. I kept walking, but then I realized I wasn't getting any closer. As I quickened my pace, I realized that Charlie should be slowing me down. Spinning, I noticed not only was Charlie gone, but so was everyone else. I was alone in the church with Edward, everyone had disappeared. I started running but I wasn't getting any closer. His face still in my smile as I started shouting his name.
Suddenly the church went icy cold and I realized what was going on. I tried so hard to come back in to consciousness that when I did I felt his arms restraining me. I realized I must have made a violent spasm in my effort to leave the nightmare to come back to my fairytale.
"It's okay Bella. I'm here, love, I'm not going anywhere," he reassured, his voice soft, too loving considering the fact I couldn't stand to give him any happiness unless it was with me. I felt so selfish, but I didn't care he was still here. What had I said? I'd ask him later if I remembered; probably something like "come back," or, "don't leave me."
I rolled over so my face was in his chest and I kissed his calor bone, once, twice three times. "I missed you." I whispered in to his chest taking in his sweet fragrance.
"It's been too long." He pulled my face to his and kissed me gently. I didn't dare open my eyes incase this dream left me. He pulled his face away slowly.
"Don't go," I pleaded almost hurting myself grabbing onto his shirt so hard. Pain came back into my not totally healed right hand and I flinched. He unclenched them from his t-shirt gently.
"Bella, love look at me." He held my face in his hands. "I'm not going anywhere, please open your eyes." He kissed me the way I wish he couldn't, too persuasive and my eyes fluttered open.
"See? Still here," he kissed the top of my head. "I missed you too. I couldn't wait for that trip to be over so I could see you again, the minute I kissed you goodbye and left you on the porch," he smiled.
I groaned, "I don't deserve you," and I cuddled more tightly into him so there would be almost no space, just us.
"I think you have it backwards," his laugh vibrated through me and I felt for the first time in two days truly happy.
"I needed to give you time off," I laughed back, and Edward was kissing me again. I could feel his breath in the bottom of throat, he seemed just as eager as I was. But his lips, all too soon, became softer and I felt him smile with me.
"The only vacation I ever want is with you."
"Well that's something I definitely agree with you on," my head was spinning from its newest dose of the sweetness that seem to radiate of his body.
"Sleep my one and only love, I will be here forever." Before I could object, he was humming my lullaby and I slipped into a dreamless sleep.
The Sun was shining very brightly when I awoke, and it warmed me with its touch. I looked to where Edward usually laid waiting for me in the morning, but it was empty replaced by a red rose on the pillow with a note;
Let forever begin, let us always be.
How did he come up with those things? They always made my heart fly with happiness; when I read them I could almost hear his voice. I crawled out of bed and went downstairs. Carlisle, Jasper, Emmet, and Edward had already left and again it was just us girls. Alice didn't eat, but she sure cooked like she did, I'd never tasted food that good in my life.
"I have a lot of spare time." she had told me. It made me think how much time I'd have when my days and nights turned into one sleepless year, one after another, after another.
The wedding was at noon, Alice had predicated that the weather would be in overcast by then, and that it would be okay for them to be outside. The idea of my husband stepping into the limo, and blinding all the passing drivers, the millions of rainbows shining off his body like diamonds made me anxious .
As I ate, Alice sat there impatiently, tapping her foot and sighing occasionally. I wanted to see how long I sat there before she just grabbed me like football and brought me to get dressed, but I decided I needed to do this before I changed my mind.
"Fine let's get this over with." I said pushing my plate away from me.
"Yay!" My human pace wasn't enough for her and next thing I knew I was being flown up the stairs in her arms.
"Take a nice shower while I get everything we need," She smiled, as she placed me down in front of her bathroom door.
"Alice won't you be ready within the first two minutes I'm in the shower?"
She looked appalled. "Bella these things take time; I wouldn't just put anything on your face, you're getting married. Oh and then there's your hair... Bella this is a delicate matter." I looked at her face and almost started laughing. She looked so serious. I
wanted to tell her to not even bother because it wouldn't make a difference in how I looked, but she seemed to really be looking forward to it.
"Fine."
The water felt so good on my body, I didn't know how cold I was until I had stepped in and it felt as if I had just singed my skin. Alice had gotten my favorite strawberry shampoo with its matching conditionerand body wash. I'd never smelt a combination so fruity. When I turned off the faucet I was greeted by the cold air that had been waiting to stab at me. I grabbed the towel and wrapped it around me as if it was a boa constrictor. Drying my self as quickly as possible to escape the cold I threw on the sweat pants and t-shirt Alice had placed on the vanity. I was debating wether she would kill me for brushing my own hair, but brushed it into a pony tail anyway, and quickly brushed my teeth. When I opened the door she was sitting on the couch, like Edward she didn't sleep so a bed was unnecessary.
"Finallyཀ" I was on the chair in front of her very large wall mirror, I swear if they threw me around like that much longer, there would be conciquences. She stood behind me for a moment looking from the mirror to the box of make-up she had next to her. "Ahh," she finally said taking the box and finding everything she needed. It took what felt like forever of her applying cleansers, putting on about five different colors of foundation to make a blushed color that looked natural on my skin, and applying on what ever else that was supposed to enhance my beauty. She smiled a lot and hummed as she worked she seemed so, happy.
"Can I see now Alice?"
"Of course not," she snapped. "Not until I'm done, and that means the dress and everything." She stopped doing my hair, "You're not patient at all."
"Sorry," I blushed.
"I was right that color is perfect on your cheeks," I blushed again. She went back behind me and touched up what ever she had been doing. She placed a beret on the left side of my head and stepped back to admire her work.
"Perfect," she sighed, "Now its time for your dress." She brought it over to me and helped me get it on without smudging my make-up. Then she took the jewelry my mother had given me and put on so gently I felt every cold link of the necklace as she put it on. She was so dramatic.
"There now you can look," she smiled. "Close your eyes" I did and she walked me to the mirror. "Open." The girl I saw in the mirror couldn't have been me, she looked, beautiful.
"Alice, how did you-?" I stopped to hug her and I felt my eyes start to water.
"It's a good thing I used water proof," she chuckled.
"Now you get ready," I told her dabbing my eyes with the tissue she gave me. "You only have a half hour, and I won't have my maid of honor in jeans and a t-shirt."
"Bella it'll take me fifteen minutes to get ready. Now go wait downstairs," she nudged me toward the door. As I walked down the stairs, I had to stare at my feet to make sure I didn't turn my radiant white dress red with blood. I rounded the corner into the kitchen to where Rosalie and Esme were sitting at the kitchen counter. Of course Rosalie was much prettier that I was even in her yellow strapless sun dress. Every inch of her perfect body was so white that the yellow fabric almost looked blinding. How can you put that much beauty on person. Esme looked like any loving mother would, her hair was in a tight bun and she wore a beautiful long sleeved blue evening gown. It was simple but gorgeous; she had picked a perfect dress to look amazing but not make me look under dressed.
"Bella, you look beautiful," Esme breathed and she came to embraced me.
"Really, you think? So do you," I turned to look at Rosalie. "You too."
She got up from the chair she was sitting on. "Esme's right you look amazing, like a bride." She seemed completely speechless, but I couldn't tell if it was because I looked good or because she had never gotten to get married, as a human. I knew she was perfectly happy with Emmett, but this was not what she wanted. She dreamed of rocking on her front porch, all gray and holding Emmett's hand as their grandchild, ran and sang around them.
I sat in the back of Rosalie's red convertible next to Alice. It was a quiet ride, except for Esme and Alice's constant giggles, Rosalie seemed to respect the idea that I could be so nervous. I wanted to scream so loudly even a vampire's ears would bleed. Alice had been right about the weather as she usually was, I'd learned better than to bet against her. After all she had predicted she would be doing my wedding, when at the same time I was hoping to just run to Vegas, or even better just have Edward turn me with no wedding at all.
We were just in time- I didn't want too much spare time, it made me anxiouse-, the only car in the church parking lot was Emmett's black Jeep. Rosalie drove us around to the back door where she let Alice and I out, Angela was already waiting. My two brides maids smiled at each other so excitedly, I thought their faces would rip in half. Alice had picked out her and Angela's dress; both of them were beautiful. Angela's was in a strait down light purple silk gown, that was almost strapless, but had short sleeves that fell off her shoulders, Alice's was the same but in an elegant baby blue that looked amazing against her spiky black hair.
"Are we going to wait out here all day or what?" I hadn't noticed I was shaking.
"Oh, calm down Bella," Alice rolled her eyes still smiling and let us into the church. We went into the room where the chorus usually practiced before a Sunday night mass, and waited for the my father to come so Angela and Alice could take their places across from Emmett and Jasper.
"Bella are you okay?" I always liked this about Angela, she could tell when you needed to talk or when you wanted everyone to shut up and leave you alone.
"No, I'm about take the most important walk of my life and all I can think about is tripping on my face." The horror had blown into me like a heat wave.
"Well you could always have Charlie carry down the isle," Alice seemed to be in an oddly chipper mood it really was getting on my nerves.
"Why are you so happy?" I grumbled
She leaned down to whisper into my ear, "If you knew how happy Edward was right now you'd be acting the same way." I was very glad that it was no one other than Angela in the room, because if there was, they would take it as a direct insult that they were being left out; she just assumed it was none of her business and dismissed it.
"If you'd known him for the past fifty years, you'd really respect how much this happiness you bring him really matters. Even Rosalie is dancing inside... even if she doesn't show it." Alice pulled her face from my ear smiling still, after hearing what she had to say, I was less bothered by it.
"Way inside." It came out as a whisper but Alice heard it and gave me a hug.
"Alice, Angela." The voice that I heard coming from behind the door made me more crazed rather than calm, it meant it was almost time.
"Has it been an hour already?" I squeaked. "How's that possible we just got hereཀ"
"Bella, you've kinda stared at that wall since we've gotten here. I thought you were in shock." Angela's voice was one of amusement and worry. "It'll be okay, Me and Alice gotta go, everything will be fine." She gave me a little squeeze on my shoulder and headed out the door.
"Bella," Alice kneeled down and kissed my forehead. "We all love you remember that, no matter what. Everything will go perfectly, don't worry." And with that she was gone too. I had been staring at my feet for I don't know how long before I noticed Charlie sitting next to me.
"Hey," I whispered.
"How you doing?" The smile on his face made the one Angela and Alice had on when we arrived at the church look like a smirk.
"Fine, just don't let me trip okay." I found myself shaking at the thought of it.
Charlie put his hands on my shoulders and looked rather amused. "I promise Bells your face will remain on the alter not on the carpet." He was laughing now, and seeing him this happy, made me laugh too.
"You're right, thanks." Then another horror hit me not like a wave of heat, but like a wave of glass.
"What"s wrong?"
"Dad, you know the part of the wedding where the priest asked if anyone thinks you shouldn't get married?"
"Yes." His face looked even more amused than before.
"What if someone screams 'NO'? That only really happens in movies right?"
"Bella, I don't think there is anyone in this church right now that thinks you and Edward should be kept apart; myself included." He kept a straight face when he said this. Could he actually mean it?
"Dad?"
"I can see how much he loves you. Keeping you two apart is like having toast without jam. I'm done trying to change your mind, I don't want to." He was smiling at me like he had just put down a five hundred pound weight.
"Oh Daddyཀ" I gave him a hug so tight that he had to pull my arms off so he could breath. "Sorry."
"It's okay. I knew how much you'd like to hear that, so I had to tell you. No matter how soft it made me look." He was smiling again, as he walked over to the door my stomach dropped I wanted to leave and never look at a church again; but it was too late. He opened my escape hatch in one swift motion, and blocked the way to the back exit. "Shall we?"
I had never had so many people looking at me at once, not even on the first day of school; but there were only one pair of eyes that mattered; his. The second I walked into the isle, the look on his face made me feel like I could just float away. I didn't want to run anymore. He had been whispering to Emmett, his best man, when I had rounded the corner, just in time for me to see his expression go from excited to astatic.
Right, left, right, left. That's the only thing I thought about other than him. Right, left, right left. He looked like an angel standing there, and that's what I thought he was no matter how many times he tried to convince me he was damned to hell from the moment his heart stopped. Right, left, right, left. You couldn't have salvation if you didn't have a soul, but if you had seen him standing there, no one in the world could tell you he didn't have one.
Charlie had kept his promise I hadn't tripped. He kissed me on the cheek "I love you Bells." I could feel the tears coming as he went to sit next to Renee and Phil. My mother and father could have been still married the way they were acting. My fathers
eyes were tearing, and my mother was wrapping her arms around him her eyes full of tears as well. Even Phil my step-father seemed to be happy to the point of waterworks, he had always been a nice guy.
"You look amazing." His voice calmed me instantly. He heard my heart jump and laughed, as he took my hand the priest began to speak.
"Dearly beloved, we are here today to join Edward Anthony Mason Cullen and Isabella Marie Swan in Holy matrimony."
No one speak, No one speak, hold your peace, oh god let them hold their peace. Those words played over and over as I looked into Edward's eyes, wanting nothing more than to always be with him. He was so calm, his smile made my knees weak, forcing me to lock them despite the fact that I knew you could faint if you did this for too long, but if I did faint I didn't want it to be because my husband was smiling at me.
"Edward Cullen do you take Isabella Swan to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse?"
His voice cut through the air with a firm grace. "I do." He then slipped the golden wedding band on my left hand on top of my engagement ring -which I had promised to never take off- and kissed it.
"And do you Isabella Swan take Edward Cullen to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse?"
This was it the moment I'd been dreading and waiting for since he'd asked me to marry him. "I-"
"Bella STOPཀ" He had came in so quietly I hadn't seen him enter. Jacob was jogging up the isle, but it looked like he was sprinting to everyone else. I had never felt this much hatred toward Jacob. He used to be like a brother, until I found out I was in love with him. I had forced myself to choose between him and Edward, the choice was easy, I knew which one of them I couldn't live without, but it had still hurt. What was he doing? Why was he trying to turn my life into the Hell I was feeling at that moment?
"Jake?" my voice was so shaky even I could barely understand it. I could feel the tears that came as a result of pure anger coming, but those of extreme grief as well. I wanted to be with Edward for my entire existence how ever long that was, and Jacob came in like a wrecking ball, knocking my dream down.
"Bella I couldn't let you go through with it I love youཀ" He didn't even look embarrassed or ashamed that he was ruining what was supposed to be the happiest day of my life. I felt Edward's hand tighten around mine in a force that said he was angry enough to rip Jacob to shreds, but didn't want to crush my hand, that force was saved for the hand that wasn't holding mine. Edward had always disliked Jacob, but not only because he was in love with me, but because he was a werewolf. There had been some long history between the two creatures and now they were just mortal enemies with me as the only neutral ground.
Despite his fury his demeanor remained calm, if I didn't know him so well his voice would have sounded calm as well, instead of full of furry and pain.
"What is going on Jacob? As you can see you are interrupting our wedding." He never once looked away from me, but from the unusual calmness radiating from the crowd he must have asked Jasper to keep them calm. Edwards ability to read thoughts allowed him to talk to them with out even opening his mouth. Like Edward Jasper had an amazing ability, he could control emotions, calm down a angry mob with pitch forks as easily as this priest could preach.
"Jake how could you do this to me?" My face was hot.
He ignored Edward's remark and answered mine.
"I'm sorry Bella I just couldn't let you destroy your life like this." He was talking in a voice that wouldn't go past me or Edward. "I never wanted to hurt you, you'll thank me in a few years, when you have kids and-." He had tried to wipe one of the tears of my face and I smacked it down. I'd forgotten how hard his skin was, I probably re-damaged the hand I broke a few months ago, punching him.
"Don't touch me Jacob Black," I hissed.
He looked amused, "So we're being formal now? Well Isabella Swan you need to reconsider what your doing. You are making a big mistake." I could see the pain behind his smile.
"Please Jake don't do this." It was so hard to make my words legible.
Edward saw all the pain I was in. "Did you really want to hurt her, because that's all you're doing." His voice was full of hatred now, not calm at all. "I respected you all this time for not being selfish, for letting her go so she could be happy. I guess I was wrong."
"I'm doing the right thing."Jacob's voice wasn't steady, from the look on his face he seemed to notice.
"Are you?" Edward challenged "You don't even know, do you?" and that's all it took for Jake to a reach melt down point.
"Get out of my head leechཀ" he growled.
"You know that the only reason you're here is because you couldn't stand to see her happy with anyone else but you, me especially." Edwards voice was cold, but I was glad he was getting Jacob the message.
"That's not true Bella." The pain in his eyes was obvious now.
I was relieved no one could hear us, relieved no one would here the cruelty in my words. "Jake I'm not even sure anymore. If that's not why you're here, then why? Why would you want to make me so miserable? Don't even bother with the 'you'll thank me later crap'!" I saw the pain, but I didn't care I was on an angry rampage. "Jacob I love you, but when it comes down to it, I love Edward more. If he died I wouldn't think twice, I'd do what ever I had to, and join him. The is no life worth living without him, even with you; I could never be happy. Oh and don't even think he wouldn't do the same, he almost blew his cover in front of hundreds of people because he thought I threw myself over a cliff. Do you know how painful it would have been for him? An-" Edward had cut me off. I was getting louder, and the tears were coming faster and thinker.
He pulled me to his chest and I cried there quietly. "Are you happy now?"
"I love her just as much as you do blood sucker." Jacob was shaking all over now, and abruptly brought his fists to his temples to calm down.
"That isn't even remotely possible dog, if it was you wouldn't be here." Jacob's face went from anger, to pain, to complete agony and infuriation.
"Jake you should go," I whispered.
"I can't," he mumbled, "I love you." As if that would change my mind.
"Fine," I pushed up from Edward to see not one pair of eyes full of pain, but two. They had just both feared they'd lost me, only one of them had.
"I do" I said loudly.
"Bella?" I wasn't sure if it had been Edward or Jacob, or both who had said my name, either way I had to make myself clear.
"I do, take Edward Cullen to be my lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse." My voice was firm and final. In a lower voice I gasped, my voice, no longer full of strength "Are you happy now Jake, you forced me to chose in front of my friends and family and I did. I chose him." He seemed to crumble with every word I said, and with that he ran out of the church, almost too fast. Once he was gone the tears came out in rivers and waterfalls. Edward pulled me to his chest and kissed the top of my head.
"Bella, it's okay, it's okay, everything is fine. If you want me to go after him I-."
"No, no stay right here don't go anywhere," I pleaded.
"I can't just let this go." He was looking out the open door. "He hurt you too much."
"Promise me you'll leave the church with me in your arms, not pieces of himཀ" I don't know how he understood me as I whispered urgently into his chest but he did. I felt bad for ruining his tux, he had looked so good in it, but I knew he would just buy another one.
"I promise." In his arms it only took a minute to stop the tear storm.
The priest kindly put one hand on each of our shoulders "Shall we?" Edward and I nodded and for the first time since Jacob ran in, I was able to smile. "I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride."
Edwards kiss was full of happiness, not the fearing edge I had dreaded would accompany it. He held my face for a moment and pulled away. "I'm sorry for the disturbance, if you don't mind I'd like to delay the reception for two hour to sort things out, you are welcome to enjoy the food and beverages until we arrive thank you."
"You didn't have to do that," I whimpered, as I whipped the tears from my cheeks, ashamed of my act of grief.
"Yes I did." He smiled as he scooped me up and carried me to the limo. All the faces around me were in an arrangement of emotions, from excited, to upset, curious, to infuriated -I'm sure Charlie was among the angry percentage-.
In Edwards arm it was hard not to smile like that had never happened but in my head there was a war raging. What the hell was he thinking? Was he trying to make me break down in hysterics in front of everyone? How can he be so selfish? I'm gonna kill himཀDuring the ten minute ride I passed out on my princes' lap. He had set me down on the couch in his living room as I awoke.
"Did I wake you?" He asked, he looked worried. "I tried not to."
"No... Yes, but it's okay. Now take me to La Push I'm going to kill Jacob."
"Bella," his voice was disapproving "You know what will happen if we cross the border, remember the treaty?"
"Yes, I don't care anymore. You can have fun turning him into a meatball, I DON'T CAREཀ" I was on my feet, screaming like a lunatic in my wedding gown.
"You'd care. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not in a year or even fifty years, but you'll care and you'll hate yourself." It surprised me how easily he could turn this opportunity down. "You look great by the way."
"How can you talk about how I look after what just happenedཀ" His tolerance was really going to drive my insane.
"I told you nothing in the world but you matters to me, so I only care that he hurt you and I will get him back for that, but I will not kill him; the fact that he ruined the wedding means nothing." He was smiling, "Besides his little act of selfishness doesn't stop us from being selfish and giving you what you want."
The fire in his eyes was making it hard to breath. He grabbed me and pinned me down on the couch making sure none of his weight was on me and smiled his smile.
"Now you have a point there." I smiled, wrapping my arms around his neck, and all my anger was gone...for now.
"I could go out and kill him for you, I want to, but I'd haveto cancel our plans tonight... If that's what you wa-." I cut him off.
"No that's okay," I said clenching onto his shirt "you stay right here with me and don't go anywhere."
"Where did the anger go?" He made a mocking face pretending he was confused, I had to admit I had mood swings like a schizophrenic.
"It's hard for me to think of things that make me want to rip someone's head of when I'm around you, you make me too happy."
"Is that a good thing?" Edward was smiling my smile again, it made it hard to breath, I still wondered if I would every get used to his beauty.
When I found my voice I replied, "Of course, I think I'd be in an insane asylum if I didn't have you to keep my anger in check." I didn't forget to breath because of his flawless smile, this time I was lost in eyes, they were lightest shade of topaz I've ever seen, he must have hunted while he was gone. If not they would most likely be black by now.
"Breath Bella." He laughed. "I swear if I too was human, we would both die of lack of oxygen."
"As long as you are the last thing I see, I'm okay."
"You love me more than I deserve."
"Not possible," I told him, kissing him gently. He kissed me back my head was filling with his sweat fragrance and it was hard to remember what I had wanted to tell him. "Will you talk to him?" he looked confused or was that hidden disgust? "Will you try to find Jake? I really want him to know what is going on, I don't want him to have any false hope; it'll crush him more when he finds out he is wrong."
"Do you really want me to?" His concerned face made me feel horrible. I asked him too much; but I needed him to do this. I had promised myself just a little while ago I wouldn't hurt him or Jacob in this way ever again. But every time I made that promise I broke it hurting myself as much as I'd hurt them.
"Please don't hate me." I dug my face into his shirt hoping what I had just asked would disappear like the tears I had just shed. Hiding my face from him so that I wouldn't see the angry expression grow on his face.
Instead he laughed, "Just a second ago when I wanted to kill him, you say stay, now when I don't want to leave, you ask me to talk to him. I can't promise he will come back to apologize in one piece."
"That was because you said you would be canceling our plans," I traced the dents his perfect chest made on his shirt, "I won't have that. There is nothing in the world that is more important than us." I had picked up my head to see him smiling not angry at all.
"Not even Jacob?" The serious turn his face took frightened me.
"Not even Jacob." I smiled uneasily, as if Jacob had a chance.
"Yes, I will go talk to him, I will do anything you ask. You are after all the only reason for my existence; just promise me something."
"Anything," the words came out effortlessly. "Your wish is my command."
"You have to stay right here. You will not put your self in danger for me." He looked at me in a way he hadn't in a long time; a look that said I'm scared I'll never see you again.
"Edward what's wrong?"
"It's just," he paused either to find the right words or to lie about some thing he had already said too much about, "Alice saw your future disappear. She called me when you fell asleep in the car."
"That's all? It has nothing to do with the Volturi?"
"Of course not. Bella I told you I will never let anything harm you ever again. I have put you in too much danger already, and I won't risk losing you." He had wrapped me tight into his arms talking into my head. "You mean too much to me Bella."
"Well, you won't have to worry much longer." I tried to make him feel better, lately he seemed to be fixated on not even letting me get a bruise; as if to convince himself my being with him wouldn't be my doom. "You said within the first year I'll be strong, stronger than Emmett; I am going to challenge him to that arm wrestling match. I'll show him funny."
"Now that will be a sight," He laughed lightening his mood just a bit. "Now if I want to find our wedding crasher and get back in time, I need to go now; so do you promise not to do anything stupid."
Those words stung, like a nail right through my heart. The last time he made me promise not to anything stupid, he had no intentions of coming back, but from the way his lips crushed mine, I knew this time would be different. "I promise."
I watched him get in the silver Volvo and drive off, all the time not taking his eyes off me. I stood there for five minutes staring after him until the late August heat got to me, and I went inside. What was I going to do for two hours alone, when all I wanted was to be in the arms of my Romeo, a place that felt more like home then even my apartment in Phoenix?
That's when I saw him standing there leaning against the railing with his long muscular arms crossed. He wasn't glaring at me, but his blood shot eyes made him look dangerous.
"Jake what are you doing here? How did you even get in?
He smiled a cruel crooked smile, "Didn't Charlie teach you not to keep the door open Bells?"
"Jake you crossed the line you could break the treaty are you insane?" Looking at him and how his body just slouched in depression made my eyes start to tear. The last thing I wanted to feel was sympathy to Jake, the one who had ruined everything just a little while ago.
"I can control myself besides, I'm not the one whose giving up my life."
I wanted to slap him."Well I wouldn't exactly be living my life with someone whose forever sixteen and acts it too."
"I will die some day of old age, he won't. I'm human, he's not." He was trying so hard to change my mind.
"Barley, he is more human then you could ever be you selfish dog." I hadn't meant to call him that, but he was more a dog than Edward would ever be a leech.
"Bella, I could show you so much more than he can. I can give you so much more."
"Jake I love him." I was backing away from him, there was something in his eyes that scared me, truly scared me. "I have him on speed dial, I'll call him right now." I had started to run into the living room to grab my purse, that five minutes ago had just been there, hanging on the chair.
"Looking for this?" I heard him shout from the other room. I slowly walked into the foyer afraid to find what he was holding. To my horror in his oversized hand was my little silver cell phone, the one Edward had bought me last week incase I needed him.
"It's so fragile, it would be a shame if it broke." Suddenly he looked crazed, like a lunatic, and snapped the little cell into pieces.
"Jake what's wrong with you? Get out. GET OUT RIGHT NOW!" I pointed to the door hiding my tears from him, I couldn't let him get to me.
"I think your blood sucker knew there was a good chance you'd want to change your mind. That you'd want to give me a choice. Well I choose to take another chance.
"Jake what are you talking about?"
"Run away with me Bella. It could be just us, he'll never find you. Once your gone he'll leave and you wont have any strings tying you here."
"He would kill himself!" I shouted at him not able to hide the tears any longer they were running down my face.
"So?"
I stared at him in disbelief, "If he killed himself, I would without even thinking take the sharpest thing around me and stab it right through my heart that would have died along with him. Jake, I could never love you as much as I love him. Not even if I could live a hundred years without him. You saw what four months did to me think about the rest of my life!
"Bella, don't cry, I'm sorry."
"Hell your sorry, I'm not crying because I'm grieving over losing you, I'm crying because I hate you Jacob Black." he rolled his eyes, he never took me serious when I told him I hated him. "I'm angry don't you know me at all. I'm starting to think you never did."
"Bella?" The crazed look was going away replaced with regret and then something I was afraid to even think about. "You love me I know it. I'll prove it to you." Suddenly all the space I had built between us was gone with one wistful step and he was forcing himself on me.
"Jake I did love you until about twenty minutes ago." I tried to keep him off me, but he didn't look as fragile as he did when I first saw him leaning on the railing; he had a new found strength.
"Jake please get off me. Please don't do this." He had me on the couch pinning me down beneath him.
"Bella I know you want this." His weight made it so hard to breath he wasn't as careful as Edward.
"No, no I don't." I tried to say but it wouldn't come out. Jacob was feeling my leg and clenching to it. "NO!" It took so much strength and air to get that out and now I was dizzy.
His weight lightened a little, "Jake go imprint on someone for heavens sakes, I'm married now, its over. I don't love you anymore!"
His body started to shake all over, "Don't say that."
"I don't love you." Whether it was a survival instinct or just because I had seen what happened to Emily, I pulled my face between my knees as his body jumped of me and a huge ripping sound broke through the air. I didn't even feel it until a thick wetness started running down my leg, and I heard a window brake. I looked down to my thigh the one Jacob had been clinging to, and not only was there a huge bruise but five deep gashes with blood pouring out of them. I got even more light headed than before, and forced myself to look away to see a huge hole in the wall. Finally the pain struck. It had hurt more than anything I'd ever felt -other than the vampire bite I had gotten from James about a year and a half ago; the white crescent scar on my hand always a couple degrees colder than my skin reminded me of that- I forced myself up, and limped to the door. I couldn't let him get away with this and I went into the woods after him.
I had to find him, I had to tell him to never come near me again, I had to kill him. I walked deeper and deeper into the damp forest, I didn't even know where I was going but I had to find him. The canopy of trees became thicker and less light was able to peek through, there was scarcely any to begin with. I felt like I was never going to find what I was looking for no matter how far I walked, my leg was on fire and as red as my dress. It finally became too much and I forced myself to sit down on a fallen tree. I leaned back on another old oak behind where I was sitting and decided a rest would do me some good. But when I tried to open my eyes I didn't have enough strength, my body was giving in to the exhaustion, and I felt like a feather due to all the blood loss. I don't know how long I laid there against the tree barely conscious, slowly drying out. The blood had risen to my waist and my tattered dress was ruined but what did I care what I died in. At least I was bleeding to death due to someone Edward could easily rip to shreds, by someone who would cause him no danger; revenge would be sweet.
"Bella!" A voice shouted, even in the state I was in I recognized it. "What happened to you? Who did this? You promised." I was being carried to safety at light speed in his arms. How could have been so stupid, how could I put him through this. After he killed Jacob he would have killed himself gone right to the Volturi and run into the sunlight.
"Edward," a whisper was all I could manage.
"Shhh, everything will be fine." He held me closer to him, his velvet voice quivering in anguish against my ear. "Bella I love you stay with me." He began to run even faster than I thought was possible. "Stay with me, Bella please don't leave me." Then all went black.
I woke up in a room I knew well; it wasn't this exact room that was familiar, but all hospital rooms looked the same to me. He was sitting right by my side with my hand in his. He had be stroking my limp fingers and hadn't seen me open my eyes.
"I don't deserve you," I murmured, my throat dry. His eyes flickered to my face at once, and if he could cry, I'm sure that's what he'd be doing.
"I don't know how long I've been out, but I bet you didn't even leave my side."
"Not for a second. They had to pry you from my arms." He kissed my forehead so lightly, as if I would crumble from even the slightest touch.
"How long have I been out?"
"Two days. I wasn't sure if you'd wake up. I started to worry when you didn't start talking after a day, even after you smelled like yourself again." He was looking at me so intensely, as if he'd blink I'd vanish. "I even had Alice check."
"May we come in?" Jasper was standing in the open door, looking timidly at his feet.
"Of course! You're always welcome." I looked at him and hoped he'd feel the trust I had for him. He walked in holding Alice's hand, followed by Rosalie and Emmett.
"We're going to rip that dog to shreds Bella." Emmett looked furious, he was pounding his fist into his hand. "He'll regret ever even touching you."
"Emmett!" Rosalie had just elbowed him hard in the ribs but of course he barely felt it.
"It's okay; where's the traitor now?" I asked. Then suddenly everyone's face went blank.
"Bella," Edward's voice was full of caution as he glared at his brother "No one has seen Jacob since the wedding. Sam and the rest of the pack have looked everywhere, but he hasn't phased since he ran away. He doesn't want to be found."
"You've talked to Sam?" I questioned, "What did he say? That this is none of Jacob's fault?" I could feel my face getting hot and the machine keeping track of my heart rate started to act up.
"Calm down Bella, Sam actually is as mad a him as we are." This was news, a werewolf siding with a vampire against another one of its kind.
"What?"
For the first time since I awoke Alice spoke, "Bella I'm so sorry I didn't see it. After you decided you weren't going to look for him the first time, I saw your future again and you were just supposed to wait in the house. But by the time it disappeared it was too late I'm so sorry." She ran over to me, even in grief she looked like she was dancing.
"It's not your fault Alice, you couldn't have seen it, it all happened too fast."
"Oh look Charlie, Reneé she's awake!" I looked toward the door to see Esme standing there and a frantic Charlie and Reneé running in behind her. It was if I had died and was one of those miracles you see on T.V. come back to life. Edward backed away and let my parents smother me in kissed, and praises. Carlisle had come in so quietly I hadn't even noticed.
"I see your awake Bella. Feel any better?" Even though he wasn't Edward's real father he felt more like a father-in-law than Billy would have. Billy had always felt like an uncle not a father.
"Yes I do, I was being taken care of by the best doctor in this hospital."
"In the country if you ask me." Charlie added.
"Well I couldn't have just anyone save my new daughter, could I?" Carlisle was a vampire like the rest of them, but he could control himself around human blood as much as Jasper couldn't. "I think if your feeling better you can leave by tonight I will be checking up on you of course."
"Oh Carlisle I really want Bella to stay at your house. That way if she needs help you and Edward can be there." Charlie was still looking at me his cheeks were wet with tears, and his eyes crumbled from the smile he had on his face.
"That's a good idea," Renee said she looked the same as Charlie did, but her eyes were too wide to crumble.
"Mom where's Phil?"
"Oh he's getting us something to eat, he hates hospital food."
"Since when?" Phil had been in the hospital plenty of times for me, and he had never complained.
"Since his mother died two months ago." My mother frowned for the first time since I saw her after Jake pulled his little stunt.
"Oh I'm sorry." Phil did seem a little down lately, he wasn't his usual active self, I just knew why now. At that moment, Sam and the rest of the Quileute pack walked in, it seemed oddly empty without Jake in the front of them, but I quickly shoved that away
"Why don't we let these kids have some time alone." Esme led my parents out of the small room.
Quil and Embry where the first to speak.
"How are you Bella?" I sat up smiling and pulled the blanket away from my stitched up leg. "I'm fine but I got some pretty nice battle scars."
"Ouch," Quil looked embarrassed. "He didn't mean it. He wouldn't do that on purpose."
Quil was the one to laugh, "And I thought Paul had the bad temper, tisk tisk." I laughed with him, but Paul gave him a look of pure anger. It felt good not to be serious for those few seconds. Edward didn't have a huge problem with the rest of the pack, none of the Cullens did. Jacob was the only one who ever served as a problem.
"This is not remotely funny Embry." Sam had put a warning hand on his shoulder, Emily was standing next to him.
"We are glad you feel better." Sam forced a smile on his face but his eyes never left the new scars on my leg.
"How could he do this?" Emily had broke away from Sam and came over to hug me. "He was out of his mind, I didn't even know he'd come back." She kissed me on he forehead, her three long claw marks as deep and dark as ever. Like Esme, Emily was so naturally motherly, and she never judged my choice. She only knew I loved Edward like she loved Sam. She was a wolf girl and I was the vampire girl, we held an understanding that was all our own.
"If any of us had known we would have never let him go to your wedding, I am so sorry."
Sam suddenly cut in. "I think Leah has something to say." Leah was the only female werewolf, and was usually very bitter, but now she looked as if she wished she could disappear. She was leaning against the wall with her brother and some of the other member of the pack who I didn't know so well, they were relatively new.
"He had said if he went to the wedding he could get over you. I didn't think he'd take it so far."
I looked at her for a long moment all breathing seemed to stop, but I broke the silence.
"How could you not know? Can't you read his mind? How did you know and no one else?"
"We weren't supposed to phase unless it was an emergency, to give Jacob some time and I-."
"She wasn't thinking," Sam finished the thought "She had to see if he finally got over you she couldn't help herself." He was glaring at her now "She finally decided to tell us that little secret after you were in the hospital due to a wolf attack."
"I am sorry Bella." She looked at me for the first time and I knew she was telling the truth.
"I know."
"Me and Embry have been trying to find him." Quil told me, "But he hasn't phased since then and by the time we found out, he was human again."
"We're still looking, and if we find him we will give him hell for that, he was out of line."
"Why don't we leave Bella and Edward alone, Embry, Quil let's not talk about that anymore." Emily took them both by the hand and started leading them toward the door.
"That's a good idea." Jasper agreed and my family and friends left me and Edward in the small hospital room.
"Are you sure you're okay?" He looked at me with worrisome eyes.
"Yes, I'd like to go home."
"If that's what you want. I'll call the nurse."
The nurse came right in and gave me my clothes. She pulled a sheet around the bed and helped me change.
"Here, you are. Will you help me get her on the wheelchair young man?"
"Of course." Edward handled me so that he had all my weight and the nurse had none, our eyes were locked on each other and only the nurses voice broke the trance.
"Oh I'm sorry we have a critical coming in, I have to go."
Edward wheeled me out of the room toward the emergency exit where there were many doctors running around.
"Out of the way, out of the way." An ambulance MT was screaming. I took one glance at the body being wheeled into the ER and I felt my heart stop.
"JAKE!"
I wasn't angry anymore how could I be? He was laying there completely motionless with his eyes opened in a petrified appearance. Of course I hadn't forgiven him, I never would; but I couldn't get revenge on someone if they were dead that would be the easy way out. At least that's what I told myself, I couldn't bare any more grief, so I held onto the anger like it was my life line. Even through the hatred I still felt an awkward impulse to grab onto him and never let him go.
"Is he dead?" I looked toward Edward to see his horror struck face. "What is it, what's wrong with him?"
"He tried to kill himself after he hurt you." Edward looked at me, his eyes full of guilt. "He refused to phase so that he could die painfully. He had realized you'd followed after him, and knew you were bleeding to death somewhere. He has hypothermia and some sort of infection from an animal attack, but he's not dead, and I don't think he'll die."
"That idiot; how could he be so selfish!" I was fuming he does what he did and then tries to kill himself. "That coward! When he wakes up I'm going to kill him."
"Bella," I felt him lean down next to me as he took my hand into his "what exactly happened?"
Of course he didn't know, why would he know he can't read my mind. "Why don't you ask Jacob?"
"Jacob kind of has a one track mind." I wasn't in the mood to be amused.
"Do you really want to know? I will not take responsibility for what happens after I tell you, and I really don't care."
"Bella." He was looking me straight in the eye and doing something he hadn't done in a while; he dazzled me. "You can tell me anything."
I had to tell him, if I didn't he'd hold me back later. I pulled him down to whisper in his ear, and poured out everything that had happened, from the break-in, to the assault.
Okay I have up to Chapter 3 finished but I don't think anyone will read it, please comment, I want to know if its good. My friends think it's amazing, but they have to be supportive. So please comment or I wont put on chapter 2, im currently working on chapter 4!